The Honorable Barbarian (9 page)

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Authors: L. Sprague de Camp

Tags: #Fiction, #Fantasy, #General

BOOK: The Honorable Barbarian
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For an instant Pwana stood silently, absently pulling his whiskers and fiddling with his knife. Then he said: "Kerin, send your sprite out to the ship, to report how many now man it."

"Belinka!" called Kerin.

"Aye, Master Kerin?"

Kerin passed on the order from Pwana, and the little blue light danced out to sea. While Pwana asked more questions about affairs in Salimor, Kerin recovered his sword from among the dwarf palms. Belinka returned saying:

"I could find but one man aboard, and he asleep in the stern."

"Kerin!" said Pwana. "The fools have left but one lookout. If we take the ship, canst sail us to Salimor?"

"If weather stay fair, methinks I can manage the craft somewhat, having sailed small boats and watched Huvraka's men. For foul weather, I should need more crew. For direction, I know only that Salimor lie south of east."

"Good enough," said Pwana. "Gather your gear and lead me to your boat."

"Mean you to return to Kwatna?"

"Aye. The gods have laid upon me the duty to spread my message of enlightenment. First, help me to strip these losels of such articles as might prove useful, or at least salable. This fellow's hat might save you the need to borrow mine."

"We cannot carry all our gear and a pile of loot as well," said Kerin. "Let me fetch my boat whilst you strip the bodies."

"Why not use the pirates' boat?"

"Too large for one man to handle."

"I will go with you," said the girl.

"Humph," grunted Pwana. "Ever the fair prefer the young and callow to the old and wise. Well, go your way; and I hope you can handle that sword more featly than you did with the late Captain Malgo!"

Kerin and the girl set out along the beach, silvered by the low half-moon. Little ghost crabs scuttled away. Kerin said: "Your pardon, madam; but did I hear the pirates call you 'Princess Nogiri'?"

"You heard aright; but the 'Princess' means little. I am only a distant cousin of the Sophi; his sisters and daughters are called 'Exalted Princess.' And you, sir?"

Kerin introduced himself, adding: "I never expected to see a person like you calmly cutting throats. Had you no qualms?"

"I might have had, had they not used me as they did."

"You mean—ah . . ."

"Aye, they raped me to a fare-thee-well, more times than I can count. Luckily I know a good contraceptive spell. I am so sore that the mere thought of love-making horrifies me."

"You poor thing!" said Kerin. "You're safe with me."

"Who is the other, the old man?"

"A hermit hight Pwana."

"He who created the cult of Bautong and later vanished? I might have guessed. I can tell much of his deeds in Kwatna—"

"Here's the boat. Help me launch it and then take a seat in the stern."

As the half-moon neared the horizon, the
Dragonet'
s boat cautiously approached the stern of the pirate craft, with Kerin at the oars, Pwana in the bow, Nogiri in the stern, and between the occupants two piles of loot—swords, knives, purses, jewelry, and a few choice garments. Belinka tinkled:

"He sleeps, Master Kerin. But do take care! Is there nought I can say to turn you from this peril?"

"Nought," murmured Kerin. He twisted about to view Pwana, who said:

"Go ahead, youngling, unless you be frightened!"

"Methinks it wiser to wait for full dark," said Kerin, suppressing an urge to make an angry retort. He would need all his wits on the next step, without letting personal irritations distract him.

Pwana had been especially irascible ever since Kerin and Nogiri had gone off to fetch back the boat; the idea struck Kerin that the old codger might be jealous. It was hard to believe, but Pwana must once have been young also, with his head full of images of desirable females.

At last the moon subsided below the horizon. Kerin said: "Doctor, may I borrow your tarncap?"

"If the lookout sleep, you need it not."

Kerin persisted: "But he may awaken. If he caught me climbing the rail, he'd let out my gore were I never so prow a swordsman."

"Nay, nay," grumbled Pwana. "I trust my bauble to none other. Go on, board! If you encounter trouble, I will climb aboard to render aid. I am spry enough for that!"

Kerin became stubborn. "No tarncap, no boarding. If you persist, I'll return us to Kinungung."

"And have us subsist on smoked pirate, eh? But hold: Hast a protective counterspell on your person? My spiritual senses tell me you have; that is why my healing spell failed to cure your blisters so quickly as it should have."

"Yea," said Kerin. "Doctor Uller put it on me ere I left home. Is it still effective?"

