The Intersection of Purgatory and Paradise (15 page)

“Connected?”

“Yeah. I….” He grimaced. “I can’t. I… I used to be able to deal with this kind of thing, I swear I could. But now….”

Christopher couldn’t decide if he wanted to push Doug into talking about his time in Miami again. “I could never work sex crimes, either,” he said. “It would just be a matter of time before I snapped and shot a suspect in the head. And even if I told Delgado about the shit that happened to me as a kid, he never would have understood.” Christopher knew that wasn’t exactly fair. Ray always projected an easygoing, relaxed attitude, but he was always observing, analyzing, and assessing everything around him. He would have understood why Christopher was inclined to freak out, but he would have expected Christopher to bury those impulses and stay professional. And he’d have been the one to arrest Christopher if he’d failed.

“I’m stuck investigating the suicide because they refuse to consider a connection and because Marshall said ‘our type should stick together like that.’”

Christopher sat up on his elbow. “He actually said that?”

“Yeah.”

“He didn’t seem like such a dick when he came out to the house.”

“It’s when they all get together. He’s polite when it’s just him.”

“I guess that explains his kid.”

“Huh?” Doug looked confused.

“Oh, his son, Nate. I ran into him at the sheriff’s office this afternoon when I was looking for you. He was really broken up about Caleb Owens, but he couldn’t seem to care less about his buddy, Lowe. I wonder if they were closer than his dad wants to admit.”

“But Nate was in the SUV when Jeff Lowe threw that rock at you. And he was one of the guys who used to bully Owens in school.”

“He said his dad forced him to hang around with Lowe. If they were good friends, and people who knew Owens was gay had started to wonder about Nate, I could see his father getting upset about it.”

“But Nate Marshall’s on the football team. He’s dating girls all the time. I’ve even seen the kid’s prom picture on Marshall’s desk.”

Christopher scoffed. “You were on the wrestling team,” he pointed out. “And there’s a cheesy picture of you and Brittney all dolled up as teenagers on the wall in your mom’s old study.”

Doug considered it for a moment. “Yeah, maybe.”

“At least you get to do something,” Christopher pointed out. “If you were in a bigger department, they’d suspend you until they closed this case.”

“I know.” Doug stared down at him for a moment, his lips pressed into a thin line.

Christopher poked him in the hip. “Spit it out.”

“Spit what out?”

“Whatever you’re thinking about saying. You only hold your breath like that when you’re debating about whether or not saying something is a good idea.”

“Fine. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I thought everybody would get used to knowing I’m gay if we weren’t obvious about it. I thought they’d get over it and move on. And they never did. I’m sorry I didn’t do more to—”

“What do you think you could have done?”

“Taken you to the Spring Picnic. And the Christmas party. And out to the bar every single weekend so they’d have to get used to seeing us together.”

Christopher ran his fingers over Doug’s hip and up his chest. “It probably wouldn’t have made things any better. Besides, I have issues with Christmas.”

“I know. But it isn’t a religious Christmas party, just social, and I still should have tried.”

Christopher rubbed small circles around Doug’s nipple, desperate to feel his skin again, to remind himself Doug was real. “It’s not about you standing up for me, Doug. In fact, the last few days, I’ve come to think maybe it’s the other way around. You didn’t deserve the things that bastard did to you, and you don’t deserve the way people in Elkin treat you. I’ve followed your lead with people in town, but what I should have been doing was calling them on it.”

“You need to understand, it’s….”

“I know it’s complicated. You know what the people who respect you claim is one of your most commendable traits?”

“Hmm?”

“They say you never play the race card for special treatment,” Christopher practically spat the words. “You never point out when they’re acting like racist dicks, so they never have to choose between getting angry and feeling guilty.”

“I am well aware of that,” Doug insisted. “But if I get confrontational about it, it’ll just reinforce their beliefs. The only way to change people’s minds is to show them an example of a man from the reservation who doesn’t fit their stereotypes and let them come around on their own.”

“You’re a better man than me,” Christopher said.

“Can we not worry about everyone else right now?” Doug asked, catching Christopher’s hand in his.

“Anything you want. But I reserve the right to be a confrontational asshole whenever it seems like the appropriate thing to do.” He settled against Doug’s shoulder again. “Like that story you told me once about your mom, how she chased her folks out of your driveway with a baseball bat when they were rude.”

