The Holders (23 page)

“It’s nothing,” he said, raising his hands in an effort to calm me. “It’s just that I don’t think he changed his name. I’ve seen things with his name on them. Old things – much older than you. And his name was always Clavish.”

I stared at him, completely dumbfounded for the first time in my life. “He took a fake name?” I breathed, embarrassed by how hurt I was. “He married my mother with a fake name?”

Alex pulled me in against him, rubbing my back. “I don’t know,” he said, kissing my forehead. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Yes, you should have.” I wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head on his chest. “I didn’t mean to yell, it’s not your fault. I just can’t believe… why would he do that? What would someone…?” I shook my head, leaving the thought hanging. I knew the more I thought about it the angrier I’d get, and I’d had enough fuming for one afternoon. To hell with Jocelyn, whoever he was.

“You could always ask him, you know,” Alex suggested.

“Yeah, I think we both know how that would turn out,” I said glancing up at him with an evil grin, “and I promised my Mom I wouldn’t kill him.”

“I didn’t mean right now,” he laughed. “When you’re ready.”

“Pretty sure that will never happen.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit.”

“You give me way too much credit. We’re not all perfect portraits of cool-headed rationality,” I teased. “Do you ever get mad?”

“Oh, sure,” he said. “There isn’t usually anyone around to see it, but it happens.”

“Well, make sure you find me next time, because I’m interested.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll piss me off sooner or later,” he said with a chuckle.

“I look forward to it,” I laughed. “Then, maybe I’ll get the chance to do something for you, for a change.”

“Ah, Becca,” he sighed, lowering his face so his nose brushed against mine, raising the hairs on my arms. “You have no idea how much you do for me.”

I looked up to find his stormy gaze holding me. “You have beautiful eyes,” I sighed, loving the way his stare warmed my insides.

He froze for a second, before he smiled. “Yes,” he chuckled. “I know.”

“You know?” Not exactly the reaction I was expecting. “Most people would say thank you.”

“I’m sorry,” he amended, still grinning at his private joke. “What I meant was, you’ve told me that before.”

“What?” I asked, completely confused now. “No I haven’t.” Sure, I’d thought about it, but I’d never actually said it. I most certainly would have remembered that.

But he nodded, his smile becoming shy. “Do you remember giving me back my pillow on the plane the morning we landed in Paris?”

“Sure.”

“Do you remember what I told you when you thanked me?”

“Yeah, that I had already thanked you in my sleep…” My hands flew to my mouth as I remembered him acting strange that morning, and wondering if I’d said something else… “Oh God, I didn’t…”

He chucked again. “You did.” The gleam in his eyes told me that he was finding my embarrassment endearing, but I was far from amused.

“Was that it?” I demanded, slightly panicked. “Please tell me that was it.”

“That was it, I promise. I slid the pillow under your head, you thanked me, and said,” he paused, then quoted, “‘You have the most amazing eyes. They’re beautiful.’”

“Oh…” I moaned, squeezing my eyes shut and hiding my face against his chest.

“Don’t,” he laughed, leaning back and lifting my face. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about”

“Are you kidding me? I barely knew you, you must have thought I was a psycho!”

He grinned. “Actually,” he said, leaning down until his lips brushed against mine, his scent filling my head, “it made my night.”

He tilted my head up with his thumb and kissed me so tenderly that my embarrassment drained away instantly. I felt my neck flush and my pulse start to race and I realized it suddenly felt way too hot out for November. His lips continued to move slowly – so slowly – just barely touching my own, teasing me until my insides were screaming. After a few more seconds I couldn’t take it any longer; I needed more. I brought my hands up to his neck and grabbed two handfuls of his collar and lifted myself up, moving my lips hungrily against his. With a gruff sigh, Alex grabbed my hips, and pulled me up against him. One of his arms wound its way around me, holding me tight, while the other hand slid up my back and neck, burying itself in my hair. The blood in my veins turned to molten honey as he opened his mouth and–

“Oh… My… God!”

Alex and I both froze, snapping our heads towards the front of the building, where Chloe stood, gaping at us.

“Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God,” she shrieked, like a cat having its tail stepped on, “How could you not tell me?”

“Oh no,” Alex said, still breathing much heavier than usual. “I think we’re in trouble.”