"I cannot be sure here; but I think it valid. If you did on the cap, either the cap or your counterspell would lose its charge, and belike both at once. Besides, you would have to strip naked."

"Eh? Why?"

"Because it would not affect your garments. The sight of your clothes mounting the rail by themselves were quite as arresting as of you yourself. You would have to climb holding your sword in your teeth."

"Then I suppose I must do without." Kerin gave a final pull on the oars, whispering: "Ward us from bumping the ship!"

A reverse stroke swung the boat broadside to the stern, so that its gunwale lined up parallel to the ship's transom. Kerin saw that he could reach the rail when he stood. Taking a deep breath, he rose and grabbed for the rail, hoisting a leg to put a foot on the transom. . . .

Kerin never knew just what went wrong; but his foot slipped off the ship's planking. He fell back into the boat, came down unbalanced and, arms flailing, fell backward into the sea. Water closed over him.

Though his sword and garments weighed him down, Kerin struggled to the surface, blinking water out of his eyes. Overhead a hoarse voice shouted:

"Who is there?"

The lookout's visage appeared above the rail, and his weapon glimmered in the starlight. Nogiri sat in the stern, apparently alone in the boat. Looking up, she cooed:

"Master Bakai? When your shipmates had taken their pleasure of me, they thought it only fair that I should come out to give you your turn. Wilt help me aboard?"

"That is a kindly thought!" said the lookout. "Come on up, lass; take my hand. You are too good for those
embarpos
ashore. Here, let me spread my cloak on the deck. . . .
Unhh!"

The lookout disappeared from Kerin's view, and he heard the sound of a body's striking the deck. Then Pwana's voice:

"Kerin, hand me my sarong, which you will find in the bow!"

Kerin coughed up water. "Doctor, I must—
cough—
needs get into the boat without upsetting it."

Rope snaked down through the darkness, striking Kerin's head. He caught it, worked his way around the bow of the boat, and pulled himself up on the ship's stern, standing outside the rail. The boat drifted away.

"Pox on it!" said Pwana, who had taken off the tarncap and stood naked in the starlight. Nogiri stood near him, while the body of Bakai the lookout sprawled across the deck with a knife in his back. "Doff your garments, Kerin, and swim after it! You swim, do you not?"

"Aye," grumbled Kerin. "But—ah—if the princess would step away. . . ."

"Rubbish! We Salimorese make nought of the body," snapped Pwana. "So hop to it, ere the boat drift too far to recover. It holds all our gear."

With a sigh Kerin began to strip. "I see you made yourself invisible and climbed aboard whilst the princess distracted the man."

Pwana snorted. "Good there be at least two level heads amongst us! The shortcoming of the tarncap is that one must use it bare-arsed, rendering it impractical in colder climes. Hasten!"

As Kerin shed his last garment, Nogiri exclaimed: "By Vurnu's timeless turban, you're bruised all over!"

"Malgo's boots," grunted Kerin, squaring his shoulders and thrusting out his chest.

"Enough of displaying your manly form to the incony wench," growled Pwana. "Speed you to the boat. On returning, hand me that rope in the bow, lest it escape again. Hasten!"

"Master Kerin!" squeaked Belinka, dancing luminously about. "I forfend this deed! The water swarms with sharks!"

Ignoring the sprite, Kerin told Pwana: "We seamen call that rope the painter." He dove, feeling some small satisfaction in having for once set the omniscient hermit right.

When Kerin climbed aboard again, Pwana said: "Bear a hand with this carrion." He indicated the pirate, whose body he had already stripped of anything useful.

Bakai's body went overboard with a splash. As Kerin dried himself on such parts of the pirate's cloak as were not sticky with blood, Pwana announced:

"I shall take Malgo's cabin in the forward part of the deckhouse. You and the princess may use the two small cabins further aft. The rest of the deckhouse is full of verminous old pallets, whereon the pirates were wont to sleep." The hermit yawned. "Forsooth, this has been a taxing night for one of my years; so I shall retire. You twain should stand watch alternately till morn, when we shall sail."

Nogiri began: "But if the pirates be all dead—"

"He's right," said Kerin. "A blow might come up, or another ship, or we might spring a leak. I'll take the first watch, if you like, and wake you when yon bright star—" He pointed, "—sets."

