The Inner Struggle: Beginnings Series Book 7 (57 page)

“I was.”

“What happened?”

He raised his bloodshot eyes to her. “Not now, El. My head is killing me.”

“Dean, are you all right?”

“No.” Dean shook his head. “No I’m not.”

“You went under, right?”

“Yes.”

“Did you go back to that night?”

“Yes and I’d rather not talk about it.”

“Why?” Ellen asked.

“Because it doesn’t make sense. None of it makes any sense.”

“What doesn’t make sense, Dean?” Ellen wanted to understand. “Did something happen when they brought you back there?”

When he shut the door, Frank’s entrance into the lab made Ellen and Dean both turn to him. “That’s what I want to know. Are you all right, Dean?”

Frank's concern surprised Ellen because if he was concerned, she knew something out of the ordinary had transpired in that office. “He has a bad headache, Frank.”

“Dean.” Frank moved to him. “You flipped out. You looked like you were struggling, This was after you said Moses and the other man took her away. Did you see the other man?”

“Yeah I did.” Dean ran his hand down his face. “But Frank, I couldn’t focus on his face. I’m sorry.”

“No, that’s all right. We can do this again if you want but tell me what you meant when you said ‘it doesn’t make sense’, What doesn’t?”

“You’re gonna think I’m nuts.”

Frank fluttered his lips. “Doubtful. Especially after what I saw you do. Tell me.”

Dean shook his head. “Nothing indicated it. Nothing. I have to be wrong.”

“Dean.” Frank spoke calm and with reason looking at the pale face of Dean. “Tell me what you’re talking about.”

“It can’t leave this room. Not yet. Not until go under again and see if it really happened.”

“What?” Frank asked again.

“You won’t believe me.”

“Try me.” Frank put his hands on his hips.

Dean took a breath first, looked at Ellen then Frank. “When I was under, I felt like I was lying on the floor. I could feel my gunshot wound. I watched Ellen being taken away but after she was gone is when the strange part happened. I felt like I had another blow to my head,. I felt like my hair was being pulled and my head was being lifted.” Dean looked so confused when he talked. “It could have been a dream I was having at that moment. But if the hypnosis jarred my memory, then we just learned something we didn’t know. Right before I blacked out I saw . . . I saw a tip of a boot.” Dean lifted his head to Frank. “Someone else was in that mobile.”

Frank’s breath escaped him, but only for a second. What Dean said made a lot of sense. It confirmed a part of the incident and the theory his father had on there being a survivor from outside. How much easier it would have been for John Matoose if that was the case. A third party helping Moses out with Ellen allowed John to stay in Beginnings and never be missed. The only thing that didn’t make sense to Frank was why this third party kicked and tried to take out a downed man. Did this person think they finished off Dean? What did he have to gain by doing it? For fun? Why waste the time to do so? Why take the chance on being caught unless the third party totally understood the importance and the relevance of Dean seeing more than he should have? If that was the case, Frank was certain that Dean knew more--a lot more--than his mind was letting escape.

<><><><>

Dean couldn’t believe the time when he actually arrived back at the mobile. As he set up for his mass production of agent 17, he thought for sure after dinner with his kids he would be able to get right back up to the lab and begin to work. It would have been the case had Henry not caught him on the way out the door. Had it been any other person the interruption would have been fine but Dean had to waste twenty minutes convincing Henry that the baby was not hurt, that he didn’t need to examine him, and that Henry would cry too if he was sitting in a wet diaper. Why Henry couldn’t understand that just because Ellen recently changed him didn’t mean that the baby wouldn’t need to be changed again. Finally after directing Henry in someone else’s direction, Dean managed to get to the lab. His head was still hurting from the afternoon trip into his subconscious mind. Pounding was more like it. It didn’t seem to matter what he took, the headache was not going away. Feeling that twinge of nausea begin to hit him from the pain, Dean pushed through his work, reading over his clipboard notes and mixing up his mass batch of agent 17 to test that evening.

<><><><>

“Thanks Josh.” Henry handed Nick to him as soon as he walked into Frank’s house. “I really appreciate you helping me out. Hap kicked me out.”

“No problem, Henry.”

