The House (48 page)

“Our safety is
dependant on our secret. There are people that hunt us, and they
would love to know who we all are. By keeping the secret you help
to keep the number of Hunters low.” I reached out to her but she
moved away. Nothing I was saying seemed to have permeated any
further than her outrage.

“You mean I
can’t tell anyone? How am I supposed to keep that a secret? Someone
is going to notice that I disappear once a month. What will they
think...that I have menstrual cramps or something?”

I ignored the
sarcasm. “You could tell them that I suppose, but I don’t think it
would work for long. Most people won’t notice; the full moon is a
twenty-eight day cycle so it won’t be on the same day every month.
You can tell anyone that asks that you go to a convention, or to
visit family. Anything other than that you are a shifter. Telling
people you’re wiccan and that the full moon is sacred to you is
quite popular I believe,” I told her. In all honesty, I’d never
been in a situation that people would notice my schedule. That’s
what most shifters did – took jobs and led lives that people didn’t
really care to keep track of. That didn’t seem like a good thing to
tell her though as I had a feeling she wouldn’t take it very
well.

“But I’m
not
wiccan. Why would you chose to do something so cool if you
can’t ever tell anyone?” She actually seemed to want an answer. I
despaired that she didn’t already know, and I was hardly qualified
to answer her. I hadn’t chosen anything.

“I honestly don’t know. There
are
many advantages and people will
mostly change others of their family. It is a gift.” I didn’t know
how I felt about changing others, but I knew that it should be
given as a gift and not a curse. Hannah huffed and sat back in her
chair. “We all understand that you weren’t given all the
information Hannah, but you still can’t tell anyone. The punishment
is certainly not worth the crime.”

“Punishment?
What...you’ll all tear me apart like you did to Talon?” She sounded
indignant and it got my blood boiling. It took a lot more effort
than I would have liked to admit to control my temper. In my
opinion, what the guys had done to Talon had been a light sentence.
If I had had him for longer I would have done much, much worse to
the sod.

“Perhaps, but
it would be the least of the punishments. You would be hunted and
the leak covered up. The supernatural community likes its anonymity
and will go to almost any lengths to protect it. The fact that you
are a child will not matter to them,” I stated as plainly as
possible. Hannah still looked resentful but not like she was about
to go gushing our secrets to her friends. I think it helped that as
a runaway she didn’t really have any. It worried me that Talon had
not instilled in her at least a healthy fear of spilling all her
secrets. Then again, maybe he kept such a tight leash on the
newbies that he simply hadn’t worried about it. Or maybe he told
them after their change, when they couldn’t back out. There had
certainly been enough of a sadistic streak in him to do it.

“Now, why
don’t you show me where you’re sleeping and we can start on getting
your room set up how you would like it?” She shrugged in response
and I motioned her to lead the way to the room she’d been staying
in. It was going to be a very long day.

My sleep had
restored my energy for the most part, but my will...that I was
still missing. I was helping Hannah because I had to. All I really
wanted to do was to snuggle down with Stripes. To remind myself
that we had gained at least one thing from our foolhardy mission.
What I really wanted was for Marie to walk through the door and
take charge as she always had. For her to tell me that everything
would be alright and that we would all get through it. It was never
going to happen, and it broke my heart more every time I remembered
that.

Talking about
room colours and furnishings did get my spirits up for a while. It
wasn’t enough to occupy my mind completely, but it was a start. I
figured that if I could keep myself insanely busy I wouldn’t have
time to analyse what I had lost. There was, however, one part of
Talon’s operation that I did need to face.

I left Hannah
in her room with Hercules who could charm the pants off just about
anyone. I wasn’t worried about her, yet I found myself stalling at
the door. She was in the room opposite mine and I could see that
the bathroom next to my room was occupied, so I didn’t even have
the excuse that I needed to talk through things with Eddie, which I
did need to do eventually. There were just more important things
for me to do first.

