The House by Princes Park (33 page)

‘It’s the lads, Ruby. I don’t quite know how to say this, but there’s been an accident...’

It had been raining in London by the time the match finished. The lads were on their way home when a lorry skidded on the wet surface and rammed straight into the Volkswagen. Larry and Rob had been killed instantly. The police had telephoned their colleagues in Liverpool who’d
gone to tell the Whites because Rob, who’d been driving, still had his parents’ address on his licence.

‘Do my girls know?’ Ruby screamed. There wasn’t a phone in the flat.

‘Not yet. Moira and Joan have just set off in a taxi to tell them.’ His gruff voice broke. ‘Ruby, girl, I don’t know how we’re going to live with this.’

‘I’m going to see my girls straight away.’

‘Chris is on his way to collect you. Don’t go by yourself, Ruby. Wait for Chris.’

She slammed down the phone. She had no intention of waiting for Chris or anyone. If she ran, she could be with her girls in ten minutes, maybe less.

‘Mrs O’Hagan!’ Iris Mulligan appeared on the stairs. ‘Do you have to leave the kitchen door open when you’ve got the wireless on so loud? I was trying to take forty winks.’

‘Oh, shut up,’ Ruby said brutally.

‘I beg your pardon?’

‘Shut up your moaning.’ She snatched a coat off the rail in the hall. It was an old one of Heather’s, but she didn’t notice.

‘Is something wrong, Mrs O’Hagan?’

Ruby didn’t answer. She opened the door and ran.

She actually lost her way in the streets that were as familiar to her as the back of her hand. By the time she reached the flat she had a stitch in her side and could hardly breathe. Moira Donovan and Ellie White were getting out of a taxi. Both were weeping and supported each other towards the door. They’d lost their sons and Rob had been an only child, but right then Ruby cared only for her girls.

The door was opened by Heather who was wiping her floury hands on a frilly apron. The sweet smell of baking wafted out.

‘Hello!’ She smiled, but the smile faded when she saw
the expressions on the faces of the three women. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Oh, love!’ Ruby fell upon her daughter, pressed her to her breast.

Greta appeared. ‘What’s the matter, Mam?’

‘
Greta!
Come here.’ Ruby reached with one arm for her other daughter and for the briefest of moments, they clung together until Greta broke away.

‘Oh, Mam!’ she wailed hysterically. ‘It’s Larry, isn’t it? And Rob? They’re not coming back. Oh, Mam!’

Her girls were beyond help. Nothing could console them. They cried in their mother’s arms, in each other’s. Rob and Larry’s fathers arrived, but for the mother and her daughters, the other people in the room didn’t exist.

Someone, a man, tried to embrace Ruby, comfort her, but she pushed him away.

Someone else made tea, sympathetic words were murmured, a doctor came and left sleeping tablets, it was the only thing he could do.

Then everybody went, leaving Ruby with her girls. There seemed no point in staying and they had their own grieving to do.

A week later, early one May morning, the two young men, the best of friends throughout their short lives, were buried together. It was the prettiest of days, sunny and warm. A slight, white mist drifted over the cemetery, but had cleared by the time the nightmare proceedings were over. Greta and Heather could hardly stand and there were no refreshments afterwards because it would only have prolonged the agony.

‘Would you like me to come back with you?’ Chris asked Ruby.

‘No, thanks,’ she answered politely. ‘I’m not in the mood.’

He looked at her sadly. ‘I see.’

Days passed, weeks, a month. Ruby stayed most of the time in the flat with the girls, tending to them, making sure they ate. Both were expectant mothers and needed their food. She had no idea what was happening with the lodgers and didn’t care.

‘You know what I’d like?’ Heather said one day.

‘What, love?’

‘To go back and live in our old room.’ Heather glanced around the dark, drab, little living room that had never seemed dark or drab before. ‘I don’t want to stay here anymore. Everything about it reminds me of Rob. It’s not that I don’t want to be reminded,’ she went on, ‘but this was our special place, where me and Rob belonged. It doesn’t seem right to live here now that he’s gone.’

‘What about you, Greta?’

‘I feel the same.’

‘Then let’s pack your things and go.’

Ruby felt in a muddle. In six weeks’ time she was supposed to be marrying Chris. They’d intended buying a house. But she couldn’t possibly leave her girls and this wasn’t the time to be planning a wedding. Perhaps in the New Year, February or March, by which time the girls would have had their babies and everyone’s grief mightn’t feel so raw.

