The Honourable Army Doc (5 page)

‘Now, you need to sleep.’ He stood up and the mattress sprang back into shape. He leant over and kissed her gently on the forehead. Julieanne closed her eyes as his lips brushed her skin. She knew his kiss was more of a reflex than anything else but she missed the comfort that physical contact could bring. She wondered whether Quinn had anyone in his life to comfort him. She’d have to remember to ask him tomorrow, she thought as she drifted off to sleep.

Quinn successfully managed to avoid the topic of his birthday for several days. There were far more important things to worry about and he really wasn’t in the mood for celebrating. Although he did understand Julieanne’s point of view, he just didn’t know how they could possibly imagine hosting a party, no matter how small. He was still struggling on the home front; it was a perpetual juggling act and he just hoped and prayed that parenting would eventually become second nature to him.

Work was his one salvation. The one place where he still felt in control. Where he still felt capable. It was relaxing in its own way. At work he was busy worrying about other people’s problems, which left him no time to dwell on his own. If it wasn’t for Helen’s help at home he didn’t know how he would manage. Everything seemed to take twice as long as it should and he knew he would never get the girls fed, organised and where they needed to go on time without help. Today
was a case in point. The minute something took Helen out of the equation things immediately seemed to go pear-shaped.

He hung up the phone and rubbed his brow as he tried to work out how to tackle the latest issue. He closed his eyes and sighed.

‘Is everything all right?’ Ali’s smooth, sultry voice interrupted his musings.

He opened his eyes. She was standing in the doorway and he took a moment as he ran his fingers through his hair just to look at her. ‘It’s fine.’

He recognised the expression on her face. Lately everyone expected to hear bad news and bad news only. Julieanne’s condition had everyone he knew balancing on a knife edge, waiting for the day that the worst would happen. But today wasn’t that day. He knew his brief reply wouldn’t have given enough reassurance so he added, ‘Nothing major. I just need to reshuffle some things.’

‘Is there anything I can do to help?’ Ali had offered assistance before but he hadn’t yet taken her up on her offer. He was trying to pretend he had everything under control.

‘No. Thank you. Julieanne and Helen have been delayed in the city. Julieanne’s radiotherapy treatment is behind schedule so I need to make some arrangements for the girls after school. I’ve got a late list today as Helen would normally collect the girls midweek.’

‘I started at seven this morning so I’m due to finish at four,’ Ali told him. ‘I can take over your list if you like and you can take the girls home.’

‘Thanks, but I don’t want to muck my patients around. I’ve got a few coming in for follow-up appointments and I wanted to offer them consistency of practitioner. They’ve already had to see me instead of your mother.’ He had applied for this job with the idea that he could manage to be father, carer and employee—after all, how hard could it be compared to what he was used to?—and he didn’t want to give anyone reason to think he had taken on more than he could handle.

‘So what will you do? You’re stretching yourself thin as it is.’

Did Ali already suspect that he wasn’t coping? ‘Julieanne has given me the numbers of a couple of mums from school who are happy to take the girls home with them.’

‘So you’re sorted.’ Her tone suggested she knew he was struggling.

‘Mmm.’

‘What is it?’

‘I don’t like feeling indebted.’ That was true, but he couldn’t think of another solution.

‘Quinn, you don’t have to do it all by yourself. People offer assistance as a gesture of goodwill. There’s not much anyone can do for Julieanne except help to look after her family. Her friends will feel better if you let them do this.’

‘I get that but I feel I should be able to manage.’ He didn’t want anyone to think he wasn’t up to the task. ‘And I hate it that the girls get foisted off onto other people. I feel I’m letting them down. Constantly.’

‘Why don’t you get them dropped off here, then? They
can play in the garden—you can keep an eye on them. There’s an old swing in the oak tree in the garden outside that I used to use when I was little. You can see it from here.’ Ali crossed the room and leant over the desk to point out the window. Her arm brushed his shoulder and he was enveloped in her perfume. The fragrance that transported him back to his childhood, a simpler, if not necessarily happier time in his life. He wanted to close his eyes again and let Ali’s voice and scent soothe him and allow him to forget about the world for a moment. ‘They’ll be safe and occupied out there,’ she said, reminding him of his responsibilities with one sentence.

