The Invisible Chains - Part 2: Bonds of Fear (30 page)

his eyes when Arranulf came out of his room.

“And what?” Arranulf yawned.

“How did it go?”

“How did what go?”

“Don’t play with my feet, as we say in Ramaldah. You were seen,

Landemere.”

“Seen?”

“Yes, seen. In The Cranky Goat. With Hemarchidas. Just the two

of you. Having a romantic dinner.”

“Ah, yes, Eynurm of Tarnwood was there. The blabbermouth. He

told you already?”

“Last evening. In The Hole. Now give, man.”

“There’s not much to tell. We had dinner and—”

“No, no, no. From the beginning. How did you meet? Did he invite

you, or did you ask him, and most importantly, what happened after

dinner?”

“Why do you even care? I was under the impression that, eh, our

kind of goings-on were slightly distasteful to your male sensibilities.”

“They are. They are. What can I say? I’m a romantic at heart, as

you must have noticed. Besides, I care about the emotional welfare

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of my friends, and believe me, when I have to picture something, I

make some subtle adjustments.”

Arranulf rolled his eyes, sat down at the table and sighed. Obyann

joined him.

“Dish the dirt, man,” he prodded his friend.

“Oh, all right then, but there’s really not much to tell. He invited

me to dinner in his barrack—”

“Patriph?” Obyann shuddered.

“No. We talked for a while and then went for a ride. He took me to

the sea, to the beach. Come evening he invited me to dinner, just like

tattletale Tarnwood reported to everybody in The Hole, no doubt.

Then we rode back to his barrack and—”

“Aha.”

“No. Nothing aha. Just a few cups of wine and some more talk.

That was it.”

Obyann snorted.

“So, you finally get the opportunity to, eh, get some, and you let it

slip out of your hands?” Obyann asked, unbelief dripping of his voice.

Then he added “Did that sound wrong?”

Arranulf looked at him, and suddenly he had trouble keeping his

eyes from tearing up.

“He... he just was... he acted all...”

“Was he rude to you? Did he hurt your feelings? Wait till I get my

hands on the creep. I’ll hurt him so severely his ass will give him—”

“No, no, no. He was kind. He was civil. He was charming. He asked

me about my childhood, and he told me cute stories from when he

was a little boy himself. We talked about the coming war, he asked

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my opinion, and he took me seriously. He treated me like—”

“One of his favorite Cheridonian fourbloods?”

“Worse. Like his younger brother.”

A single tear rolled out of the eye with the mandotmeros, which

looked grayish and dull. Obyann’s face flushed pink.

“Oh no. Don’t do this. Arranulf, my friend, my mate, my buddy, my

brother in arms, come on, no, no, not the waterworks, you’ll make

me cry too.”

“Sorry.” Arranulf sniffed. “It’s just... It’s just that I feel as if I’ve

been dumped in the most kindest way, even before there was

anything between us. He was so... so gentle about it and he never

said anything about... about us, but still it was so obvious.”

“He still has a thing for the prince?”

“No. No, I don’t think so. In fact, I’m sure that’s over and done

with. They’re still friends, of course. No, it felt more as if he was

comparing me to him.”

He looked at Obyann, his eyes filled with despair.

“I cannot compete with him. With that. The prince will always be

the one who got away. The golden boy. The unattainable, perfect love.

And just because there never was anything between them, the image

of that love will always be untarnished. He will always be wondering

‘What if?’ And he will always be comparing the drab reality to that

warm, colorful picture that was never painted.”

Obyann remained silent for a while, with deep grooves in his

brow.

“Now, now,” he said eventually, “not so pessimistic. You’re not

chopped liver yourself, you know.”

“But how can I compete with the prince?” Arranulf said, almost

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235

sobbing. “How? How? Have you looked at them together? Have you?

I have. The prince is almost two years older than I am, and he looks

more the young, spirited, warm-hearted boy than I ever did. Have

you seen him jump upon his horse? Heard him laugh? Heard him call

Hemarchidas, as if the sight of him alone had brightened his day? He

is positively radiating affection, he is full of energy, enthusiasm. He

looks soft and inviting, and yet everybody who sees him, surrounded

by his men, immediately knows who gives the orders. He can be

hard as nails, yet you know that he could show you heaven if only he

wanted to. They want him to give them orders, just to hear his voice.

He... I will never be able to measure up to him. Never.”

“Not so fast, not so fast. You’ve got qualities too. Hemarchidas

just needs to notice and learn to appreciate them.”

“What qualities? Name one. Just one.”

Obyann became a deeper shade of red.

“Well, eh, well... Ha, I know. You’re very dignified, and quiet, and

you always have that vague, little smile upon your lips, and you don’t

say very much, and you’re quiet... I said that already, didn’t I?”

“You mean I’m dull. Boring.”

“No, no. And you’re...” He gulped. “You’re really, eh, very, eh,

rather... well, nice to look at.”

Arranulf looked at him and almost smiled.

“You think so?”

“Eh... yeah. Of course. Of course, I think so,” Obyann said, whipping

himself into an enthusiastic frenzy. “You’ve got nice eyes. Well, you’ve

got one nice eye. And then the freaky one. But, but, that makes you

interesting. Very fascinating. Yes. And you’re nicely built. Of course

you could stand to gain a few pounds. A lot of them, actually. And,

personally, I would prefer other, eh, equipment, but that’s just me.

