The Infected 1: Proxy (39 page)

Her mouth dropped open, showing her very nice teeth, obviously something that had taken some money as well, because natural teeth weren't that white in a twenty-seven year old without help. His weren't and he was younger than that. Her green eyes went big, red rimmed and dewy still.

"You mean... I did all that and actually made things worse? You were acting out of compassion, just a slightly different version of it, all those times? Trying to... protect people?" Her voice sounded amazed, as if to say she'd really been thinking of Brian as some crazy killer that just attacked people for no reason.

He nodded and debated not telling her anything about the Becky in his head, but figured it would eventually come out. Still, he didn't want to crush her now, she actually seemed to be perking up. Becky wanted him to tell her right then.

He decided to split the difference.

"All right, so, you're not an insane killer trying to destroy me, and I'm... probably not so broken that I don't know friend from foe. I think that clears things up for now. Just, you know, in the future, if I'm fighting someone, kind of give me the benefit of the doubt and hit the other person not me? If I don't back off without at least trying to tell you why, then you have my permission to use your power on me, or I don't know, run up and hit me with something... The thing is... There's going to be fallout from this and... I don't want to tell you all of it right now, it's nothing all that bad, but... yeah, can you trust me to tell you later? I don't want to dump a bunch of things on you that you can't do anything about right now. Because seriously, look around this place, you're not right in the head yet lady. Later though?" He smiled and gave her another hug for a moment, then let her go so she could talk.

The redhead nodded and swallowed visibly, her face going serious.

"Yeah, I think I know what must have happened. I'm so sorry... I'll... do anything you need. OK? Whatever you want from me. I owe you too much to leave you in trouble now..."

Brian shook his head.

"I will almost bet you don't guess this one. Still... friends?" He held out his hand to shake, she laughed and hugged him instead.

"Of course! What... do you want to do now?" Her voice went soft and she looked down, a bit lost looking he thought. He kept forgetting her first mode really was compassion, she must be going wild internally, thinking about what she'd almost done.

Rather than what he had done, hurting her. It didn't matter that he'd had a reason and wasn't in a good mental space inside. He'd lost control. That couldn't be allowed. Brian tried to steel his nerves and smiled.

Standing, he took her hand and helped her get up too.

"First, I think a shower for you is in order, not to be rude about it but I liked your old look better. You know the one with tooth brushing and not smelling like a hobo? What I'd like to do... Personally I want to go and work out. I also have to organize a new training regime, some people seem to think I can actually survive if I learn enough and get good enough, Lancaster let me read my personnel file. So...would you be willing to help with that? If you can, I mean? I know I've kind of been soft so far. Plus I hit you, which... Yeah, I'm sorry about that... I know that just saying the words don't really make it better... Anyway, I've healed up a bit now, so real workouts might actually be an option. Also... look, I know things have sucked for you while I was gone, but if you're willing..."

She nodded, not waiting to find out what he wanted.

"Anything." Her gaze was serious when she spoke.

"Would you come and sit with me before the press conference later today? I hate those things. I have to go and practice for it after lunch... Oh, make sure to eat something! You look half starved. Do you need me to get something for you? I don't know what team one does for lunch..."

It turned out that they had what amounted to a five star restaurant that ran twenty-four hours a day. Brian laughed when she invited him.

"Nah, I need to talk to the people on my own team... I haven't really been there for them. I don't know if I can be really, some of us are so different from everyone else. Mark, Stasis, I mean, I think he may be one of the most powerful people on the planet, but I don't even know what he needs at all. I owe him though, he saved my life, a bunch. Plus I still owe him some candy bars... I hardly know Christian at all, she keeps to herself, but that's no excuse for me to not find out what she needs, even if it's just letting her know I'm there for her. Marcia... I need her, I think, if I'm going to survive much longer." Something occurred to him finally.

"M.T. Marcia Turner. Duh. Sorry, just figured out that I probably need to get with Marcia about some training things even worse than I thought."

He didn't mention Penny. That seemed harder and he felt really conflicted about it. Maybe he could get advice about it later? Karen was a girl too, so maybe she'd have some insight. Or Becky. Brian figured that the advice would end up being, since he was the only one in the world that could talk to Penny, he needed to suck it up and stop being an ass, even if his feelings were hurt.

They made plans to meet in the green room just before the press event was to start. At the door she stopped him and just held him for a long while, tight enough that Dharma kept clearing her throat and tapping her foot, but didn't say anything until they were walking out.

