The Impostor, A Love Story (40 page)

I have to survive for my angel. I have to
survive for my daughter. I can do this.
Her big blue eyes gave
me strength. The adrenaline spread throughout my body, concealing
the pain for a moment.

My mom can do anything
. Jess had more
faith in me than I had in myself.

Grabbing Brad’s knife from my purse, I cut
the seatbelt free. I discovered the broken window in the back seat.
Pushing the broken glass out of the way, I slithered out of the
opening. Every limb hurt. I wanted to collapse. Almost ready to
give up, Jessica’s voice interrupted me.

“Mommy, sometimes do people have
secrets?”

The hair on my body curled as I remembered
the footsteps creaking down the stairs at midnight. He was going to
hurt my angel. This monster was going to hurt my angel.

Steve came closer and closer down the
mountain. The dagger in his hands reflected the moonlight to reveal
his position.

I can do this. I can survive
. I
scanned the woods, finding a spot in the darkness concealed by
brush. I staggered towards it, my broken bones stabbing me as I
made my way. I waited silently in the cold. From the gaps in the
brush, I watched him make his way closer to the car.
Be silent,
Nicole. Be silent
.

“You stupid bitch!” He inspected the car,
expecting me to be there. “Where are you, you stupid whore?” I
stayed motionless. The dagger glistened in the moonlight. The ax
was hanging out of a pack on his back. It was so cold, my body so
weak.

If I could stay here in this little bush for
long enough, perhaps he would give up the quest before I froze to
death. I wanted to kill him. I held tight to the knife, but I knew
I didn’t have the strength. My only hope of survival was to not be
detected.

“Where are you, Nicole? You think you are so
smart, don’t you? You think you are smarter than me, do you? I’ll
find you, you little whore. I will find you and slice you up just
like Alan.” He was footsteps away from my burrow.

“It could have been different. It could have
been different for us. But you’re a whore. You and your Dylan
laughing in my house. That is when I knew. That is when I knew you
were a little whore just like the others, and I had to get rid of
you. I had to give you what you deserved. I’m going to give it to
you, Nicole—just like you want it, you nasty girl. Come on, little
bitch. I’ll show you, you don’t laugh at me.”

The intense pain of my body was almost too
much to bear. I couldn’t let my breath give me away. My body
trembled. Before I knew it, as if in a frenzy, he threw back the
branches of the bush and grabbed my feet, dragging me out of my
refuge.

The icy ground tore my clothing as he dragged
me over it. I began kicking hysterically to try and break away from
his grasp. He let go of my feet, grabbed the knife from my hand and
slashed my arm as I tried to protect myself.

I staggered up. Frantic, I ran through the
woods, branches whipping my face. The snow slowed my injured stride
even more; however, I pressed forward, dodging trees and hurdling
stumps in my way.

He was faster than I was, and soon overtook
me. Knocking me down with a tree branch, he battered my body even
more
. I have to get up. I have to run.
Staggering up, I
attempted another escape. He smashed me down with the limb. I fell
to the ground, defeated. Daggers seemed to stab me as the cold and
my broken collar bone pierced my body.

I wuv you, Mommy. I don’t want you to
go
! I heard my Angel’s voice. I could not give up.

“You little whore, thought you could escape
me?” Steve glared at me. Lying next to my body was a large stone.
My body could barely move, but I had to run. I had to get away.

My limp arm reached for the rock. It was so
heavy.
I can do this.
I lifted it in my hand and waited. He
came closer, leaning over my body. With all of my strength, I
smashed the small bolder against the side of his head. He fell. I
scrambled to my feet somehow, running hysterically through the
woods again.

“You little slut. You are going to die now.”
He caught me again. He grabbed my body and threw me against a tree.
I grasped a limb I had found on the ground. I smashed it against
him, but he grabbed it, overpowering me, and drove it into my ribs.
Bashing my face with his fist, I finally fell, broken. Too weak to
move, I panted—every ounce of me defeated.

