The Journey (5 page)

“Who?
Him
?”

“Yeah,
him
.”

I chuckled. “Why? You jealous?”

“Yes.” He pulled me close against him then. “Who is it?”

“That’s just my first cousin, Ernie. This is his route. He runs a load up to Corbin and back, every day.”

“Oh.” He blushed. “Are all your cousins that big and good-looking?”

“Nope… Some are even bigger
and
prettier.”

“Pffts.” He gently yanked on my ponytail. “Why does he call you Pooh?”

“Most of my family does—the ones that knew me when I was little.” I shrugged. “Because I used to drag this old Pooh Bear around with me everywhere I went.”

“Is that so?” He chuckled and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. “Better get to work,
Pooh
.”

The next Sunday, Drella showed up with a fuzzy new Pooh Bear. I cried. I still have it to this day.

Things went on like that between us for weeks—talking on the phone, spending as much time on Sundays as we could—but it wasn’t enough. The time finally came when we couldn’t stand it anymore. We
had
to have our first date.

So, Drella decided to stay in Knoxville that next weekend, since that’s where we would have to go out and eat anyway. I drove home that Friday after class, and nearly drove my mom crazy gushing about my
perfect
guy
.

She woke me up early Saturday morning—something she didn’t normally do. I remember waking up, smiling like a Cheshire cat.

“It’s date day,” I sang.

“I’ve made some coffee. Come on in the kitchen.”

I followed Mom, already rattling on about the evening while still rubbing morning from my eyes.

“I wonder where we’ll go. Oh my gosh, I have
no
idea what to wear. Should I do heels, or something easier to dance in? Maybe he doesn’t want to go dancing. Maybe he’ll want to catch a movie instead. I don’t know. He won’t tell me.” I giggled. “It’s a secret.”

Mom was already at the table when I plopped down and took my first steaming sip.

“I was listening to the news,” she said.

“Yeah? What’s up? Is it gonna rain?”

“There was an accident last night.”

“Anybody we know?”

“Yes.” She looked up at me then. “Drella was in a car wreck last night—him and two other boys. They hit a tree—that big Scientist Church off of Kingston Pike. The car burst into flames. Drella was in the passenger’s seat, but they couldn’t get the boys out. Honey… Drella didn’t make it. None of them did.”

What can I say? I was in shock. I was numb. The whole thing was too surreal. I left my frozen body. I don’t know how that happens, but I can
clearly
remember looking down on my own face—color-drained, tears dripping from my chin to the table.

I went back to bed without a word. I curled into a ball… spent the entire weekend like that. Mom came in once to tell me that Doug had called and told me not to worry about coming in to work that Sunday, but I didn’t respond. I didn’t eat. I didn’t sleep. I only cried. The worst part of all… no one knew just how devastated I truly was.

Even though
we
had connected immediately, spent countless hours on the phone, already sworn our hearts to each other… this was to be our first
date
date. Only today would we be joining together in front of our friends as a public couple. Yes, we had each talked endlessly about the other, but we had never been introduced into the other’s world. Only Doug had ever seen us together, only my boss had witnessed our very first kiss in the parking lot on a Sunday afternoon, only
he
had ever listened to our playful conversations and vows of love.

I mourned… bitterly. Yet, no one else truly understood
why
I mourned. His was simply a name they heard me speak one day, and the next… he was gone.

Drella Walker was
the
one
. People say there is someone for everyone, you just have to find them. Well, I did, and now he’s gone. There has never been another that made my breath hitch with just a smile, that made me laugh as he teased me, that made my heart swell to bursting… and the only one to completely shatter me with his tragic passing.

Yes, I had gone on with my life. What else could I do? But never again have I known a love like that. Never again had my heart raced for a man,
any
man. I have dated. I have cared, sort of. But never again have I known that type of instant, all-consuming kind of love. Drella was my soulmate in every sense of the word. Over twenty years later, I have never met his equal… and I still mourn
in solitude.

This
is my greatest pain—the loss of my Drella.

When I sniffed, he hugged me ever tighter.

“No one ever truly knew the depth to which my soul was sliced that day. I was utterly destroyed, Drell… and not another single human was there for me to lean upon. We were our own perfect little world… and you were mercilessly torn from it. I couldn’t have been more alone in my grief, were I sitting upon the surface of the moon.”

“
I
was there,” Drella whispered. “I held you while you crumbled, Ladybug.”