"Dude... If I have to live in your head, you cannot - I mean absolutely, positively, never-ever, not in a million years - have sex with my sister. You need to get off with some other girl and I'll put up with it, even if the idea does feel like a bad lesbian porn movie idea from in here, but not my sister..." She made fake little retching noises. Or maybe not so fake?

A real point, not that he stood any chance with Karen anyway. He didn't say anything out loud, because talking to the voices in your head didn't play well anywhere, even if the reason might be halfway legitimate, but he smiled and tried to make himself not think about the idea. She answered him anyway, knowing what he'd been thinking about.

"God, Brian, low self-esteem much? She practically offered to do you back there. What do you think "I'll do anything you want" means? My guess is she thinks that her hitting you like that made you fall madly in love with her and now she feels guilty about it. Which she should. Lame reason to nearly burn out a guy's brain, especially around here. Notice how she doesn't go around hitting everyone else all the time, even though half the people here would probably be helped by it? Still, I don't care if you two are soul mates... It just can't happen. You should give some of the team two girls a chance maybe, or ask Marcia if she wants a tumble."

Not able to answer out loud he just sighed. Like any of that was going to happen?

Brian got lunch with his team, Mark making the traditional sandwiches, with cake for dessert, which Brian had to turn down even though it smelled fantastic. Marcia did too, but winked at Mark when she did it and explained that not having a sense of smell and not much ability to taste food made even the best stuff bland. After they'd eaten, Penny sitting with a piece of cake in front of her, playing with it instead of eating, talking to everyone, without expecting a response, Marcia started discussing his training options.

"Jason and I have a plan worked out, we need someone to help you in the mornings, to replace Karen, the later part of the day we have covered, and Mark is going to be with you in the evenings. Mental training. We also have the lab guys on it, they're bringing in a specialist, some hot shot geek that works out of Princeton I think, nano-materials, that kind of stuff. Um..." She searched for the name. "Messershnap?"

Cocking his head to the right, he gave her a hard look.

"Messerschmidt? Jeremy Messerschmidt?"

"Right! You've heard of him? Didn't know you followed that kind of thing at all." She looked intrigued when Brian nodded.

"Uh, yeah... He was my roommate at M.I.T. For three years. Pretty much my best friend for a long time. Oh, and I got with Karen already, she's in for mornings again."

The room went silent and everyone stared at him. Mark looking up and smiling peacefully, as if not surprised at all, but Penny had a shocked expression for some reason. Marcia just raised her eyebrows.

The invisible girl turned to him and sounded baffled. "I thought... weren't you just a slacker or something? Video games and factory work?"

He turned and looked at her, making himself not ignore her like he had been for the last bit, nearly two months, he realized. It had occurred to him again that not talking to her, even if she had kind of hurt his feelings and basically said he wasn't good enough for her, was a bitch move. More to the point, Becky stood behind his chair and told him this several times, and since her takes on things had proved essentially correct so far, he decided to just assume she was right and he'd been a dick. Not the greatest thing to realize about yourself, still, if you did, then you kind of had to try and fix it.

"Yeah, I did that too, after three years of school. I started at fifteen, fourteen really, but I turned fifteen after a few weeks. When I could, at eighteen, I got out of there. Nothing against the school, top notch place, but my parents wanted a super math genius trophy child, which I wasn't really interested in being by then. It took years to get the constant stream of numbers out of my head. My parents didn't care that I didn't really have a life, as long as I did exactly what they wanted. After I left they stopped talking to me. Jeremy had been cool though, even if having a kid as a roommate had to be a pain some times. Like, if he ever wanted to bring a girl back to the room, he couldn't just tell me to get lost, right? Never complained though. We haven't talked in years. Five in fact."

It took Penny a bit to realized he'd spoken to her directly.

"Brian, did you just... talk to me?" The girl's voice sounded little and meek, like she didn't want to ruin what had happened, but also wanted to know that it had.

"Yeah. Sorry, I've been a bit of a jerk about things. I let my feelings get hurt and..." Looking around he saw Marcia and Mark both looking at him baffled.