“What do we do?” I giggled as she came stomping toward us, panting a bit myself.

“We run,” Alex said with an evil smile, grabbing my hand and taking off in the other direction. I burst out laughing as we ran over the soggy pathway, with a screeching Chloe nipping at our heels.

 

24

 

The next afternoon I had to stifle a yawn during my training session with Mr Reid. It wasn’t that I was bored; on the contrary, his ability was one that I had been the most excited to learn. It was that I’d stayed up way too late the night before, thanks to Alex. Sounds great, I know, but unfortunately it wasn’t in the good way. In fact, Alex wasn’t even physically there. He’d gone to bed (or as I would forever call it, bailed on me) right after we’d had dinner with Chloe – who, by the way, could run pretty damn fast when she wanted to – leaving me to field her neverending stream of questions about him and me. How it had happened, when I found out, when he found out, what it was like, how it felt when it happened, etc. After I’d answered everything I could, the cycle began again, in which she scolded me for not telling her I’d had a crush on him all that time, then swore up and down that she was going to let Alex have it for not telling her he’d bonded to me, then gushing about how lucky we were, and how cute we were, and how jealous she was, and repeat.

It was past one in the morning by the time she left my room, at which point I figured it was as good a time as any to give my mom a call. With the five hour time difference between Ireland and Pittsburgh it was only dinner time for her, and I was finally able to bring myself to tell her I was planning on staying at St Brigid’s. She wasn’t overly thrilled that I was putting off college for yet another year, but liked the idea of me taking some of the college courses St Brigid’s offered, stating, “It will be good to have some credits so you can show whatever college you finally decide on that you haven’t been slacking off since high school.” Plus, she was happy that I would be there to keep an eye on Ry, and I know she was still thinking there was a chance that I would get closer to Jocelyn, though she didn’t actually say it. I hadn’t told her about any of my crash-and-burn encounters with the man called Dad, content to let her have delusions of father-daughter bliss if they made her happy.

I got to bed just after two, and being beyond exhausted when my alarm went off this morning had totally skipped my Gaelic class. But come on, I was really tired, and it was all crappy out…

…and I was tired…

Whatever. I would go next time, for sure. But even with the extra rest that skipping had provided me with that morning, I was still having trouble concentrating.

“Now, whenever you’re ready,” Mr Reid said, calling my attention back to the task at hand, “choose a book from the shelf and focus on it.”

I picked out a small one with a thin green spine. “OK.”

“What you want to make sure you do, is narrow–”

“For crying Holy Hell!” Mr Anderson moaned, throwing his hands up in frustration. “You’ve been rattling on for a year now! Just shut your trap, and let her give it a go!”

“I am trying to train her,” Mr Reid argued. “Isn’t that the point of these sessions? To train?”

“Aye, to train, not to talk her to death! At this rate, she’ll know Kinetics by the time she’s a grandmother!”

“Becca,” Mr Reid asked me, deliberately ignoring Mr Anderson, “have you chosen a book?”

“Yep.” I nodded, turning back to face the bookshelf, trying not to look amused by the banter.

“All right, go ahead and give it a try.”

I melded Mr Reid’s ability with mine, pleased with how easy it was getting. I focused my attention on the green book I’d chosen, reached out my hand and pushed the combined energy outward, extending toward the book. I gave a little squeal when I was able to make it wobble a little on the shelf.

“Good!” Mr Reid said, clapping his hands together.

“What’d I tell you?” Mr Anderson said. “The girl’s a natural!”

“Now, just a little more…” Mr Reid encouraged me.

I pushed out a stronger wave of energy toward the bookshelf, causing the green book to fly into my waiting hand so quickly it was like I’d had it on a bungee.

“Marvelous!” Mr Reid exclaimed, thoroughly impressed.

“That wasn’t hard at al–” But my thought was cut short as suddenly every book on the shelf followed behind the first one, whizzing through the air and knocking me off my feet. The next thing I knew, I was on the floor, buried in a pile of leather and musty paper.

“Oh, Becca!” Mr Reid called, digging me out, while Mr Anderson roared with laughter. “Are you hurt?”

“Just my pride,” I assured him, crawling out of the dusty pile.