I made my way
very carefully downstairs to James’ room but I wasn’t going to see
him. Stripes was in there. Stripes, who had been taken and abused
by Talon while I sat at home safe and sound. The guilt I felt over
her kidnapping had only increased as the hours past. I didn’t want
to face her. I didn’t want to know what he had done to her. Selfish
didn’t even begin to cover it.

I knocked
quietly on her door. I was hoping that she would have fallen back
to sleep. It was a vain hope; I knew she was awake. James had come
to tell me that she was asking for me. I couldn’t chicken out, and
I just didn’t know how to proceed. What do you tell your best
friend who got kidnapped and used after following your idea? I
didn’t even want to know how James felt about the whole thing.

I heard her
tell me to come in, albeit rather quietly. I remembered that the
rooms had been sound-proofed and that she hadn’t likely been
talking much. She had been alone all that time, and I knew that
days could stretch into impossible time when you were that alone. I
had to find my backbone. I couldn’t use Hannah as an excuse for
avoiding this. I couldn’t even use Eddie or my own craziness as an
excuse. Stripes was my best friend. It was high time I remembered
that.

“Hello,” I
said, as I pushed the door ajar and slipped through. James’ bedroom
looked the same as always. The walls were a deep royal blue that
seemed to shine in the light and the carpet was the same greyish
cream we all had. The curtains were plain but the sheets had a
woodland scene on them. I thought that there were wolves hiding in
that pattern but I’d never looked at it long enough to tell.

I found myself
staring at the sheets rather than Stripes as I approached. I had to
meet her eyes. She had been through too much not to see the sorrow
in me for her plight. I had never thought it would ever be so
difficult to look my dearest friend in the eye. I had let her down
so badly I didn’t know where to start.

“Come on in
bed with me,” she smiled and I found myself smiling with her,
albeit nervously. There was just something about her smile. It made
everyone around her want to beam as well. I didn’t manage quite
that much, just the corners of my mouth twitching up. It was
something though, that almost-smile I could feel. It gave me some
hope. It allowed me to meet her eyes, so full of everything she had
ever seen.

Stripes had
always been that way. It felt like you could read her life in her
eyes. There were so many shades of brown it felt a little like
looking into a kaleidoscope. Once I looked, I couldn’t look away
from her face. I found myself memorising the lines of her jaw and
nose, analysing her mouth for any sign of fear or distrust. I had
come too close to losing her. It felt like I had to commit
everything about her to memory, from her sleep ruffled brown-haired
bob to the chipped nail varnish on the toes I could see poking out
the edge of the covers.

“I’m so sorry,
Stripes.” I took her into my arms as I slipped into bed. We had
spent many nights curled up together for comfort. It felt so very
natural to be there with her. She was my sister as well as my best
friend. She was family and I would comfort her. I couldn’t hide
away from her; I needed her just as much as she needed any of
us.

She took my
face in her hands and pulled it out from her body so that we looked
eye to eye. Her face was haunted but determined, stern even. “You
have absolutely nothing to apologise for. I have been through this
with James. It is none of your faults that they got me; there was
nothing that you could have done differently. You came for me. That
is more than I would ever ask for...you came for me. Talon is dead
and I am here.”

“We’re family, Stripes. You never had to ask for any of us to
come. We would have done so much more.
Should
have done more...” I buried
my head against her again and this time she let me. Her hair
tickled me as she put her face against my neck. I could feel her
tears trickling down onto me and I held her. I held her as much for
my own comfort as for hers.

“Why do I cry
seeing you when I managed to hold myself together for James, eh?”
she asked as we each pulled away. We snuggled down deeper into the
bed. There was plenty of room as it was bigger than a normal double
but we clung together in the middle like shipwreck victims.

“Because we
are family. You can always cry with your family, we are the best
and worst of each other,” I told her. It was one of the few things
I remember my mother saying to my father and it had stuck with me
all these years. Stripes laughed and it lifted my heart. I wondered
why Marie hadn’t trained Stripes to take over from her. She was
clearly better able to talk to people than I was. I felt all too
ill-equipped for the task ahead.

