The Imposter (31 page)

“Is there anything
else?” I asked trying to remain composed when every muscle fiber in my body
wanted to bolt from the room.

“Aye, a letter
from yer father came with the messenger today,” he said reaching inside of his
desk drawer and drawing out a well-worn letter.

The seal had been
broken, evidence of Collin trying to exert his power.  Collin wanted to be
aware of all communications coming into the McClain castle, never knowing what
information might be of use against someone at a later date.

“Ye may want tae
write him back.  Yer family seems worrit about ye and they’re wondering why ye
have no taken the time tae write before now,” he said, eyes studying me
intensely, clearly wondering the same thing.  “Mayhap ye have been sae taken up
with entertaining the needs of my brother that ye havena had the time,” he
goaded, openly disapproving of the happiness that Devon and I had found in a
marriage that he had intended to be an inconvenience.

“I’ll do that,” I
said, ignoring the bait that he was offering.  I took the letter, and walked
purposefully from the room.

The letter felt
like a poison in my hand.  I had never thought that mere words had the
potential to be so deadly. 

I walked directly
back to our chambers, closed the door quietly behind me and slid the deadbolt
into place.  I leaned back against the massive wooden door and lifted the seal
on the letter, fingers trembling so much that I almost dropped it.  I said a
small prayer and then forced my eyes down to read the paper, heart hammering in
my ears.

“Dearest
Catherine,” it said.

My heart nearly
stopped and my breath came out in a disbelieving shudder.  I dropped the letter
to the flagstone floor and I crumpled to the floor with it.  I had guessed
wrong.  She spelled Catherine with a “C.”

I’m ruined!  Exposed. 
It’s over…

            It
would now be only a matter of weeks before I was exposed as a fraud, exposed as
the imposter that I was.  The world that I had tentatively built with Devon was
coming crashing down around me.  I knew that I could not live under the rouse
of an assumed identity forever, but I had hoped to have just a little more
time.  I allowed myself to fall apart and I cried for both Catherine and
myself.  I cried for the life that I had lost and I cried for the new life that
I had built, knowing that it was built on lies that were about to unravel at
the seams.

 I cried because I
was about to hurt the man that I loved despite having the best of intentions. 

I have to tell
him.

 Chapter
Nineteen

“What!” he exclaimed. 
“Ye ken about the Kama Sutra?” Shock was evident on his face.  His eyes were
wide.  “
Ye
know what it is?” he questioned, looking at me in disbelief,
mouth hanging open, anticipating my reply.

“I’ve heard of it,
I mean… I know what it is about,” I said, suddenly embarrassed.        “How did
you hear of it?” he questioned, eyes inquisitive as he placed the heat back on
me.

 I rose from the
floor and settled myself on his lap in the huge char.  I tucked my heels up
under my bottom and reached up to massage the back of his neck.

“You know how I
told you about MacAllister, the man that my father had wanted me to marry?”

“Yes, how could I
forget the bastard?” Devon said, tensing beneath me.

“He sent it to me
as a betrothal gift,” I said, face flushing with color as I remembered opening
the package.  I had always loved to read and initially I was overjoyed to have
a book of my own.  And then, I opened the cover and saw the pictures.  “When I
opened it and I saw what it was about, I threw it into the fire,” I said
quietly, remembering the sickening feeling that had overtaken me as I
understood the true meaning of MacAllister’s gift.

“A betrothal gift! 
What a disgusting man,” Devon seethed, imagining what audacity it had taken for
the old man to send such a manual to his bride-to-be.

“How do
you
know of it?” I asked, intrigued.

“Well, my Da sent
me to France when I was sixteen.  For boarding school, ye ken.  It’s pretty
normal for the second son to go away to learn the art of war and the French are
known the world around for their crafty war tactics. Aye, that feels good,” he
said in reference to my hand working the tension out of his neck.

I couldn’t imagine
what a journey this must have been for Devon.  France must have seemed a world
away from all that he had known.

“I’ll not lie tae
ye, Kate.  Ye ken that I’ve bedded women before ye and that’s where I learned
of the Kama Sutra.  It was no but a means to satisfy the needs of the flesh,
the needs of a boy.  They meant nothing tae me, Kate,” he said, lifting my chin
and forcing my eyes to meet his steely gaze.

