The Jaguar's Arranged Mate: A Paranormal Shifter Romance (19 page)

“I believe she will too.”

But if the baby were to die…

The nurse ducked out of the room, as if she didn’t want him to voice that very question.

Maybe, just maybe, if he were to tell her how he felt, how desperately he hadn’t wanted to lose her, how much he cared for her, that would be enough for her to start healing.

No. If he was being completely honest, he didn’t just care for her. He loved her.

He stared down at her. She was sleeping too peacefully for him to wake her and explain things to her now. When she woke up, he would confess his feelings.

A sudden scream had him easing Miera off of his chest and onto the bed. He hurried around the bed to the window and shoved aside the curtain. Brutal Claws in jaguar forms were attacking anyone on the street.

Rage and anger filled him, and Beric rushed over to the door. He hesitated, turned around, and walked back to the bed. Tenderly, he brushed Miera’s hair back and kissed her forehead. She sighed, seemingly content, still asleep.

Beric ran out of the door and the makeshift hospital and entered into the battle. So great was his anger that he quickly took down two Brutal Claws. He surveyed the battle and spied a Teal Warrior facing a Brutal Claw next to a Blood Rose squaring off against another foe. Beric helped the Teal Warrior bring down his Brutal Claw, and the two of them and the Blood Rose handled the second easily.

He glanced around to see which one to take on next when he heard the clashing of claws right beside him.

The Teal Warrior and the Blood Rose were engaging in battle… with each other.

How could they dare do such a horrible thing right now? But before he could move to stop them, Beric noticed there were other similar battles going on all around them. Too few of their people were actually engaging the real enemy. What the hell was wrong with them?

Beric nipped at the two of them, snapping his jaws and forcing them apart. When he was certain they wouldn’t engage each other again, he did his best to lure Brutal Claws toward the other Teal Warriors and Blood Roses who were fighting among themselves with the hope they would change their focus and kill the real enemy.

For a good two hours, the battle raged. Soon, only five Brutal Claws remained then four. Three, two… Beric himself took down the last Brutal Claw, one of his hind legs on the were-jaguar’s throat.

He shifted into human form and stepped off the dead Brutal Claw to stand on the steps of the nearest house. Far too many of their people had fallen. Far too many had been slayed by allies. Yes, they had survived the battle, but they would not live through another one if they could not find common ground.

And he had no idea how to bring them together.

CHAPTER 15

Miera woke feeling restful, despite having dreamed about something terrible that she couldn’t quite recall. She stretched, reaching for Beric, only he wasn’t there. She hadn’t dreamed about falling asleep on him, had she? She didn’t think so. His arm had been around her, and she had rested her head on his chest, and it had felt so right. She had fallen asleep pretending there hadn’t been a war, that they were in their house, in their bed, that they actually lived together as were-jaguar and wife…

Somehow, despite his pushing her away, she had fallen for him. He had been such a pillar of strength for her during her labor and delivery. Walking around the room, leaning on him because she wouldn’t have been able to stand without his help, she realized just how much she needed him. She couldn’t blame him for throwing himself so hard into his role of alpha. She probably would’ve done the same thing. Yes, she wished he had turned to her, but he had been there for her when she needed him the most.

He was strong and capable, even if he didn’t see that in himself. Just the thought of him being alpha made her absurdly proud. Despite his struggles, he didn’t strike her as the kind to give up. And she wasn’t going to give up either, not on their people or on them and their marriage.

The thought caused her body to burn almost too hot, and when the sweat went away, she felt stronger than she had since before she’d realized she was pregnant. She threw off the covers and walked over to the window. The curtains had been hastily pushed aside, and she stared out to see blood and carnage.

Another battle had taken place, and from the were-jaguars loitering around, the battle was coming to an end or had just ended.

Miera ran out of the room. Her speed surprised her. She felt good. Far better than she had, far better than she would have thought possible. She wasn’t going to complain about it—it felt good to be back—but what had caused the change?

No time to question it.

She didn’t make it far before Carla, the nurse, stopped her. “You look better. How are you—”

“My baby. My son. Where is he?”

“He’s with the doctors. They’re trying to—”

“Where?” She didn’t have time for nonsense.

Carla gaped at her harsh tone then nodded. “Follow me.” She led her down the hallway to the last door on the left. Helen’s house was huge, and it worked well as a makeshift hospital.

Miera entered the room. It felt more like a hospital than the room she’d had been. Maybe from the smell of antiseptic. There was a bed and a crib and doctors bustling about.

“Is he stable?” she asked.

No one even looked her way.

“Is he stable?” she shouted.

The doctors stared at her. The one who had delivered the baby grimaced. “Not exactly.”