In horror, I lay there as he used the knife
to slice open my coat. He tore open my shirt, his sinister eyes
pleased as I lay there vulnerable. The blade traced my body, I
screeched, the surface cuts to my skin excited him—his foreplay. My
body felt conquered, disgusted by his touch. He then proceeded to
slice open my bra, letting my useless clothes fall away from my
body. His excitement grew.

The cold snow bit my skin. Throbbing pain
pulsed through my body. I lay there as he cut my jeans off me,
tracing my legs with the blade. As the blood slowly left my body, I
grew weaker and weaker—my limbs broken, my body crippled, my mind
defeated.

“I know you like it, Nicole. I know it’s
really me you wanted.” The blood from my naked body stained the
virgin snow. “You little whore; you are now
my
little
whore.” He started fumbling with his pants.

God, let me die. Let me die. Let me die
before he takes me. I would rather die than have him enter me.
Please let me die.
I was too weak to fight back, too weak to
run, too weak to move. I couldn’t let his vulgar body touch mine.
There had to be something I could do.

The knife . . . I can take my own
life.
The knife had been placed on the ground as he unzipped
his pants. I was so weak. I tried to muster up enough strength to
grab it. When he noticed what I was reaching for, he slapped my
face, smashing it against the cold damp snow. He put the dagger
back in his coat.

“You bitch.” He exposed his vulgar body and
began to push himself on top of me. I couldn’t scream. I couldn’t
move.

Out of the darkness, a figure appeared. It
was an angel—an angel in the moonlight. He grabbed Steve before
Steve could penetrate, lifted him, and threw him to the ground.

Steve arose furious, pulled up his pants, and
grabbed a branch. He charged my guardian angel. The figure fought
back. He smashed Steve to the ground again and grabbed a tree
branch and thrust it against Steve hard enough to shatter his
bones. Somehow, Steve made it back to his feet.

The moonlight captured the face of my angel.
It was Bradley.
Was this another dream
? It was much too
painful to be a dream. My hands touched my body. I brought them to
my face, quivering, covered in blood.

Steve grabbed the ax from his bag and slashed
at Bradley’s body, drawing blood. The branch in Bradley’s hand did
little to protect him as the monster dismantled the tree limb. Brad
was losing; he was going to die. My body was broken. Blood drenched
the snow beneath me, but I had to distract Steve. I had to somehow
distract Steve so that Bradley could run.

I anchored myself on a tree, pulling my
lifeless body to my feet.
Agonizing. Burning. Pain
.

Brad was rolling on the ground as Steve
frantically thrashed at his body with the ax. Wobbling, I almost
fell but held myself up with what little strength I had.

The ax continued to crash down and Bradley
managed to escape the blade’s edge until he got trapped next to a
fallen tree. There was nowhere to roll, nowhere to escape. Bradley
was going to die, and this monster would soon come back to rape me,
leaving our
mutilate
d bodies next to each other in the
snow.

I screamed. Only a whisper left my lips. I
tried to scream again, just a soft murmur escaped. As Steve lifted
the ax to decapitate Bradley, I finally shrieked, startling
him.

As Steve turned to me, Bradley was able to
jump up and try to grab the ax. The struggle was violent as they
wrestled over the weapon. Steve realized he wasn’t going to win. He
broke free of the struggle and turned toward me.

He couldn’t bear to see me standing there
alive. I had survived. I had survived, and although I could not
move or take a step, I was standing. He stuck his hand in his coat
and again pulled out the dagger. As if in slow motion, he threw the
knife towards my body—too weak to move—too weak to dodge its
destruction.

I could see the glimmer of the blade as it
sliced through the air aimed at my heart. As the knife hit my
chest, I could hear Bradley’s scream echo through the mountainside
as Steve ran off into the woods.

The pain so sharp, so excruciating, I
screamed. I could hear sirens. I could hear the dogs. I could see
the flashlights. My body convulsed as if in slow motion, falling
back to the snow.

Brad ran over to my lifeless body, bawling.
He had survived. He was alive. My bloodstained hands were stained
with my own blood and not his. He was alive, yet I could feel death
come upon me.

