Authors: Elaine Jeremiah
She was shaking her head. ‘No, I’m
sorry, Mr Ast… Martin, I can’t do it. I know I said I want to find Steven. And
I do. But I think we should wait a while. There’s a chance that if he’s still
alive, and that’s a big if, he doesn’t want to be found. If he did want to be
found, he would have come out of hiding by now. I know it’s been years since
he vanished, but there could still be people out there who wish to harm him.’
She folded her arms across her chest as if trying to protect herself and
shivered involuntarily. ‘The truth is I’m scared,’ she went on. ‘I’m scared of
putting him and myself in danger of harm from the people who’re after him. And
I really think the police ought to be involved were we to go looking for him.’
‘So what do you propose we do? You
don’t think we’ve waited long enough?’
Kate took a deep breath. ‘We may
have to wait a while longer. I’m sorry, Martin, but I just can’t help you at
the moment.’
She’d caught sight of his
disappointed expression as she got up, but had resolutely opened the door and walked
quickly down the gloomy corridor without looking back.
Although this meeting with Martin had
taken place months ago, Kate still felt coldness inside her as she remembered
it now. Deciding to abandon her essay for the moment, she got up to go out for
a walk. She had a need to clear her head and shake off her feelings of
foreboding. As she was putting on her coat and boots in the kitchen, she
wondered what Martin’s true intentions were. Did he really want to help her as
he said? Or was there another more sinister reason for his interest?
The party two days ago had been a
hard one from which Emma was only just beginning to recover. As she lay in bed
with a cold flannel on her forehead she relived the events of the evening as if
she was watching a movie of it in her head. It had started so well; she and
Natalie were seeing eye to eye again – which was mostly down to Emma’s
acceptance of Natalie’s ultimatum – and Emma had surprised herself by how much
she was looking forward to it. The party was to celebrate the birthday of one
of their acquaintances and the girl whose birthday it was had decided to have a
fancy dress party, any outfit accepted. It was now May and for the past month
or so the weather had been balmy and beautiful. Emma could hardly believe
she’d been in London for a whole year.
‘I think we should go as two
eighteenth century ladies,’ Natalie had said as they made their plans.
‘Oh yes, that sounds great,’ Emma
replied. ‘You know how much I love to dress up. I’ve seen this fancy dress
shop on my travels around town which we could probably use.’
Everything seemed to go to plan;
they hired two beautiful gowns, they each managed to find a suitable gift for
the birthday girl and before they knew it, it was the night of the party. Once
in their outfits, they took photos of each other, marvelling at how different
they looked. The dresses were so beautiful with intricately embroidered
fabric. They’d cost a lot to hire but Emma felt it was worth every penny.
When they were ready to go, they waited
impatiently by the front door for their taxi to appear. Thankfully they didn’t
have long to wait and in no time at all were whisked off to the large house
where the party was being held. Stepping out of the taxi Emma felt nervous.
By now she’d been to lots of parties in London but this one put all the others in
the shade. The house was enormous, a veritable mansion and she was in awe of
the size of it as she and Natalie crossed the threshold. They were welcomed by
Amelia the birthday girl who was dressed as a Greek goddess.
Having been shown where to put their
belongings, they joined the other revellers and the party soon began in
earnest. Emma had never seen anything like it. In what could only be
described as a ballroom, there were literally hundreds of people swanning
around like gaudy streamers in all sorts of outfits from Roman generals to
pirates and cowboys and Indians. Emma followed Natalie around in a daze hoping
she’d see someone she knew, perhaps Rebecca or Johnny or Alison. But there was
no one she recognised and gradually as the evening wore on, the party began to
lose its appeal. Natalie was busy talking to anyone and everyone and seemed to
know so many people. Emma felt she knew no one. She kept trying to join in
the conversations as she flitted between the different groups of people. But
she was drowned out by the loud music, everyone was shouting and no one seemed
to notice she was there.
Eventually she ended up sitting on
a chair at the side of the huge room, fanning her face with the fan she’d
bought to go with her outfit. It was stiflingly hot, especially in her long
dress. She could feel the corset digging into her ribs and the heavy fabric of
the dress was swamping her. It had seemed like such a good idea back at the
house to wear these beautiful dresses but now she wasn’t so sure. The party had
only been going for a couple of hours but it felt like an eternity. She had
been sitting there for a while when seemingly out of nowhere Natalie stalked up
to her, grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her off to a spot behind a large
potted plant in a corner of the room where they couldn’t be seen too easily.