Quinn thought Ali’s plan had merit until the girls arrived, tired, hungry and grizzly. There was no appeasing them and their whining had him at his wit’s end. He needed to get back to his list. At this rate he’d be working until midnight and the girls would be ten times grumpier.

Ali appeared in the doorway of the clinic kitchen, a remorseful expression on her beautiful face. ‘I’m sorry, was my plan a bad one?’

Quinn shook his head. ‘The girls are just letting me know of a flaw in my parenting skills. Of another one,’ he amended his comment. ‘I forgot to organise an after-school snack.’

‘I can fix that.’ She pulled out a chair and sat at the table in the kitchen that doubled as a staffroom and lunch room. ‘Hello, Beth. Hello, Eliza.’ She looked at each girl in turn. ‘I’m Ali, I’m one of the other doctors here. I’m finished for the day so why don’t I take you
both to the bakery and you can choose something for afternoon tea?’

Quinn was impressed that she not only remembered his daughters’ names but that she was able to match the right name to the right girl.

‘How did you know which one of us is which?’ Beth asked. Quinn smiled. Julieanne always said Beth was a smaller version of him and it seemed she even thought the same way.

‘Your dad talks about you all the time when he’s not busy with his patients and he told me about when you got Eliza to cut your hair,’ Ali explained. ‘He’s been working really hard so why don’t we let him finish his work while we get something to eat.’

Ali let the girls set up their afternoon tea on the table outside near the oak tree. Winter was finally considering giving way to spring and it was mild enough to be in the open air. The first of the daffodils were flowering in the garden beds and the girls had picked some and put them in an old vase to decorate the table. Everything else on the table was in various shades of pink—pink doughnuts, melting-moment biscuits with pink icing and glasses of strawberry milk. Pink, they informed Ali, was their favourite colour.

By the time Quinn finished consulting the girls were fed and were happily putting the swing to the test. He joined them in the garden and Ali made them each a cup of tea and convinced him to sit and enjoy it and let the girls play for a little bit longer.

‘That swing looks in good nick. Has it really been there since you were young?’

‘What are you suggesting? That it’s ancient or just that I am?’ Ali teased, pleased to see that Quinn had relaxed now that the crisis had passed. ‘I asked George, our gardener, to replace the ropes earlier in the week and he sanded and varnished the seat. I thought it might get used sooner rather than later.’

‘You did that for the girls?’ he asked.

I did it for you
. ‘I told you, people want to help. If there are some things to keep the girls occupied here after school, it may make it easier for you all. George suggested they could replant the old veggie patch if they’re interested.’

Quinn looked around the garden. ‘Did you spend a lot of time here growing up?’

Ali nodded. ‘This used to be our family home. Mum started a part-time clinic here when I was two and as a teenager I used to work here in term breaks, covering for the receptionists’ holidays, filing, doing that sort of thing.’

‘Did it influence your decision to become a doctor?’

‘I suppose so,’ she answered, ‘but I didn’t really know anything different. Mum and Dad are both doctors, so is my older brother.’

‘Where do your father and brother work?’

‘Dad’s a neurologist in the city. Tomas is in Melbourne, doing his orthopaedics speciality.’

‘Did you ever think about
not
becoming a doctor?’ He was smiling at her and the lines around his blue eyes deepened, but his eyes looked happy now, not exhausted,
and Ali’s heart lifted in her chest as though it was smiling back at him.

‘No.’

‘Was it expected?’

‘Expected? No,’ she answered with a shake of her head. ‘Encouraged? Definitely. And I love it.’

Despite the fact that she’d felt it had lacked a bit of excitement of late, she did still love it, which was fortunate as she had nothing else in her life. She had always been quite content working as a GP, enjoyed knowing her patients and being a part of their lives and the community, but she hadn’t ever anticipated that she might never have more than this. She was twenty-six years old and at a crossroads in her life but if she didn’t have her career at the moment she knew she’d be totally miserable. She had to love it, it was all she had.

