The Hungry Heart Fulfilled (The Hunger of the Heart Series Book 3) (37 page)

 

 

"And yes, I do
share your same
fears, but I haven’t given up hope about William. Not yet.
Maybe never. I
want to go home and find our
boy. I want to
be surrounded by
familiar things, the children, our friends, and I want to meet
my mother. We’ve
wasted so many years apart, that
I want to make the most of whatever time we have left
together. She's not going
to live forever, after all.”

 

 

“I know, it was
selfish of me to ask
you to stay,” Emer sighed, and hugged Dalton tightly. "And
selfish of me
to leave my own family behind to do this. I miss everyone so
much, Cathan and
my nieces and nephews. But I just have to see this through to
the end. It's a
God-sent opportunity to benefit so many, and I just have to
take it. To return
evil with good, just as the Bishop told me the night I
succumbed to the fever
on Grosse Ile."

 

 

He nodded. “I do understand, truly. But how long do
I have to live
without you, Emer? You
will come
home to me, won’t you? You’re
not
just trying to let me down gently, are you?

 

 

"Because I warn you
now, if I
thought for a moment that you were breaking things off between
us, I would hunt
the world over to find you and bring you back,” Dalton
threatened, before
kissing Emer until she was breathless.

 

 

When at last Dalton
lifted his lips,
Emer reassured him, “No, Dalton, I haven’t changed my mind
about us. This
is just something I need to do.
You have your duties and responsibilities to the fever
hospital and the
shipping company as well.
Give me
a year at the most, and when I'm sure I’m finished, and strong
enough to make
the long journey, then I shall
return to you, Dalton.”

 

 

“A year! Emer, please...”

 

 

“Six months, then,”
Emer amended
quickly.

 

 

“It will seem like
an eternity. I’ve
done without you so long, it’s
like denying food and drink to a starving man,” Dalton groaned
as he hugged
Emer to him, and his need pressed into the soft flesh of her
stomach.

 

 

Emer licked her
lips, which had
suddenly gone dry, and remarked softly, “You could delay your
departure a few days. We could go back to the hotel,” Emer
offered, misunderstanding
his words, and the throes of a burning need which matched his
own.

 

 

“That’s
not
what I mean, Emer
and you know it!  I just promised you I
would be patient, and I meant it. No, my love, more than your
exquisite body, I want what
we had on the
Pegasus
that first night
together. I want
you and I inseparable night and day, with no doubts or
dissension, and without
a million and one people demanding your attention all the
time,” Dalton
grumbled.

 

 

“Dalton, I always
had people needing
me, even on the
Pegasus
, don’t you remember?” Emer chided
softly.

 

 

His golden eyes blazed as he began to
pace in the
small cell. “Aye, but I always knew you were mine, that I came
first with
you. I don’t any
more, not if
you're staying here with Terence and O’Brien,” he couldn’t
resist pointing out
bitterly.

 

 

“Don’t be silly,
Dalton, I love
you. I always
have. But
remember ‘To Althea’? There
is duty too, even beyond love.
You’ve seen all the suffering with your
own eyes, Dalton. This
is now the
fourth year of famine in a row in Ireland. I can’t just leave, not
now.”

 

 

He threw himself
down on the narrow
bunk in exasperation. “God, I just don’t know any more, Emer. Every
time I find
you, I seem to lose
you again! I
just can’t bear to
let you out of my sight.
This
famine has been a terrible business.

 

 

"I admit it. I’m
frightened of
what might happen, and how much time we’ve wasted being
apart,” Dalton
confessed in an agonised whisper, pulling Emer close again.

 

 

She stroked back
his thick, lush
hair, once so black, now like spun silver. “It was terrible
your father lying
about my being dead, and then transporting me, but the time
hasn’t been wasted
if we’ve had fulfilling work to do.

 

 

"Please, Dalton,
the famine
brought us together. Let
me stay
now, to try to alleviate the suffering inside and outside
these prison walls,
and I promise you, if you won’t stay with me, then in June
I’ll come home.”

 

 

“I can’t stay. You
know why,” Dalton
said firmly, though Emer could see the effort it cost him.

 

 

“This is goodbye
again, then,” Emer
sighed.

 

 

“Come with me down
to Cork, at
least, to see me off?” Dalton asked.

 

 

She shook her head.
“I can’t,
Dalton, you know that. It’s
a long
journey, and they need me here. 
There’s so much to do. And the temptation for us both,
well--”

 

 

“I could delay my
voyage, so we
could spend a bit more intimate time together, but then it
would mean changing
all the arrangements, and the weather at the moment is too
good to let slip
past,” Dalton hesitated, suddenly desperate to stay with Emer
despite his
resolve.

 

 

“No, darling,
really, it was unfair
of me to ask you to stay. Forget I ever said it."

 

 

"But—"

 

 

"You should go,
darling, for
all the reasons you’ve just listed, Dalton. Please give my love to
Cathan and the
children, and everyone
else at home, and I’ll see you in the summer, Dalton,” Emer
promised, turning
her face up to his for a kiss.

 

 

“Perhaps I should
come with you to
the hotel, Emer, but....”
Dalton
trailed off as he found it hard to get the words out.

 

 

Their desire for
each other burned
brightly in their eyes, but then Dalton shook his head.

 

 

“No, I want you so
badly my knees
are trembling, but I can’t risk having you fall pregnant, not
now of all times,
and not until you're ready, Emer. You have all my love, you know
that. When you’re ready, and sure you want to
marry me and be my wife
in every way,
then
you come home. Is that clear?”

 

 

“I want that now, you know I do," she said tearfully,
cupping his cheek.
"I just need a bit more time to work out a few problems with my
life for
the people who are counting on me. I can’t let them down.”

 

 

“I love you.”
Dalton kissed Emer
passionately.