“You see!” Mr Reid rounded on the still laughing Mr Anderson. “If I’d have given her further instruction, that wouldn’t have happened!”

“It’s fine,” I told him, brushing off my shirt. “I wasn’t paying enough attention.”

With a bang, the door to the Inner Chamber burst open, making us all jump. Min came running in, full of all-out panic.

“Jocelyn? Where is Jocelyn?”

“Office, why? What’s wrong?” Mr Reid asked, as she ran to the door in the back of the Chamber that led to Jocelyn’s office.

She threw it open without even bothering to knock. “Jocelyn, where are you?” she yelled.

“Here,” he called, running in with Taron following right behind. “What’s wrong?”

“Ryland’s dorm has been attacked! The guard has been breached, I felt it.”

My stomach gave a heave as her words rang in my ears. They’d finally gotten through. And because they didn’t realize that I was actually the one they wanted, they’d gone after Ry instead.

“When?” Jocelyn asked, for the first time making me envious of his stony-calm, ever in control, demeanor.

“Only a moment ago, I came right away.” I’d never seen Min so worked up, which wasn’t doing much to ease the barbed wire wrapping around my lungs.

“Where’s Alex?” Jocelyn asked looking around the room.

“Gone to get Cormac, he’ll be here in a moment,” Min answered again.

“How did it happen?” Mr Anderson asked.

“Didn’t you feel them come through the guard around the school?” Mr Reid added.

“No, there have been no other breaches in any of my other charms or guards, not even around the campus as a whole. Someone had to have let them in.”

“One of us?!” Mr Anderson cried, outraged. “No, it can’t be!”

“Is that even possible?” Reid asked.

“No, that is what I do not understand! The only way is to create a bridge in the charm, and to do that you would need…” Min’s voice died off, her eyes widening. “It can’t be…”

As if on cue, Alex ran in panting. “Cormac’s gone.”

“What do you mean gone?” Jocelyn asked.

“Gone,” Alex repeated, “his stuff too.”

“Cormac,” Min gasped, covering her mouth. “I… I gave him one of my books. He asked to see it last night, but I never thought…”

“Damn bloody traitor!” Mr Anderson spat.

“But why send someone after Ryland?” Alex asked.

“Maybe he lied about the boy’s reading after his Awakening,” Reid suggested.

“He’s probably been lying from the start!” Anderson fumed.

“I should have kept a closer watch on him!” Min said.

“Never mind Cormac,” Jocelyn cut in. “We’ll worry about him later. Right now, Ryland’s safety comes first,” he said, leading everyone to the door. Pulling it open, he turned back and pointed directly at me. “You are not to leave this room until we come back. Everyone else, with me.”

“No!” I screamed, my panic and my anger twisting inside me like a windup toy about to spring. “No way! I’m coming!”

“You will stay here until we return! That is not a request!” he bellowed.

Before I could argue, two hands gently but firmly grabbed either side of my face and turned me around. “Becca, listen to me,” Alex pleaded, forcing me to look him in the eye. “We can focus all our attention on Ryland if we don’t also have to worry about you. It’s imperative that they don’t find out about you.”

“If Cormac is working with them, then they already know!”

“Not necessarily,” he said. “Please, Becca, you have to trust us. We’ll take care of Ryland.” He must have seen the terror and reluctance in my eyes, because he quietly added, “Trust me.”

I did trust him, more than anything, but I couldn’t fight my nature. Everything in me was screaming to run to Ryland as fast as my legs would carry me, and now everyone expected me to just sit here on my hands and wait?

“Taron,” Jocelyn ordered, not willing to wait for my answer, “stay here and watch her. She is not to leave this room.”

Taron was outraged. “But you might need me! Alex can babysit her.”

“We need Alex to conceal us. You will stay here, and do not let her out of your sight.”

And that was it. Apparently, Jocelyn’s word was law, whether Taron and I liked it or not. Alex kissed me on the forehead, whispering assurances that I was too panic-stricken to catch, before jogging out of the room with the rest of them, and a moment later, Taron and I were alone, staring silently at the door as it closed in front of us.

Without thinking, I ran toward the door, only to be yanked backward as a boney hand grabbed my upper arm.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he snarled.

“Let go of me!” I screamed, clawing his hand, but it was no use. For a wiry guy he had a grip like the devil on a sinner.