‘I’m very glad you became a doctor.’

‘You are? Why?’

‘I wouldn’t have met you otherwise.’

The twins jumped off the swing in mid-air and ran to the table, interrupting Ali before she could respond.

‘Dad, we think we should have an afternoon tea party for your birthday,’ Beth said.

Eliza turned to Ali. ‘It’s on Sunday. Would you like to come?’

‘We’re having cake,’ Beth added, conversing in the tag-team manner Ali had grown accustomed to throughout the afternoon.

‘It’s your birthday?’ Ali asked Quinn.

He nodded and looked at his daughters. ‘But I thought it was just going to be family.’

‘Dad…’ Beth gave a long-suffering sigh. ‘That’s only five people, that’s not a party.’

‘It’s enough for Mum.’

If Quinn expected that to be the end of the discussion he hadn’t counted on the double-teaming that Ali suspected the girls were very good at.

‘But we think we should have afternoon tea, just like we had with Ali today. That way you don’t have to cook,’ Eliza said.

‘Dad’s a terrible cook,’ Beth added in an aside to Ali.

‘We can buy some pretty pink things to eat at the bakery.’

‘And a cake.’

‘You can’t cook?’ Ali asked.

‘I can,’ he protested.

‘As long as it’s a barbecue,’ said Beth.

‘I think you’ve given away enough of my secrets for one day,’ Quinn said. ‘Five more minutes on the swing and then we are going home.’ The girls both took another biscuit and ran back to the swing.

‘Who does the cooking if it’s not you?’ Ali wanted to know.

‘Helen, my mother-in-law,’ Quinn replied. ‘But I’m not completely useless. Beth was right, I can barbecue and I do the washing up and some of Julieanne’s friends, mothers from school, have organised a food roster so a couple of times a week someone will drop off a meal. It’s very generous of them and makes me feel a bit guilty. I know the girls want to celebrate my birthday but I can hardly ask Julieanne’s friends to make me a cake. And I’m not sure that Julieanne is up to a party anyway.’

‘What has she said?’

‘She agrees with the girls. She thinks it would be nice to celebrate a happy event.’

‘So you’re the only one with objections.’ Ali smiled.

Quinn rolled his eyes. ‘And to think I used to lament the lack of women in the army. I’ve forgotten how good you all are at getting what you want.’

‘This isn’t what I want. It’s what your daughters want. But does that mean you’ll do it?’

‘I don’t have anyone to invite.’

‘Invite us.’

‘Us?’

Ali waved one arm towards the clinic. ‘The people from here,’ she explained. ‘That way Julieanne can meet everyone and she won’t worry when the girls come here after school. And what about those mothers who are helping with meals? Are they the same ones who pick up the girls?’

Quinn nodded. ‘Yes.’

‘Well, why don’t you invite them as well? Julieanne might like to see them and I bet they’ll offer to bring some food too. We’ll all bring something and that way you won’t have a chance to poison us.’

Ali had offered the idea in an attempt to be helpful but as the words came out of her mouth she wondered if she really wanted to surround herself with Quinn and his daughters. Was she making things more complicated? Not for him, but for her. Should she be getting involved in his life?

Ali

B
UT WHEN
Q
UINN
agreed to go ahead with a party Ali couldn’t resist the invitation. It would be rude not to go, wouldn’t it? Of course, she told herself, it had nothing to do with her curiosity and absolutely nothing to do with wanting to meet Julieanne. She was going as a show of support.

Her habit of being early meant she was the first one to arrive. She stalled outside until her watch told her it was three o’clock exactly but when Quinn opened the door with a semi-inflated balloon in his hand it was obvious that they weren’t quite ready for guests.

‘Sorry, am I still too early?’ she asked. ‘I told you it was a bad habit.’

‘No, your timing is perfect, my jaw muscles are beginning to ache. You can take over the balloon-blowing for me while I tie some to the front fence.’ He grinned and a warm glow suffused Ali. He looked pleased to see her.

