The Honourable Maverick / The Unsung Hero (7 page)

Rick nodded, still studying the images, any personal exchanges forgotten. ‘Could well be heading for surgery. Good call, Max.’

Yes. Sometimes listening to that gut instinct could save lives.

What was Ellie’s instinct telling
her
in regard to whether or not to take up his offer?

Would she say yes?

As crazy as it was, Max hoped she would. He just knew—for the same kind of inexplicable reasons that had made him insist on further investigations for his patient—that it was the right thing to do.

For everybody.

Had he been serious?

Marriage?

Ellie had no reason to think Max hadn’t been serious given that he’d already claimed paternity of her daughter and given her the pretence of being his wife for the last week.

But this was huge. This would mean going through at least some form of a wedding ceremony with him to make it legal.

And that was wrong. Just so wrong.

She would say no, of course. He might be hugely relieved but he might ask her why not and what could she say to that?

That the offer was too over the top? Amazing?

Perfect?

Except it wasn’t and that was the problem. He wasn’t talking about anything like a real marriage here. He was offering her the gift of his name so that she would be legally entitled to use it. It was an abuse of what marriage was and that cut too deeply to be acceptable to Ellie.

She’d grown up with a single mother and had dreamed of being part of a ‘real’ family for her entire life. It wasn’t that she’d had an unhappy childhood, it was just that she had seen what others had had and had known there was something missing. And then she’d been given a stepfather when she’d been ten years old. He’d been willing enough to take on someone else’s child but the truth that there was never any real connection there had become blindingly obvious when they’d had their own child a couple of years later. Despite her mother doing her best to ensure she was an integral part of the household, Ellie had always felt she was on the outside, looking in on a real family.

At some point in her teenage years, childish fantasies of her real father turning up in her life had been abandoned in favour of her making her own family one day. Finding a man she could love with all her heart who loved her just as much. Having their own children. A home that was a
family
home. Full of laughter and love and the occasional smell of baking. A dog and maybe some hens out the back so she could collect her own eggs for that baking.

OK, so she’d messed up on part of it and the man who was the father of her baby was totally wrong but
that didn’t mean it had to be completely over, did it? She could make a home for her child. She could have the dog and even the hens, dammit. And one day she might find a man who would love her
and
her child. He would offer marriage and become a part of her family. Having to explain that she’d become pregnant by a man she didn’t love would be bad enough. Telling him that she’d married the first time in name only would be even more shameful.

It would belittle something that meant the world to Ellie. Make a mockery of her accepting a proposal and saying vows that included ‘till death us do part’. She couldn’t…
wouldn’t
do it.

Was it fate that made Max appear at the very instant she knew why she couldn’t possibly accept his offer?

‘Hey…how’s it going?’

Ellie smiled. ‘All good. Very quiet. Mouse has been asleep for hours and I’ve been enjoying the view. I love how hilly Dunedin is.’

‘It’s a nice little town. I haven’t been here that long myself but I’m getting to know it. It’s a good place to live.’

‘Mmm.’ Ellie was trying to find the right way to tell him that she wasn’t going to be living here.

‘I went past the office and had a chat to your nurse. Looks like you’ll get the all-clear for discharge after rounds tomorrow morning. You can get out of here and go home.’

Ellie stared at Max.

Go home?

Where was that, exactly?

Most of her belongings were in storage in Wellington
and all she’d come here with had been an overnight bag and her passport. If that became known it would ring alarm bells for the medical staff for sure. The kind of alarms that would set wheels in motion. Social service type wheels because they couldn’t let a mother who was only just on her feet after a life-threatening event go off and provide sole care for a newborn baby.

And if she got sucked into that system there would be no hiding her real identity. Marcus would be able to trace her in a flash. He would turn up and she would be weak and vulnerable and wouldn’t have Max or his friends to stand up for her. She could go further north to the town where her mother and stepfather were but they had a small house, two teenage boys and their own worries. Ellie hadn’t even told them she was pregnant. Turning up on their doorstep with a baby was an option that was definitely a very last resort.