“So can you. I
know what happened.” She put her hand on my cheek in comfort. “It’s
alright...nothing bad is going to happen now.” She sounded so sure
of herself. I wished I had that security.

“How can you
say
that? Marie…”

“...is gone,
and will be mourned properly, but the worst has happened. We were
targeted by a crazed killer and we lost her, it is not the end. She
would not have let us let this be the end. I know you, Trixibell.
You’ll blame yourself if nobody convinces you otherwise. She knew
what she was doing, she would never regret it. So don’t you go
second guessing yourself anymore.” She was right.

Marie’s
nickname for me stung a little but she was still right. In some
part of me I would always be Marie’s Trixibell and I knew that she
would be happy about that. She would be glad to have left her
legacy with us. I just hoped that we didn’t fuck it up to all
hell.

“Later...you
can say all of this later. Right now it’s too new. I haven’t even
fully gotten it through my head yet. I can’t say I have your faith
that the worst has happened, but I will try not to blame myself.” I
was saying it to placate her and she knew it. But she didn’t push
the issue; she just nodded and closed her eyes. I took her hand in
mine and let my eyes drift shut. My sleep from the night before
hadn’t been enough, just cursory and unsatisfying. I needed the
rest, and with Stripes beside me I actually felt safe. I felt like
I was finally home.

I woke up in
James’ bed on my own. Stripes’ place was still warm so I knew she
hadn’t been up long. I wondered how long it would be before I would
be able to fall asleep alone again. Maybe I could get Eddie to stay
with me. I still hadn’t faced him over what had happened. It
couldn’t be that bad, but I knew it was difficult to live with
someone and have a casual relationship. It was even more difficult
for some guys to go back to being friends after sleeping together.
Not that Eddie had exactly been my friend in the first place. I
saved analysing what we were to each other for later. It was
something that could wait.

I sighed as I
got up. I was still wearing my jeans and it wasn’t the most
comfortable of outfits to sleep in. Glancing outside I saw that it
was still dark. I’d fallen asleep mid-afternoon so it wasn’t like I
expected it to be morning, but I missed the sun.

The darkness
also reminded me that we had the full moon in a week and a half. I
didn’t know what I was going to do about it. I didn’t know if I
could pull it off all by myself without Marie. It was a problem for
another time, I didn’t need to be adding to the ones I already had.
I thought that I would go check on Hannah before I spoke to Eddie.
It was more than just the sex we had to discuss. I could feel his
pain almost as acutely as mine that night.

Hannah was
asleep in her room. She looked amazingly sweet curled up in bed and
I left her there. No need to disturb her just to talk. I closed the
door with a tiny click and padded back over to my room. I wanted to
change, I may not have been wearing my clothes that long but I had
slept in them. They were crinkly and skewed all wrong.

Eddie wasn’t
in my room when I went in. I was mostly glad, although it meant
that I would have to seek him out. I realised that I would have to
speak to everyone eventually. I hoped that they would opt to stay
in the House with me, but there was always the possibility that
with Marie gone they would want to move on. I wouldn’t blame them
either.

I changed my
jeans for trackie bottoms and threw an oversized hoodie over my
wrinkled top. The House wasn’t cold but I just needed the comfort
of the thing. Warmth and comfort...yes, I could really use some of
that. I sighed again. There was nothing to do then but get on with
things. I came back to the thought that if I just kept busy maybe
it wouldn’t be so bad. I’d have to get very busy for that. I didn’t
think it was likely to happen any time soon.

Eddie was
downstairs at the table. There was quite a lot of food there and I
saw Hercules slip out of the kitchen just as I came down. He would
probably want to eat somewhere else for a while. So did I. The big
table reminded me of family meals, reminded me that we were missing
the most important member of our family.