Read The House by the Liffey Online
Authors: Niki Phillips
Towards the end of his tour of duty in Germany Tommy had been given a posting to Cyprus. He had arrived there eighteen months after the Wilsons, but in the meantime had spent some of his leaves there and by good luck had been sent there for a training session. The relationship between him and Isabel had developed and blossomed, standing the test of separations.
When they had met in Germany Isabel had been in the process of training to be a teacher and in the meantime she had qualified with flying colours. Delighted to be able to stay with her parents in such a beautiful place, she had applied for and been offered a job in an RAF primary school, although she could only be what was referred to as “locally employed”. While her job contract gave her no permanence she was more than happy with this arrangement, since it meant that, for the moment, she could stay in Cyprus. With Tommy's posting there, all had fallen into place beautifully.
Once their relationship had become well established, Isabel had spent a couple of Tommy's leaves with him at Riverside. She had been given such a warm welcome and had felt very much at home with the family. Around the same age as Mageen the two girls had become firm friends and Sarah and Izzy liked her a lot too. Her response to Bill and Harry had been very feminine. She found the two young men so attractive, and they flirted mildly with each other but Tommy had nothing to worry about. Emotionally she was fully committed to him. What bothered her was his reluctance to propose to her, although he had told her the full story about his uncle: his history as a psychopath and involvement in the abduction of Izzy.
Now it was May 1965 and he had just come back from leave spent at Riverside, but this time Isabel hadn't been with him. Towards the end of his leave, when visiting his grandparents, Tommy had made an alarming discovery about his cousin, Wendy, Bob's younger daughter. She was showing definite signs of mental instability. Before returning to Cyprus he had made an opportunity to have a private word with Milo in the library, a favourite room for both of them. In the relaxed atmosphere and drinks in hand, he put Milo in the picture.
âBut this must be a recent development!'
âIt seems not. There have been signs for a while but, understandably, her mother and Gran and Grandpa have tried desperately to persuade themselves that she was just a bit temperamental. But it has become more marked recently and her doctor has suggested that she should have treatment for it. On top of all the other problems they've had this is so hard on them and Gran and Grandpa are both getting very frail, especially Grandpa.'
âOh, Tommy, that's a real blow below the belt!'
âIt certainly is, Lo. I had always banked on Uncle Bob being a one-off, like you said. What on earth am I going to do? I love Isabel so much and desperately want to marry her but with this latest development I don't feel I can. There could be no question of children and that's not fair on her. But perhaps even worse, suppose I developed signs of instability? She'd then be tied to someone like Uncle Bob. My feeling at the moment is that I should end the relationship as gently as possible and give her the chance to meet someone else.'
âOh Lord! I'm so sorry, Tommy, what a dreadful thing for you to discover and what an extremely tricky situation.'
Milo got up and paced around nursing his glass. Eventually he sat down again.
âYou've asked for my opinion and for what it's worth I think the fairest thing to do would be to tell Isabel the full story. Then you can decide together what you want to do. I think it would be rather cruel just to end it with no explanation. It could have a dreadful effect on her. Remember Mageen? Rather different situation, I know, you're no villain, but for her the end result would be the same â the man she obviously loves deeply would have let her down. She'd be heart broken. As for you becoming mentally unstable, if there was any likelihood of that I'm quite certain it would have shown itself by now. That, at least, I feel you don't need to worry about. In fact I would say you're exceptionally stable. But I suggest you go and have a chat with Paddy about it. He'll give you a very straight opinion when you tell him why you want to know.'
There was a brief silence while Tommy thought about all this.
âThanks, Lo. Yes, I'll do that and then when I get back I'll have to find an opportunity well away from the rest of Isabel's family and try to pluck up the courage to tell her. I feel completely shattered by the whole thing.'
* * * * *
To celebrate his return to Cyprus, Tommy and Isabel had gone to Famagusta for the weekend and were having a lovely Cypriot meal together in their favourite taverna, Smokey Joe's, a much loved eating place, with the name originally given by locally based Services personnel. But Tommy seemed preoccupied and when Isabel pressed him to tell her what was bothering him he decided that this was the moment to come clean and be honest with her, as Milo had advised.
âIt's the mental health problem in my family.'
âI can understand it being a worry to you, Tommy, but you said yourself that you had checked and couldn't find another incidence of it on your mother's side.'
âWhen I was home this time I discovered that my cousin, Bob's younger daughter, is showing definite signs of mental instability.'
âThis is something new?'
âApparently not.' And he told her the rest of the story.
âOh, Tommy. What bad luck. I'm so sorry.'