Doug chuckled beneath him. “There was nothing appropriate about that.”

“Not on the reservation, but it got the point across with her parents.”

Doug shifted onto his side. “I’ve got to show you something cool I saved from the garage.”

Christopher rubbed his cheek against Doug’s bicep. “Right now?”

“No. Right now, I want….” Doug held his breath again.

After a moment, Christopher cocked his head to the side. “I said anything, didn’t I?”

“Can I handcuff you?”

A tingle of electricity ignited in Christopher’s groin, and his cock swelled with interest. “Like, with your actual cuffs?”

“If you don’t want to, it’s—”

Christopher rolled over and pushed up onto his hands and knees. “You want to cuff me to the bedframe? Or I guess we could figure out something with that chair.” He nodded at the small desk where an old wooden chair sat.

“I want you on your back,” Doug said, shoving him down on the mattress.

Doug threw the blankets off the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. He came out a moment later with their half-used bottle of silicone lube from his bag. He tossed it on the bed next to Christopher and then pulled his hinged cuffs from the case on his belt. His smooth cock, flaccid before they’d crawled into bed, was erect and full. Christopher licked his lips at the sight of it, but he stayed still and waited for Doug.

He knelt beside Christopher, ratcheted the clasp of one cuff all the way through, and then closed it around Christopher’s wrist.

“Would it be lame to ask if you’re sure you have a key?” Christopher asked, offering his other wrist.

Doug smirked, looped the hinge that held the cuffs together around the bottom of the headboard, and secured Christopher’s other wrist. “You know, I might not,” he teased.

Christopher spread his legs and tried to roll his hips to give Doug as much access as he might want, but Doug swatted his legs back together. He knelt beside Christopher, locking his gaze on Christopher’s face while he reached for the lube.

Christopher stared at Doug’s hands, mesmerized by the way he rubbed the clear lube over his fingers. For a moment, Christopher wondered if Doug intended to slick up and take him without stretching him at all. They’d fucked each other often enough that it wouldn’t be bad, but Doug didn’t move toward his cock or Christopher’s opening. Instead, Doug spread his legs and reached back over the curve of his own ass.

Christopher swallowed hard, his cock throbbing as he watched Doug touch himself.

“You don’t….” He wanted to say something reassuring, promise Doug he didn’t have to do this, but when Doug rolled his shoulders and arched his back as he delved inside, his objections evaporated. Doug’s body was smooth, the only hair anywhere other than on his head was a soft dusting of dark curls around his balls, and the way he fucked his fingers made Christopher so hard, his cock hurt. Doug used his other hand to stroke himself slowly, and Christopher began to rock his hips in time with each stroke.

“I want you,” Doug whispered. “I want to enjoy this again.”

“You look like you’re enjoying it. And I could get off just watching you,” Christopher said honestly.

Doug shuddered and dropped his head back, his slow breaths coming in deep, focused huffs. When he looked at Christopher again, he slid his gaze down Christopher’s body hungrily. He shifted on top of him, settling his knees on either side of Christopher’s hips and lining himself up.

Christopher forced himself to stay still, to hold on. “If you don’t want this….”

Doug met his gaze and smiled, a soft genuine smile. The fear and uncertainty Christopher had glimpsed in his eyes in San Diego was gone now, but Christopher kept as still as possible, hardly breathing. If Doug needed to be in control to enjoy being fucked, Christopher would yield every decision, every movement to him.

Doug leaned forward until his face was an inch from Christopher’s. He hovered there, staring at him with glazed eyes. “I’m sure,” Doug said simply.

He sat back and wrapped his fingers around the base of Christopher’s cock. He trailed his fingers up slowly, wiping the rest of the lube onto Christopher’s skin as he moved. When he tweaked his thumb over Christopher’s flared head, Christopher twitched in his hands. Doug found the lube once more and coated Christopher from root to tip before guiding Christopher’s cock to his opening.

Christopher kept his gaze locked on Doug’s eyes, watching for the flash of panic he remembered. The head of his cock slipped past the tight ring of muscle, then into the slick heat beyond. Moving so slow it was agonizing, Doug’s body enveloped him. As Doug settled on him, Christopher tried to grab his hips only to end up pulling against the handcuffs. “I can’t touch you,” he gasped, almost laughing.