"Oh, right, I never really mentioned the whole thing, well not to Marcia. Penny - I don't know why - gave me the whole "I like you as a friend" speech, but I hadn't suggested we be more than friends at the time... You know, the whole preemptive speech that girls give to absolutely disgusting guys right before they start dating a football player or something in school? "You're a great guy, but I like you like a brother" or "I'm not interested in having a relationship at all right now" even though she's probably going to have three dates that weekend while you sit in your dorm room playing video games and wondering why you suck so much? So... I haven't been talking to her. Not cool of me, but that's the situation. So, everyone knows now. Yes, I'm a jerk, I admit it. Sorry..."

Marcia looked at him, a little blankly, and shrugged as if she didn't get it at all. Mark however stared where Penny was, looking at her exactly, fixing her position in space as if he could see her too. After a second, Brian realized he could, if he'd dropped into his slow time thing and come back out, which no one else would even be able to notice.

"Wow, Penny... that's kind of cold. I take it you had some kind of a reason? Write it out and leave a copy on my desk. This I've got to hear..."

That Mark would have found a way to communicate with the girl didn't shock him so much, but he hadn't known they were close enough for the man to demand she give him the details of things like that. Brian shrugged. Good. Why shouldn't they be friends? For all he knew they were sleeping together. Penny was solid enough and with the lights out, if you paid attention, it wouldn't even be all that confusing.

Becky kicked his chair and laughed at him.

"Atta boy! Remember, the whole world doesn't revolve around you and there's a million things in this place you don't know yet and more than that you never will. The sooner you grasp that the better off you'll be. But... notice Mark didn't go all silent on her, or act pussy-hurt, he asked her why she'd been so cold toward you and seems to be taking her to task for it. That doesn't sound like he's afraid of losing his booty call to me..."

Brian laughed a little and told them he had to go and get ready for the press conference, which made Marcia wince.

"Want me to get together a group of bodyguards for you?" She asked, chuckling a little, licking her lips and fighting a smile.

Brian gave her a shocked look. "You mean you don't already have them lined up?"

Before going to the green room Brian stopped by the armory and took out a few weapons, not bothering to sign for them. No one guarded the place, which made it easy to use, but a little scary, because anyone could get at firearms, and other goodies, at any time. Including people recently locked up in the fruitloop ward on eight. Kind of an oversight in procedure. He took two nine mils and two knives. Brian contemplated a grenade, but couldn't find any reason that killing a room full of reporters would be justified, even if they all laid into him for some reason.

That, of course, could happen. Would happen. He'd beaten up Lady Glory, a woman and national favorite. That he'd been driven into a suicidal state by her might have just been missed by the press all together. After all, most of the time her power just made everyone a fan. That kind of thing would be hard to move past for a lot of people. Brian knew why it had happened and still felt guilty about it, even if Karen had hardly mentioned it at all, being more concerned with what she'd done to him.

Swallowing, he knew that all he could do was own his own actions, no matter why they'd happened. If he made excuses for poor behavior then anyone could. Including Infected people that really couldn't help what they did, driven by fear or rage into actions that had to be stopped. It wasn't fair, or even good, but it had to be done, because people either controlled themselves or society had to step in and do it for them.

That kind of had to include him, right? If the IPB couldn't control him, the least dangerous person around, how could they be expected to keep a Prime in check or a Lauren? Or even little Bridget? He didn't like all the laws, but there had to be some kind of order in the world. It didn't have to be what they had now, police beating innocent people and state sanctioned kidnapping, but that meant that good people had to be willing to take their lumps if it came down to it.

Not that he'd submit to the police again, not ever, even if guilty. They'd just kill him and probably torture him first. But that didn't mean he should get off free if he broke the law did it? The idea made his head spin, so he tried to put it on the back burner for a while as he made his way into the room they were supposed to meet in. Prime sat waiting with Charlot the PR lady, both looking tense and unhappy, but holding hands, which surprised Brian a little. The woman gave him a smile when she saw him, and didn't mention him being late, the clock on the wall only marking him as about two minutes tardy.

Scott stood, his hand out.

"Brian! I wanted to be there for you again when you went out, but everyone seems to think my presence might... distract from the message today. I hope you understand..." The voice sounded contrite, even humble. It wouldn't last long, but it was nice to know the guy had that kind of range. It probably meant, in the end, that he was able to be more than just his first mode and that at times at least, he wanted to.

Brian did understand, but wasn't really happy about it, which he let show on his face. He took the hand and pumped it a few times then looked at Charlot, who gave him a look that, while not angry, probably meant that he better not ask if Prime could be there in front of the man if he knew what was good for him. He nodded to her and asked Scott if they could have the room for a bit.