I hated the thought
of him being with other women and I quickly looked away. 

“Look at me,
Kate,” he demanded, again using his forefinger under my chin to force my eyes
to meet his.  “They meant nothing tae me.  They meant nothing tae me, and you
mean everything,” his green eyes were intense, sincere.  “You are everything
tae me.  Until I had you, I lived only for myself.  I had no fear in battle. 
Now, I live for ye, for the fact that I must stay alive for the sole purpose of
loving and protecting ye.”

His lips settled
on mine in a kiss, strong yet sweet, professing his commitment to me.  “I need
ye, Kate.  I want ye.  I’ve never gone tae battle afraid, but now I ken what
fear feels like, heavy in the pit of my stomach, always in the back of my
mind.  The fear that I willna be strong enough tae fight, tae return to ye. 
I’ve never been afraid before, Kate, but now I’m terrified of leaving ye,” he
confessed, shaken by what he clearly perceived as weakness.

“You will always
return to me, Devon.  I know it.  You are strong, the leader of your men.  I
know that you will always return to me,” I said firmly, unshaken with my
confidence in this man.

“Kate, I’m afraid
I must go away again soon,” he said sternly.

“The Camerons?” I
asked, knowing what his answer would be.

“Aye, I’m sorry. 
I hate tae leave ye, but it is my duty tae the clan.”

“Thank you for
telling me.” I feigned a smile and stroked the hair at the base of his neck. “When?”
I asked, fear beginning to settle in the pit of my stomach.  Last time Devon
left me he had nearly been killed.

“I leaned the hard
way about keeping things from ye,” he smiled, rolling over the memory of my
anger at his omission that he would be leaving for battle last time that he left
me.  “Soon.  We’ll leave within the next few days.”

I placed my hand
on his face and drew him towards me for a kiss.  It was hard to bear the
thought of him leaving again, fearing the prospect that he might not return. 
It wasn’t as if he was leaving for a friendly visit.  He was leaving for war. 
He was leaving to fight a battle with enemies that were intent upon killing him. 
He was our Clan’s war- chief and as such was a major target in any battle. 

I surrendered
myself to his kiss, enjoying the intensity of his mouth on mine.  It was clear
that he needed my reassurance as much as I needed his.  His lips slanted over
mine hungrily, tongue probing and demanding.  I relished the scratch of his
day’s growth of beard on my face, masculine and sexy. 

His hand was up my
skirt, on my thigh, moving towards the heat of my desire for him.  I had
intentionally omitted undergarments today and his fingers quickly found what
they were looking for.

“Katie, yer as
slick as seaweed, wet with the wanting,” he groaned as his fingers met the
wetness between my thighs. 

“You have a way of
doing that to me, husband,” I smiled into his hair as he placed kisses on my
neck.

He bit my earlobe
and rose up on his elbows to meet my eyes.  “You drive me to madness, Kate.  I’ll
not claim to be a saint.  Ye ken that I’ve been with others before ye.  But
never, never have I had a response to a woman like I have to ye.  And never
have I had a woman respond to me as ye do.  The way yer body reacts to mine
drives me to insanity.   I could take ye again and again, never getting my
fill.  The best part is that yer mine.”

“I don’t like
thinking of you being with other women.” I said bluntly.

“Never again,” he
vowed.  “How could I want another when I have this?  This love that I share
with ye.  I am mad with the wanting of ye, Kate.  Not just the wanting of
joining with yer body, but with the wanting tae be with ye.  Tae talk to ye,
and to hold ye,” he looked into my eyes with an intensity that broke my heart. 
“I love ye, Kate,” he whispered.

“I love you too,”
I smiled, meaning every word, but feeling a pang of guilt about not being
truthful about my identity with this man that I loved so much.  I knew that it
would kill him when he found out and he was going to find out soon.  I needed
to find a way to tell him, to confess my lies.

