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Authors: Juliet MacLeod

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“Perhaps you could ask to have my carriage pulled around?” I asked Sebastian. “I have a room with a proper bed and I've been looking forward to sleeping in it all night.”

“You are staying at the White Horse?”

“Yes. Thank you for the recommendation.”

“It's not far. I'll escort you.”

“You don't have to do that,” I said. “The innkeeper hired a carriage for me. I'll be fine.”

He stood and extended his hand to me. “I insist. If we are to go back to Captain MacIsaac and Mr. Jones tomorrow, I would like to spend a little more time with Sebastian and Loreley. If the lady agrees?”

I nodded and slipped my hand into his, allowing him to help me to my feet. His hand was warm and rough with callouses. I gripped it as he turned to face the door and tucked my arm inside his, laying my hand along his forearm. “The lady agrees,” I said, looking up at him, overwhelmed by his nearness. I could feel the heat of his body through the layers of our clothing and he smelled of spices and citrus and something masculine and musky. My heart was pounding so hard I was certain he could feel it through my fingertips.

For a brief moment, I entertained a dream of asking him to leave behind the
Jezebel
and go back to London with me. He could become a merchant with a fleet of ships. We could marry, have children, be happy in a civilized, safe place, far away from rape and murder and violence. Reality crashed back in when I remembered that he was Scottish and a Jacobite. No one in London society would accept him. Maybe Edinburgh, then? He said his family was well-known in the city. Surely we could make a place for ourselves there.

“You're thinking about something,” he said as we left the tavern and went down the stairs to the street below. “I always know when you're thinking about something. Your eyes narrow and you get this vertical line right here.” He raised his free hand and gently pressed his forefinger to a spot directly between my brows.

I smiled and shook my head a little. “Just thinking about tomorrow. About bindings and breeches and pistols and maps.” He nodded, his eyes far off in his own thoughts.

We paused long enough to dismiss the carriage and driver for the evening. Sebastian tipped him modestly before the man and his horses left. The night was cooler than it had been when I arrived, but Sebastian's heat kept me warm. We strolled along slowly, nodding and exchanging brief greetings with other couples and groups we passed along the way to my inn.

I soon became engrossed by the architecture of the town. The houses were so different from the ones in Nassau, which were by and large as colorful as the caged birds in the Earthly Delights courtyard. The houses in Le Cap were whitewashed and all sported black shutters and doors. Each one was surrounded by a lushly planted garden. Flowers of every color and hue in the rainbow made a riotous picture against the stark white of the homes. I paused by one and examined it closer, intrigued by what I saw and smelled.

There was a large vine creeping along a black wrought-iron fence that wrapped around the front of the house. The vine's leaves were glossy and emerald green, and delicate, star-shaped flowers grew on little spears, covering the vine. The most amazing, heady fragrance I'd ever encountered wafted from them and I gasped in sheer delight, completely forgetting myself to press my face into the bunches of blooms.

Sebastian chuckled softly and plucked a large bunch to hand to me. “Star jasmine,” he explained as I took the posey from him. “It only blooms at night.”

“It's lovely. Do you think it would grow in London?” I pressed my face into the flowers and inhaled deeply again.

“There's probably specimens in the hothouses in town. I'm sure there are some at Kew Park, as well.”

“I should like one in my house. I wonder if the Marquess would be able to get one for me?”

I looked up to find him staring at me, a most earnest expression on his face. It was very much like the expression on Graves's face the first time he saw me after an extended absence. But while this look on Graves's face terrified me, on Sebastian's it had an altogether entirely different effect. My blood ran hot, my pulse pounded in my ears, and I could feel a fire being stoked down deep in my belly.

He raised his hand and gently cupped the side of my face, his fingers splayed out over my cheek. His thumb traced my lower lip for a moment before he lowered his mouth to mine, never letting go of my gaze. He kissed me, his lips warm and soft and pliant, the motion tentative, as though he was asking for my permission. It dawned on me that he was doing exactly that.

I reached out with my free hand and took his, giving it a gentle squeeze, hoping that would convey to him just how much I wanted his kiss. It must have been effective, because he closed his eyes and his lips became insistent and demanding, his hand on my face possessive. I closed my own eyes as the kiss deepened, became hungrier. I felt the tip of his tongue sliding over my lips, gently pushing between them. I opened my mouth and hesitantly touched his tongue with my own, tasting the wine we'd had for dessert.

I made a tiny noise as the fires rose in my belly. He let go of my hand and gripped my waist, pulling me against his body, holding me tightly. His hand slid back into my hair and I raised my free hand to his face, my fingers tracing his jaw. The stubble of his beard was endearing and I smiled into the kiss. He rewarded me with a smile of his own and we reluctantly drew back, just enough that we could look into each other's eyes without going cross-eyed.