Pwana walked off forward with a bundle of his belongings. "I am not sleepy," said Nogiri, standing with her elbows on the rail.

"Then you can keep me company," said Kerin beside her. "My conscience is still uneasy over those throatcuttings, but I ween they'd have done the same to us. Tell me more about Pwana!"

"What thought you of him after dwelling with him on Kinungung?"

"He confessed many frauds and fakeries in his former life but insisted he was now reformed; that he had become a saintly altruist. He said his god, Bautong, had commanded him to give up evil ways and go into exile."

"Ha! He fled Kwatna because too many of those he had cozened hatched a plot to kill him, and he got wind thereof. Didst believe his fine talk?"

"Well, he is very persuasive, albeit what he persuades one of today may be the opposite of what he persuaded one of yesterday. And I noted how ruthlessly he cut all those throats and stabbed the lookout in the back."

She gave a little sniff. "But you intended an assault upon Bakai whilst invisible, didst not? That were hardly a fair fight, either."

"I suppose not. Pwana did treat me well on the island, albeit he kept me running with his chores. He released me when Malgo had me tied and stood by us in taking this ship. Is he then so great a villain?"

"Forsooth he is. He befriended you on Kinungung because, being old, he needed a lusty youth to help with the toil. And he cut your bonds because he needed you. He aided in taking the ship because he could not conn the craft alone. But trust a venomous serpent ere you trust him! Even his doctor's degree comes from some institution none ever heard of; I suspect it be selfconferred.

"His deeds were the talk of Kwatna: his harem of captive women whom he abused; and the experimental spell supposed to make his followers into demigods, instead of which it drove them mad. Then there was the trapdoor through which he dropped rebellious followers, never to be seen again. The more his crimes were exposed, the more fanatical in his defense became his followers, until at last he got one of the Sophi's wives in his grasp.

"That was too much for the Sophi who, taken in by Pwana's pretensions, had protected him. Some of Pwana's former followers, disillusioned, tipped off the ruler, and Pwana fled from Kwatna one leap ahead of the Sophi's guards, who had orders to bring back his head."

"Very enlightening," said Kerin. "If ever I have occasion into a river to leap to pull out a drowning man, I will not hand Doctor Pwana my purse to hold whilst I do so. I suppose your news of the former ruler's death led to Pwana's decision to return to Salimor?"

"Assuredly! But hark ye, Master Kerin! Would there not be a hoard of stolen money and jewels aboard? Chests of treasure in the hold, awaiting burial ashore?"

Kerin shook his head. "We'll search. But my brother Jorian has had to do with pirates—"

"Meanst he has been a pirate?"

"Nay, nay. When he was King of Xylar, he commanded their navy in hunting down the rascals—"

"Your brother a king? Be this a tall tale, Master Kerin?"

"Nay again. They had a curious custom in Xylar. When a king had reigned for five years, they cut off his head and threw it up for grabs. My brother unwittingly caught the late king's head and found himself in that foredoomed post. With the help of a wizard, he escaped.

"But about pirate treasure, Jorian assures me that there is no such thing, whatever folk may dream. The reason, quotha, is that when they have taken a prize, pirates forthwith divide the loot amongst officers and crew. When the ship stops at a port where corrupted officials permit, each pirate spends his share in one grand debauch. And now, my girl, methinks you had better get some sleep ere yonder star below the horizon slinks."

Kerin let Nogiri sleep through her watch as well as his. Before dawn, Pwana and Nogiri prepared breakfast from supplies in the galley; Kerin ate while woozy and unsteady with fatigue. His companions told him they need not fear for lack of food or drink, since the hold held ample supplies.

After breakfast, Kerin wanted to hoist the anchor forthwith; but he let his companions argue him down. Pwana said:

"If you try to sail us half asleep, lad, you will run us on a rock for certain. Take your ease whilst the princess and I essay to clean up this filthy ship."

When the sun was high, Kerin awoke. Moving painfully from his bruises, he found Pwana at the rail, staring shoreward through his spyglass. The old man chuckled, saying:

"The megalans feast. Carrion those lizards detect a league downwind and a bowshot up. What next?"

"I shall hoist the mizzen," said Kerin, "and shall need your help."

"What is the mizzen?"

Kerin pointed to one of the two yards over their heads, both of which lay lengthwise of the ship in a pair of crutches rising from the deck. "This is the after sail, the smaller. I don't intend to hoist the other."

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