She pushed her way forward to stand by the crib. Her son looked so small and helpless. She just wanted to cry.

With careful deliberation, she unhooked him from the lines and monitors. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw the doctors looking at each other, heard their murmurings but not the words they were saying, and she just didn’t care.

Miera picked up her son and cradled him to her chest. He had cried slightly while she’d freed him, but as soon as she placed him on her chest, he stopped. Tears did fall now, and she had to wait until her vision cleared for her to be able to walk out of the room.

Slowly, carefully, she left the house, no longer willing to run. Her baby was breathing a little heavy, or so she thought, and she did not want to risk moving too fast and hurting him. He seemed so frail and small, like he could break easily. Maybe bringing him outside would doom him, but something had to be done to rally her people, to inspire their people, and she couldn’t think of a better way than showing them what—no, who—they were fighting for.

The crowd of were-jaguars left standing from the aftermath of the battle fell into a hushed silence as she walked through them to stand beside Beric on the porch of a house. There was something in his gaze that tugged at her heart. He seemed happy to see her, and his eyes lit up when he saw the baby in her arms, but he seemed… angry. Yes, fury was rolling off of him, and the baby stirred in her arms, wailing.

“What is it?” she whispered to him, swaying her body and trying to soothe the baby as best she could.

“They were fighting each other.”

“Fighting?” She choked out the word.

He stared down at her before facing the crowd. “Killing.”

She felt cold and gasped. “No.”

Beric cleared his throat. “Teal Warriors, please listen to me. There is no reason for any of you to dare rise up against the Blood Roses. They are our guests here—”

“No.” Miera hated to contradict him, but he was wrong. “We are not guests here. We Blood Roses are one with the Teal Warriors. We are not two packs.”

Beric nodded and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Some of her coldness melted away, her body warming at his touch. “We are one pack. We are united both for our fight against the real enemy, the Brutal Claws—”

“And afterward,” Miera said loudly. The baby was still crying, although a little quieter now. “If we want to have a future…” She held up the baby, who immediately started to wail so she brought him back to her chest, where he settled albeit uneasily. “We all want a future, and the only way to have one is to fight together.”

“Fighting each other will only destroy all of us,” Beric added.

Grumblings came from the crowd, and Miera’s heart sank when she realized there was a clear division in the group. To the left, reflecting where Beric stood, were the Teal Warriors. Likewise, the Blood Roses were to the right, in front of her.

The grumblings grew louder, and Miera swallowed hard. She couldn’t help feeling overwhelmed. Her baby needed her, or so she liked to think, although there was no guarantee her baby would live for much longer.

There was no guarantee any of them would live for much longer.

Her father made his way to the front and glowered at the Teal Warriors. “They are the reason why the Brutal Claws keep coming inside. Their fence should prevent them from entering, yet they still come and come. One or more of them is helping them.”

A Teal Warrior, an older one, glowered right back. “We would never dare endanger ourselves. I agree there is a traitor, but we all know the traitor is a Blood Rose.” And he spat toward her father’s feet.

There was pushing and shoving and blows exchanged, and Beric had to physically break up several fights. Miera refused to show her horrified fear. Her baby was crying again, and honestly, she wanted to cry too. If they didn’t learn who the traitor was—because she had to agree with them that there was one—there was no way the two sides would ever trust each other, and without trust, they would never fight together.

She cradled the baby to her chest. How could her father of all people voice such displeasure with the other pack? He had agreed that her marriage was their best option. Did he hate her because of her out of wedlock pregnancy so much that he would risk their own pack being destroyed? She glared at him, ready to call him out, but he stalked away.
Like a petulant child.

Beric had broken up enough of the fights that the were-jaguars were slowly leaving. A Teal Warrior walked right in front of her. “Whore.” He spat at her.

She hadn’t even thought about their reaction to the baby. Most would assume the child was Beric’s, but the smarter ones would realize the timeline didn’t quite match up. She should have anticipated their judgment, their hatred. She had given into battle lust, and now her baby was hardly alive.

There’s no point in looking back.

The crowd had slipped away, and Beric returned to her side. “Stay here while I quickly check the fence.”

She hated that he was leaving her side, but he shifted to his were-jaguar form and was off already. In no time at all, he returned. Wordlessly, he wrapped his arm around her and guided her back to Helen’s house. Once she sat on her bed, she tried to nurse for the first time. The baby immediately gagged. If he wouldn’t eat, he definitely wouldn’t thrive.

She attempted to nurse again, and the baby tried again, but she had no idea what she was doing, so she couldn’t be sure if he was getting anything or not.

