The Jalna Saga – Deluxe Edition: All Sixteen Books of the Enduring Classic Series & The Biography of Mazo de la Roche (362 page)

Finch was strangely glad to hear these words on his uncle’s lips… “A heartless hussy,” he repeated to himself.

Some days after he sought out Eden, who had known Arthur and Sarah during their short courtship. Eden was looking splendid, he thought. It was difficult to think of him as having been ill a few months before. Meggie had done wonders for him. He had quite taken possession of the Vaughans’ sitting room and they thought twice before entering it. He sat now, with writing things about him, and a worried expression on his handsome face.

“It’s very disappointing,” he said, “that Leigh should go off like this just when I counted on him to help me to some sort of job.”

Finch was not shocked at Eden’s callousness. Indeed he was not at all sure that it was callousness. Eden simply bowed his head to the arbitrary workings of fate. He was not given to self-pity, except in the form of occasional petulant remarks.

“It is too bad,” agreed Finch. “What did you think of doing?”

“Anything! I can’t sponge indefinitely on Meg and Maurice with the wolf at their door. I had thought that Leigh, with his connections, might get me appointed as lecturer in English somewhere or other. Or even in an office or bank. I’ve tried all the newspapers but the editors don’t want anything. I showed one of them some articles on Paris and London but he wasn’t interested in Paris or London. I suppose I’ll end in running an elevator.”

“I should think that any of those indoor jobs would be bad for you. You should have outdoor work.”

Eden drew a woman’s face of the classic type on the blotter in front of him and said irrelevantly:

“I suppose Sarah will be left awfully well off.”

“She’ll be rich. Leigh’s mother and sister are well provided for. I expect he would leave everything to Sarah.”

A mischievous smile lit up Eden’s face.

“Now is your opportunity. That girl was crazy about you. She cared nothing about Leigh. Meg tells me that they were unhappy together. You’re a fool if you don’t—”

“Shut up!” exclaimed Finch. “If you have no sense of decency, I have. You talk like this, and they probably haven’t even found Arthur’s body yet!” His voice broke. “Don’t you care in the least that he is dead?”

A bleakness came over Eden’s face, giving it a closed-in look. He ran his hand quickly over his hair and picked up a freshly sharpened pencil. He said:

“I wish you wouldn’t come bothering me, just when I’ve something worth while in my head.”

Finch sprang up offended. “Sorry… I’m going now. I want to find Meg.” He reddened with anger.

Meg was all sympathy, crying over young Leigh as she ate toasted currant bun from a tray in her own room.

“That’s just the way,” she said. “The young and beautiful are taken. As for me, I’ve never really got over Gran’s death. Sometimes I see her in my dreams, clearer than life. And the strange thing is, Finch darling, that she always says to me— ‘Margaret’—and she never called me that—’Margaret, I intended that you should have my ruby ring.’ Isn’t it uncanny?”

“Very uncanny, Meg.”

“And isn’t it impressive?”

“Awfully.”

“Why do you suppose she calls me Margaret in the dream?”

“Well, they go by contraries, don’t they?”

“Yes, but there is nothing contrary about her way of telling me that she intended me to have the ruby ring … Just think—all that I—her only granddaughter—got from her beautiful belongings was her huge gold watch, which I couldn’t possibly carry, and her old Indian shawl that her parrot used to make a nest in. Even little Patience thought it very strange when I told her. She said—’Mummie, those were funny things for great-grannie to give you.’”

“Why, look here, Meggie,” said Finch suddenly, “I’d like to have Gran’s watch and shawl, if you don’t mind parting with them.”

The Vaughans were considerably behind with the payments of the interest on the mortgage which Finch held on their house. Meg looked flurried. “Do you mean—” she stammered, “do you want—I know we’re behind with the interest—”

“No, no, I was not thinking of the interest. I was just thinking I’d buy those things off you—if you don’t mind.” He gave his deprecating, rather troubled smile.

Meg laid her hand on his arm. “I’m sure you’d love to have the watch and the shawl, dear. As you got all her money it would be nice for you to have some of her personal belongings too.”