âQuite honestly I'm devastated. I love you so much, Isabel, and wanted desperately to ask you to marry me but under the circumstances I feel it would be so unfair to you. I'm frightened that I might go the same way, although Paddy tells me that if it hasn't shown itself yet it almost certainly won't. But I would be afraid to bring children into the world with such a time bomb ticking away in their genes.
There was silence for a while.
âIsabel?'
âYes, Tommy. I'm thinking this through.' She paused again. âYou know that I love you too, Tommy, so much and I've come to the conclusion that, much as I would love to be the mother of your children, what matters most to me is being with
you
. A family would have been a big bonus but not essential. Lots of couples don't have any children. I would be quite willing to say yes to a proposal on those terms.'
Now Tommy was silent for a brief few moments. Then he reached across and squeezed her hand.
âWhat a wonderful girl you are and what an affirmation of your love. But, Isabel, I don't think I can let you do this. I think we must have a period of separation so that you've a chance to think this through, at a distance, and be quite sure that you're willing to make such a sacrifice.'
âNo, Tommy. No! I'll feel exactly the same in one year, in ten years, in twenty years. Please don't do this to me. I can't bear it.'
She was trying so hard not to cry believing this to be a weapon women sometimes used unfairly to persuade men, but there was a decided tremor in her voice.
Again he was silent for a few moments before giving a response.
âAll right. I agree on one condition: that we talk this through with your parents. For me that's essential. You're their only daughter and I would be asking for your hand in marriage with this understanding.'
âYes, I agree to that, but I want to talk to them first.' She was smiling again.
âWell I can hardly say no to that!' He paused, looking at the beloved, sweet face and then continued. âBut I'm quite surprised that you haven't tried to persuade me to change my mind and take the risk of having a family on the grounds that the illness might not show up. The instinct to want children is so strong in most women, I feel sure many would have done that.'
âOh, Tommy, that would be
so
selfish! And what an appalling thing to do. To risk bringing someone into the world, who we might be condemning for life to such a serious illness, just because
I
want a child,
I
want the joy of motherhood â and I do, very much. Either boy or girl, the child could end up like your Uncle Bob. No! I couldn't do it.'
âYou really are a remarkable girl. I would love to take you in my arms and kiss you, but it's a bit too public here. Now let's do justice to these marvellous steaks and then go back to our hotel.' He grinned at her. âMidnight swim?'
âOh, you can swim can you, Tommy Butler?'
âWell, I can dog-paddle around.'
They laughed and the atmosphere relaxed. In the background “Smokey” and his wife Ellie, who always worked by his side, smiled in sympathy with the attractive young couple and, with the dish of local fruit they had requested, brought them glasses of Filfar, a Cyprus orange liqueur, “on the house”.
It was almost three years since Izzy's abduction and things at Riverside had moved forward at something of a breakneck speed. Mageen was now twenty-three. She had finished her degree and, in spite of her heartbreak, had pulled herself together with admirable determination and had done very well. From the day she had unburdened herself to Maggie, sitting on the riverbank, she had never again mentioned Freddie's name, not even when the verdict of his trial, the death penalty, was announced. It was later commuted to imprisonment for life with hard labour.
Both her parents were delighted, but especially Milo, when she opted for a career in stockbroking and joined the family firm. Through a business colleague, Milo had arranged for her to spend six months in London, working in the Stock Exchange. She thoroughly enjoyed the experience and rose to its challenge without being the slightest bit fazed. Her enthusiasm had been really fired, confirming for her that this was the career she wanted.
âI loved every minute of it, Dad. The excitement of being in there at the sharp end is fantastic. And London is such a vibrant and interesting place. I had a good time socially too.'
âYes, you mentioned that there were several of you who became good friends and went out together.'
âThat worked so well, with no one committed to anyone else, which suited me down to the ground. When it was time to come home I was quite torn. I wanted to stay longer but I missed home so much that in the end there was no real contest. Anyhow, there's nothing to stop me from going back there now and again for a kind of refresher course, is there?'
âNo, indeed. You know we wouldn't have tried to stop you if you had decided to stay and live in London, but Mum and I are delighted that you wanted to come home. We've missed you such a lot. I'm very impressed with some of the business ideas and practices you've brought back with you too. We'll look at introducing some of them here.'
âCan I be involved?'
âBut of course!'
âGreat!'
Milo smiled. He adored all of his children, each for different reasons. Mageen was his firstborn and he remembered so clearly the first time he held her in his arms: the sense of overwhelming joy and protectiveness that had surged through him. Then, too, she looked so like her mother in features and in the huge eyes, so dark they were almost black. The only difference was his beloved Noola had black curls whereas Mageen's glorious dark, chestnut hair came from his mother, Rachel.