“There’s only one thing we can do,” Beric said suddenly. He had been standing by the window, but now he came to sit down on the edge of the bed.

“What’s that?” She was feeling tired again, but not because her body was weak. She was tired of fighting, tired of being worried, tired of feeling as if they were doomed.

“There has to be someone helping the Brutal Claws. Maybe they promised that were-jaguar protection, promised to allow them to join them, I don’t know, but someone is helping them. The fence is secure. I ran all along the perimeter, and there is no damage to it, none at all. They had to have climbed over it again, and the only way that could have happened is if someone aided them because of all the additional patrols we have set up.”

“We have to find whoever the traitor is.”

Beric nodded. “Exactly. I know we want them to try to work things out together, but it might be best if I try and seek out the Teal Warriors and see if any of them are the traitor.”

“And I’ll do the same with the Blood Roses.” She wanted to brush his hair from his forehead, to lie down with him again, to feel protected and safe for once. But she was heir to a pack that was facing annihilation, and she had to be strong, or at least as strong as she could be. “I’ll also deal with my father.”

Beric frowned. “Father-in-law from hell,” he muttered.

Surprised, she burst out laughing. The baby shifted and stirred in her arms, his eyes closed. She hadn’t seen his eyes open yet. Would she ever see his eye color?

“I shouldn’t have said that.” Beric sounded apologetic, and he rubbed the back of his neck.

“No. Believe me, I’ve not been thinking kindly toward him lately.” She sighed. “I know he’s angry with me—”

“He has no right to be.”

Miera gaped at him. “He’s my father, and I disappointed him.”

“You’re human.” His lips quirked into a smile as he patted her leg. “Well, half human, half jaguar, but you’re strong and capable. So you might have made a mistake? Who cares? We all make mistakes.”

“Might have made a mistake?” she repeated softly.

Beric nodded to the baby in her arms. “You don’t regret having him, do you?”

Tears burned her eyes as she shook her head.

“Then it wasn’t a mistake. It was meant to be.” His smile grew, and he stood. “And if he’s meant to have a future, we need to be able to figure out a way to root out the traitor before they bring all of the Brutal Claws on us.”

Miera watched him leave. Locating the traitor wouldn’t be easy, but she sure hoped they found him or her soon. She’d kill the traitor herself, regardless of if he or she turned out to be a Teal Warrior or a Blood Rose. No one would prevent the packs from uniting and standing up against the Brutal Claws. No one would prevent their attempt to secure happiness and a future. No one.

*

Beric had made a note of the Teal Warriors who had taken part in the battle, and those who had not. He made a round at the hospital to see who was wounded, and newly so, and was assured the doctors and nurses had everything they needed to tend to them. Several were-jaguars, however, he still hadn’t seen, including his best friend Mark. And he wanted to locate Sam.

As he headed for the mess hall, a reasonable place to start his search for the traitor, he spied Jess leaving it. She had her right arm in a cast, but otherwise, the were-jaguar looked strong and healthy.

He waved her over. “Have you seen Mark lately?”

Jess blushed. “No. Not since… ah, well, last night.” She couldn’t look at him.

Beric refrained from rolling his eyes. The two had a history, and it seemed they were back together again, although Beric wasn’t sure if Mark could ever truly forgive Jess for cheating on him the last time they had been together.

“So you don’t know where he is?” he asked.

She shook her head. “No. We, ah, usually only spend time together at night.”

More information than he needed.

“If you see him, tell him to find me,” he instructed.

“Yeah. Sure. Whatever you want.” Jess rushed away, head down, steps quick and forceful, as if she couldn’t get away from him fast enough. For liking sex so much, Beric was surprised she was so shy.

Or maybe that was all an act. Maybe Jess had another reason for not wanting to be around Beric.

His paranoia was reaching an all-time high. At this rate, he’d be questioning whether Mark could be the traitor instead of asking him to help sniff out the traitor.

Inside the mess hall, Teal Warriors and Blood Roses alike were eating meager portions on opposite sides of the building. Beric strolled down the center aisle and finally found Sam. He was devouring his food as if there would be none tomorrow.

Beric sat across from him.

Sam glanced up. “Running on no sleep,” he muttered. “Trying to keep my strength up. The fence is secure. I know it is. I checked and double checked and all the repairs and everything have been completed, and there haven’t been any signs of them trying to break it again. How they came over with all of our guards… I just don’t know. I mean, yeah, the fence is long and we need more people to watch it, but we’re doing the best we can and…” Sam never looked more his age than he did at this moment. He wearily rubbed his face. Normally, he was clean-shaven, but days’ old stubble prickled his chin and cheeks. “You gave me a job, and I failed you.”