The Instant When Everything is Perfect (37 page)

One of the most popular questions when I went out on book tour was if I had told her parents that I had dedicated the book to her. I said no.  I wasn't sure how to broach the topic with them, not knowing how they were on their trajectory of grief.  I wasn’t sure if they would understand. I just thought hopeful thoughts for them.

Somehow, they managed to find out about the novel and wrote to me.  Here is what Susan Casner wrote:

I want to thank you for dedicating your book to our daughter, Karri.  I'm sure after reading the many articles about Karri in magazines and on the internet, you were able to get a sense of what a special young woman she was.  Karri was an old soul--much wiser than her years.  She visits us often . . . but that's another story!!

I felt a great deal of gratitude for their generous response, and I also admired so much how they seemed to be healing and growing from this horrible experience.

QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION

Mia is different from her sisters in both appearance and profession. She’s big-boned and fleshy while they’re tall and slender; she’s artistic while they’re scientific. These differences have sometimes made her feel estranged from her family. Have you, or someone close to you, ever struggled with similar feelings of being disconnected to your family?

Does Mia and Ford’s 22-year-old marriage remind you of other marriages you have known? Do you think it’s an accurate depiction of many long-time marriages? Comment on Mia’s realization that after she and Ford achieved the dreams of their early years, they “forgot to think up later dreams, other goals, future plans.” (Page ___)

Mia was never sexually fulfilled in her marriage, yet she accepted that loss, and learned to live with it, because Ford brought many other positive qualities to the marriage--excellent parenting, for example. Do you know of other women who have made the same or similar compromises? In your opinion, are those trade-offs acceptable, or not?

Robert has been involved with many women, but has not been able to make a commitment to any of them. Do you think that will change with Mia? Why or why not?

Sally chooses not to have reconstructive surgery and she stops her chemotherapy treatments, preferring to live more fully right now despite the slightly increased chance that her breast cancer will reoccur. In her situation, would you make the same choice? Drawing upon the experiences of women you’ve known, discuss the many choices open to women who are fighting breast cancer. Do you think some choices are more socially accepted than others?

After Robert lost two patients on the operating table, he decided to focus his work on “serious” reconstructive plastic surgery rather than on cosmetic surgery. Do you find him more admirable because of his choice? How does his work in Honduras change your impression of him? Share your thoughts and opinions about the popularity of cosmetic surgery today. Does changing how people look really change who they are inside?

When Robert first meets Mia, he seems to recognize her as a “kindred soul.” Jessica Inclan writes: “’There you are,’ he almost said. ‘Where the hell have you been?’” (Page ___) Do you think that immediate sense of recognition is a common experience among people who fall in love? If so, how do you explain it?

Mia’s younger, high-school-age son brings the family situation to a crisis by telling his mother that his father is having an affair. Do you find this development believable? realistic? Are you upset by the boys’ direct involvement in their parents’ adultery?

Is the end of the novel satisfying? If so, why? If not, how would you change it?

Jessica Inclan devotes quite a few pages to dramatizing the doctors’ appointments and medical treatments that involve an entire family when one member is suffering from a serious illness. Discuss the family dynamics described in the novel. How do your own experiences compare?