It was then she remembered Matthew Doyle had been informed she was leaving at the end of July and the lodgers told to find somewhere else.

The muddle needed to be sorted out. The first person to contact was Chris. Now she thought about it, she was surprised he hadn’t been in touch before.

She rang the station and was told it was his day off, so called him at home. His voice was courteous, but lacked its usual warmth. She knew she’d been neglecting him, but
surely he hadn’t taken offence considering the tragic circumstances? They arranged for him to come and see her that night.

It was ages since she’d looked at herself in a mirror and when she did she was horrified. She’d aged. Her hair, usually so glossy, had become wire wool, her skin was pasty, her eyes were dead. It was important she make herself look presentable because there’d been something worrying about Chris’s voice. She used conditioner when she washed her hair, splashed her face with cold water, put drops in her eyes, and decided to wear the red dress she’d had on when she and Chris had first met. Finally, she got made-up, taking particular care. Although she looked much better when she’d finished, she was still pale. She went into the girls’ room and asked to borrow some rouge.

Greta and Heather were talking quietly, half lying, half sitting on their beds. The endless, wretched weeping had more or less stopped, but the life had gone out of them. They would never be the same again. Yet looking at them, in their old room, on their old beds, Ruby found it hard to believe that Larry and Rob hadn’t been part of a dream, that they’d ever actually existed. Her girls were home and it was as if they’d never been away.

She flung her arms around Chris’s neck and kissed him. She’d almost forgotten what he looked like. She smoothed his slightly tousled hair, straightened his tie. ‘Oh, I’ve missed you,’ she gasped.

‘I don’t think so, Ruby. I reckon you’ve only just remembered I exist.’

‘Don’t be silly.’ She shook his arm. ‘Come inside.’

They went into the living room where Chris sat in an armchair when she’d expected him to sit on the settee and take her in his arms.

‘Would you like tea or coffee?’ she asked, slightly scared. This wasn’t a bit like him.

‘No, thank you.’

‘Chris, what’s the matter?’ She felt a curl of fear in her stomach. Something was terribly wrong.

‘How are the girls?’

‘Broken-hearted. I doubt if their hearts will ever mend.’

He nodded. ‘They’ll bear the scars for the rest of their days.’

‘So will I,’ Ruby said fervently.

‘And so will an awful lot of other people.’ He looked at her directly. ‘You didn’t think of that, did you? My sister lost her only child. She wanted to grieve with his wife, with Heather, so that they could comfort each other. It would have helped, yet Ellie was left to find out by accident that Heather is bearing the only grandchild she and Albert will ever have.’

‘I don’t know what you mean!’ She felt genuinely puzzled.

‘You shut everyone out, Ruby,’ he said gently, kindly. ‘It didn’t enter your head that other people were suffering as much as the girls. You shut
me
out. I tried to offer comfort, but you didn’t want it. You didn’t want
me
. You pushed me away.’

‘It wasn’t deliberate,’ she cried.

‘I know, darling. I know you couldn’t help it. But it wouldn’t do, would it, to marry someone you can’t turn to when something dreadful happens? I must mean very little to you.’

‘You mean everything to me.
Everything
,’ she added emphatically.

‘It’s felt more like nothing over the last few weeks,’ he said ruefully. ‘I doubt if it’s possible to love a person too much, but you love your girls to the exclusion of everyone else. If we got married, I’d feel very much second best which, I’m afraid, just wouldn’t do. I happen to feel that as your husband I should be the most important person in the world.’

‘But you would be, you already are.’ She wanted to run to him, throw herself on his knee, plead, but had the awful feeling that he would push her away, as he was claiming she’d pushed him.

‘No, Ruby, I’m not. I only wish I were.’

‘So, we’re not getting married?’ Her voice cracked.

‘I don’t think it’s such a good idea.’

She got up, began to walk wildly to and fro across the room, then turned on him angrily. ‘How can you do this to me, now, of all times?’

‘Do you think I
want
to!’ He beat the arm of the chair with his fist. It was the first angry gesture she’d ever known him make. ‘It’s the last thing I imagined doing. Oh, I don’t expect our love for each other to be weighed on scales and your side must exactly match mine. But I need to feel
needed
, darling. The last weeks have shown how
unnecessary
I am to you.’

‘Oh, Chris!’ She began to cry and he took her in his arms.

