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Authors: Margaret C. Sullivan

The Jane Austen Handbook (17 page)

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HOW TO BEHAVE AT A BALL

1. Pin up your train.
If your gown has a train, pin it up, or gentlemen will assume that you do not wish to dance. Ask your mother, sister, or particular friend to assist, and return the favor for them if needed.

2. Refuse strangers.
At a public assembly, if a brash fellow with whom you are not acquainted asks you to dance, you must turn him down, however handsome he might be. Propriety demands that he seek an introduction from the master of ceremonies or a mutual acquaintance before he requests your company in a dance. However, at private balls, no introductions are required.

3. Dance only with gentlemen.
Two ladies (or two gentlemen) should not stand up together unless one sex is greatly outnumbered, and even then permission should be procured from the master of ceremonies.

4. Take your place in the set.
“Set” refers to the group of dancers participating in a country dance, as well as the actual dance that they perform. Line up in two long lines facing one another, with ladies on one side and gentlemen on the other.

5. Perform the dance that is called.
The leader for a particular dance will decide the dance to be performed. Do not object to or attempt to change the dance. If you do not like the dance, you may sit down, but sitting down before the dance is completed is a breach of etiquette in itself. You will get a turn at leading the dance eventually, so be a good sport and go along with the crowd.

6. Maintain your complacence.
Serenity of countenance, elegant carriage, good posture, and graceful movements show your
respect for your company—both your fellow dancers and those watching the dance. Clapping, shouting, snapping your fingers, or other loud interruptions will mark you as vulgar and unaccustomed to good company.

COMING OUT

There was no set way for a young lady to make her debut in society. Her parents or guardians might hold a ball in her honor, as Sir Thomas and Lady Bertram did for Fanny Price in
Mansfield Park
, or she might start attending dinners and evening parties with her parents. In many families it was common for the eldest daughter to at least be engaged before the younger daughters were allowed to come out, presumably so they would not compete with her for potential husbands or embarrass her by becoming engaged first. In
Pride and Prejudice
, Lady Catherine de Bourgh is shocked to learn that Elizabeth Bennet’s younger sisters are out before the elder are married. A girl not yet out was expected to be quieter and more demurely dressed than her elder sisters—some, like Mary Crawford in
Mansfield Park
, even felt a girl not yet out should be under the care of her governess rather than making a show of herself in public.

7. Lead a dance if you are asked.
New brides, a young lady just coming out, or a particularly honored guest might be asked to lead the first dance of a private ball (referred to as “opening the ball”). At public assemblies, the master of ceremonies often will distribute numbered tickets to each lady. Before each dance, he will call out a number, and the lady with the matching ticket will lead the dance. See “How to Lead a Dance” below for details on how to perform this role.

8. Remain with the same partner for two consecutive dances.
If he asks you again, unless it is a very small ball, take that as a hint that he likes you.

9. Be polite to your supper partner.
The gentleman with whom you are dancing just before supper will sit with you while you are eating. At a public assembly, he will most likely fetch your tea things. Converse with him pleasantly. An especially clever young lady will contrive to have the most pleasant supper partner possible, though this is an advanced feat of timing.

10. Thank your hostess.
Send her a note of thanks on the day after the ball to compliment her arrangements and thank her for her hospitality.

HOW TO LEAD A DANCE

If you are asked to lead a dance, you will choose the figure that everyone will follow. This is an opportunity to make the dance fun for everyone, so be prepared.

1. Request your favorite tune.
The master of ceremonies is likely to oblige, though he might have something in mind already. If that is the case, acquiesce gracefully.

2. Choose the figures.
Inform the master of ceremonies of which figures you will be dancing so that he might inform the other sets of dancers. Do not make the figures too difficult, especially if there are younger dancers in the group. If the master of ceremonies objects on the grounds of difficulty, choose something easier. Be sure to choose figures that will go with the music; to do otherwise is extremely inappropriate and shows disrespect for your company.

3. Take your place at the top of the set with your partner.
Everyone’s eyes are on you, so stand up straight and smile.

4. Set the figures.
Weave between the second and third couples in line, dancing the figures you have chosen, ending below the second couple so they are at the top of the set. They then will repeat the figures with the third and fourth couples in the set, ending up below the fourth couple. It will then be your turn to dance again. Continue working your way down the set until you reach the bottom, where you will likely be inactive for a turn.

5. Support the active dancers.
When you and your partner are inactive, maintain your attention to show your respect for those whose turn it is to move.

6. Work your way back up the set.
Interact once again with all the couples in the line. Once you have danced to the bottom of the set, to the top again, and then past the next three couples, the dance is finished.

7. Retire gracefully.
Once your dance is over, take your place at the bottom of the set for the next dance, and let someone else have the privilege of leading the dance.

TYPES OF DANCES

Minuet:
Most eighteenth-century dances opened with a minuet, in which each couple took a turn displaying the slow, elegant steps while everyone else watched. By the early nineteenth century, the practice of opening a ball with a minuet became increasingly unpopular because it took too long for all the couples to have a turn, especially at large gatherings.

