The Jewel of His Heart (24 page)

Before the dusky twilight settled over the mountain peaks, Josh heard Andy ringing the dinner bell. He still didn’t have much of an appetite. Along with Shebe’s help, he had spent the rest of the afternoon trying to keep track of the baby lambs, forcing them to stay with the flock. He knew that after the fire, predators would be more prevalent in search of food. Considering how quickly the fire had swept through without warning, he guessed he’d been fortunate. The dumb sheep carried on more or less like nothing had occurred. He figured he wasn’t the only one who had suffered loss from the fire. He’d find out who else had when he went back to town.

While he traipsed back toward camp with Shebe next to him, his thoughts were centered on Juliana. It was best to go see her and talk to her, but he was glad a little time had elapsed so she could cool down, and he could ruminate over what he should say. It may not matter to her in the first place, although Josh thought he saw a streak of jealousy flash across her face this morning. Or was that wishful thinking? If it was jealousy, then it made him feel certain she cared for him like he did for her. Their kiss at the creek had been more than a kiss to Josh. When he’d held her in his arms, she’d filled the vacant spot and the longing in his heart, and he felt like he’d finally come home.

“Whaddya say, Shebe? It’s dinnertime, and we’d best get back to camp or risk upsetting Andy. You know how he is when it comes to his cooking.”

Shebe yapped a sharp reply with knowing in her large brown eyes.

On Tuesday morning, Josh could see that Juliana and Albert were having a morning break with a woman he guessed to be Albert’s wife when he looked through the newspaper’s glass window. Perfect. He pushed the door to the office, and it flew open so hard that the bell jangled furiously from its chain. They all turned at the sound of the noise as Josh strode into the room.

“What in tarnation . . . ?” Albert said.

“Sorry for that. I didn’t mean to push so hard,” Josh muttered. He glanced at the muffins. Normally he would have enjoyed one, but not this morning.

Albert smiled. “Don’t worry about that. The hinges are loose, and I just haven’t taken the time to work on it. How’s the head, Josh?”

Josh took off his hat and held it in his hands. “See for yourself. The swelling’s gone down, and I no longer have a headache.” He pointed to his head. He looked at Juliana and said hello, but she only nodded and walked back to her desk, every bit the businesswoman.

“Allow me to introduce my wife to you. Sally, this is a new friend of mine, Josh McBride. The one I told you about who was clobbered on the head a few nights ago.”

“Oh, dear me. Nice to meet you, Josh. I’m so sorry someone decided to take advantage of you. Really! What’s this world coming to?” Sally was pleasingly plump, and her chest heaved as she spoke. She had graying hair weaved throughout her brown tresses, which were pulled neatly to the back of her neck. She reached out her hand to take his. “So nice to meet you.”

“And you,” he said.

“We heard about the fire, Josh. Really sorry about that. Juliana wrote a fine article about it in yesterday’s paper.” Albert reached over to his desk and handed Josh a copy. “You may have that copy, if you want it.”

Josh put his hat back on and reached for the newspaper. “Much obliged, Albert. I’m in a bit of a hurry this morning and really came to see if I could have a word with Juliana.” Josh glanced over at Juliana, who had sat down at her desk and was now moving papers around in a futile attempt to look busy.

“Oh? What about?” Juliana raised an eyebrow with a puzzled look on her face. The face Josh wanted to kiss.

Josh shifted his weight. “Well, I, uh . . .”

Albert reached for his wife’s hand. “Come on, Sally, I’ll walk you back home.”

“What’s your hurry? Here, Josh, have a muffin.” But seeing that Albert wasn’t going to answer her and Josh passed on the muffin, Sally picked up her basket, placed the leftover muffins inside, and gave a quick wave to Juliana. She took Albert’s arm, and he winked at Josh, leaving the two alone.

The air hung heavy and thick with silence. Josh swallowed. This was not easy for him, and he didn’t have much practice where relationships with females were concerned.

Juliana continued filing papers, not looking at him, until Josh blurted out, “Will you please just stop that for one minute?” He hadn’t meant to raise his voice, but he’d been just a little on edge the last couple of days.

“What? I’m working. That’s what I do here every day.” She threw a stack of papers that were in her hands onto her desk and stood with her arms akimbo. “You don’t need to raise your voice. I have perfectly good hearing.”

Josh stumbled over a trash can to get close to her, and he clasped her hand, not letting go. “Juliana, I’m sorry. It wasn’t what you thought!”

“Whatever are you talking about?” She blinked.

“Marion. I have no desire for Marion.” His breathing stepped up a notch, and he noticed she hadn’t pulled her hand away. He laid his copy of the newspaper on the edge of her desk.

“It surely didn’t look that way to me. Anyway, what you do is none of my business.” Her blue eyes snapped.

He took a step closer and could smell the lavender soap and femininity that he loved about her, and he breathed it in. “You have to believe me. Marion was there to offer some ready cash as a friend. That’s all. Just to get me started back on the house and to hold things together for a while.”

“Is that right? What I saw was two heads bending together— closer than friends.” Juliana thrust her chin up at him and took a small step back, but he wouldn’t let go of her hand.

“I’ll admit she was trying to comfort me, but not like you think.” Josh shifted his weight from one hip to the other.

“Then why did you have your head against her pretty one, tell me that.”

Goodness, but she was even appealing when she was riled up. “Because I felt like it. I was sad, so she leaned over and patted my arm and told me she was sorry. Same thing any friend would do.” He was getting exasperated.