Ali retraced her steps. She placed her basket on the
ground and took a balloon from Quinn’s hand. Their fingers touched, flooding Ali with heat that pooled low in her stomach. His eyes were locked on her face, his fingers entwined with hers, the contact wrapping them in a capsule of time when only the two of them existed.

Ali didn’t know how long they stood there, silently connected, but it was long enough for her to start to feel dizzy from a lack of oxygen. She was the first to break eye contact. She had to look away so she could remember to breathe.

She looked vaguely at the balloon pinched between her thumb and her finger, as if wondering how it had got there. Quinn still had a handful of fresh balloons, all of them pink.

‘Was there a special on pink balloons?’ Ali asked. ‘It’s not very manly.’

Quinn shrugged his shoulders and grinned. ‘I’m living in a house full of women, and if you can’t beat them…’ He hadn’t taken his eyes off her and they sparkled like he had a secret he wanted to share, but before he could say anything further the twins appeared from inside.

‘Are you finished yet, Dad?’ Beth asked.

‘All done,’ he replied.

‘Hi, Ali,’ Eliza said. ‘What’s in the basket?’

‘Hello, girls.’ Ali lifted a covered bowl from her basket and handed it to Eliza. Nestled inside the bowl were dozens of pink spheres. ‘I made coconut burfi.’

‘They’re pink!’ Beth exclaimed.

‘What are they?’ Eliza wanted to know.

‘They are an Indian sweet,’ Ali told them, ‘and they
are delicious. You can make all different sorts. Sometimes I make chocolate ones but I thought pink would be best. I don’t know what your dad’s favourite colour is so I went with yours.’

The girls ran back inside with the bowl, leaving Ali and Quinn alone again. Ali delved into her basket a second time and lifted Quinn’s present out.

‘This is for you.’ She handed him the gift and as his eyes met hers and held her in their spotlight she decided his favourite colour should be azure blue, to match his eyes.

Her present was a potted herb garden containing a red and a green chilli plant, coriander and mint. An envelope was tucked amongst the plants. ‘Open the envelope,’ she told him.

Quinn slit the envelope with his finger and pulled out a sheet of paper. ‘Cooking lessons?’

‘We were talking about people wanting to feel useful. I’m offering to teach you to cook. Nothing fancy, just some easy dishes that you can do with the girls.’

‘On a barbecue?’ he asked hopefully.

‘Maybe.’ Ali laughed.

‘It’s a great idea. I love it, thank you.’ He smiled at her and Ali held her breath again as she let Quinn’s charm work its magic.

This time the spell was broken not by Ali but by the arrival of the girls from work. Ali’s first thought when Tracey and Deb arrived was disappointment that she no longer had Quinn to herself, but when they went inside her disappointment turned to relief. She was about to meet Julieanne, and surely it was better to meet her
with company. What if Julieanne could somehow read her thoughts about Quinn? That would be a little inappropriate.

A pot-belly stove warmed the room which had been festooned with more pink balloons. The dining table had been pushed up against one wall and standing proudly in the centre was a chocolate cake decorated with toffee shards. Ali smiled. It was possibly the only item on the menu that wasn’t pink. Oversize suede couches were clustered around the fire.

Julieanne was seated on one couch and as Quinn made the introductions all Ali could think of was that Julieanne was not what she’d expected. She was blonde, that wasn’t unexpected given the twins’ colouring, but she was petite. A cheerleader type but without the boobs. Ali had expected someone a little more robust, someone who could match Quinn, not in size but in energy. But then Julieanne smiled and Ali could see her strength of spirit and her heart sank. If Julieanne was Quinn’s type, there wasn’t much hope for her. Tall, curvaceous, brunette and mixed-race Ali was about as far from the all-American type as you could get. The only thing she and Julieanne had in common was nice teeth.

The twins were perched on the couch either side of their mother and Ali’s heart sank further and a surge of envy ran through her veins. It was odd to be envious of a terminally ill woman but Ali couldn’t help her feelings. She longed to have what Julieanne had. She longed for children. Even though Julieanne’s marriage hadn’t lasted, she was still a mother and no one could take that away from her. Ali’s dreams of motherhood had
all but been destroyed. She knew it could still happen but not in the traditional way. If she was lucky enough to have a family of her own it would be a long process, an arduous one, and she still had to find someone who would take that path with her. She couldn’t do it alone.