‘Emma,’ she hissed loudly to be
heard above the music, ‘you’ve got to make more of an effort.’
‘I’ve been trying for two hours to
mingle and talk to people. But no one seems to want to talk to me; they don’t
even notice I’m there!’
‘Well that’s because you’re going
round with a face like a boot acting like a wet blanket! Look, it’s Amelia’s
birthday. She’s a good friend of mine – of yours too in case you’d forgotten.
Can you please just try a little harder for her sake?’
‘I barely know Amelia,’ Emma said
frustrated. ‘You’re expecting me to enjoy this party where the only person I
really know is you and everyone else doesn’t care if I’m here or not!’ Seeing
Natalie’s thunderous look she went on, ‘Honestly, Nat, I’ve been doing my very
best to socialise, I’ve been in and out of groups of people constantly trying
to join in the conversation. But it’s very difficult on an occasion like this
when there’s loud music and so many people.’
‘Oh come on, Emma. Everyone has
occasions when they’re somewhere where they don’t know many people and it’s
hard to strike up a conversation. But unlike you, most people make the best of
it. Stop sulking and at least pretend you’re having a good time.’
Now as she lay in her room with the
dull light coming through the closed curtains, Emma groaned quietly at the
memory of what happened next; her mistake that evening and the consequence.
Amelia’s words came back to her.
‘Girls, girls, you must come here
and try something,’ she had said, appearing like a monarch in her splendour and
interrupting the conversation Emma and Natalie had been having. A man dressed
as Napoleon followed in her wake.
Before Emma could say anything, she
found herself being propelled by Natalie to a room next to the ballroom which
was almost as large. Amelia must have moved fast or else Emma was a little
tipsy, because when they reached the room she was already there. Seated on a chair
which was almost like a throne, Amelia was raised above her party guests. The
group of sycophants surrounding her, mainly young men dressed in a variety of
costumes, looked like her minions. It struck Emma how decadent the scene was,
as though Amelia were a modern day Aphrodite surrounded by her many lovers.
‘What must we try?’ Natalie asked.
‘Come here,’ Amelia said beckoning
the two girls to follow her as she got off her ‘throne’ and sashayed across the
room to a small door in the corner. ‘No, not you,’ she said imperiously as
some of the young men tried to follow her. ‘Ladies only.’
Emma was more and more in awe of
the house as she followed Natalie and Amelia into a much smaller but very
elegant and intimate space.
‘This is our breakfast room,’
Amelia explained. ‘But I haven’t brought you here to eat. I’m sure you’ve
gorged yourselves on the buffet already. I hope you found the chocolate
fountain. I always insist on having one at all of my parties.’
‘What are we here for?’ Emma asked,
sounding more off hand than she meant to. Natalie glared at her but Amelia
didn’t seem to notice.
‘I thought you ladies might want to
try a little something,’ she said as she picked up an ornate-looking box which
was on a beautifully carved coffee table. ‘I find it’s very good as a pick-me-up,
especially on occasions when the company is not as desirable as we would
like.’
She looked pointedly at Emma who blushed.
She watched as Amelia opened the box and took out a little packet. The packet
was clear plastic and Emma could see it was full of candy coloured pills. Her
mouth felt dry. These pills weren’t like cannabis, these were hard drugs. She
could feel the other girls’ eyes on her.
‘Oh come on, Em,’ Natalie said.
‘Taking one of these pills will make you feel better, happier. You might
actually start to enjoy yourself. I’ve had loads over the years. They don’t
hurt you; they make life more enjoyable, especially partying.’
‘But what about the comedown? I’ve
heard it can be pretty bad.’
‘That’s no issue if you’re
responsible about the way you take it and how you use it,’ Amelia said firmly.
‘It’s not dangerous if you’re careful.’
Emma considered. Maybe Natalie and
Amelia were right. She wasn’t really enjoying the party at the moment; perhaps
a ‘pick me up’ was just what she needed. The little voice in her head told her
it was a bad idea, but she ignored it as usual. She was among friends; they’d
look after her.
‘All right, what the hell, I’ll
take one,’ she said holding out her hand obediently as if Amelia were a doctor
and she the patient.
‘You won’t regret it, Emma,’ Amelia
said.
Lying quietly now in her room two
days after the event, visions of what happened next were in her mind. Amelia’s
words echoed painfully in her head.