Later that evening he and Noola were chatting about Mageen's experiences in London.
âJudging from what she said, she didn't form any sort of romantic attachment over there.'
âIt's obviously going to take a bit longer for her to trust anyone enough.'
âDo you think she ever will, Noola?'
âI hope so ⦠someday.'
* * * * *
Bill and Harry were now twenty, but one of the most dramatic developments during those intervening years had been that Bill, when it came to time to choose whether or not to go to university, had dropped something of a bombshell. The whole family regularly had holidays together. A visit at least once a year to their villa in Monte Carlo was a must and they all loved going to the beautiful old house in Oughterard, in County Galway, where Milo's grandparents had lived in their retirement. However, every year Milo made a point of taking the twins away with him for an all-male holiday. He felt this was important. It created an atmosphere of letting down of hair away from everyone else. Before Tommy had joined the RAF he was always included in this trip. Noola would do likewise with the girls and in each case the young people were allowed to choose the location. It was a very successful tactic.
When Bill and Harry had been in their final year in school, their parents had never been given any reason to doubt that they would go to Trinity together, following in the footsteps of their grandfather and his twin and then their father. In the year following Izzy's abduction, it was the long weekend in May and the boys had chosen Oughterard, where the salmon fishing was second to none, for their special time with Dad. Milo, whose antennae were finely tuned to his children's moods, however well disguised, realised that something was bothering Bill. Whatever it was he was absolutely certain that Harry knew about it. The boys were so close that, even if Bill hadn't confided in him, Harry would have been aware of his brother's anxiety. This was confirmed when, on the last day of their holiday, after their evening meal, Harry made a very thinly disguised excuse to go to one of the local pubs.
âLike to come with me anyone?'
âNot this evening, Harry.' Bill's reply was rather hasty and Milo realised that this had been agreed between them.
âDad?'
âNo thanks, Harry. I think I'll stay here with Bill and enjoy this lovely fire.'
Although it was May it was still cool in the evenings and a fire had been lit in the comfortable sitting room, creating an atmosphere conducive to intimacies. Milo poured drinks for them and then they sat for a while not saying very much.
âGame of chess?'
âEr â no thanks, Dad.'
By now Milo's imagination was running riot. What was wrong with the boy? Well whatever, he wasn't going to rush him. His biggest worry was that Bill had discovered he had some dreadful illness and didn't know how to tell him. Please, God, don't let it be that, he prayed. Anything but that!
âDad, there's something I need to discuss with you.'
âGo ahead, Bill.'
âWell I'm worried about it. I've made a decision about my career, but I'm so afraid that you'll be disappointed.'
Relief washed over Milo. It wasn't some awful terminal disease. Anything else he could cope with.
âBill, it's your life and the choice as to where or how you want to make your career is entirely up to you. Why on earth do you think I might be disappointed?'
âBecause it's far away from anything you might have hoped for. It will mean I won't be joining the family firm, making a career in stockbroking.'
âThat's perfectly all right. As I just said it's
your
life, the choice is yours.'
âBut you may not like it!'
âFor goodness' sake, Bill, what on earth are you trying to tell me? I can't imagine what you could choose that I wouldn't like!'
âI want to train to be a priest.'
Of all the things Milo might have imagined, that would not have been one of them. But, when he thought about it, perhaps it wasn't such a surprise. From the time they were old enough to think for themselves, all five children had been allowed to make their own decisions as to whether they followed their mother or their father in which church they went to. Bill and Sarah had chosen to go to the chapel with Noola and Maggie. Mageen, Harry and Izzy went with Milo, Tommy and Aunt May to the church in the nearby village, which had been attended by Butlers for generations. However, quite often the whole family went together to one or other. It was an unusual arrangement for the times and not an easy one for some, but was accepted by all concerned and outside interference was not tolerated. Bill had always had both respect and affection for old Father Callaghan and Milo knew they had often spent time together discussing religious issues, but Milo had never suspected that his son might be considering a career in the church. There was silence while Bill waited in trepidation and then his father voiced his thoughts.
âThat is a very brave decision and I suspect it hasn't been an easy one for you. I'm quite sure you've thought it through very carefully and probably discussed it with Father Callaghan, but are you fully aware of all that you will be sacrificing?'
Bill's relief was overwhelming.
âYes, Dad.'
âTruly? We Butlers tend to be a pretty virile lot. You'll be foregoing a happy married relationship, physical as well as emotional, and having children.'
âI know and I haven't rushed into the decision. I've agonised over it for a long time, going round and round the arguments for and against. You're right I've talked to Father Callaghan but I've also talked it through, over and over again, with Harry. He's been so patient â never got short-tempered with me for going on and on about it.'