“I love ye sae
much that it pains me, a chuisle mo chroi,” he said, stroking the hair away
from my face.  “I’ve never been worrit about going away to battle, but now,
now…” he sighed, trailing off.  “Now that I have ye depending on me, I have
someone that I need tae live for.  Part of what made me sae fearless in battle
was the fact that I only had me tae worry about.  It didn’t matter if I was
killed as long as the clan was all right.  Now it matters.”

I reached up and
kissed the worry from his lips. 

“Damn right it
matters.  I know that you will return safely to me, Devon, I don’t doubt it for
even a second.”

“Do ye ken that I
felt it from the moment that I first saw ye before the fire in the great hall
when ye were wielding that wee needle?” he smiled, fingers tracing the line of
my breasts as they rose and fell at the top of my gown.  “Even then I felt it,
the connection that we have.  I was scared to death when Collin decided that we
were to wed.  Scared because I wanted ye sae badly, but I knew that having ye
as my wife would make me vulnerable to my enemies.  Vulnerable because I have
never had something, someone that they could use tae harm me with.  I’m just worrit
that Collin will see how much ye mean to me and use it against me.  If harm
came to ye, it would kill me, Kate.”

“Take me with you,
then.”

“Ye ken that I canna,
lass.  I’ll be worrit about ye enough as it is.  I canna be worrit about where
ye are during the battle.  I can’t afford to be preoccupied, or I might return
to ye missing a few important parts.”

“Take me with you
and I’ll trail behind, I’ll hide in the forest.”

“I’ll not risk
it.  War is something that I’ll not willingly expose ye to.  I’ll feel much
better leaving ye in Nathan’s care.”

“I’m just worried
about staying here without you,” I confessed.  “I see the way that Collin
watches me, watches us constantly, and it worries me.”

“Collin kens that
if he sae much as touches ye, I’ll kill him.  Brother or no,” he said
defiantly.  “I don’t think he’s brave enough tae make a move against me, but
he’s as slippery as a snake in the grass and that’s why I’m leaving Nathan and
a few others behind tae make sure yer protected.”

We passed a moment
in silence, churning over our thoughts about his imminent departure, and the
conditions that I would face remaining behind at the keep.

“Make love tae me,
Kate.  Restore my strength and give me a reminder of what I’m fighting for,” he
said smiling in a most devilish way as his fingers began stroking the wetness
between my thighs.

I answered his
request with a kiss, prodding him on with my mouth, expressing that I needed
the fulfillment of his body too. I clung to him, relishing to strength of his
muscles beneath me, supporting me as he gently tormented me with his fingers
beneath my dress. I raked his back with my nails, marking his body as mine as
he kissed my neck and slowly removed his fingers from between my thighs.

“I need ye, lass. 
I canna be gentle,” he warned, pushing me up into a standing position.  He stood
from the chair and removed his shirt and kilt, now standing completely naked in
front of the fire.  My eyes scanned his body; he was beautiful in the
firelight.

“Don’t then,” I
challenged, pressing myself against him to meet his need.  The fabric of my dress
was constraining and I longed to have my skin exposed so that I could feel him
against the length of my body.  “Unlace me,” I demanded, turning my back to
him, pressing my bottom against him in a way that I knew drove him mad.

His fingers quickly
undid the laces of my dress and he slid it slowly down my body, running his
fingers across my breasts and belly as the gown cascaded into a pool of cloth
at our feet.  His skin felt so warm against mine.  I pressed against him as he
wrapped me in his arms.  I cradled his erection with my bottom and let my head
fall back against his shoulder as he brought goosebumps out on my skin by
running his fingers ever so lightly over my naked breasts.

“Mmmm….ye feel sae
good against my skin.  Sae soft and warm,” he said, as if reading my mind.

I wanted to
worship his body as he had worshiped mine.

 I turned in his
arms and slowly slid my hands down his chest as I knelt on the floor in front
of him.  My eyes flashed up to his in question, seeking permission to touch him
so intimately.

His mouth was
open, his eyes wild with passion as he guessed what I was about to do.  He gave
me the slightest nod of invitation and I bit my lower lip in anticipation,
wondering just how I should start.

My fingers circled
his cock and he let out a gasp as I opened my mouth and slowly licked the tip
of his arousal.