The Jewel of His Heart (32 page)

Morning dawned with gray, low-hanging clouds, obliterating the mountain peaks, so there was no sun to wake Juliana. She trudged to the window, pulling aside the drapes. The gray day matched her mood, and on the street below, people dressed in their Sunday clothes were walking the few blocks back from church. That meant she’d slept late. The church bells pealed, tolling the hour. Where was the joy Miss Margaret had talked about?

Last night she had flipped through the soft leather Bible, and two of the passages Josh had marked were in the book of John: “I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep,” and, “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.” Such an appropriate passage for a sheepherder to identify with, but she knew he’d underlined it for her benefit too. God would have to work a miracle in her heart for it to mend. When her brain couldn’t think anymore, she had finally slept.

Now, as she descended the stairs, delicious smells wafted upward, and though she couldn’t believe it, her stomach growled. Miss Margaret met her at the bottom of the stairs, crooking her arm around Juliana’s. “Did you eventually sleep?”

“Yes, ma’am, I did. Not well, though.” Juliana knew from her reflection in the mirror that her eyes were swollen and had circles under them. How could a person look so tired from simply crying? Miss Margaret pulled her to the kitchen. “Pour yourself some tea or coffee, and I’ll just finish the pound cake I’m putting together. You’ll look and feel better once you have a little to eat.”

The hot coffee tasted delicious, and Juliana nibbled on some toast and bacon, watching Miss Margaret blend flour, sugar, and butter together.

“Can you cook, Juliana?” Miss Margaret asked, folding beaten eggs into the mixture.

Juliana shook her head. “A little, but I’ve only cooked simple things.” She thought back to life with her mother when money was limited to the necessities of nutrition. So much had changed, she mused. One thing was certain and clear to her now after these last several months—life was about change, constant change.

Miss Margaret poured the batter into a long loaf pan and slid it into the oven, then turned to her and grinned. “Well, from the size of Josh’s muscles, you’ll have to learn a whole lot more to be able to feed him!”

Juliana almost smiled. “Miss Margaret, we’re only just now courting, you know.”

“If what I saw yesterday was any indication of his feelings, I’d say you’re closer to engagement than you think. He’s a fine man, you know.” Miss Margaret wiped her hands on her apron.

Juliana felt her face grow pink. “Yes, I do know. Is there anything I can help you do before we go to the”—her voice quivered—“the cemetery?”

Miss Margaret looked at her watch pinned to her apron. “Goodness! The time is flying. I need to get changed. Everything’s ready, but if you’ll just watch the pound cake, that would help.”

“I’ll sit right here and watch,” she said, taking a sip of her coffee. Miss Margaret hesitated. Juliana nudged her back. “Shoo, now. Go change your dress. I won’t let the cake burn.”

By the time they were ready to leave, the rain was coming down hard. “It looks like we won’t be walking to the church cemetery. We’ll have to take the buggy to keep from drowning,” Miss Margaret told the girls. She groaned. “Where’s a man when you need one? Natalie, you and Louise go hitch the team to the buggy and bring it around front. We’ll wait for you on the porch.” She pulled a black umbrella from the metal stand next to the door.

Natalie rolled her eyes, but Louise shoved her down the hallway to the back door toward the barn.

“At least the carriage has a cover. Perhaps the rain will slack up on our way,” Miss Margaret mused.

Soon the carriage came into view. With a heavy heart, Juliana took the offered umbrella from Miss Margaret and popped it open. Soon this would all be over. She wanted to put this whole nightmare behind her. She clutched the Bible to her chest and assisted Miss Margaret down the sidewalk to the waiting carriage.

Though the afternoon was warm, the dampness sent a chill through Juliana. Her nerves were on edge as Louise guided the horses through the muddy streets of Lewistown. Would the townsfolk blame her because of her father? In the background, she could hear Natalie chattering on about the art fund-raiser that would be held soon, but Juliana paid no mind to most of what she said.

Abruptly, the carriage came to a halt, jolting Juliana back to the present.

“Oh no, looks like we’re stuck in a mud hole!” Louise said, peering over the side of the carriage where the wheel was sunk into the muck.

“We can walk the rest of the way,” Juliana said.

“No, you’ll have half the mud in the county on the hem of your dress,” Louise grumbled.

“It wouldn’t be the first time,” Juliana responded, standing up. “We can get out and push, and you can pull on the horses’ harnesses.”

“Mother, you just sit right there, no need for you get out to help. I’m sure that between me and Juliana we can pull the wheel out,” Natalie said.

It was still raining, but not nearly as hard as earlier, which was a good thing. Natalie went to the rear of the carriage while Juliana took position near the front wheel, sinking into mud up to her ankles. When everyone was in place, Natalie yelled, “Louise, you pull as Juliana and I push!”

They heaved, pushed, and groaned, but nothing happened. They tried again, and they not only got tired, but without umbrellas they were a sorry-looking bunch, with wet, matted hair and soggy hems dragging in the mud. The horses simply refused to move.

“You ladies need some help here?” Wes traipsed through the mud over to the carriage. His tall, lanky body didn’t seem strong enough to move a bale of hay, from what Juliana could tell.

Juliana shot him a hard look. “We don’t need your help.”

“Oh yes we do, Wes.” Natalie blinked, frowning. “We can’t make the horses budge.”

Wes stepped up to where Louise was holding the harness. Reaching up, he patted one of the horse’s necks and whispered something in his ear. He talked soothingly, but Juliana couldn’t make out what he was saying.