Cotillion:
This dance was similar to modern square dancing. Four couples faced one another in a square formation, dancing successive “changes” followed by a figure that characterized a particular cotillion. Cotillions were considered out of fashion by 1800.

Quadrille:
A dance for four couples, in a square formation; each figure had its own distinctive music, with a pause between. Quadrilles became popular in the late Regency.

Country Dance, or
Contredanse:
A minimum of five couples lined up facing one another in a “set,” with gentlemen on one side and ladies on the other. The lead couple danced with the second and third couples in the set, then with the next two couples, then the next two. As they moved down the line, the couple at the top of the line started working their way down, and so on.

Reel:
A Scottish dance in which four dancers performed figures that wove in and out of one another; the music would pause, and they did fancy footwork similar to a Highland fling.
Reels became popular after the Prince of Wales visited Edinburgh in 1801.

HOW TO AVOID DANCING WITH AN UNDESIRABLE PARTNER

Every young lady may feel for my heroine in this critical moment, for every young lady has at some time or other known the same agitation. All have been, or at least all have believed themselves to be, in danger from the pursuit of some one whom they wished to avoid; and all have been anxious for the attentions of someone whom they wished to please
. —
N
ORTHANGER
A
BBEY

At a ball, when you wish to avoid dancing with a particular gentleman who makes it clear he is determined to be your partner, the difficulty is not in refusing him, for that is your right; the difficulty is in retaining your right to dance with another gentleman afterwards. If you refuse one partner, politeness calls for you to refuse all of them. Careful planning and the use of avoidance techniques will free you from this uncomfortable situation.

• 
Avoid him
. Stay away from him early in the evening. Employ your girlfriends to help you. With luck, other gentlemen will ask you for all the available dances.

• 
Take advantage of the noise of a ballroom
. Pretend to not hear him when he asks you to dance.

• 
Hide from him
. It is undignified, but if he cannot see you, he cannot ask you to dance.

• 
Lie
. Tell him that these dances are promised to someone
else. However, if you do so but do not have a partner, you will have to sit the dances out, so this is not the best choice—nor is it the most graceful.

• 
Accept the inevitable
. Just get it over with, especially if it looks like no one else is going to ask you for those two dances anyway. When they are over, excuse yourself gracefully.

• 
Let him know that you are not interested in him
. If you must dance with him, do not put yourself out to be charming. Remarks on the weather or the state of the roads are sufficient. You need not please him; in fact, if you insult him, he most likely will not ask you again.

• 
Appeal to his sense of honor
. If, after you’ve already danced with him, he pesters you to dance again, tell him that you fear for your reputation if you appear too particular. If he continues to press you, drop hints that you will tell everyone that his manners are not what they should be.

THE FORBIDDEN DANCE: THE
WALTZ

Hot from the hands promiscuously applied Round the slight waist, or down the glowing side
.
—L
ORD
B
YRON
, “T
HE
W
ALTZ

The waltz was not commonly danced in England during Jane Austen’s lifetime. Military officers brought knowledge of the dance home with them when they returned to England from the Continent after the Napoleonic Wars (1803–15). No other dance had ever been seen in which couples danced face to face; British society was shocked at the idea of couples on the dance floor in a near-embrace, especially unmarried couples, and waltzing was slow to catch on except in the most fashionable circles. Jane Austen mentions waltzes in
Emma
, but since Frank Churchill “secured (Emma’s) hand, and led her up to the top,” most likely it was a country dance performed to music in waltz time, which was a socially acceptable compromise.

HOW TO CONVERSE WITH YOUR DANCING PARTNER

“It is your turn to say something now, Mr. Darcy. —I talked about the dance, and you ought to make some kind of remark on the size of the room, or the number of couples.” He smiled, and assured her that whatever she wished him to say should be said
.
—E
LIZABETH
B
ENNET AND
M
R
. D
ARCY IN
P
RIDE AND
P
REJUDICE

A very wise man once compared a country dance to marriage. He might have been stretching his metaphor a bit, but one point is well-taken: You have your partner’s undivided attention for an hour or so. A smart girl takes advantage of this time by having an intelligent and witty conversation with her partner.

• 
Talk about what interests him
. This might seem obvious, but more than one young lady has bored her partner by nattering on about muslins or something equally silly. If he is any kind of a gentleman, he will at least pretend to be interested in the subject, so do be aware of what you are saying.

• 
Tease him
. He will pretend to not understand you, or to be offended, but deep down he enjoys it.

• 
Make him laugh
. Even if you did not intend to be funny, you will endear yourself to him.

• 
Praise his good deeds
. If he danced with a young lady in need of a partner, saving her from humiliation, let him know that you noticed and that you approve.

• 
Play hard to get
. Many men like a challenge, so do not make it too easy for him to hold your attention. Talk to your girlfriends or even other gentlemen. But be careful! In such a case, some men will redouble their efforts to impress you, but some will give you up as a bad prospect. Use this skill judiciously.

• 
Be prepared for silence
. Sometimes his mood might call for just that.

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