Unbearable pain overwhelmed me. I had tried,
but I couldn’t hold on.
The Throbbing. The Aching
.
Every
limb fatigued with pain
. As the blood left my body, I grew
powerless. I tried to tell him. I tried to tell him, but the life
left my body before I could. The pounding in my heart—silent. I
couldn’t even say goodbye. A sadness overwhelmed me as I took my
last breath.

* * *

She lay there, motionless—her naked body
framed by the scarlet snow. He held her limp body and screamed as
if his voice would return her to him. He ran his hands over the
hair that cascaded down her battered face. The moonlight
illuminated the white snow that had been tainted by her
blood—almost creating a glow around her. Bradley caressed her
assaulted face, almost unrecognizable.

“
I’m so sorry, Nicole. I am so sorry.” He
held her close to him as his tears fell upon her. He heard the
sirens; he heard the dogs; he had to bring her to safety. They had
to save her. There was no heartbeat; there was no breath. No life
remained—her essence defeated. As he picked her naked body up from
the snow, her blood stained him. He left the blade in her
heart—afraid that if he released it, her blood would cascade
through the open wound. He carried her toward the light.

* * *

I felt weightless. The throbbing pain and the
frigid cold were replaced by peace. I arose, elevated as if an
angel, high among the trees. I could see my body lying below with
Bradley weeping over my corpse. The moonlight illuminated the two
of us. I could see the purity of the white glistening snow and the
scarlet blood that surrounded me. In slow motion, I witnessed
Bradley’s tears as if crystals catching the reflections of light as
they fell, gently kissing my naked skin. He took off his coat. He
lifted me in it, cocooned in his warmth.

The flashlights soon found our little
sanctuary in the moonlight as Bradley carried me to safety. He
didn’t realize I was dead. I was already safe. I was free of
pain.

“You have to save her. You have to,” he
begged the paramedic.

“She has lost so much blood. I don’t know if
she will survive.”

“You have to. YOU HAVE TO!” He grew
hysterical.

“You can’t come in this ambulance.”

“I won’t leave her. I can’t leave her.”

There was no pulse. They pulled out the
defibrillator. “Ready?” They nodded. “Go.” They tried to restart my
heart.

Didn’t they know I was already gone?

“You can’t let her die. You can’t let her
die!” he pleaded, the tears pouring down his cheeks.

“Sir, you need to come with us.” They tried
to get him to lie on the gurney, but he fought them off, running
back over to me.

“Promise me, promise me you will save her,”
he pleaded, tears flowing unheeded down his face.

“We’re doing everything we can.”

“Please, I’m begging you. I am begging
you.”

“I can’t let you in this ambulance.”

“She has a daughter,” he cried, “a little
girl who needs her. You can’t let her die.”

My little girl. My angel. I could see her
innocent blue eyes looking up at me.

“Mommy, don’t go.” The line traveled in a
chaotic rhythm across the machine, showing I had no heartbeat,
proving I had died. They pulled out the paddles again, shocking my
heart.

“
Don’t go, Mommy. Mommy, don’t
go.”

Again, they pressed the paddles onto my
chest.

“
Mommy, please don’t leave me. Mommy, you
can’t leave me.”

An overwhelming sorrow
entered my body. I could hear my little angel. She looked at me
with hopeful eyes and her little pouty lip. I had left her
orphaned. I needed to be strong. I needed to survive. I couldn’t
let her down. They pressed the electronic shock against my chest
once more.

The utter sense of peace I was feeling as a
spectator was quickly stripped away. A pulsating pain entered my
mind and shot through my body. The horizontal line began to
pulsate.

“She is alive. She is alive.” Then everything
went black.

Nicole’s lifeless body lay on the hospital
bed.

“She may never recover,” the doctor began.
“She’s lost a great deal of blood, and we don’t know how long her
heart was stopped. She may not come out of this state.”

“There has got to be hope. She has to
survive,” Brad replied.

“If she does, she may not be the person you
remember. Right now, the only thing keeping her alive is life
support.” The doctor stared at the machine connected to her body.
“As her fiancé, you need to begin to think of the options. As an
organ donor, she could potentially help people who have a chance to
survive.”

“I am not taking her off life support.” Brad
sounded extremely upset at the suggestion.