Her gaze sought Quinn. He was greeting more guests, the school mothers, Ali supposed. Every adult female in the room had experienced motherhood, excluding her, and with that realisation her sense of loss intensified. She’d thought she was dealing with it but obviously she was only managing to ignore it.

Somehow she smiled and chatted and pretended she was enjoying herself but it was a struggle. The only thing that kept her from fleeing was Quinn. She escaped to the kitchen by offering to make cups of tea but her seclusion was short-lived. ‘Let me take over for you,’ Tracey said as she came into the kitchen. ‘Julieanne has asked to speak to you.’

Ali had no idea what Julieanne would need to talk to her about but she could hardly refuse. She returned to the lounge area and sat on a couch opposite Quinn’s ex-wife.

‘I wanted to thank you for giving Quinn a job,’ Julieanne said.

‘That was my mother’s doing but it’s working out well for all of us, I think. Quinn is an extremely competent doctor.’
Well done
, Ali congratulated herself,
you’ve managed to keep things professional
.

‘You like him, don’t you.’ Julieanne made a statement, not a question.

‘I…’ Ali had no idea what to say. What was the right etiquette for this situation?

‘It’s okay,’ Julieanne reassured her. ‘I’ve seen the way you look at him. He’s a very likeable man and he’s going to need people soon. More than he realises. I was hoping I was right about you, I was hoping your feelings might work in my favour.’

‘I’m not sure I’m following you.’

‘Quinn will need a full-time job eventually. Would it be a possibility to stay on at your clinic?’

‘I guess so.’ Ali frowned. As much as she liked the sound of it and she knew that her mother was hoping for that outcome, it wasn’t her decision. ‘But what about the army?’

‘His return of service is up at the end of this year, which means he can quit the army. He’s been trying to decide what to do. I don’t want him to stay in the army, it’s not good for the girls and he’s going to be raising them alone. I want him to stay here. He’s going to need my mum’s help or vice versa. Neither of them can do it alone once I’m…’

Julieanne didn’t need to say anything further. Her meaning was self-explanatory.

‘I’ll see what I can do.’
What else could she say?

Eliza and Beth rounded the guests up to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to Quinn and Ali was pleased to have a reason to end the conversation. The girls dragged Julieanne to the end of the table to stand beside Quinn. Eager to put as much distance between them and herself, Ali stood at the opposite end of the table. Unfortunately this put her in the perfect position to become chief photographer and at the girls’ insistence she had to take several shots of Quinn, his daughters and his ex-wife. Ali’s heart sat
heavy and sad in her chest as she looked at the image of the Daniels family through the viewfinder. At the perfect family portraits. She snapped one last photo of Quinn as he blew out the candles. As she watched him cut the cake, she could only imagine what he wished for.

The twins passed plates of cake around to the guests. It looked delicious but could have been cardboard for all Ali noticed. She was ready to go home. She wasn’t sure she could handle any more happy family moments, even though she knew Quinn would tell her it was all for the girls’ benefit.

Fortunately it became obvious to all that Julieanne was tiring quickly and when she excused herself to lie down the guests began to leave. Ali offered to help Quinn clean up but Helen shooed them both out of the kitchen.

‘It’s Quinn’s birthday, I’ll do the dishes and, Quinn, you can see Ali to her car.’

‘I didn’t drive. I walked, it’s only a few blocks,’ Ali said as she collected her basket and her red swing coat.

‘I’ll walk you home, then,’ Quinn told her. ‘I need some exercise after all that sugar, not to mention some fresh air after all those women.’

‘You were rather outnumbered, weren’t you?’ Ali laughed, her spirits buoyed by the thought of having Quinn to herself for the short walk.