“Stay with me,” he whispered, the blue of his eyes nearly swallowed whole by the black of his pupils. “Don't go back to London, Loreley.”

I blinked and my hand fell away from his face. “Stay with you? On board the
Jezebel
?” He nodded, his hands still in my hair, on my waist. “As a man?” I asked, my brow furrowed.

He shook his head and stepped back, letting me go. “No, you're right, of course. You'd be in danger if anyone ever found you out. And they would. I can't...” He broke off, turning away and looking up at the house we were standing in front of. He took a deep breath, straightened his coat, and squared his shoulders. “You want to return to England, yes?”

“Of course. I don't... I can't stay here, Sebastian. Not alone and I cannot be... what I was in Nassau.”

“No, you deserve more. But have you considered what your life will be like once you're in your uncle's home?” He turned to face me once more, his eyes hard now, the corners of his mouth lacking their usual secretive smile. “You were raped, your virginity taken from you. You will have a hard time finding a husband because of it, and only someone desperate for an heir or perhaps the Marquess's influence or fortune would marry you. At best, you'll be in a loveless, joyless marriage. At worst, you'll be an embarrassment to your family and kept out of society, a thing to be pitied and gossiped about for ages to come.”

His words were like fists to my gut. I felt breathless, panicked. I turned to grip the pickets of the fence, feeling the day's lingering heat in them. He was right. I knew he was right, but it didn't take the sting out of his bluntness. My panic morphed into anger and I whirled on him, stabbing him in the chest with my forefinger. “How dare you, sir? How dare you say those things to me! I will not be a
thing
to be pitied or put aside. I will not be forced into any such relationship as you have described. I will have love. I will have happiness.” I nearly stamped my foot. Some small part of me said I was acting like a childish, spoiled brat who was throwing a tantrum because she couldn't have another sweetie. But I didn't care. How could he ruin such a perfect night by saying those ugly things?

He took another step back, taking himself out of the range of my ire, and held his hands up in front of himself in surrender. “Just think about my offer. And think about London society. Think about the kinds of people who might influence your uncle's decisions. You'd be completely at his mercy, Loreley.” He paused and stared hard at me then nodded once, curtly. “I'll walk you to your inn now.”

I moved past him, picking up my skirts to swish them out of the way, as if he were unclean. A pariah. Like I would be if I returned to London. My knees went weak and I reached out to grab onto a fence to keep from stumbling. He was right. There was very little he'd been wrong about in the brief time I'd known him. But that didn't mean I had to accept it.

We arrived at my Inn and I thanked him formally and then stomped up the stairs and went inside without a backward look. The slave girl followed me to my room to help me undress and I instructed her to take the gown and petticoats and everything else back to the dressmaker in the morning before I dismissed her. I found the cleaned pile of my pirate clothing and I slept that night in my shirt, tossing and turning as Sebastian's words haunted me. Damn him, he was right.

 

 

XIX

Spanish Town, Jamaica

July, 1716

 

It was difficult to avoid someone while you were both trapped on board a ship. I saw Sebastian everywhere I turned and it always seemed as though he was watching me. I ignored him as much as I could and only answered his direct questions in monosyllables. I focused on my job, on correcting maps, taking headings and depth soundings, and staying sharp during watch. I knew Ben understood something had happened between Sebastian and I, but he was too polite—or perhaps too afraid—to ask what had come between us.

Free time was a luxury and what little of it I enjoyed was spent sitting astride the bowsprit, hanging onto the stays and thinking about my situation. I could not go back to London. I had eventually come to accept that. I would have exactly the sort of life Sebastian had predicted, and I couldn't live like that. Therefore, my only alternative was to stay here, in the Caribbean. I would obviously need income, a place to live, clothing, food, books—the necessities. As I saw it there were three options: to go back to Nassau and Madame Dupris, find a husband as quickly as possible, or stay aboard the
Jezebel
.

There were, of course, inherent risks in all three options. Finding a husband held the least amount of dangers, though it would probably prove to be the most boring, and after six months aboard a pirate ship, I couldn't stand boring. Working for Madame was the most distasteful and would only provide for the most basic human needs for a short time, until I got old and wrinkled and men were no long interested in me. Staying aboard the
Jezebel
was at once the most exciting and the most dangerous. And it was the most appealing because it meant I would be with Sebastian.

He'd asked me to stay. He
wanted
me to stay and I wanted the same thing, but it meant that my secret would constantly be in danger of being exposed. How would the crew react if they discovered me? Would Sebastian, Ben, and I be marooned? Would we be hung for lying to them? Or might they accept me, because they'd served alongside me for six months, because I'd formed the plan that guaranteed them easy money?