Henry ran his fingers threw his hair, looking so frazzled. “I just don’t know what to do. I can’t get the air to escape him.”

“You mean, like, get him to burp?” Josh asked.

“Oh.” Henry cringed. “That term just doesn’t sound right. Anyhow, I tapped and tapped his back. I think he did but I’m not sure. I don’t want to beat the child unnecessarily.”

“Of course not.”

“So thank you. I don’t think he needs to eat. Hap changed his diaper and . . . ow!” Henry’s eyes gazed down to his leg where the sudden pain emanated. Little Brian looked up with a wide smile and a baby laugh. “Why is he in the walker? Doesn’t he walk now?”

“Yep.” Josh sat down on the couch with Nick.

“Should he be in the walker? I mean should we really encourage him to be so dependent on a mechanical device to get around?” Henry pointed at him

“Go on and take him out but I’m not chasing his little butt around here. He’s safe in there.”

Henry bent down and rubbed his shin. “For you maybe. Hey, Bri.” Henry rubbed his head. “Why does Frank insist on dressing this one year old child like a militant soldier.”

Josh rolled his eyes. “It’s cute.”

“I really hope he doesn’t make Nick into one.” Henry placed his hands in his pockets. “It looks like the tray to this walker is dirty. Maybe I should . . .”

“Henry?” Josh interrupted him nicely. “You know what? If, like, you need something to do while I take care of the babies, which by the way my dad said I rule at, I need to finish the laundry.”

“Oh my God!” Henry sounded so upset. “He expected to you to do laundry while you were taking care of the baby? Was he nuts? You can’t do that? How can you . . .”

“Henry?” Josh stood up. “Would you kind of, like, help me out and, like, do that for me? I am taking care of Nick for you.”

“Oh sure, Josh. Wait until I tell Frank about this. He really expects too much out of you.” Henry walked to the kitchen and didn't see the sigh of relief Josh gave as he did so. He walked down the basement steps and saw the small load of laundry in its pile on the floor. Dark colors . . . easy enough
Checking the washer, Henry removed the clothes that were in there and placed them in the dryer. He picked up the pile of dirty clothes, one article at a time, holding each piece by two fingers and at arm’s length as he dropped them into the washer. Henry looked up to the shelf for the bottle of soap. When he lifted it, he saw it was empty. “Great.” Turning his head, he saw the white cabinet. Remembering that’s where Frank stored the extras, he walked to it, opened it up, and lifted the refill bag of soap. As he did, he saw something that he really shouldn’t have. Hidden that refill bag was a bottle of moonshine. Surprised by this and thinking it was old, Henry took it out and held it up to the light. There were no particles floating about in the half empty bottle which told Henry it wasn’t as old as he thought. He replaced the soap but not the moonshine and wondered why it was there. Most of all he wondered why it was hidden. Knowing alcohol problem that Frank had been having lately, Henry realized the answers to his questions.

Maybe he shouldn’t have left Frank’s house immediately with, the hidden bottle of booze predominantly on his mind but Henry was bothered by it. Frank was hiding it now? For what purpose? From whom? The bottle was another warning flag to Henry that Frank was much worse than he had thought. He went to the social hall where the metals run meeting was taking place. When Henry walked in there, he saw Frank standing before a map. His hand was spread out on it and a table of men were before him. Henry’s eyes shifted to the table and to the empty seat. A drink glass was there. As he raised his eyes, he saw Robbie. Robbie listened as he fiddled with his guitar, a cigarette dangling from his mouth. They made eyes contact only briefly. Not wanting to interrupt, and feeling the silliness of his searching out Frank, Henry turned and left the social hall.

“Did you want to see me, Henry?” Robbie asked.

Henry turned around in his walk. Robbie followed him out? “No, Frank.”

“Is everything O.K.? I’ll go get him.”

“No. Don’t bother him. I . . . I was just . . . never mind.” Henry shook his head and started to walk again.

“Henry.” Robbie chased him “Something is wrong. What is it?”

“It’s stupid why I’m here. It can wait. I’ll talk to Frank about it later.”

“O.K.” Robbie tossed his hands up.