Finch winced, and mumbled—“Oh, I don’t know—I only thought—well, I always liked her watch and the colours in the shawl…”

“Of course! And so do I! They’re perfectly lovely, and if I had got the ring too—I’d have adored them. But you must confess that it’s rather hard for me—her only granddaughter—to see other women wearing her jewellery. I don’t mind Aunt Augusta, because she is Gran’s only daughter, and I can endure Alayne, because she is Renny’s wife, and all he got was her painted bedstead, but to see Pheasant—an illegitimate girl and the wife of a younger brother—sporting that gorgeous ruby, stirs me to my deepest depths!”

“Yes, it is hard,” agreed Finch heavily. “Look here, Meggie, I don’t believe you had better part with those things. After all, it would hardly be right, when Gran left them to you.”

“But I want you to have them!” cried Meg dramatically. “The moment one of my brothers expresses a wish for anything, my one desire is to get it for him if it is within my power.”

“Yes, but Meggie…”

“Not a word! You shall have the watch and the shawl— even though they are all I have.”

A tightness came in Finch’s throat at the realisation of Meg’s selflessness. She saw that he was deeply touched, and the ready tears filled her own eyes.

“Well,” he said, “since you insist. But, of course, I must pay you a decent price for them.”

A pucker dented Meg’s smooth forehead. “Oh, I wish I were in a position to give them to you absolutely! It is so cruel to have always to think of money.”

“I know. I know.”

“But—since I must! Let me see—a watch like Gran’s could never be worth less than two hundred dollars, and—do you know, they say those old Indian shawls are a fabulous price. Queen Victoria used always to give them for wedding presents.”

“Did she really?” Finch looked rather alarmed.

“And I suppose Gran would scarcely have left it to me— her only granddaughter—if it had not been worth a good deal… But I’d never dream of asking you more than a pittance for it. Give me—say, four hundred—no, a bare three hundred and fifty for the two and I’ll be perfectly satisfied… Except for wishing that I could afford to give them to you!”

Finch, by this time, almost felt that she was giving them to him. How kind Meg was! Indeed, she was perfect…

“I’ll write you a cheque for them this minute!” he exclaimed, and took out his book of blank cheques and his fountain pen that had been a present from Aunt Augusta.

“Oh, any time will do for that!” But she allowed him to go on with the writing of it, and her eyes followed the movements of his pen as though it were the wand of a magician.

It was a relief to Finch to do something that took his mind—even for a moment—from the thought of Arthur, and from the sorrowful thought that the loss of Arthur came as no deep grief.

He left Vaughanlands with the shawl in a parcel and the watch in his pocket. As he crossed the fields he felt an extraordinary happiness in possessing them. Gran had brought the shawl with her from India eighty years ago.
How many times its soft, richly coloured fabric had lain about her strong graceful shoulders, had covered her breast when it was full and firm. What intimacies of her passionate heart it had shielded! And the watch… He took it from his pocket and it lay on his palm, shining in the hot sunlight. On it was engraved—“Adeline, from her Philip, 1862.” Finch remembered having been told that it was a present to celebrate the birth of his father. And his father and his grandparents were dust, and the watch was as quick as ever… How the sight of it brought back Gran! He could see her peering into the golden face, winking fast as she deciphered the time, her ornate cap rather askew, a look of lively anticipation lighting her strong features. “Dinner time! Ha, that’s good! I like my dinner. Exercise or no—I like my hot dinner.” And she would thrust her head forward to catch the first sound of the gong.

As he walked homeward he had the feeling that virtue entered into him from the possession of her belongings, resilience against the blows of life. Zest for life and fortitude seemed to emanate from these things so long associated with her.

These feelings did not prevent his shrinking painfully from the thought of Arthur’s funeral. Yet it happened that he was not able to go to it. He got a chill and was in bed when the day came. It was a week before he was about again. Now he found himself dreading the inevitable meeting with Sarah. While he lay in bed he had successfully put the thought of her out of his mind during the day, though at night her troubling presence had darkened his dreams. He had thought deliberately of Pauline Lebraux, her face, the sensitive reflector of her emotions, against the background of her tumbled dark hair, her supple body eager as a bird’s for movement. When Wakefield had come in to see him he had,
as he thought, subtly brought the talk around to the fox farm, but, though Wakefield talked eagerly enough on the subject of the foxes, he drew back, lightly but warily, from more than a passing reference to Pauline. “He’s too quick for me,” thought Finch. “He knows what I’m after almost before I know myself.”