“You are touching me,” Doug breathed. He set his hands on Christopher’s chest and rocked a little. He shifted back and leaned forward. “Can you…?”

Christopher thrust up gently, hardly moving a centimeter off the bed. He studied Doug’s reactions, watched the spasm roll up his body.

“Like that,” Doug said, nodding. “Harder, like that.”

“Anything you want,” Christopher promised, thrusting a bit higher. When Doug gasped, he pulled back a little and thrust again. Doug met him midthrust, pushing down onto him with the same desperate, brutal drive he always used when he took Christopher.

When Doug tensed around him, he froze, panting to catch his breath. “Doug, are you okay? You still with me?”

Doug’s eyes were still open, but Christopher couldn’t tell what he was focusing on. His mouth hung open, his face twisted into a silent scream. “I’m so fucking close,” he gasped. “Just don’t stop!”

“Say my name. Just so I know for sure.”

He writhed on top of Christopher, his eyes still glazed and lost. “Christopher,” he whispered. “Now fucking move!”

Christopher laughed with relief. “Anything you want,” he said again before snapping his hips up hard enough his balls slapped against Doug’s skin. Watching Doug constantly, he slipped out and thrust back in fast, his well-developed endurance allowing him to maintain a pace he knew would drive Doug over the edge.

He was so focused on gauging Doug’s reaction, the tingling sensation coiling inside him erupted before he could stop it. He pushed in once more, emptying himself inside Doug as the relief surged down his legs and through his chest. “Damn it,” he hissed, pulling against the handcuffs until the skin around his palms hurt. “I want to touch you.”

Doug chuckled and sat back, lodging Christopher’s half-limp cock deep inside him. He ran his hands down Christopher’s chest and up his thighs, where he wrapped his fingers around his throbbing cock. “It won’t take much anyway,” Doug said, stroking himself. As he coaxed himself toward orgasm, he leaned back, rocking on Christopher’s cock still. He came with a strangled yell, splattering Christopher’s nipple and chest before collapsing onto Christopher’s chest with Christopher still inside him.

When he caught his breath, he lifted his head and grinned at Christopher.

“Good?” Christopher asked, although he had ample evidence all over his chest Doug had enjoyed it.

Doug dropped his head down onto Christopher’s collarbone. “So much better than I remembered. Can we do that more often?”

“That depends.”

Doug glanced up again. “On what?”

“Can we get novelty cuffs? I know no one but an idiot uses anything but hinged cuffs on the job, but these hurt.”

“Shit.” Doug rolled off him and grabbed his keys. The basic handcuff key on his key chain had Christopher free in seconds. “Sorry.”

“I’m the one who thought I could pull my wrists free,” Christopher pointed out, rubbing the tender skin where he’d almost squished his hands enough to get free. “If you don’t want to drive all the way to an adult toy store, we could use some of your climbing rope, but that might not be any better.”

Doug grinned. “I love you.”

He tossed the cuffs and his keys onto the floor by his clothes.

He shifted like he was going to get up again, but Christopher wrapped his arms around him and pulled him back onto the pillows. “Love you too. Stay here. We can shower in the morning.”

“But….”

Christopher locked his arms around Doug so Doug was nestled against him. “Mine,” he whispered. “If you wake up and the feeling freaks you out, just remember it’s my cum leaking out of your ass. Mine. And then wake me up and tell me about it, because that’s fucking hot.”

“I guess it’s worth a shot,” Doug admitted. “If I wake up and smack you tonight, though….”

Christopher yawned on cue and nodded. “Sleep. You’ve got work tomorrow, and I’ve got a busy day of jogging and being lazy ahead of me.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“So long as your gun’s out of reach, I can take anything you can dish out,” he promised. He kissed the top of Doug’s head and fell asleep, lulled by the familiar scent of Doug’s hair.

But Doug didn’t wake him. There wasn’t a single nightmare. Doug slept beside him until the alarm on his phone vibrated at five the next morning. They showered together, Doug glaring at him and laughing as he washed the dried cum off his legs. He rode out to the house with Doug, then followed him back into town in his car. From the parking lot behind the sheriff’s office, Doug waved him into the lot.