‘Don’t, darling.’ He was almost in tears himself. ‘You’ll get over me far quicker than I will you. I’ll love you for as long as I live.’

‘Is there no hope for us?’ she sobbed.

‘I’m sorry, Ruby.’ He went over to the door. ‘Can I see the girls before I go?

‘Of course.’

He kissed her forehead, released her, and left the room. She heard him knock on the bedroom door, and sat with her head in her hands remembering, too late, the times she’d turned him away, rebuffed him. Once, he’d come to the flat and she wouldn’t let him in. She’d thought he’d understand, but would she have understood given the same circumstances? It was her own fault that she’d lost him.

She had no idea how long he stayed in the bedroom. When he came out he said, ‘They seem slightly better than
I expected. Perhaps young hearts are tougher than old. Do you mind if I make a suggestion?’

‘Of course not.’

‘Ring Ellie and Moira, invite everyone round. I hope this doesn’t sound brutal, but you’ve hurt them badly. You moved the girls back here and didn’t tell a soul, as if the Whites and the Donovans didn’t exist. If you value their friendship I suggest you try to make things up before it’s too late. Don’t forget, Greta and Heather are now part of their families too.’

A month later, Greta was found to be expecting twins. ‘Larry was a twin,’ she said sadly when they got home from the clinic. ‘But his brother died in Moira’s womb.’

‘I didn’t know that!’ Ruby exclaimed.

‘Nor did I.’ Heather scowled. ‘Why didn’t you tell us before?’

‘Because Larry didn’t want anyone to know, that’s why. It was a secret between us two.’ She sighed and patted her stomach. ‘He would have been so pleased.’

The lodgers all wanted to stay – at least she must be doing something right, Ruby thought drily. Mr Hamilton and Mr Oliver hadn’t got round to looking for somewhere else, Mr Keppel had found a place, but withdrew when he discovered he could probably stay put. Mrs Mulligan claimed she had tried, but had been unable to find anywhere remotely suitable.

There’d been a time, not long ago, when Ruby would have been glad to see the back of Iris Mulligan, but Iris had proved worth her weight in gold over the last few months. During the weeks when Ruby couldn’t have cared less whether the lodgers ate again or if the clothes rotted on their beds, Iris had taken charge. She saw to the meals, did the washing, kept everywhere tidy, answered the phone,
collected the rents, and arranged for the shopping to be done.

‘I made sure the men did their share,’ she told Ruby. ‘Mr Oliver did the ironing, Mr Keppel peeled the spuds and set the table, and me and Derek,’ she blushed ever so slightly, ‘I mean, Mr Hamilton, did the shopping.’

Derek Hamilton, a crusty bachelor in his fifties, formerly her greatest enemy because his television was always on too loud, now appeared to be her greatest friend. The television was still too loud, but now it didn’t matter because Iris was usually in Mr Hamilton’s room watching with him, which meant one good thing had come out of the tragedy.

Ruby warned everyone not to feel too settled. She’d written to the landlord explaining the changed circumstances and was still waiting to hear back. Matthew Doyle might not be prepared to let her stay.

‘I’ve already applied for outline planning permission,’ Matthew Doyle announced when he eventually turned up. It was a sultry, hot July day, and he wore cotton slacks and an Aertex short-sleeved shirt with the top buttons undone exposing his scrawny neck. His thin arms were very brown. ‘An architect is drawing up the plans.’

‘What for?’ Ruby enquired coldly.

‘A block of four terraced properties with garages at the back. They’d go for eighteen hundred each in an area like this.’

Ruby bit her lip and supposed she’d better be nice to him, though it would be awfully hard. ‘Couldn’t you delay it for a few years?’ she suggested sweetly, then spoilt it by adding, ‘You must be made of money. Another few thousand wouldn’t make much difference to your bank balance, would it?’

To her annoyance, he laughed out loud. ‘Another
person would have grovelled, but not you, Ruby. Even when you need a favour, you can’t help being nasty.’

‘I wasn’t being nasty, just pointing out the obvious.’

He raised a sarcastic eyebrow. ‘You think that’s a tactful thing to do?’

‘What do you want me to do?’ she demanded. ‘Get down on my knees and beg?’

‘Some people might.’

‘Well, I’m not some people, I’m me!’ She swallowed. She was going about things the wrong way. ‘I told you in my letter what had happened.’