“I see.”

“No, you don’t see.” Josh pulled Juliana to him and held her within the circle of his arms. He was only a couple of inches taller than her, and they seem to be fitted for one another. “If you think I’m going to stand here and explain my every move, you’re wrong.”

She struggled against him, but he held her tight, feeling the outline of her legs against his. His hands stroked the small of her back in a light up and down motion, then touched her waist and pulled her even closer. His pulse leaped. Desire flashed over him, and he was surprised at the intensity but kept himself in control. When his head leaned against hers, his hat fell to the floor.

“Josh—don’t do this. We should talk.” But as she said it, she looked up at him, and she took a deep breath, her eyelids fluttering. Her blue eyes were liquid pools of desire. She tilted her head upward to meet his kiss.

He brought his face to hers, barely brushing her brow with a light kiss. His breathing was ragged as he whispered hoarsely, “You’re my Jewel.” Still holding her tightly, he lowered his head and kissed her sweet, pouting mouth. He was surprised once again at the softness of her lips.

A soft moan escaped her throat. A jolt coursed through him as she trembled slightly in his arms, and he held his breath. He marveled at the fact that she could respond to him this way. He could kiss her dozens of times a day and never tire of the sweetness. Finally, he pulled back.

“Juliana, I never would have asked to court you if I hadn’t meant it.” His voice was raspy as he moved a straying lock of hair from her face. Its texture was silky between his fingers. He lifted both her hands and kissed her slender fingers.

Juliana sighed deeply, straightened her shoulders, and pulled her hands free. “I want to believe you. But I’ve seen how Marion is around you. You seemed to really enjoy the attention she gave you when we all had dinner together. Laughing and smiling at her every word. And that night someone hit you on the head, it was very evident that she was after you.”

“Doesn’t mean a thing. She was good company, that’s all.”

She hesitated, then slowly took a few steps away and turned. “But don’t you see . . . we can’t mistake passion for love. If you find her company delightful and her money enticing, then what do
we
have?”

Josh stiffened and clamped his jaw.

“I don’t want to find myself alone like my mother. You may tire of me soon when I’m no longer entertaining, and I can’t compete with Marion’s wealth.”

“You’re making no sense at all, woman.” Josh picked up his newspaper. “I love you for who you are, not what you have!” His voice was tight, and his face was burning now from anger. Stiff shouldered, he waited for her response. Nothing.

Josh reached down, picked up his hat off the floor, and placed it none too gently on his head. “Maybe when you get a little older and you get it through that thick head of yours that not all men are alike,
maybe
then you can learn to trust. I’m tired of reminding you!”

Josh stormed out the door, his boots pounding loudly on the boardwalk. He had already lost his house and a prized ram, and half of his land had burned to a crisp. Now it looked like he’d lost the woman he wanted to share his life with, and he’d gotten a good dressing-down from her as well. He knew she had felt the passion as much as he did, or she wouldn’t have mentioned it. But if she couldn’t trust him, no amount of passion would be enough.

Josh had been walking so fast that he almost missed a wiry older man who called out to him.

“Josh McBride!” The older gentleman put his arm out. “Whoa there, fella. You almost walked right over me.”

“I’m very sorry, Mr. Smith,” Josh said.

“I just wanted to tell you that the ring has been set and will be ready next week for you to pick up. I think you’ll be very pleased.” Smith moved his head up and down for emphasis.

“Thanks, but doesn’t look like I’ll need a ring anytime too soon.” Josh tipped his hat and kept walking, leaving Smith rubbing his bearded chin as Josh melded into the flow of people.

28

Josh strode down an entire block, hot under the collar that one woman could turn him inside out this way, making him want to be near her and lose his temper all at the same time. What should he do? What
must
he do? He would tell her he didn’t mean to walk out that way, ask her if they could talk again, and ask her to give him another chance to explain. Then he would hold her again, gently this time. The ring he’d had Smith fashion for him would fit only one hand—his Jewel’s.

He spun around and sprinted back to the newspaper’s office. By now he had worked up a sweat and was breathing hard, so he paused once he drew close. Through the letters on the glass window, Josh was surprised to see Juliana smiling up at Mark, who stood near the stove, pouring a cup of coffee. She said something that made him laugh, and Josh could hear her silvery laugh in return. Josh saw Mark fish something out of his coat pocket and hand it to her. She looked very pleased in response.

Josh swallowed hard. How could she look so happy so quickly? Didn’t they just have a fight? His hands made fists as he struggled with his emotions, so he stuffed them in his pockets. He couldn’t stand here another minute and watch the handsome doctor filling his Jewel’s ear with heaven knows what. No point in hanging around here. He turned and plodded down the boardwalk to Smithy’s, where he’d left Pete to be shod.

From the corner of her eye, Juliana saw Josh gazing through the front window and was about to excuse herself to go speak to him when he turned and walked away. There was something sad in the way his shoulders were hunched, and she found herself wanting to run after him.

Juliana laid the notes Mark gave her about X-rays on her desk. She wished Mark hadn’t popped in when he did.

“You were saying . . .” Juliana turned her attention back to Mark.

“I wanted to let you know that little Jane has suffered a setback,” he said.

“Oh no. Is it her head?”

Mark cleared his throat. “I’m afraid not. Her concussion is completely healed, but she seems to have lost interest in walking or regaining her strength.”