The Home Court Advantage (27 page)

“I learned some fascinating things about political assassinations,” Lily added.

“Yeah, and she talked about them all the way home. I now know way too much about what John Wilkes Booth was doing the day Lincoln got shot, and don’t even mention the Grassy Knoll,” I said, spraying crumbs in my general vicinity.

“The truth I’m seeking is what she and Adam were really doing when that intruder showed up,” Jess said, giving Lily a suspicious look.

“Adam?” Beth asked, sounding intrigued, as she poured herself another glass of wine.

“Oh come on!” I agreed. “All that tension wasn’t about Goofy.”

“Goofy?” Beth asked, raising her eyebrows.

“We were playing that board game ‘Say My Name’,” Jess explained, cutting a piece of brie and spreading it on a cracker.

“I’m sorry I missed this!” Beth said with a big smile. “I want to know! What happened?”

“Nothing happened,” Lily said, rolling her eyes and blushing furiously.

“You didn’t sleep with him that night?” I asked, spearing an olive.

“Gabrielle!” Beth said with a laugh. “You sound like Drew.”

“Drew and I are actually quite alike in many ways,” I pointed out.

“If you mean did we have sex, then no we didn’t. If you mean literally, as in did we sleep together in the same room, then yes.” She explained to Beth how after the intruder freaked her out, Adam offered to just sit in her room until she fell asleep, but he fell asleep first.

“So you haven’t had sex with him.” I continued with my interrogation. “Have you kissed him?” Inquiring minds wanted to know. Now that Cam and Jess were a done deal, I might be in the market for another project.

“No,” she answered, and after hesitating for a moment she went on, “but we came close that night you’re talking about. We really were talking, but there seemed to be this tension, a different kind than usual. Anyway, I think he was going to kiss me. Well, I’m sure he was going to kiss me, but the intruder interrupted us.” I started making squee noises and kicking my feet. I really had no shame.

“But he didn’t kiss you later, when you two were alone in your bedroom?” Jess asked curiously.

“No. After all the adrenaline had left our systems, we were both exhausted. It was like four a.m. anyway. He sat on the other side of the bed and read, but I could see he was about to pass out. So was I for that matter. The fact that he and I were able to sleep in the same bed together should tell you how tired we were.”

“But he didn’t even mention the almost-kiss? Not at all?” I asked, surprised.

“He said something kind of weird right before he fell asleep. He said ‘I’m not ready.’ He could have meant anything though. His eyes were closed. He might even have
been
asleep.”

“So, what are you going to do about all this?” I asked excitedly.

“What do you mean?” She looked confused.

“Don’t you want to get together and turn the almost-kiss into something more?” I elaborated.

“He’s a womanizer. I have nothing against casual hook-ups in general. I just couldn’t be casual with him.”

“I said the same about Braden!” I insisted. “No offense,” I said glancing at Beth.

“He
was
a womanizer before he met you, Gabrielle!” she said with laugh.

“Well, see when we got together, he stopped being one.”

“I had a feeling he had met somebody he at least liked even before you guys started dating though,” Beth said, “because I hadn’t seen him out nearly as much as I had in the past for a couple of months before you got together.”

“Mark says that Adam hardly goes out clubbing anymore. He’s been spending more time just hanging out with the other prosecutors than picking up chicks,” Jess shared.

“Well, I’ll bet that Braden has had girlfriends before,” Lily argued. “I’m not sure, of course, since we didn’t go to college or law school together, but I have a feeling that Adam’s never been willing to limit himself to one woman.”

“Braden has had girlfriends,” Beth answered, “but those relationships didn’t even come close to the one he has with Gabrielle. We’ve never seen him act like this before with anyone.”

“And Adam acts differently with Lily than he does with any other woman,” I pointed out. “Jess and I stand up to him too and there’s not all that tension there.”

“It still doesn’t mean that he and I could be a couple. We’ve been arguing since we were four years old.”

“What kind of stuff did he do when you were four?” Jess asked.

“Let’s see, he locked me in the boys’ bathroom. He put paste on my chair. He licked my fruit Roll-up and he stole my red crayon. And that was just the first day of pre-school. It went downhill from there.”

“Mmm hmm!” Jess and I shared a knowing look.

“And what did he do when you were older?” she asked.

“Um, mostly he teased me. Like, for example, once in biology the teacher asked for an example of an asexual organism and he said Lily Adler. He used to say things like, I was only hostile because I wanted him. Actually, he still says shit like that.”

“I think he’s in love with you,” Jess concluded.

“You
must
be kidding.” Lily looked at her like she had two heads. “Torturing and teasing are indications of deep affection?”

“They are when you’re four and when you’re fourteen. And apparently in your twenties too if you don’t know what else to do in a particular situation,” Jess replied.

“And if he’s never had a serious relationship then he wouldn’t know what to do,” I added.

“I agree,” Beth said. “He’s probably really attracted to you but you make him feel off balance because you don’t throw yourself at him like so many other women. He doesn’t know how to handle it.”

“He’s always laughed at me and made fun of me,” Lily argued.

“Humor is often a defense mechanism,” I pointed out. “I think he wields that sarcasm like a sword and uses it like a shield.”

“Well, I’m not sure I’m up for
that
battle. I could become a casualty. I could just picture him yelling at me in bed, or worse, laughing at me!”

“I think neither one of them is ready yet,” I said to Jess and Beth.

“So what’s up with you romance-wise,” Jess asked Beth, changing the subject. Beth told us about the guys she had been on dates with – none of whom she had found terribly impressive. Then talk turned again to my rapidly approaching engagement party.