âGood! I'm glad you could do that and good for Harry, but I would have expected no less, the two of you being so close. So you'll be applying to Maynooth?'
âYes.'
âWell at least it's only down the road so we will see you from time to time!'
âYes, of course. And, Dad, . . . thanks!'
âFor what, Billy Boy, for wanting you to be happy and follow your own inclination? God bless you and grant you happiness in your decision. It's such an important one.'
The floodgates opened. Bill, greatly to his relief, now felt free to talk to his father in depth and at length about his calling: his wish to dedicate his life to God's work. They talked on for a long time and Milo was impressed and proud of his son's courage of his convictions. He also realised that this was no sudden or spur of the moment decision. It
had
been thought through long and carefully, obviously agonised over as Bill had said.
When told to the rest of the family, this news was greeted with varying responses. Noola and Maggie were delighted, although they had the same concerns about the sacrifices Bill would be making. However, like Milo, they reckoned that it was Bill's life choice and he must be very aware of all that. Not so, down-to-earth, outspoken Mageen, who, having grown up with Tommy just a few years older and the twins three years younger, had no inhibitions in saying what she thought to them, even if about intimate topics.
âGood heavens, Billy, you mean a big husky fellow like you is choosing to go through the rest of your life without any sex. You must be mad! You'll never stick it.'
â
Mageen
,
really
! That's a most inappropriate comment to make. It's verging on being coarse.'
âNo it's not! For goodness' sake, Mum, he's my kid brother. We've said much worse things than that to each other.'
âWell I don't want to hear about them, thank you, and please reserve them for private conversations between you.'
Bill was trying so hard not to laugh but not succeeding.
âIt's okay, Mum. It's our Mageen just being herself. I'm not offended. And, Mageen, I've thought it all through very carefully indeed and my convictions are strong enough to make me willing to forego all that.'
âWell, good luck to you. I'm glad you've found something that you feel so strongly about but sad I'll never see you with children of your own.'
âThanks, but, after all, there are plenty of Butlers to keep the family name and business going.'
Quieter and somewhat more reserved than Mageen, Sarah was hugely impressed. She was very proud of her older brother and told him so.
* * * * *
By the summer of 1965 Bill was well into his studies and Harry was at university reading for a degree in maths and economics. He, like Mageen, wanted to make a career in stockbroking, much to Milo's relief and delight, for with two members of the family having this ambition, the future of the family firm was assured. Like his father and grandfather before him Harry was a great sportsman, with rowing his forte. He was a member of several rowing teams having his university colours in this sport. Bill was also maintaining his sporting prowess and with him too there was much emphasis on water sports.
Sarah, at nineteen and just a year younger than the twins, was also at university. She had opted to read for a degree in natural sciences and was especially keen on botany. She was fascinated by the orchid collection started by Grandpa Tom and was now working with Maggie to maintain and develop this. One unexpected aspect of her life at university was that, like her brother, she had joined Trinity Boat Club and was having as much success in the women's teams as was Harry in the men's. This was a first for the family and as her trophies joined those of generations of the Butler men in the library, so Milo's delight and pride in her grew. It was the icing on the cake of her academic successes. Tommy and her brothers were equally delighted and Uncle Paddy, who also had his colours for rowing, cheered her on and hoped his own daughter, Orla, would follow in Sarah's footsteps.
Izzy, now fourteen, attended a highly regarded independent girls' school in the city. Thanks to a huge level of support from those around her she had recovered well from her ordeal and now very rarely spoke of it. An unexpected legacy of her traumatic experience was that she had developed a remarkable resilience in coping with stress. Her musical talent had blossomed and, having won a number of prestigious awards, she was now becoming recognised locally as outstandingly gifted. A sparkling career in music seemed a certainty. Her other great love was horses and she was a highly competent horsewoman. This she had inherited from Milo's mother, Rachel, and he sometimes worried that Izzy might, like her, be killed or injured in an accident.
When the news came through of Tommy's engagement to Isabel a great wave of excitement rippled through the whole household at Riverside. Mageen, Sarah and Izzy had been invited to be bridesmaids, the fourth being a close friend of Isabel's from her schooldays. The wedding was to be in Cyprus.
âMum, why will it be out there?'
âWhy not, Izzy?'
âBecause I thought Tommy would want to get married here in Dublin with the reception beside the river. It would be so wonderful. We could have a great big marquee out on the lawn.'
âAh, but Isabel's parents live in Cyprus at the moment so she'll want to be married from her parents' home. That's the tradition anyhow.'
âThat means when I get married the wedding will be here?'
âCertainly.'
âGood! So we'll all be going to Cyprus in September?'