After that the thought of Pauline was always accompanied by the thought of Wakefield. The two thoughts zigzagged about each other like amorous butterflies. It was impossible for him to draw the face of the young girl out of the darkness beneath his eyelids without drawing with it the face of the still younger boy. It was peering over her shoulder. It was half-hidden under her chin. Its eyes were her eyes, and its mouth her mouth. It made Finch angry, for the boy was too young for love, and he had hoped they would be happy companions together. And was this all he was to get out of Wake’s growing up? A rival! The idea made him laugh. The idea hurt him and frightened him. Yet he did not love Pauline. But he wanted no one else to love her. He wanted her to remain for a little while as she was.

The second day he was downstairs he found the drawing-room empty, and he sat down before the piano, not intending to play, but only to feel its nearness, to let his mind rest on the mysterious harmonies hid within it. He drooped above it, his angular body expressing submission and recep-tiveness. His hands lay on the keyboard like the hands of a lover on the breast of his beloved.

He did not hear the door open but he was conscious that someone had come into the room. He turned his face, its expression preoccupied and grudging, toward the intruder. It was Sarah Leigh, dressed in mourning, her deep-set eyes shining like jewels in her white face.

“Sarah!” He got up and went quickly toward her. She seemed to recede from him as she always receded from him in dreams, as he approached. He hesitated, drew back, and she advanced, as she always advanced in dreams. He found himself looking into her eyes, holding her hand, while her voice was uttering words he could not form into sense. They came to him brokenly, like the lispings of a young child. He saw then that there were tears on her cheeks.

He led her to a sofa, and still held her hand as they were seated. Her black garments made her remote, but he felt the strange flame burning in her that once before had seared the wings of his spirit.

“Do you feel able to talk?” he asked hesitatingly.

“Not of that.”

“No, we must not talk of that.”

But of what else could they talk while Arthur’s drowned figure loomed between them?

“You talk, Finch. Tell me of yourself.”

“There’s not much to tell, Sarah. Just a lot of hard work.”

“But talk of it. Tell me of your life. It is three years since we met.”

He began to talk, telling her of his study in London and Germany. Repeating it to her it became romantic, a desirable life. He told her of his recitals and his compositions, not looking at her but holding her small, firm hand in his. She sat motionless, as though cut out of ebony, except for the nervous tapping of her narrow black suede shoe.

“You have done so much,” she said, “and I have done so little.”

“You have travelled. You’ve been—married,” he had not intended to say that, but he could not help himself. She did not wince but her fingers closed on his.

“Yes—I’ve travelled. Yes—I’ve been married.” She spoke as though she reiterated—“How little I’ve done.”

“It is three years since we have met,” he said. “Am I changed, do you think?”

She turned and looked into his face. He saw then the blue circles about her eyes and the weariness on her lips.

“Yes, you have changed. But you still have your beautiful expression. I’m glad of that. It comforts me.”

He dropped her hand and, in confusion, clasped and unclasped his fingers between his knees. For something to say, he said:

“I had no idea you were coming here today.”

“Alayne expects me. She asked me when she came to see me. She thought the change would do me good.”

At that moment Alayne came into the room. She was followed by Renny. The sight of Sarah’s black clothes and her pallor startled him, filled him with unease. To cover it he began to talk loudly, as soon as the first subdued greetings were over. The smell of carbolic soap did not quite conceal the smell of horse and leather that emanated from him. He was saying:

“What do you suppose was keeping us? Well, I’ll tell you! We were quarrelling over our youngster. It’s a never-failing bone of contention. It’s the very spit of my grandmother—what a pity that you never saw dear old Gran—and Alayne is trying with all the mettle in her to turn it into a proper young person. But it’s putting up a good fight. I admire its spunk, I can tell you!”

I
T WAS TRUE
that the small Adeline was a bone of contention between Alayne and Renny. Again and again Alayne determined that this should not be so, yet, in her own mind, she felt herself powerless to prevent it. The child was almost two, strong on her legs, intelligent, sly, already seeming to know and relish the fact that she was an unsolvable problem to her mother. Already she would look shrewdly from one face to another, when her parents exchanged a sharp word. If Renny reprimanded her or gave her a slap, as he sometimes did, she would fly into a tantrum, stiffen herself, pull his hair or bite him. This violence of hers charmed him. He would hug her to him, covering her distorted face with kisses, and, when the storm subsided, dandle her as though she were a model of infant propriety.