When we anchored in Spanish Town, I was one of the first off the ship, occupying the bow of a jolly-boat as it was rowed to shore. I leapt out and helped drag it up the sand before turning and diving into the crowds around the beach. It was market day and I could smell fresh bread and roasting meat. The scent of flowers, of jasmine and tuberoses, overhung it all, and I was happy. Suddenly I was lighter than air. The sun was shining, flowers were blooming, and the air was warm. I smiled at everyone I encountered and was surprised and delighted when most of them smiled back. The rest of my life might be a complete shambles, but right now, in this moment, I was surrounded by beauty and I was happy.

I went to the market and was momentarily disappointed by the lack of pineapples. The man at the fruit stall recommended something called a jackfruit—a strange-looking oblong thing covered in a bright green, prickly skin—and I decided to try it. It was subtly sweet and tasted like a cross between an apple and a pineapple. When the man saw that I enjoyed it, he gave me a handful of the roasted nuts as well. They brought to my mind the taste of roasted chestnuts and I immediately bought another fruit and another handful of the roasted nuts to take with me.

I meandered through the marketplace, eating my fruit and nuts while stopping at the book stalls, still on the lookout for more volumes of the Arabian tales. I didn't find those, but I did find a book on Scottish history and bought it immediately for Sebastian. It seemed only fair to return the favor, since he'd given me so many books. I flipped through the pages and was delighted to find intricately drawn maps, with towns and villages marked, along with hills and streams and moorland. I left the book seller, nose in the book, not paying attention to where I was going, and collided violently with someone.

“Watch where you're going, you...” I glanced up into the wrinkled, age-worn face of one of the
Jezebel
's hands, a very disagreeable man named Pooley. “Oh, young Master Jones. What's that you got there?” He sneered and snatched the book out of my hands and looked through it.

“Pooley,” I said, drawing on my youth and my height, and hoping my station aboard the ship would sufficiently cow him into behaving. “I wasn't aware you could read,” I said nastily.

His eyes went flat and he shoved the book into my chest, forcing me to either step back or fall over. I took a single step back, tucked the book under my arm, and laid my hand on the butt of my pistol. His gaze took in my stance, the hand resting on my weapon, and he sneered again, his lip curling like a mad dog's. “Like that, is it?” he said, his voice dripping with venom. “You think 'cos you're bosom friends with MacIsaac nothing bad can happen to you, eh?” He took a step towards me, thinking to use his weight and musculature—such as it was—to intimidate me. “I know your secret,” he said in a low, menacing voice.

I blinked and jerked my head back as if he'd slapped me. I tried to school my features but I could see it in his eyes that he knew he'd rattled me. The sneer grew more malicious and he nodded slowly. “Oh, yes,” he said. “I know what you and MacIsaac get up to at night, when you're alone.” A vicious smile settled on his face and he leaned closer, lowering his voice to a whisper. “Sodomites. Vile, filthy indorsers.”

Laughter bubbled up out of me, the sound equal parts hysteria and relief. “You think... Oh, Christ's blood!” I stumbled backward into a stall, and gripped the edge of it so that I wouldn't collapse from the force of my laughter. Pooley's face fell and he looked less cocksure and confident as I tried in vain to contain myself and stop laughing. Finally I was able to draw a breath. “I can assure you, Mr. Pooley,” I said loftily, “that no such thing is happening, nor will it ever happen.” I chuckled more as I watched the man try to recover. His pout reminded me of a toddler I'd seen once, whose toy had just been taken away. I fully expect the man to break out into tears.

He straightened and squared his shoulders, sweeping together the remains of whatever dignity he might have had prior to his accusations. “I'm watching you, shit-sack,” he hissed at me before turning on his heel and melting into the crowd.

I stood in place, watching him go for a moment and then drew a ragged breath. Straightening, I pushed off the stall and ran a sweaty palm down my face. My heart was pounding now, the tips of my fingers tingling. Pooley's warning reminded me of the danger I was constantly in. One moment of lax vigilance and my life would almost certainly come to a crashing end.

I had to warn Sebastian. I had to tell him that we were being closely observed by at least one member of the crew, who was determined to uncover our secret. I turned and headed towards the tavern where Hamilton and Sebastian had installed their spies. I stepped inside and was instantly transported to the tavern in the Earthly Delights. There were no differences between the two places. They were both crowded, dimly lit even at mid-day, filthy, loud, and filled with a most disagreeable stench.

Standing just inside the door, I scanned the crowd and found Hamilton, Sebastian, and two whores sitting at a table in the far back of the room. The whore in Sebastian's lap was naked from the waist up, her arms curled around his shoulders as she played with his hair. His hand was on her breast, squeezing and stroking, while his mouth was pressed tightly against hers. Hamilton looked up and spotted me. He motioned me over to their table. I shook my head rapidly and stumbled out of the tavern, not paying attention to where I was going, just running to put distance between myself and the awful scene.

