The Holiday From Hell (11 page)

"There. That looks like everyone, so let's get started," the green-shirted, female ranger announced. She beamed around and Luce took stock of the other humans on the tour. The killer couple were nowhere in sight. Good. He didn't want to spill his blood into this cave pool like he had the one in Hell's bathroom. It would take years for the water to replenish naturally before he'd want to wash in it again. If ever.

He tuned out of the woman's rehearsed briefing. Hell, what use was a safety briefing to him? He'd lived in the caves of Hell for millennia. He knew it hurt if you bumped your head on a stalactite. It's not like he'd be flying up around the ceiling.

Finally, she unlocked a gate and ushered them down the second half of the stairs – into the dark, by the look of things. Luce let everyone else go first, then he brought up the rear behind Mel. He didn't need to hear the running commentary. Mel could probably give him a far more informative tour if he had any questions – like what colour a fossil's fur was in life. Or if there were any of those clawed crayfish things in the lake.

He ducked under an overhanging rock and followed Mel deeper. Grey, weathered limestone gave way to cream as his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting. A spotlit boardwalk led them further into the depths, suspended over what looked like a deep pit. Luce looked closer and realised he wasn't looking at a pit at all, but dark water reflecting the ceiling above.

He whooped in triumph. Lake Cave was true to its name and finally something had gone right today.

He became aware of seven pairs of human eyes and one amused angel staring at him.

"I take it this cave is the right one, my love," Mel said softly.

Someone sniggered in the dark.

"Yes," Luce replied, holding his head high. "Much better than Mammoth Cave."

While the tour guide waxed lyrical about how caves were created, her voice may as well have been water dripping on a stone to Luce. He surveyed the lake and the stalactites above it, before his attention landed firmly on the column that was both wider and taller than he was. It appeared to end on a little limestone island in the lake, until he looked closer. No, not in the lake – floating in mid-air, at least a foot above it.

Mel's hand tugged at his, so Luce plodded along the boardwalk, his eyes still on the column. From the other side, the column beside it presented a far more interesting view. "Look, that must be Satan's Little Finger, Luce."

"It doesn't look like anyone's finger to me," he responded, grinning at the man-sized, bulbous rock cock.

"Shhh," she said again, drawing Luce's attention to the only child in the tour group. The girl's eyes were firmly fixed on Luce and the woman holding the girl's hand – presumably her mother – shot a suspicious glance in his direction.

He sighed and fell silent.

The tour guide beckoned them further along and Mel led him to the end of the boardwalk, a row of benches and a stone beach that sloped gently into the lake. She started talking about cave formations again, flicking various coloured lights on to highlight the features as she described them.

Mel paid polite attention, but Luce didn't have the patience for a geology lesson and light show. He'd been good for long enough.

The black buttons of his polo shirt were hard to see in the dark, but he managed to undo them by touch before pulling the shirt off entirely. He kicked off his shoes and socks, leaving them in a jumbled pile on the seat. Lastly, he dropped his pants.

He glanced back to find out why the tour guide had fallen silent.

All human eyes were on him again, while Mel was staring fixedly at her shoes and smothering laughter. No, not all the humans. The girl's father had his hands over his daughter's eyes, as if he was afraid she'd be corrupted just by looking at him.

"What? Aren't you dying to take a dip in water this pure, too? To swim under that floating rock ledge to make sure it's not an illusion?" A sudden thought occurred to him and he stepped out of his pants and strode to the water's edge to dip his toes in. "Hell, it's cold. Is the whole lake that cold? Is that why no one else is getting ready to swim?"

"You can't go swimming in the lake and definitely not like that. It's home to unique stygofauna found nowhere else on Earth." The ranger suddenly stood beside Luce, glaring up at him. "Get away from the water before you do any more damage." She looked like she was ready to drag him bodily away from the edge.