The golden man looked surprised but not hurt by this, just clapping him on the back and leaving, saying he'd be back in ten minutes.

Charlot, hair loose and larger than the current fashion said was cute, makeup perfect, and dressed in a ladies business suit with a skirt and shoes just a bit too pretty to be practical, cleared her throat.

Brian shrugged and tilted his head at her a little. "I'd like him to be there. Karen too. She's coming in an hour and a half, here, for moral support anyway. I know we've all screwed up, but this issue... it's kind of a big deal. If we look like we won't back each other up... Does this make any sense? I mean you're the pro here. If you tell me I'm being a moron, then I am, but it makes sense to me, if we all go in together..." He held his breath, knowing that the woman might bite his head off. He'd heard some stories that made her sound positively vicious at times.

Instead of ripping him a new one, as he feared, she smiled, not a warm smile, a calculating one that reminded him of a reptile for some reason, even on her pretty face. Gripping his shoulder she hugged him to her for a few seconds before letting go.

"You've got Karen out of her room? And coming here? She's not half insane with grief over nearly killing you anymore? Amazing. The psych boys have a betting pool that had her quitting before the end of next month as the favorite. Yes, if we can get the three of you problem children out there, that would work. Especially if you'll all interact with the press after the main event?"

Shrugging, he told her he couldn't promise what anyone else would do, but he liked the idea better than going alone. She left him with a list of possible questions the press might have, and some answers that wouldn't get them into trouble. Anything else they asked he should just answer honestly. Brian knew this because it had been printed out at the bottom, as if answering with the truth would be so rare you'd have to tell people to do it. He'd already told the press his big bad hidden secret, the stuff about the police. Anything else he said would probably pale in comparison to that.

Later, about an hour after she'd left, Charlot came in looking a bit mussed, but happy. Apparently telling Scott that he'd be allowed on camera today had made him extra pleased or something. Or she'd run into someone else... Why not? If Prime got to sleep around all the time, she should too, right? Charlot got right to work, asking him the questions in different orders, using slightly different words, stressing different parts of a single question three or four ways.

"If they keep doing that... Given your folksy charm out there, I'd say ask them what their real question is and to stop hedging like that. Just don't call Senator Hooper a douche bag or anything. Even if it's true, that wouldn't really be advantageous for us right now. Take the high road no matter what this time. Not that you don't always, but let them really see it."

She took him by the hand like a child and led him to a small room, about the size of a large walk-in closet, but with about eighty bright light bulbs surrounding a mirror and a thin brunette woman who looked about thirty that had a cute button nose and flawless skin. Her clothing looked practical for her job as a makeup artist, a black shirt and blue jeans, the only spot of color being her bright red socks which showed above her black tennis shoes.

Charlot made a quick introduction.

"Clari, this is Brian Yi. Make him look... older if you can. Not too hot, he needs to look like a military type I think. Brian, Clarice is one of the best makeup people in the world. If you fuss or make her complain about you, well, I know where you live..." The mock glare came with a smile and a pat on the arm.

The woman went straight to work, having him take off his black fatigue top and tucking paper around the neck of his t-shirt, then explaining each thing she did. He held still, and did exactly what she told him, and refused to scratch or rub his nose, even though the makeup itched. Brian knew that if it itched long enough, it would eventually go away. He'd stop noticing it at least. When he'd been shackled for days in that police cell he'd learned that the hard way. It took about forty minutes for the makeup to be done, which surprised him, having never thought about how long things like that would take before, it was a lot more than expected. She helped him put his top back on and pulled the tissue after that, preventing smudges on the clothes she said. Then she went to the door.

"Charlot, your opinion?"

At the door, she stopped and nodded, as if barely satisfied or something, but not wanting to offend innocent Clari for not doing a better job, given the poor starting materials she had to work with here. She looked at him carefully and then both went over him with lint brushes.

"That was quick work..." the PR woman said, standing back again and nodding slightly once.

Clari shrugged and gave the other woman a quick nod. "It's not that hard to do here, low body fat, good bone structure, enough things have been broken in the face so that he doesn't look twelve... Add the tiniest hint of beard shadow so he looks manly, but not enough to look sloppy or wild. It didn't hurt that he sat like a pro, better than a lot of professionals, to tell the truth. Sped things up a lot. Didn't even cop a feel." She grinned.

Charlot nodded and winked at the woman, not caring that Brian saw it.