Max was watching her. ‘You’re going to need help for a while yet, Ellie. You know that, don’t you?’

Ellie nodded. ‘I don’t expect you to provide it, Max. I’ve got to start standing on my own two feet. This is my fault, because I didn’t plan ahead. I was so busy taking it all one day at a time and relying on some airy-fairy plan that I would go and start a new life in a new place.’

‘You can still do that. Just not tomorrow.’

The small squeak from the crib was a welcome distraction from having to face a reality that had very scary blank patches. Ellie reached into the crib and gathered her daughter into her arms, holding her close enough to bury her face against her body for a moment.

The rush of love she felt for this tiny creature was enough to bring tears to her eyes and feed a seed of determination. She had someone more important than herself to think about now. Someone she loved who would love her back. As she carried the baby to the towel on the bed in preparation to change her nappy, Ellie had a moment of clarity that was as welcome as the distraction had been.

It didn’t matter that Marcus was her father. Maybe she would even thank him one day for being responsible for this incredible gift. Max had been right. Anything negative on the paternal side had most likely been due to nurture, not nature. This little girl was going to be brought up with the kind of love that would make her into a person Ellie knew she would be very, very proud of.

She was already. Taking hold of two tiny hands, Ellie bent to kiss her baby.

‘Isn’t she beautiful?’

‘Yeah.’ The word was gruff. Not that Ellie looked but she wouldn’t have been surprised if Max had glanced over his shoulder to make sure no one overheard.

Not that she was fooled. He might have tried to hide it over the last few days, with that casual dropping in to see how things were going, but Ellie hadn’t missed the sidelong glances into the crib or at the bundle in her arms. He might shrug as though it was unimportant when he was offered a cuddle but she hadn’t seen him refuse one yet. And there’d been that time when Mouse had been crying and crying and Max had turned up and taken her and she’d snuggled in to his chest and settled.

There’d been more than satisfaction in the look Max had bestowed on the baby he’d held and the look had gone on for long enough for Ellie to recognise it as the kind of connection she had found in breastfeeding. And what about that shower of gifts for her one-week birthday this morning? She was wearing one of the tiny stretch suits now and Ellie eased the small legs out, bending again to kiss a miniature foot.

She hadn’t known Max very long at all but she owed him her life and the chance to start again properly and she loved him for that along with everything he’d done since then. As a friend. She wasn’t
in
love with him.

But she
could
be. Heavens, this was turning into a series of revelations. Was it just that she was well on the road to recovery now and her brain was waking up? Yes. It would all be all too easy to fall in love with Max McAdam and what would that get her? A broken heart, that’s what.

She’d seen the way women looked at him and knew why they looked that way. He was gorgeous and successful and she knew better than any of them how kind he was. He could have anyone he chose so why on earth would he be interested in someone as ordinary as her? Someone with someone else’s child in tow, what’s more, and she knew better than most what kind of heartache that could result in.

She didn’t dare look at him for a minute. Just in case she found herself looking for something it would be very unwise to look for. Like the possibility that she was wrong. That there might be a scrap of hope that he
could
be interested. She needed a new distraction.

‘She really does need a proper name,’ she said, rolling up the dirty nappy to discard.

‘That’s what I came to talk to you about.’

Oh, help. As if she could get her head around explaining why she wasn’t going to accept his offer of marriage when she was trying to suppress the knowledge of how easy it would be to fall in love with this man.

‘I meant a first name. Can’t see myself enrolling her at school as Mouse.’ Ellie tried to make light of changing the subject. Cleaning the small bottom in front of her was helping. ‘It needs to be a special name, though.’

‘What’s your mother’s name?’

‘Joan.’

‘Oh…’ Max was watching as she put a clean nappy in place. ‘That doesn’t sound right.’

‘No.’

‘How ‘bout your grandmother?’

‘Beatrice.’

‘That’s not so bad.’

‘Except that she disowned my mother when she became an unmarried mother.’

‘Oh.’ Was he going to make a comment about history repeating itself? Ellie hoped not. ‘There must be someone that’s special. A name that you’d like to honour?’