I stopped running when I heard church bells. I looked up at a bell tower a few blocks away. Catholic? No, not in a British-controlled territory. Anglican. Church of England. Something familiar and quite welcome, then. I walked to the church, an imposing brick building that sat at the top of a small rise, surrounded by a tall brick fence. People dressed in good clothing moved through a wrought-iron gate and I fell in behind them. Suddenly I wanted nothing as badly as to sit in a hard-wooden pew and listen to a boring sermon about loving one's neighbor or not spreading false gossip. I slipped into one of the back pews and wished I had saved my Bible from the
Resolution
; I felt naked without it here.

I watched people enter and find seats, some giving me curious side-long glances, some smiling tentatively, but none of them spoke to me, for which I was thankful. I had no idea how I would answer the questions I knew would inevitably come—where I was from, what I was doing in Spanish Town, who my family was. I couldn't very well tell them that I was the master's mate on board the
Jezebel
.

I tuned out most of the service, rising and kneeling when appropriate, guided by something that approached muscle memory. I could almost feel my family on either side of me, could almost smell my father's wig powder and my mother's perfume, could almost see Gunnar fidgeting and Mattie flirting across the aisle with the youngest daughter of the Ingram family.

Finally, the priest stood in front of us and the crowd around me fell silent. “The reading today is taken from Romans, chapter thirteen, verses one through four.” My brows rose in surprise and I leaned forward, my attention now wholly focused on the priest as he read the verses. “'Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation. For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil. Wilt thou then not be afraid of the power? Do that which is good, and thou shalt have praise of the same: For he is the minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth evil.'”

I sat back, a worried frown on my face. Did he somehow know I was in the congregation? What was a pirate but someone who resists governmental powers, and does evil while at it? I scrubbed a hand down my face and listened intently as the priest began his sermon.

“To the north of this fair island lies a modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah, a haven for cut-throats, thieves, and murderers. A place where evil-doers thrive and live without the fear of God. A town where wicked women seduce young men into sin. A city of Satan!” There was a smattering of gasps from some of the more delicate women in the congregation at that pronouncement. “That place is New Providence Island.” I tried to shrink down in my seat, to hide from the people around me. I was transfixed, however, by the priest's words, unable to leave the church, unable to even look away.

“Twenty-four years ago, the Lord God saw fit to destroy the den of wickedness in Port Royal. He caused the earth to shake and the seas to swallow up the town, killing most of the evil-doers who called that place home and sending them unto eternal damnation in the fiery pits!

“But like a garden weed whose roots are still anchored in the dirt, the sinners have risen again to pursue their wicked lives on different shores. Fear not, children of the Lord! For I have had word that Our Father will be smiting down the men and women who call that den of Satan home. Our true and mighty sovereign, King George, is sending his royal navy and a new governor to New Providence Island.”

My blood ran cold and I suddenly couldn't breathe. The Royal Navy was coming to Nassau? And a new governor, too? Dear God... I slipped out of the pew and went quietly back to the streets. I had to warn Sebastian. Nassau had not had a governor in over ten years. That was why it flourished as a pirate republic. But if a new Royal governor arrived with man-of-wars and guns and soldiers, the pirates would be rounded up and executed.
I
would be rounded up and executed.

I ran as fast as I could back to the tavern where I'd last seen Sebastian and Hamilton. Heedless of the situation I might find them in, I rushed inside and found them at the same table they'd been at before. Thankfully, the whores were gone, and Ben and Duquesne, the boatswain, had joined the captain and quartermaster. I arrived at the table, sweaty and starved of air. The men all looked at me, perplexed though humorous expressions on their faces.

After a few moments of gasping as I tried to catch my breath, Ben handed me his flagon of ale. I drained it and nodded my thanks as I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. “Captain MacIsaac, sir,” I said, staring fixedly at a point just over his right ear. “I've news from Nassau.”

They waited a beat but I was still struggling for breath. Sebastian chuckled and drew another chair up to the table and pushed me into it. “In your own time, Mr. Jones,” he said. “We'll wait.”

“I've just come from church,” I explained when my lungs were no longer heaving like a bellows. “The priest was reading from Romans, chapter thirteen, verse one—”

“Get on with it, Jones,” said Duquesne. “No one gives a toss about chapter and verse. News from Nassau, you say?”

“Yes, sir. The priest, he says the Royal Navy's coming. And a new governor, too.”

Silence reigned at the table for a moment before the men burst into laughter. I stared at them, my brow furrowed in confusion and shock. Ben saw my expression and took pity on me and explained. “They be saying that for years. Since old Trott get tossed out, they be saying the Navy's coming to clean us all out. Ain't happened yet.”

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