"He's straight too, and single. We've been hiding him away so far, but once that gets out he'll probably never be here anymore. Out having fun all the time..." This sounded a bit wistful, but both women laughed, some kind of joke at his expense probably.

No big thing.

They were used to hanging out with team one, not some team three sad sack. Prime and the others were all pretty good looking. Even Marcia would have made the grade, and had for a long time. She cleaned up really well. Also not important. He'd gladly take her as she was right now - ready to help him not die too easily - over her being dolled up any day. Besides, her kicking his butt in a bright red mini dress would have been just as bad as in her combat outfit. Worse in a way. It would probably ruin mini-dresses for him.

Karen and Scott walked out with him onto the stage when Director Moore introduced him, having explained exactly what had happened again before he even spoke. Brian just had to answer questions, which felt easier if not a lot more friendly than giving a speech. The first one hit really hard though. The gray-haired guy with the young face went first, his casual button up the front shirt and black slacks looking relaxed and friendly, though the question was a bit rough. Also one that hadn't been planned for at all on the list he'd practiced.

"Proxy, did you really try to kill yourself and then attack - physically assault - Lady Glory last month?" It left him wiggle room, but also room to hang himself, he saw. Taking a deep breath he jumped in. Might as well swing properly.

"Yes. There were some surrounding issues, but the long and short of it is that I did. I regret it... so much more than I can say. Karen, Lady Glory, is a good friend of mine and, well, her power clashed with my own Infection's first mode - the primary emotion I feel, a type of self-sacrifice - until my brain chemistry altered. We've addressed it and it shouldn't happen again. Still, I'm responsible for my actions, no one else. I don't want anyone to think I'm trying to dodge out of what I did. What my punishment for that will be has yet to be decided, but Director Moore, and the IPB as a whole, does not tolerate unneeded violence. " That should cover about anything, including if they had him taken out and shot over the whole thing. It probably wouldn't be that, but if it was, at least people would think that Brian backed it.

The next several questions were about Senator Hooper, how he felt about the man, how he felt about the threat to Infected rights, and if the actions of Hooper and his supporters made him angry, which seemed a strange question to him.

"Angry? No... Look, these people are scared, frightened of a threat that, let's face it, is often very real. I can't even tell them not to be scared. This organization exists because a lot of Infected people do bad things and need someone to stop them. Some don't bother to control themselves, and others just can't. The only thing that really troubles me about Senator Hooper and his followers is that they seem to forget that there are also a lot of Infected that are harmless, even friendly and helpful. Yes, that gets them into difficulties too sometimes, but everyone gets into trouble at some point. Most of the time, for most people, it doesn't ruin their whole lives. We should just keep that in mind with the Infected as well. Sure, protect yourself and make sure people don't get hurt, but don't try to shoot the guy that just saved your life either." He raised his eyebrows and lifted his voice at the end, going for slightly comedic. No one laughed today.

The questions came in fast and furious, most of them having nothing to do with the Senator Hooper situation at all, being a lot more concerned with Karen and Scott than anything else, but they both very purposefully waved to him when it came time to answer questions, refusing to speak. The whole thing had Charlot's fingerprints all over it, because Scott wouldn't have avoided answering questions on his own. Ever. His own sense of infallibility and natural superiority wouldn't let him. Brian wondered what kind of mental jujitsu they'd used on the man to make it happen now.

The rest of the questions went well, and the reporters seeming highly interested when they were told that there would be refreshments and a chance to ask more questions one on one in the adjoining room. Brian hadn't even known it existed, a room that looked more like the meeting room at a nice hotel than the press room - which looked exactly like what it was, a stage for one person to speak. This part of things made him feel very unsettled, not endangered, but out of his depth. More than ever he understood that everyone in the room with him had capabilities that he simply didn't. He could add some honest talk to things, but to face reporters, people wanting to get at the "hard answers" face to face... That would be a lot more difficult to handle.

Not three steps into the room the first reporter landed on him, a familiar blond woman, the one that Scott had almost killed. He asked her how she was and shook her hand in what he hoped seemed a professional fashion. She shocked the heck out of him by hugging him, not a slow lingering hug, but a giddy leap into his arms, obviously trying to get it on camera for some reason. He hoped it wasn't anything bad. Being single he wasn't that worried about it for any kind of personal reason and didn't see how it could be used against the IPB, but then what he didn't know about the press could fill volumes.