The India Fan (53 page)

It was ridiculous, I knew flight of fancy. Perhaps I had been too long in India, where mysticism seemed to flourish more than it could in the prosaic air of England. No blame could attach to me. I had not destroyed it. Polly had done that for me and she had never owned it, so it could not involve her. I closed my eyes and could see those beautiful blue feathers curling up in the flames. It was ridiculously fanciful. I had allowed the fan to take hold of my imagination: subconsciously I had endowed it with magical qualities and so it had seemed to influence my life.

But no more. I felt free. I wanted to live every moment ahead of me to the full. There would be difficulties to face. I could leave those for the future and live in this moment this wonderful moment with the joy of loving and being loved.

Fabian and I sat in the gardens opposite the house and talked.

He said suddenly, here is the question of the child.

hey will never give her up,I told him.

he can stay in this place.

abian, you can use people when they are useful and when you think they have served their purpose cast them aside.

have an idea. They should bring her down to Framling.

olly and Eff!

his is what I think. There are a couple of vacant houses on the estate. They could have one of these and the child would be there near Framling. She could live between the two houses for a while. Then the time will come when she will go away to school. And she can think of both the house with those two in it and Framling as her home.

hey have their houses. They wouldn want to go to the country.

hey want what was best for Fleur, and they be near you. I think they could be persuaded and you are the one to persuade.

am not sure they will accept it or even consider it.

oul do it. Youl persuade them.

hey are independent.

hey own that house, don they? They could sell it and buy this place.

hat about the price?

t could be anything that fitted. They could have the place for nothing.

hey would never accept that. They call it being beholden.

hen let them buy it at whatever price will fit. It quite simple.

ou don know Polly and Eff.

o, but I know you and I am sure you can make it work out.

I talked to Polly first.

ell, I never!she said. ive up this house. Take the one theye got empty. We want no charity from them.

t wouldn be charity. You be absolutely independent of them. You could sell this house and buy the other with the proceeds.

ot on your life.

ou be near me, Polly. That would be lovely.

She nodded.

nd Fleur would have all that the Framlings could give her.

know that. It worried me at times. Ie talked to Eff.

ou gave her a home when she needed it. You gave her love. That was wonderful, Polly. But she will have to go to school. Framling will be a good background.

ou don think Eff and me haven thought of that.

hy not speak to Eff?

Polly was weighing the advantages. Most certainly she and Eff wanted the best for Fleur. It was more important to them than anything; and I could see Polly was liking the idea of being near me. She was thinking I might need a bit of advice, married to that one.

She was wavering. Eff had said she was getting tired of some of the tenants. She had had a lot of trouble with Second Floor No. 28.

I said, olly, it would be wonderful for me.

l speak to Eff,said Polly. he won, though.

ou might persuade her.

h, I know she wants the best for Fleur, and I can see it would be a bit different there than here

hink about it, Polly seriously.

Later I said to Fabian, think it might work.

Fabian and I travelled back to Framling together. I was bracing myself for facing Lady Harriet.

I was amazed at how graciously she received me. There was a difference in her attitude. I had left the house as the governess to her grandchildren; I returned as the fiancee of her beloved son.

I wondered if she were asking herself what Fabian was doing, throwing himself away on the plain girl from the rectoryarticularly when her choice had fallen on someone else.

I remembered that long-ago incident when he had brought me as a baby to his house and proclaimed that I was his child. Lady Harriet had insisted that her son whim should be gratified. Now perhaps it was a similar situation.

Smiling, she discussed the wedding.

here is no point in delay,she said. have thought for long, Fabian, that it was time you were married. You can be married from here, Drusilla, that would be quite irregular. Brides should not be living under the same roofs as their bridegrooms the day before their marriages. So you can go to the rectory. That will be the most appropriate, because it was your old home. It a pity Colin Brady can give you away. He would have been the best person for that. But he will have to officiate in the church so it will have to be the doctor. That will be an excellent alternative, as his daughter is at the rectory now. The next best thing to Colin Brady himself.

Lady Geraldine was mentioned only once. nice girl a little too fond of riding. She spent most of the day in the saddle. I believe that broadens the figure and can mean a lack of other interests.

She gave no hint that she was disappointed. Here was a new side to Lady Harriet. Her love for her son went as deep as did that she had for Lavinia and perhaps deeper, for Fabian was perfect in her eyes. The fact that she rarely mentioned her daughter did not mean that she had forgotten her. She often went to Lavinia old room and stayed there for a long time and she would be noticeably subdued when she emerged. As for Fabian, he could do no wrong in her eyes. He was her son and therefore the perfect man. Fabian had chosen me and, because I was his choice, miraculously I had become hers.

I could not believe in such a volte-face until I began to understand Lady Harriet. She must, of course, always be right, so wisely she promptly adjusted her views to the inevitable and made herself believe that it was what she had wanted all the time. I felt warmer towards her because we both loved the same person and he was more important than any other to us. She recognized this and it made an instant bond between us.

History did seem to be repeating itself. I overheard a conversation and shamelessly I listened, as I had on another occasion.

It was in this very garden that I had overheard her remark that I was the plain child from the rectory. It had affected me more deeply than I had realized at the time.

Lady Harriet was in the drawing room with the doctor and his wife. The doctor was receiving his instructions, as he had been chosen by her to play his part at the ceremony.

Her voice, resonant and authoritative, floated out to me.

had always meant Drusilla for Fabian and I am so happy that it has all turned out as I planned. She is so good with the children and such a sensible girl.

The sun was shining on the pool; the water lilies were enchanting. A white butterfly paused and alighted on one of them. It rested a moment and was gone.

I was happier than I had believed possible.

Fabian loved me. Polly and Eff, I was sure, would soon be close at hand, and Fleur with them. The qualms that my formidable mother-in-law might have aroused in me were stilled. Moreover, I felt an understanding of her which could develop into fondness.

Fabian would be beside me and life would be good.