 

 

Emer’s soul rose up to meet his, and the
passion scorched so
keenly, they thought they would go on fire.

 

 

Both ached for the
sweetest release,
but now was not the time or place. There was a promise of
forever in their
kiss, if they just had the patience to wait a bit longer…

 

 

Dalton pulled away
for the kiss at
last with a groan. “I have to go, sweetheart, or I’ll miss my
ship,” Dalton
sighed against her thick hair, before adjusting his clothing
and then her own.

 

 

Emer smiled
tremulously. “This is
really goodbye then.”

 

 

“No, Emer, just
farewell for the
present.”

 

 

She finished
buttoning the top of
her gown when she saw how badly his hands were shaking. She
took one of them to
kiss it, and then smiled as she caught his surprised look.

 

 

"You used to do it
all the time
on the
Pegasus
,
even when I was cleaning out the privies."

 

 

"I'm glad you have
a whole bevy
of well-trained helpers to do it for you now, pet. Serves
Terence and O'Brien
right for getting to spend so much time with you," he added
playfully.

 

 

She grinned, and
took his arm.
"They may in the physical sense, but you know you're never out
of my heart
or thoughts, darling." She rested her other hand on her chest.
"You
or William."

 

 

"I know, love. I'll
try to subdue
my envy just a bit longer, until you come home."

 

 

"Thank you, my
dear. I'm just
sorry I didn't have the courage to tell you sooner—"

 

 

"No, pet, it’s my
fault. All
the warning signs were there. I just didn't want to read
them."

 

 

"So long as you
know how
grateful I am for your love and trust and understanding," she
said,
smiling up at him tearfully.

 

 

"Those are all the
gifts you've
given me. I could hardly do any less for my beloved, now could
I? Nor begrudge
anyone you giving them the same gifts, so long as you promise
you'll marry me
soon."

 

 

"I do, I do
promise."

 

 

He stooped to kiss
her. "Then
I'll do my own duty, and wait for you back home in Quebec. And
thank God every
day for your love, and the fact that you've finally developed
the last gift of
womanhood, sweet speech."

 

 

She giggled at that
reminder of the
legend of Emer, and threw her arms around his neck to kiss
him.

 

 

"I haven't heard
you laugh in
so long, my love. It suits you," he said against her ear as he
spun her
around until they were both breathless.

 

 

"It feels good,"
she said,
nodding. "Thank you."

 

 

"Glad to help."

 

 

"I love you so
much."

 

 

He grinned down at
her. "I
know. You don't even have to say it. I've always seen it in
your eyes. Yet at
last, I believe it. Feel worthy of it. And feel able to bestow
it in
return. And not
just to you, my
love, but our family, and friends. To my mother, and to our
son when I find
him."

 

 

"Amen to that."

 

 

Emer paused in the
prison gateway,
and stretched up to kiss him passionately one last time. He
caressed her cheek
for a moment as if memorising her face, and then got in to the
waiting carriage
with a sigh.

 

 

"I'll see you soon,
my dearest
love."

 

 

"Yes, Dalton, I promise. And 'If I have freedom in my love, And
in my soul am Free,
Angels alone that soar above, Enjoy such liberty.'"

 

 

He smiled as she quoted the poem to him. "
Au
revoir,
my angel."

 

 

"Goodbye, love!"
She
closed the door of his carriage, and continued waving at it
long after it had
vanished out of sight.

 

 

 

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

 

 

Once Dalton had
left, Emer went back
to her cell to gather up her small bundle of clothes. She
longed to follow
after Dalton, but something deep within her told her that this
was for the
best. That her work in Ireland was not quite finished yet.

 

 

She reassured
herself that she would
see him soon, and once she did, the two of them would share
the most heated
passion once again.

 

 

She went to the
hotel to rest for a
few hours and make herself presentable. As she soaked in the
tub, she recalled
the bath she and Dalton had shared together. How his hands had
whispered over
her body, massaged her scalp as he had washed her hair, and
caressed her…

 

 

Her face flamed,
and she felt
flooded with the most urgent desire. She was tempted to let
her hand slip down
in the tub to ease the edgy need her leave-taking of Dalton
had sent coursing
through her, but now was
not the
time, not when there was still so much awaiting her attention.

 

 

So she hauled
herself out of the tub
hastily, and not daring to linger as she dried herself off,
she got dressed
quickly, and
sought out the
Jenkinses to discuss all their plans for the day now that she
was staying,
before launching into her never-ending round of chores again.

 

 

Though Emer missed Dalton every day
and night that she was
separated from him, and longed for his heated kisses and
caresses, never once
did she doubt the wisdom of her course.

 

 

The prison farm,
set up along the
same lines as the orphanage, was a huge old eighteenth-century
building which
Emer had been able to buy cheaply.

 

 

After it had been
converted by local
carpenters into dormitories similar to those she had had in
Quebec, the young
offenders had been moved into the house from Clonmel prison on
New Year’s Day.
The three hundred and fifty inmates had first been scrubbed
clean and given new
warm clothes, and had then begun their reading and writing
lessons, and had a
turn in the carpentry and blacksmithing workshops.

 

 

The livestock they
had purchased was
as scrawny as the inmates, but Emer was convinced that three
meals a day for
all of them would build them up by the spring.

 

 

Given the headship
of the organising
committee, with the Clonmel prison governor Mr. Collins
visiting in the
evenings, and Charlie, Sam and Emily’s tireless help, Emer
balanced the books,
keep tabs on all the staff, established duty rosters, and
watched the inmates
slow progress from hopeless starvelings to skilled workers.

 

 

Emer spent a small
fortune buying
seed potatoes by the score, and also seed for vegetable and
grain, and waited
for the good spring weather to arrive with great impatience.