Luce grinned, daring her to try it. The minute she touched him, he'd…

"I'm sorry, you'll have to forgive us," Mel's gentle voice said. "We've been exploring the Nullarbor caves, which are nowhere near as accessible and well-maintained as this one. When fewer people can get to them, there's far more freedom for those of us who do." She pressed his pants against his groin. "We've been so used to swimming in the remote caves that we thought we'd have the opportunity to do that in this one, too. I'm sorry for the misunderstanding." She took Luce's arm and dropped her voice to a carrying whisper. "Please, my love, put your clothes back on or I'll be too busy staring at you to listen to the rest of the tour. And she said the cold water has something called gilgies in it – crayfish things with claws."

Grumpily, Luce pulled his pants back on and allowed her to pull him back to the bench, where he sat and glowered until the tour guide led the way outside again. To make matters worse, one of his shoes had been under a ceiling drip, so now his left sock was all soggy.

Daylight would be a relief after the disappointing cave, he decided, looking up the first flight of stairs. Then he recalled just how many stairs they'd climbed down to reach the cave – the same stairs he was about to ascend. One hundred? Two? More?

"Only five hundred and eighteen stairs to the top!" the ranger announced with a forced smile, taking a swig from her water bottle. She wasn't going up them – she was staying for the next tour group, Luce realised.

Grumbling under his breath, he followed Mel up to the surface. Could this accursed day get any worse?

Luce could tell Mel was struggling by about halfway up. She'd slowed right down and her knuckles were white as she clutched the hand rails. When she paused, he moved to stand right behind her, his mouth level with her ear. "I'll carry you the rest of the way if you want."

"I walked into and out of Hell just fine. I'm sure I can make my way out of this cave. They're just stairs, after all. Just…so many of them." He felt her deep sigh as much as he heard it. "What do you have in mind for the rest of the afternoon? Please don't say another cave or a hike."

"Wine tasting is what I'd planned," Luce began uncertainly, "but if you want to give it a miss and head home to rest, we'll do it."

Mel's second sigh sounded happier. "I want both. Let's go choose a lovely bottle of red to take home to relax with. Can we eat in tonight, like we did last night? We still have enough of those dumplings to feed a small army and I didn't even cook the steamed pork buns." She started up the stairs again. "If I'm going to get into the pork buns after that lunch we had, I need all the exercise I can get."

Luce had some ideas for exercise they could do together, but he kept his mouth shut as he indulged his imagination.

When they reached the top, Mel paused to give him a pointed look. "I don't think we could do all you have in mind in one night, but we'll see," she said with a wink before she led the way to the car.

His mind-reading angel. Luce snorted and followed her.

In the car, he leaned across her and pulled out the map he'd picked up from the tourist centre. "Luce Iblis, chauffeur, at your service, my lady. Tell me where to go."

Mel laughed. "The best chauffeur I ever had, just like you promised."

He glanced behind him. "I promised you a good time in the back seat, too. The offer still stands."

Once again, Mel left him hanging. "Mmm, so many wineries. Maybe…ooh, this is the one with the beautiful gardens. The first time we shared dinner together, we had a delicious bottle of white from here. Maybe they have nice reds, too."

Luce tilted his head to try and make out the name obscured by her finger. "What's the place called?"

"Lay-win? Loo-win? Leeuwin, anyway."

Luce traced the route on the map and nodded. The car's engine purred into life and they headed back onto Caves Road.

Mel scanned the signs as eagerly as he did, but they both spotted the correct one at the same time. "There!"

Luce turned into the side street and the search began anew for the next sign pointing the way. Short of flashing neon lights, the place couldn't be more clearly marked. A sealed road wound between grassy paddocks that were bordered by low fences and powerful floodlights. The gum trees lining the ridge were like strange sentinels in the manicured fields. Where were the grape vines? Or the huge industrial plant needed to turn grapes so bad they became good again? The road curved down and ended abruptly in a car park. He couldn't see the buildings through the gardens, either, though a paved path led to some steps.

Mel seemed just as mystified, but the eagerness in her eyes said she was enjoying the experience. Movement on the sloping lawns caught his eye and he squinted at the odd lumps on the otherwise velvet grass.