Quinn helped her into her coat. As he lifted her hair from her collar his fingers brushed the back of her neck and Ali thought she might melt at his feet as heat flooded her belly and her limbs. He opened the front door and Ali felt a burst of cool air on her face. The sun
was low in the sky now and the temperature was dropping rapidly, but at least the cold, fresh air did wonders for her racing pulse and flaming cheeks.

They turned the corner into the main street of Stirling. The streetlights were on and the shop windows were lit but the pavements were virtually empty. Most other people were inside in the warmth. The pub was busy, though, packed with diners and people enjoying an evening drink in the bars.

‘Do you know what I’d really like to do?’ Quinn said as they stepped into the pool of light being cast from the hotel onto the dark pavement. ‘I’d like to finish that drink we never managed to have.’

‘Now?’ Ali asked.

‘Why not? It’s my birthday, I should get to celebrate in the way I choose, don’t you think?’ He smiled at her and she felt the heat return to her cheeks under the intensity of his blue eyes. ‘Would you care to join me?’

He crooked his elbow and gave her a look as though almost daring her to accept.

Ali tucked her hand through his elbow. ‘It would be my pleasure.’ He didn’t need to ask her twice.

He ordered their drinks, a Scotch for him, red wine for her, and then found them a seat. The room was warm, an open fire glowing in the fireplace, and was almost full, the press of bodies adding to the heat. Ali shrugged out of her coat. She was wearing a red wrap dress, which matched her lipstick and hugged her curves, and her favourite long black boots.

‘That dress looks amazing on you.’

Ali noted the appreciation in his azure eyes. She
was glad she’d removed her coat as the warm glow was back and heat flooded through her. Perhaps he did like women with curves.

‘It’s the same one I had on earlier.’ She smiled as she teased him.

‘I know. Don’t think I didn’t notice but I didn’t have a chance to say anything earlier.’ Quinn relaxed back into the armchair. Somehow he’d managed to find them a secluded corner. ‘This is exactly what I wished for when I cut the cake, to have some time with you.’

‘Really?’ Of all the things he could have,
should have
wished for, this was what he’d wanted?

‘I know you think I should have wished for a miracle but Julianne isn’t going to get better. If I only get one wish a year I wanted there to be a slight chance it might come true.’

She was surprised by his wish but also secretly pleased. ‘Maybe you should have been a bit more ambitious with your wish, you’ve got another three hundred and sixty-four days before you get another one,’ she replied.

‘I’m a simple man.’

‘Is that why you joined the army?’ she asked.

Quinn laughed and Ali felt it vibrate through her, adding to her already inflated bubble of happiness.

‘No. The defence force offered the best solution to the predicament Julieanne and I found ourselves in. When we found out she was pregnant I applied for a scholarship. It was the only way I could think of that I’d be able to afford to finish my degree and support a family. But it turned out to be both a blessing and a curse.’

‘How so?’

‘I was putting in eighty-hour weeks for the last few years of my study, you know how it is, and after I graduated from uni I had to complete my military training. I was committed to the army and had to go where I was sent. I was sent on disaster relief missions throughout Australia and posted overseas while Julieanne stayed behind in Brisbane.’

‘So what happened? How did Julieanne end up here?’

‘She’s from Adelaide. We met when I was in fifth-year medicine at Brisbane Uni. Julieanne was a nurse. When she graduated she moved to Queensland to have a change of scenery, to have some fun. I was a very serious, conscientious med student and Julieanne made it her mission to introduce me to a social life. She was like a shooting star, vivacious And fun, and I’d never really met anyone like her before. I think I’d always avoided them, knowing I’d get burnt. And then I got her pregnant.

‘Julieanne had never intended on staying in Brisbane permanently, and getting pregnant definitely wasn’t on her agenda. Once she’d had the babies she wanted to be back in South Australia with her family but I wasn’t so flexible. I was still studying, still committed to the army, so she stayed for a few years and tried to keep our family together, but we were both exhausted and swamped by the reality of parenting when we weren’t mentally prepared for it. We didn’t know ourselves well enough, let alone each other. I couldn’t give her the attention or company or help she
needed and she was lonely. Her family and most of her friends were in Adelaide, not Brisbane.