“Robbie,” Henry called to him as he walked away, “you’re his brother. Can I tell you something?”

“Sure.”

“I’m worried about Frank and his drinking. Should I be?”

Robbie took a serious look. “I noticed him drinking more but what makes you worry about it? Is there a reason to worry more?”

Henry lifted his shoulder and lowered them with a slow drop. “I don’t know. I think there is. Maybe I am over reacting. But . . . I was doing laundry at his house and I found a bottle of moonshine hidden behind the soap. He has one in the kitchen. Why is he hiding a bottle in the basement?”

Robbie let out a slow deep breath. “He’s not just hiding a bottle in the basement, Henry.”

“But I . . .”

“Trust me. If he has one in the basement, he has them everywhere. And if that’s the case . . .” Robbie motioned his head toward the living section. “Let’s go.”

<><><><>

Dean clicked his fingers on the keyboard of his computer. “No.” He shook his head as he looked at the image on the screen. “This can’t be right.” He lifted the clipboard and reviewed his notes. “This can’t be right.” He leaned his aching head on his hand, staring at the screen and the picture of the virus untouched by his agent 17. “This is the original strain. It worked on it before.” He picked up the clipboard again, looked and slammed it down. “What the hell happened?”

<><><><>

They felt sending Josh with both babies over to Henry’s house was the right thing to do, Seven bottles, all different sizes, all with different amounts of moonshine in them, sprawled out on Frank’s table. Henry and Robbie sat at the table staring at them.

Robbie closed his eyes briefly. “This is bad. All this hidden? This is bad.”

“I know.” Henry folded his hands and lowered his head.

“Who would have thought? Frank?”

“I saw it coming, Robbie.”

“We all did.” Robbie noticed the look on Henry’s face, so sad, so down. “Henry, what is it?”

“It’s all my fault. All of this.” He pointed to the bottles. “I caused this.”

Robbie had to laugh at such the ridiculous notion. “Right, Henry. You put the bottle to my brother’s mouth and told him to drink? I don’t think so.”

“I pushed him to it.”

“How do you figure that?” Robbie was shocked.

“I know when Frank started drinking regularly and heavier and that was when I started being Ellen’s primary relationship.”

“So why do you blame yourself? My brother gave her up. You didn’t take her from him, Henry.”

“Didn’t I?” Henry finally looked up at Robbie. “I know those two. Break up, back together. I did nothing when they broke up the last time to help them out. I made your brother a promise. I promised him I would never make Ellen mine. I promised him I would always do whatever I could to keep them together. Do you know why I promised him these things? Not because he’s my best friend, but because I was alone. I was very alone. Your brother went against everything he believed in and he shared what he had with me. Because of that, my life meant something again. Having Ellen in my life made me smile again. Frank gave that to me. In my gratefulness I gave him my word. In my selfishness, I broke that word.”

“They weren’t together, Henry.”

“Who was to say that they wouldn’t have worked this out?”

Robbie shook his head. “I can’t agree with you. I have to argue with you. Life got hard for Frank, too bad. He needed Ellen, too bad. He turned to the bottle because of that. That is not your fault.”

“Don’t you think I could have helped matters by recognizing he needed her? She bore my child when Frank assumed it was his. We thought we were married. Whether or not it turned out to be invalid or our reasons behind it, we did it behind Frank’s back.”

“Then Ellen’s to blame too.”

“And now Ellen is the key to stopping it.” Henry closed his eyes and sat back.

“No Henry. Frank is the key.”

“Frank is the key to recognizing his problem. Ellen is the key to helping him through it. If Frank doesn’t have her, he will have no incentive to quit. If she is in his life he can do it, Robbie.” Henry leaned forward. “You know and I know alcohol is a weakness. The addiction is a weakness. Giving it up is a fight that will wear you down and make you weak. Who is it that Frank can be like that in front of? Ellen. Ellen is the only one he will let his defenses down in front of. He will not fight it if he has no one to tell him it’s all right to struggle. It’s all right to feel like you’re losing. He’s not going to listen to us. He’s not. It is my responsibility, my love for my friend, and my indebtedness to him, that I have to be the one to get her to help him. At any risk. At any cost.”