He turned back to the winded ladies. “Okay, on the count of three, I want you to give a slight push,” he ordered, grasping the harness. “One, two, three.” The ladies pushed against the wheels while Wes yanked on the harness, and unexpectedly the horses sprang forward, jerking the wheel from its muddy grip.

Miss Margaret looked on from her seat and clapped. “You did it.”

“Thank you. It’s apparent you have a way with horses,” Louise said.

Wes tipped his hat. “Anytime a lady is in distress, I’m more than happy to offer my expertise.”

“Yes, and even if the lady is not in distress,” Juliana muttered under her breath.

Wes swaggered over to assist Louise and Natalie back into the carriage. “I can’t thank you enough for your help,” Miss Margaret said.

Wes stood in the rain, water dripping off his hat brim. “You’re welcome. Are you ladies off to that funeral?”

“Yes, we are. I guess our black dresses give us away,” Natalie said. “Did you know the man?”

“I did, briefly.” Wes offered nothing else.

“Are you attending then?” Louise asked.

“Nope.” Wes seemed not to mind the rain. “I’m not much on funerals and weddings.”

“Well, he was Juliana’s father,” Miss Margaret said, touching Juliana on the hand. “It’s a sad day for her. We must be going.”

Wes directed his gaze over at Juliana, who was now sitting next to Miss Margaret and trying to pat her hair back into place. He nodded. “My condolences, ma’am. I didn’t know Davin had a daughter.”

“And I didn’t know I still had a father, so we’re even. Can we please go on now?” Juliana pleaded with Louise. Wes stood back as the carriage rolled on down Main Street.

Juliana watched as he sprinted through the rain to where his horse stood tethered. What did he know about her father?

Natalie looked at Juliana. “Wes is really not all that bad, Juliana. He just pretends to be.”

“I don’t care for him,” Juliana retorted. Natalie’s face mirrored surprise at her outburst, and she glanced at her mother. Juliana continued, “I don’t see too many redeemable qualities, except for the way he handled your horses.”

“I know very little about him, except he raises horses and has a small scrap of land his father left him. I’ve heard he can be a bit temperamental.” Miss Margaret looked at Juliana. “But everyone can be redeemed.”

Juliana felt reprimanded. Mortified, she pursed her lips into a tight line and didn’t say another word.

34

The small group stood in the afternoon drizzle protected with umbrellas, forming a semicircle near the grave. Juliana insisted that Miss Margaret sit in the carriage out of the rain because of her rheumatism.

Reverend Carlson met them at the cemetery. Holding Juliana’s hand, he offered his sympathy again. “I know you’re grieving, Juliana. Give yourself time to do that. This is so soon after your mother’s passing. We don’t understand the reasons why, but God promises to walk us through the valleys of our lives, if we allow Him.” He walked with her to where the fresh grave was dug next to her mother’s.

Just like that, the one she’d longed to see for years was snatched out of her life as quickly as he’d entered. Like the flicker of a candle snuffed out.

The gaping hole in the ground made her shudder. Only darkness there. A pine box placed on ropes sat on the ground, and rain splashed off its top in a steady beat, while the smell of fresh, wet dirt assailed her nostrils. When Juliana glanced at her mother’s grave next to it, her throat closed, and she was unable to speak. Tears sprang once again to her eyes.

Josh walked up with Andy and Nellie and leaned in to hold her arm protectively. Juliana could only stare at the wide expanse of his tanned hand. She felt weary. There were few who had braved the rain for the funeral. Albert and Sally were there, but neither Marion nor her father showed up. Looking around, Juliana decided it didn’t matter. The ones who were important to her were here. They were her new family now.

The reverend talked of life after death and the confirmation of God’s Word that believers would be reunited someday. After reading select Scriptures to that effect, he ended with a brief prayer. It was nice but short, in view of the weather. When he closed his Bible, he nodded at Josh, Albert, and Andy, and they moved forward. The four of them picked up the ropes, lifted the casket, and lowered it into the grave.

Deep, gripping pain slammed into Juliana’s chest while she watched Andy and Josh shovel the dirt to cover the hole.
At
least they’re next to each other now, and together in heaven
, Juliana thought, but she felt little comfort in her grief. Her eyes burned, and while she shed no more tears, there was a knot in the back of her throat. Nellie held her hand as they watched the men finish.

When they started back to the carriage, Josh strode over and pulled Juliana to him, mindless of the others, and she clung to him under the shelter of her umbrella. No words were necessary. Juliana felt protected with his strong arms around her, and her heart slowed to a steady beat that gave way to a bit of peace.

Josh gently pulled her away from him. “You need to get out of this rain. I’ll stop by the boardinghouse before I leave,” he said in a husky voice.

Juliana mumbled, “Okay,” then dazedly climbed back into the carriage.

Josh was glad the rain was starting to diminish when he got back in the saddle. It had been a soggy and dreary day. Watching Juliana made his heart ache. She was so young to have lost both parents already. He counted himself lucky that his parents were still healthy and alive, though it had been awhile since he’d seen them. Suddenly he really missed them, especially his mother. She had been a guiding force in his life.

He looked over at Andy and Nellie nestled close in the buckboard, sharing an umbrella as they bounced along the wet streets. They were so happy, young, and seemingly without a care, looking forward to life together. He fiercely wanted that. He didn’t want to wait much longer to have a family and someone to come home to, to share his dreams. Time was quickly going by. He hoped he could share his life with Juliana. He felt an urgency like never before to tell her of his intentions. But he couldn’t rush her now.