“It’s going to be gorgeous!” Beth gushed. “My mom and I just bought our gowns and we’re so excited. We have family coming from all over!” Family. The word that struck terror into my heart.

“Are all of your relatives coming, Gab?” Lily asked.

“Yeah,” I said weakly. “Unfortunately.”

“Oh come on honey! They can’t be that bad!” Jess laughed.

“If you don’t believe me, ask Braden. Luckily, there aren’t all that many of the weird ones. I mean, my dad’s side of the family is pretty normal. It’s my mom’s side that worries me. Her brother Ira lives and breathes dry cleaning. He’s got a chain of shops in Queens and Brooklyn and it’s all that he thinks about, which is good in some ways, because whenever he talks about anything else he says the most tactless shit you’ve ever heard.”

“More tactless than Drew?” Beth asked, sounding surprised.

“He makes Drew seem suave,” I answered. “But even he is not as bad as my grandmother, who will be blessing me with her presence the day before the party too.”

“Maybe this isn’t the best time to mention this but my parents invited her along with your aunt and uncle and cousin Rachel for a house party on Friday night.”

“What?!” I cried, spitting out a mouthful of Chianti onto Lily’s white shirt. “I’ll pay for that, by the way,” I told her. “Are you nuts?!” I asked, turning my attention back to Beth. “You don’t want to invite that woman into your home! You’ll have to have to have it cleansed by a medicine man and blessed by a priest after she leaves!”

“Gabrielle!” Beth laughed, sounding shocked. “She’s your grandmother!”

“Oh my God! Why? Why? What have I done?” I asked the ceiling imploringly.

“I’m sure it will be just fine, Gab,” Lily said reassuringly.

“You’ve never met her!” I practically shouted. “Evil has a name and it’s Rose Lipschitz!”

“Rose Lipschitz? You’re kidding, right?” Jess asked, coming back into the room from the kitchen and handing Lily a damp cloth to wipe the Chianti off her shirt.

“Bubbe is no laughing matter. Please let me apologize in advance to your family, Beth.”

“For what?” Beth laughed.

“For everything,” I answered and chugged the rest of my wine.

“Ms. Holden, where are you employed?” Braden asked the witness, Britney Holden, who had big Jersey Girl hair, a big Jersey Girl accent and a wad of gum the size of Jersey lodged in her mouth.

“H&R Block.” Incidentally, in addition to the accent she also had a voice that made you want to jump off a bridge. It sounded like someone had taken a screeching cat and dragged its nails across a blackboard.

“Were you employed there on September twelfth?”

“Yes. I was.” I hoped that she wasn’t the front desk person. Personally, I would rather risk an audit than go to that H&R Block if she was there. I felt like my ears might start bleeding.

“Was the defendant Mr. Durbin also employed there?”

“Yes.”

“Did you work in the same area?”

“Yes. His cube was right next to my cube.” Wait, who was the victim here?

“Did anything out of the ordinary happen on that day?”

“Yes. I was on the phone with a girlfriend of mine when suddenly he came crashing through the wall of my cube.”

“Right through the wall?”

“Yes. Right through the wall. Then he grabbed my cell phone and beat it.”

“Wait – you mean beat it, as in he left with it?” Judge Channing asked.

“No. He actually beat it. He threw it down on the floor and he stomped on it but it didn’t break. So he picked it up and slammed it against my desk several times but it still didn’t break, because, you know, I have one of those protective covers on it. Then he slammed a book down on it a few times and when it still didn’t break, he screamed.”

“He screamed? Did he say something?”

“Yes. He said, ‘die die die motherfucker!’ Then he went running outside, and while we all watched from the window, he ran over it with his car.”

“How much was the phone worth?”

“One hundred and ninety dollars.”

“Thank you. No more questions.”

“Any questions, Ms. Ginsberg? Recall that this is just a preliminary hearing, not a trial, so whatever motivated your client won’t be relevant. In fact, I’m sure it’s no mystery at all what motivated him, and perhaps a jury will feel some sympathy, but this is neither the time nor place.”

“Well then, I suppose I don’t have any questions, Your Honor.”

“Good choice Ms. Ginsberg. I’ll hold it as a theft rather than as a robbery.” I guess that was my gift for not annoying him by making him listen to Ms. Holden’s voice any longer.

“Thank you, Your Honor.”

“Mr. Roth, call the next case.” Just then a deputy came in.

“Sorry to interrupt, Your Honor, but Judge Wilson is ordering Ms. Ginsberg downstairs to talk to a defendant.”

“Tell him she’s busy,” Judge Channing snapped.

“It’s kind of important, Your Honor. They brought in the defendants on that West Two Ten case for some kind of emergency hearing and there’s a guy in there who she was representing. The PD he has now is out in the districts and since she was the last counsel of record and they have to do the hearing, he needs her to at least talk to him until his lawyer can get here.”

“Alright then,” Judge Channing conceded. “She can go down to talk to him and explain what’s happening until his lawyer gets here. I’ll take Mr. Roth and Ms. Albright’s cases first. But I’m going to need her back here when they’re done.”

“That should be fine, Your Honor. Mark Patterson is the guy’s lawyer now, and he called to say he’s on his way in.”

“Okay, Ms. Ginsberg. You’re excused for now.” I looked nervously at Braden. He did not look happy at all. Just what I did not need a few days before our huge engagement party. I sighed and grabbed my notebook.

“I’ll be right back.” Famous last words.