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Otherwise...”

He let the sentence trail off and bit on a knuckle.

“What you’re saying is that if only I were a fat girl without the

mandotmeros I would be... nice?”

Obyann looked very unhappy.

“No, no. I’m not very good at this, am I?”

“No. You’re not. You stink at it,” Arranulf smiled through his tears.

“But thanks for trying.”

“Well, we have at least ten days before he returns from the Plains.

We’ll think of something by then. You’ll see.”

Arranulf watched him, while he got up.

“Look, I’ve got to go,” Obyann said. “Don’t fall apart on me,

neighbor, you hear me? You never know how a cow catches a hare,

as we say in Ramaldah. Not that you’re a cow. Not at all. I mean... I’m

going to shut up now. Just keep it together, will you?”

Arranulf nodded. In passing, Obyann patted him from behind on

the shoulder, leaned over and planted a light kiss on his head.

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237

“What I mean, son,” Volcko of Iramid said, “is that if you are going

to act the whore, you could as well make it count.”

Lorcko gasped, but he didn’t blush. He was used to his father’s

bluntness. He pricked with his two pronged fork in a piece of meat.

“So, you know about my sexual escapades?” he asked tentatively.

“Of course I do. Since you were ten or so.”

This time Lorcko
did
blush.

When Iramid senior had gotten his son a position as page, he had

lectured him that he didn’t want to see him under any circumstances.

He was to forget that his father was a general in the Northern Army,

and he forbade Lorcko to contact him under any pretext whatsoever.

After all, the other pages couldn’t run to their father as well. There

was one exception. The weekly dinner that Volcko insisted upon his

son should attend.

“Typical,”
Lorcko had thought at the time.
“Every contact is

forbidden, except the one that is allowed, and that one is compulsory.”

Every week, they convened in a private room in an inn, some

eight miles to the south of Lorseth.

“My ancient Baltoc teacher... you knew about him?”

“Yes. About his son as well. Between you and me: he wasn’t that

good a teacher.”

Lorcko stared blankly at him.

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“You weren’t shocked?” he asked.

“Not particularly, no. Granted you were a bit young, but I thought

you were just being precocious. Just as you were with reading and

writing. Now that I come to think about it, your late mother was a bit

worried, but her concerns were more of a physical nature.”

“Meaning?”

“Oh, it had mostly to do with sizes of orifices and sizes of things

that could fit in them, if memory serves. Since you didn’t complain

about anything, her fears were quickly laid to rest anyhow. You

seemed happy enough.”

“I see,” Lorcko said, still feeling somewhat uneasy. “The farmer

boys? Kids of the servants? My little friends, sons of knights and

such, you organized for me? You knew about them?”

Iramid senior served himself a choice rabbit leg.

“Of course. I myself don’t share your sexual predilections, but I

like to think of myself as broadminded. Even so, your taste surprised

me, aesthetically speaking. To each his own, I suppose. You have to

try the rabbit. It’s divine.”

“They... they seemed to resent it... when they understood that it

was only something to pass the time. That they were only...”

He didn’t finish the sentence. His father looked up from his plate.

“And that troubles you?”

“Lately it began bothering me, yes.”

Volcko shrugged and wiped his lips with a napkin.

“I wouldn’t worry about it too much, son. Certainly not about the

peasants and the servants. They don’t feel things as we do.”

“They’re human.”

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239

“Barely. They might as well be another species. What would

happen without us to keep them in check? They wouldn’t work the

land. They would be at each other’s throat if we weren’t there to

restrain them. Face it, they are driven by their instincts. Granted, that

is a generalization, and there are some individuals who rise above

that. Personally I think that is how the nobility originated. Even

today, with the help of the Gods, hard work and some luck such a

man can rise above his station. But as a group...”

“Does that make it right for us to mistreat them?” Lorcko asked.

“No, certainly not. We are not cruel to our horses. However, if

necessary we will ride them till they collapse under us. If necessary.

Why this concern?”

“I was thinking about some occasions that were, eh, far more

enjoyable for me than for them.”

“Well, did you maim them? Cripple them?”

“No, no, of course I didn’t,” Lorcko answered, his tone indignant.

“So, nothing permanent? Well, then don’t worry about it. See, our

task in life demands of us a certain degree of firmness, aggressiveness

even. We need it to prevent that the whole world succumbs to chaos.

Inevitably some of that, eh, dynamic force bleeds through to other

areas. I wouldn’t worry too much about it, if I were you.”

“They didn’t seem to like it.”

“Maybe not. They also don’t like tilling the fields, or dredging

the moat for their lord. We have to force them to do it. Otherwise it

would be the end of civilization. We make the world an organized

place. We keep it as safe for them as we can. Don’t you think they owe

us something in return? Obedience, for example?”

“Sexual obedience?”

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“Why not? To fulfill our responsibilities we need to be in excellent

physical and mental condition. Whatever helps us maintain that

condition, well, they should be honored to help us with that.”

Lorcko looked doubtfully at his father.

“I don’t want to pry, so feel free to decline to answer, but what is

it that you like? Do you beat them? Whip them, maybe?”

“No, no, nothing like that,” Lorcko answered horrified. “I... I... I

just like the feeling that they will do my bidding.”