The International Kissing Club (20 page)

She didn’t need to. Cassidy knew without question that kissing Lucas had felt way better than surfing ever could.

The Official Fan Page for the International Kissing Club

871

people like this

IKC Page

Messages

Between
Izzy
and
Mei
:

Izzy

I’m sorry you’re having a terrible time. I guess I’m not the only one who’s miserable.

Mei

Is it that awful? I’ve met Germaine’s Chinese doppelgänger. Am beginning to have a whole new sympathy for Piper. But how are you holding up? You’re not just sitting at our table by yourself, are you?

Izzy

At our table? Hell no. Al Gore and I are spending quality time together under the trees in the courtyard.

Mei

You mean his books, I assume. I hope Germaine isn’t hassling you now that Piper’s gone and she has no one to torment.

Izzy

Are you kidding? I’m not even a speck on her radar. So, at least I’m okay on that front. I just miss you guys.

IKC Page

Chapter 11
Izzy

Izzy still hadn’t decided what to do with the earrings from River. In her free time—which she had oodles of, now that Mei, Cassidy, and Piper had abandoned her—she contemplated various methods of destroying them. As delightful as the suggestions on the IKC page had been, most of them were
too
dramatic. In the end, she decided to channel Mei.

Last year, when Mei broke up with her long-term boyfriend, John, she simply gathered the detritus of their relationship and politely dropped off the box at his house. No drama. No emotion. And the dopey expression on John’s face had been visible even from the car, where the three of them sat waiting to head to the movies.

Obviously, Izzy wasn’t going out to Lubbock. But when Saturday rolled around, she gassed up Brittney and headed for the farmers’ market in Sherman, which was where she and River had first met nearly a year ago. His mother had a stall in the back, where she sold beeswax candles and tie-dyed shirts that hung from the awning rafters like brightly colored flags.

When Izzy got there, Autumn, River’s mother, was chatting with a customer, but as soon as the woman left, Autumn engulfed Izzy in a big patchouli-scented hug. Autumn was a tiny woman, with long brown hair worn in a braid down her back. As always, she was dressed in jeans and one of the T-shirts she’d made.

Wrapped in Autumn’s soothing embrace, Izzy squeezed her eyes shut against the tears prickling the backs of her eyes.

“Oh, honey,” Autumn cooed. “I’m so glad you came by. I was worried when you and River broke up that I wouldn’t see you anymore. Come sit down. I have a really nice ginger maté tea in the thermos.”

Izzy swallowed past her tears, tried to speak, and then just nodded as she sank into one of the chairs at the back of the stall. Autumn bustled around, offering roasted soy nuts and fresh figs, before sitting down beside Izzy and gently patting her hand.

And that was when Izzy knew why she’d really come. It didn’t have anything to do with the earrings. She just missed Autumn’s gentle maternal air. The way she focused her attention so completely on Izzy. Her own mother never did that. Not when Shane had so much more potential she could be cultivating. After years of benign neglect at home, was it any wonder Izzy had missed this?

A second later, she burst into tears, without ever handing back the earrings or even explaining why she’d come. Autumn just let her cry.

By the time Izzy was cried out, Autumn had sold three more candles but no T-shirts. Apparently the kind of customer who bought tie-dyed T-shirts was easily scared off by hysterical girls.

Once again, Autumn patted her on the hand. “You’ll feel better now that you’ve expressed your grief.”

“I guess,” Izzy muttered. What she really felt was adrift. She took a sip of the tea. The pungent brew felt like it was stripping the lining from her sinuses. Forcing herself to swallow it, she set the cup aside.

But hashing out the relationship couldn’t be any harder than drinking the tea. So she started talking. “On paper, River and I looked like the perfect couple. I thought we were alike in every way.”

Autumn nodded sympathetically. “I know, honey.”

“And now he’s off in Lubbock.” She shot a sideways glance at Autumn, not sure how much she could say. “Have you seen his Facebook updates lately?” she asked tentatively.

Autumn’s smile wavered and her head bobbed. “He is expressing his freedom uniquely.”

“So you’ve seen his page. Why aren’t you freaking out about it?”

Autumn sighed, but the placid nurturing never left her expression. “He has to find his own way.”

Suddenly Autumn’s unending acceptance grated against Izzy’s nerves. “He’s betraying everything you raised him to believe,” she pointed out.

“Honey, I know you’re having a really big experience of anger right now—”

“I’m not having an
experience
of anger.” Izzy gritted her teeth. She hopped out of the chair and away from Autumn’s touch. “I’m frickin’ pissed.” Finally she settled on why Autumn’s attitude annoyed her. “And I don’t understand why you’re not pissed, too.”

“Honey, did it ever occur to you that you and River were too much alike? Sometimes when people fit together too well, a relationship can become confining. Smothering.”

Izzy’s eyebrows shot up. “You’re saying I smothered him?”

Before Autumn could answer, another customer came over to buy a candle. Instead of waiting for her to come back, though, Izzy left the earrings beside the god-awful tea Autumn had tried to poison her with. Then she slipped out the back of the tent and made her way through the market.

She realized now, she’d honestly thought Autumn would take her side. Which was stupid. Of course Autumn would stand by her son, even if he was going against everything the woman believed in. She wasn’t like Izzy’s parents.

It sucked that Izzy didn’t have any adults in her life willing to defend her no matter what, but that was all the more reason for her to find her own inner strength. When she went off to college, she knew she wouldn’t reinvent herself completely. She didn’t love everything about herself, but she certainly liked the person she was enough to
know that she wasn’t going to trade her in for a newer model the second she left Paris. She had too much self-respect for that.

One thing was certain—regardless of what Autumn or River thought, she certainly hadn’t
smothered
him. She had more follow-through than that. If she’d smothered him, he’d be dead by now.

Izzy spent a few more minutes wandering around the farmers’ market. Now that she wasn’t dating River, she wouldn’t be coming back anytime soon. She bought a smoothie to chase away the horrible taste of the ginger maté tea, then she wandered over to the gourmet candy booth, needing chocolate therapy. Her relationship with River was truly over. Though after the visit with Autumn, Izzy wasn’t even sure she felt sorry about it.

She’d always thought of Autumn as such a kind, nurturing soul. Today, she’d been too laid-back. Too easygoing. Too … what was the word for it?