Emma took the little pink pill with
some water. The other two girls took one each too.
‘Nothing’s happened,’ she said
almost disappointed.
Natalie laughed. ‘It will, Em,
it’s only been two seconds. Just give it time.’
‘Anyway, you don’t want it to work
too fast,’ Amelia put in. ‘That would be dangerous.’
‘I thought you said it wasn’t
dangerous?’
Amelia rolled her eyes. ‘Come on.
What you need right now is to dance and maybe get laid!’ She grabbed Emma’s arm
and pulled her towards the ballroom, Natalie trailing after them.
Emma found herself on the dance
floor boogying away with a load of complete strangers. To her surprise she
didn’t even mind that her friends had vanished. She felt energised and free;
her body seemed to have a life of its own. She’d never danced so well. When
she looked around her, the colours of the dance floor lights and people’s
clothing seemed more vibrant and intense. In fact she’d never seen colours so
bright and beautiful. Whatever was in the pill she’d taken was giving her a
whole new experience. She didn’t see the harm in it.
The minutes or hours – Emma
couldn’t tell which – passed by. She managed to have a sort of shouted
conversation with her fellow dancers.
‘How do you know Amelia?’ one
dancer, a girl, yelled at her.
That was a good question. How did
she know Amelia?
‘Um… through our mutual friend
Natalie.’
‘Oh I know Nat. She’s great.
You’ve got a good friend in her.’
Emma smiled and nodded, cross in
spite of her high that Natalie seemed to know everyone. She obviously wasn’t
the only one close to her and for some reason that piqued her. Suddenly she
felt an arm across her shoulders.
‘Hello, darling. You up for a
little cuddle?’ a male voice said.
She giggled in spite of herself and
pushed the speaker, a good looking man dressed as a highwayman, away feebly.
‘You’ll have to ask me nicely
first,’ she pronounced.
He went down on one knee and held
out his hand. Dancers were ogling and jostling him because the dance floor was
packed. But he ignored them and began,
‘Lady, I do not know your name
but…’
‘Oh stuff that,’ Emma said, ‘let’s
go somewhere quieter.’
Somewhere inside her mind, Emma’s usual
more sensible self was watching in horror as she allowed herself to be led by
this complete stranger to a dark, quiet corridor away from the main hall. The
man pinned her against the wall, pulled her dress up and fumbled with the
fastenings on his breeches. He kissed her roughly and amazed at herself, she
kissed him back. Then his wandering hand found her pants and tugged at them
until they came down. She could feel him hard against her thigh and was almost
surprised when he slid inside her.
The guilt Emma felt was lost in the
overwhelming feeling of desire. She hadn’t been with a man for a while and
this was blissful. She could feel him moving rhythmically inside her and her
body echoed his. His lips were by her ear and she heard him groan with pleasure.
She could hear herself moaning too as his lips sucked on her ear and his hands
caressed her breasts. They continued this way for a while, as if they were one
body moving fluidly together. Then they reached the height of their pleasure.
He climaxed first sighing deeply. It was a moment longer until she felt herself
climax too and she cried out from sheer ecstasy, stifling her cry by burying
her face in his shoulder.
Afterwards they continued to lean
against the wall for a moment, panting a little. The man’s arms were around
Emma; his breeches were around his ankles and her dress was pulled up high
above her waist. She was stiflingly hot and very thirsty. Glancing around
quickly to make sure they were still alone, they quickly readjusted their
clothes and Emma straightened her hair. She felt wet between her thighs. What
she really needed now was a shower. But first a drink. She was so thirsty. The
still-nameless-man stood back. He ran a hand through his dark shiny hair,
looking almost bashful.
‘Well… thanks for that… um?’
‘Emma.’
‘Emma. I really needed that. I’m Tom
by the way.’
‘Tom. Right. That was great for
me too.’ She looked away from him distractedly. ‘But I’d better go. I’m so
thirsty. I really need a drink.’ She wandered off before he could reply.
As she stumbled into the main hall,
Emma’s thirst was almost too much to bear. She had to have water. The feeling
was overwhelming as if she’d been without it for days. Finally she reached the
bar and staggered across to it ordering a bottle of water, which she proceeded
to drink as fast as she could. But it wasn’t enough. She was still thirsty.
She ordered a few more bottles and used her debit card to pay for them. She
finished the other bottles and was about to order some more when the room began
spinning around her.