“Sit down!” He threw me against the wall, but I had no intention of staying.

The moment his hand left my arm, I hopped up and made a bee line for the door to Jocelyn’s office. Just before my hand reached the doorknob, Taron caught my arms – both this time – and hauled me back across the floor, kicking and screaming.

“I am not above tying you down. Now, you sit there!” He threw me back up against the wall. “And don’t move!”

“I have to help him!” I shrieked, looking for something within reach to throw.

“Haven’t you done enough?” he roared, finally earning my undivided attention. “If you’d have kept your mouth shut, your brother would have six people fighting to save him instead of five. But instead of being out there with the rest of the Order where I’m needed, I have to stay here and babysit you! If anything happens to Ryland, you have no one but yourself to blame!”

He stalked off to the other side of the room, still growling to himself, leaving me sitting speechless and humiliated.

Oh my God, he was right. He should be out there with the rest of them, but they were a man down because of me. What if something happened to Ryland because Taron wasn’t there? Or what if someone else got hurt? Min, or Mr Anderson… or Alex?

Fear ran through me like a blade as I jumped up and ran over to Taron. “Go,” I pleaded, grabbing hold of his arm. “Go and help them, I’ll stay.”

“Sure, you’d love that,” he snorted, pulling away from me.

“Please,” I begged. “Please go, someone could get hurt!”

“Jocelyn told me not to let you out of my sight, so that’s what’s going to happen.”

“You’re more worried about…” But my question died on my tongue as I saw the answer in his face. He was more worried about doing what Jocelyn said than anything else. He’d gotten an order from his leader, and that was it. Much as I hated to admit it, I finally saw what everyone else saw in him. He was loyal. He might be a total ass, and his ability might be all but useless in a fight, but I could see he would stand by Jocelyn to the end. While I still didn’t trust him in the least, I knew Jocelyn did, and right now that would have to be good enough for me.

“Then take me,” I urged him, trying a new tactic. “We can both go, and I’ll hide. You will still know where I am and you can help them while I stay hidden. I promise. No one will know I’m there.” The small gleam in his eye at my suggestion gave me hope. “Please Taron, I won’t try anything, I swear. You’d know if I was lying, right?”

I held my breath and put on my best obedient face, as he hesitated, looking me up and down. After what felt like hours, he huffed and glanced down at his watch.

“Fine,” he clipped.

“Thank you!” I breathed, so relieved my hands were shaking.

“Don’t thank me,” he said, striding over to the long table against the back wall and opening the glass case holding the Iris. “I plan to blame this little excursion on you.”

“What do we need that for?” I asked, as he slid the Iris into his pocket.

“Min didn’t have time to reset the charms.” He glanced upward indicating the room. “Chamber’s not secure. It will be safer with Jocelyn.”

Charms… I looked down at my Sciath realizing that Min had also forgotten to put the Block back on before she left. Now that I took a second to think about it, I could feel Taron’s ability in the room with me and was surprised I hadn’t noticed before. At any other time, I would have been thrilled to see that my ability to sense was becoming so natural that I could all but ignore it if I wanted to, however, at the moment that fact was furthest from my mind.

I ran to the door holding it open for Taron and we jogged down the hall, my pulse hammering alongside my mantra: please just let us get there in time… please let nothing have happened…

As I went to turn toward the main entrance, Taron called from behind me. “This way,” he said, zipping his jacket. “They will be there already, we’ll take a car, it’ll be faster.”

We ran down the side hall and out of one of the back doors to the parking lot behind Lorcan.

“Which one?” I asked, seeing a line of four St Brigid’s vans lined up along the building.

“Doesn’t matter, all the keys are in the glove boxes, just get in the first one.”

I opened the passenger side door to find a pile of paperwork and old binders cluttering up the front seat. “What the hell? Whose stuff is this?” I asked, trying to shove it out of the way.

“How am I supposed to know? Everyone uses these, just get in the back,” he growled, as he started the ignition. “Hurry up!”

I got in on top of the mess, crawling over it and through the gap between the two front seats. After reaching over and closing the door behind me, Taron took off out of the parking lot, the momentum throwing me into the row of seats behind him. I righted myself and leaned forward into the gap I’d just crawled through.