The Hunting Trip (44 page)

“Try this,” Ginger said. “There are six ballet dancers, three male, two of whom are really light on their feet, and one who is heavy. The other three dancers are females, all of whose hearts beat a little faster when they look at a handsome young man wearing tights who they know to be heavy on his feet. Am I getting through to you now, Precious?”

“I get the picture,” Phil said. “Doctor, do you have plans for Brunhilde should I sign the documents you have laid before me?”

“I intend to marry her, of course. And she will become vice director of the Corps de Ballet.”

“And how much did you say this was going to cost me?”

“Good question,” Ginger said.

“Brunhilde wants nothing but her freedom,” Dr. Pfefferkopf said. “But I think it would be a nice gesture on your part to contribute to the support of Franz Josef—”

“So long,” Ginger interrupted, “as he doesn't get too carried away with the dancers, the female dancers, my fiancé will assume full responsibility for all of his son's expenses.”

Dr. Pfefferkopf nodded. “And as we know that Brunhilde has expensive tastes, I thought perhaps a small settlement would be appropriate.”

“How small?” Ginger asked.

“How does a million dollars sound?”

“Done,” Ginger said. “Sign where the nice man shows you, Precious, while I go find my
checkbook.”

Frau Brunhilde Wienerwald Pfefferkopf is now vice director of the Corps de Ballet of the Vienna State Opera.

Randolph C. Bruce, after losing several lawsuits against him for alienation of affections, breach of promise, and income tax evasion, was reported to be in discussions with the Reverend Paul Twinings, S.J., D.D., Ph.D., concerning his becoming a member of the Roman Catholic Church and ultimately joining the Trappist Monastery at Gethsemane, Kentucky.

Mrs. Rachel Lipshutz arranged a truce between the Ladies of The Tuesday Luncheon Club and the Dames of Runnymede that provided that on their return to Muddiebay, a joint press release would be issued to
The Muddiebay Register-Press
newspaper saying that both groups had been royally entertained at Castle Abercrombie in Scotland, and making no mention of anybody being kissed anywhere by anybody.

Mrs. Lipshutz was elected by a unanimous vote to be president of The Tuesday Luncheon Club, vice Mrs. Carol-Anne Crandall, who resigned after Mr. Homer C. Crandall announced his intention to sue for divorce charging gross infidelity by his wife.

Shortly after their divorce became final, Mr. Crandall married Bobbie-Sue Smith, the stockbroker's wife, who had divorced her husband after he and Amos Frathingham had gone to New Orleans and opened Amos & Ferdie's Fine Feathered Flowers in the French Quarter.

The New York Times
settled out of court a suit brought by Mrs. Charles (Magda) Whaley charging libel and defamation of character for a series of stories alleging the former Hungarian countess, now proprietor of Magda's Previously Owned Motor Cars in Louisville, Kentucky, was actually a CIA contractor paid millions of dollars by the intelligence agency to corrupt Russian military officers using “a stable” of former ballet dancers and trapeze artists. Although the settlement agreement had a “nondisclosure” provision, it is generally believed that “Madame Magda” received upward of several million dollars.

Miss Virginia Gallagher and Mr. Philip Wallingford Williams III were united in marriage by the Right Reverend Philip Moboko, presiding bishop of the Protestant Episcopal Church in the People's Democratic Republic of Chongo (PECC) a week after the Austrian Supreme Court, by unanimous decision, dissolved Mr. Williams's previous marriage.

The ceremony took place in the Holy Trinity Cathedral in Obangoville, Chongo's capital. Distinguished guests included Generalissimo and President for Life Sir Montague Obango and five of his six
wives; the Earl and Countess of Abercrombie; Dr. Jonathan Caldwell III, former director of the CIA, and Mrs. Caldwell; Chauncey S. “Steel” Hymen, vice president, publisher, and editor in chief of J. K. Perkins & Brothers, Publishers since 1812; and Boris “Tightly” Held, who had become the J. K. Perkins “Money Man” after David Gobbet had shot himself in the foot during a fast draw contest and had to retire.

The ceremony had a military flair, as the bridegroom wore the uniform of Honorary Colonel of the Republic of Chongo's Regiment of Light Lancers, to which post he had been named by Generalissimo and President for Life Sir Montague Obango for his contribution to the close combat training of the regiment.

Following the ceremony and a wedding trip to Uruguay, the newly married couple established residence in the U.S. Virgin Islands.

Several months later, Franz Josef Williams, stating he was not up to the stress involved in being, as he phrased it, “the only straight arrow in the quiver; one man just can't handle sixty-two sex-starved teenaged ballerinas,” resigned from the Vienna Corps de Ballet and returned to Foggy Point, where he became Chief Lifeguard at the Grand Hotel.

He lived, of course, in his childhood home at 102 Country Club Road. He was soon joined there by his brother, Philip Wallingford Williams IV, who resigned his position as food critic for
The
Dallas Afternoon Gazette
in order to follow in his father's footsteps as a novelist.

When, eighteen months later, his first novel was published by J. K. Perkins & Brothers, Publishers since 1812, the
New York Times
review said, in part:

“The best thing that can be said about this work is that it's not as bad as what we have come to expect from the author's
father.”

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