Ellie looked up. ‘Yes.’ Her heart gave an odd little flip. ‘You’re right. There is. Someone I have no idea how to thank.’ She smiled at him. ‘I’m going to call her…Maxine.’

The look on his face was priceless. ‘Are you
kidding
me? No. You can’t do that. It’s totally wrong for her.’

Ellie had picked up Mouse again. ‘Maybe I was kidding about the name but I wasn’t joking about having no idea how to thank you.’ Suddenly the words fell into place easily. ‘You’ve done so much for us, Max, and I can’t believe you offered to marry me. I really appreciate the offer but I can’t do it. It’s…’ He’d even given her words to borrow. ‘Totally wrong.’

‘But what are you going to do tomorrow?’

‘Find a motel, I guess. Just for a week or two until I’ve got myself sorted out properly.’

Max shook his head. ‘No way. You’re not a hundred per cent yourself. I won’t let you do that.’

‘This is my life, Max,’ Ellie said gently. ‘My responsibility. You can’t stop me doing what I want to do.’

‘Wanna bet?’ Max could feel himself scowling at her. ‘I’m a consultant on staff here. You think they won’t listen to me when I tell them you have nowhere to go that’s suitable for a convalescent mother and a neonate?’

Ellie was biting her bottom lip. Mouse was rubbing her nose against her T-shirt and making noises that emphasised her need for some dinner.

‘I’ll have to go to my mum’s, then.’

‘And where’s that?’

‘A little town near the bottom of the Coromandel peninsula. Couple of hours by bus from the airport.’

Max shook his head. ‘You can’t travel that far yet. You’ve had adult respiratory distress syndrome, Ellie. Your lungs still need time to recover properly. Flying anywhere is out of the question.’ He wasn’t sure it was contraindicated but delivered in such a decisive tone,
it certainly sounded plausible and it should work as a means of preventing Ellie just getting on a plane and vanishing from his life.

What are you doing? The small voice in his head sounded astonished. Wasn’t this the perfect way out? He could almost hear Rick and Jet applauding the voice but Max was determined to argue. She wasn’t going to marry him and that was fine. Oddly disappointing but probably for the best given the kind of potential unseen complications Rick had enlightened him with. But to just vanish into nowhere? Not acceptable because…because…

‘How did Marcus trace your whereabouts last time?’

Ellie went pale. ‘OK. No flying, then. I’ll get a car. I’ve got enough money saved to keep us going for a while.’

‘A three-day journey with a week-old baby? For goodness’ sake, Ellie, what are you trying to prove? I’ve got a spare room and it’s no big deal.’ Max stalked towards the window and then turned, rubbing his forehead as he took a quick glance at the closed door. ‘Look…I’ve gone out on a limb here and everybody thinks I’m your husband. That I’m Mouse’s father. How’s it going to look if word gets out that you don’t come home with me? That this has all been some kind of fraud?’

Ellie was backing away from him, Mouse in her arms. She sank into the armchair beside the bed and for a long minute, as she arranged her clothing to put her baby to her breast, there was nothing but the hungry infant’s cries. And then there was silence.

‘I don’t want people to know,’ Ellie admitted quietly. ‘I don’t want questions being asked or…or social services or someone getting involved but…but I can’t just come and stay with you, Max.’

‘Why not?’

In the instant before Ellie averted her gaze, Max caught a flash of something.

Embarrassment, given the flush of colour in her cheeks now? No, that didn’t make sense. She hadn’t hesitated to start breastfeeding in front of him and why would she? They’d been through a far more intimate session that first time.

Something Rick had said rang in his head like a warning bell. Something about her wanting to be a ‘real’ wife.
Oh…hell.
Was Ellie attracted to him? That could certainly make things a bit awkward. He wanted to help, not set her up to get hurt. He wasn’t offering to settle down and take on an instant family.

Perish the thought.

But he’d offered marriage.

What
had
he been thinking?

This was a mess. Max stared at Ellie’s bent head, her hair falling like a screen to frame the baby, who was pushing on her breast with her little hand and staring up at her mother with a rapturous expression.