"Oh, look, Luce, more ring-necks," Mel said, pointing at the lumps. One of them raised its head and revealed that it was indeed a bird and not part of the grass at all. Melodious bird laughter carried on the breeze from the trees at the bottom of the hill and all five camouflaged birds raised their heads to answer the ringing call before taking flight to join them. Mel cuddled closer to him, still smiling as they walked arm in arm along the path to the building hidden behind the trees and huge hedges.

A sign for the toilets caught Mel's eye next and she excused herself to make use of the facilities. So Luce walked alone into the winery and took a seat on a convenient couch by the flickering fire.

When Mel eventually entered the room, she glanced around but didn't seem to see him. Luce watched her approach the bar with an uncertain smile on her face.

"Tasting today?" the girl behind the bar asked, flipping a wine glass onto the polished jarrah at Mel's nod. "What do you like?"

Milkshakes. Chocolate. Red wine. Tea. Those bloody green parrots that kept laughing at him. Those big, pink, star-shaped flowers with the strong smell. He should get some flowers for her. Maybe that would make her smile, and make up for the mess he'd made of the day. He slipped outside and called Mephi.

"Good afternoon, Mr Iblis."

"Mephi, do you remember last Valentine's Day, when I got flowers for Mel?"

"Yes, Mr Iblis. You purchased some sort of orchids, I remember. They were beautiful." Did he catch a note of approval in her voice?

"I need more flowers for her, but something different this time. She had…someone else sent her pink flowers. They smelled. They were the cheapest flowers in the florist I went to, but she insisted they had an alluring scent and whoever bought them knew they were her favourite. Do you know what they were?" He could hear his own desperation, but he didn't care.

"I…I'm not sure I remember, Mr Iblis."

"Ask someone on Reception or that snippy archangel she worked with. Someone must have seen them when they were delivered. Someone has to remember!"

"One moment, Mr Iblis." Mephi's calm voice was replaced by piano music. On hold. Oh, could his day get worse? After the fifth rendition of the same tune, Mephi rescued him. "I spoke to Merih. He said she only had roses and orchids. They stayed by her desk all week."

Luce gritted his teeth. "No, she had pink flowers on the day. I saw her leave with them. They had…the paper around them had a sticker with the logo from the plaza florist. Ask them what pink flowers they sold on Valentine's Day that smelled."

"Yes, Mr Iblis."

He ground his teeth through a tortuous seven renditions of the same dull song before it ended.

"Mr Iblis, the only scented flowers she sold were called Asiatic liliums. A young woman came in and bought them all."

Mel had a female admirer? So she'd enchanted not just the male demons but the female ones, too? Or were they from an angel?

"She said the young woman bought some chocolates, too. Both the flowers and the chocolates were ordered by mistake and she had no space in the cool room for them, so she was at a loss for what to do with them when the young woman walked in, bought the lot and solved all her problems for the day. Like an angel, she said she was."

Not a demon. Definitely an angel. But who?

Luce remembered the archangel who'd seized a handful of Mel's chocolates – the same one who'd told him to go to Hell instead of taking Mel on holiday. The one who'd dragged Mel away from him at the office Christmas picnic.

Damn it. When he got home, he'd hunt her down and tell her to leave him and Mel alone.

But for now…"Mephi, find somewhere in Margaret River or nearby who has them and have a huge bunch delivered to our accommodation. Today if you can, but tomorrow at the latest. With a vase, because I'm not sure our apartment has one. And a card." He swallowed, not wanting to say the words aloud.

"What would you like written on the card, Mr Iblis?"

He had to. If there wasn't a card, she might think the flowers were from that angel instead of him. His voice died to a whisper. "For my sweet angel. Love Luce."

To his shock, Mephi didn't laugh – or sound horrified by his weakness. In fact, her voice softened. "I'll see to it, Mr Iblis."

He breathed a sigh of relief and returned to his seat by the fire, where he could watch his sweet angel lose herself in the smell and taste of each savoured sip.