I couldn’t stop my tears then. I had no idea what was happening to me or how this had all come to be, but I didn’t care. I threw my arms around his neck and he held me as I crumbled once more.

“I had to mourn you in silence, Drella. The only man I loved with every piece of my soul… and I had to mourn your death in silence.”

“I know, my love, my little Pooh Bear. I know. And I am so horribly, wretchedly sorry.”

“It’s not
your
fault.”

“I’ve missed you every single day. I think about you constantly.”

“Still?”

“Of course.” He kissed my cheek. “To me… it happened only yesterday.”

“I still have my Pooh Bear.”

“I know,” he whispered. “It’s nearly threadbare and stuffed down in the bottom of your backpack.”

“How’d you know?”

“Because… I still love you too much, Ladybug.”

Chapter

2

The room slowly began to brighten with the dawning light. My eyelids fluttered before barely opening.

“Ugh… My head is killing me. Are my eyes swollen?” I barely touched my tender, half-open lids. “What did I
do
last night?” I mumbled before sighing loudly.

“You cried yourself to sleep, Ladybug.”

I rolled over to see Drella lying there beside me—eyes still closed, a warm smile parting his perfect lips.

“So… you
weren’t
just a heavenly dream.”

“Oh, I’m heavenly, alright. Just not a dream.”

I giggled when he opened one eye, his charming smile growing ever wider.

“Are you real, Drella? Have you been sent back to me? Or are you just the safe place my mind landed when I ended up in hell?”

“You weren’t in hell. You were in the Nether. Bad enough, though.” He sat up then and yawned, stretching his arms and popping his neck before turning to face me. “I have been sent to you, yes. Yet I am not alive, Pooh. Least not in the way
you
are.”

“Did I mention I had a killer headache and felt like crap?”

He chuckled. “I imagine you do. Get dressed while I go down and round us up some coffee. That’ll clear your head so we can talk properly. Okay?”

“See if they’ve got some Advil, too. Or at least some aspirin.”

Drella was pulling up his jeans when I started to crawl out of bed. Hearing his belt buckle jingle with the action made me smile.

“Umm… Drell? I hope you took advantage of me last night.”

“Pffts. If I had, you would remember.”

I chuckled as I slipped on my shirt and plopped down on the pretty green couch. “Tease.”

He had me scooped up in his arms before I even realized he’d moved.

“You know how much I love you, right?”

“Yeah.” I blushed. “About
half
as much as I love you.”

*****

“There’s no way I can eat that greasy stuff this early in the morning.”

“Good, because that’s mine.” Drella tossed something towards me. “I brought you an apple. Eat up.”

“Ugh… Maybe later. Coffee’s fine, for now.”

“You still hate breakfast, huh?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Not if it’s closer to ten o’clock. If I tried to swallow solid food this early—forget about it.”

He stabbed another sausage link with his fork. “Smells good, though. No?”

I winced. “Not in the least. In truth, it’s making me gag a little. Why do I feel like I drank a whole bottle of really cheap wine, all by myself?”

“It’s the aftereffects,” he said after swallowing. “It’ll ebb. The coffee will help. I brought some hot water.” He motioned toward the carafe on the table. “For tea with your apple. You’ll be right as the rain before you know it.”

I found myself smiling, despite my nausea. “You were always the most cheerful person I ever knew—exasperatingly optimistic.”

“Was that a compliment?” He winked at me. “Or an insult?”

“Both.”

He snorted out a laugh before taking his next bite.

I finished my coffee and rinsed the cup out before filling it from the sink, washing down the aspirin.

Grabbing my dry pants off the back of a chair, I poured the steaming water over the little teabag before slipping the dark jeans on. I plopped back down on the couch without buttoning them, and let out a sigh.

“Apple.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m on it,” I grumbled.

“Want some juice, too?”

“No. I’m good. Thanks.”

Drella tossed his napkin over his empty plate and leaned back. “Me too, Ladybug. Now, you ready?”

I pressed my fingertips against my forehead and tried to smooth out the furrowed creases. “Almost, Drell… almost.”

He waited a moment before beginning his story. “When I left this world, I was given a job. Everybody has one. Well… unless you are taken to the holding place.” He visibly shivered. “I’m a Seeker now, Pooh. I seek out things that are lost or stolen—ancient things—bring them back out into the light.”

I finished my tea as I listened, finally taking my first bite of the deliciously crisp apple. It made me smile. Fresh apples always do.

“And… sometimes… I seek out people. The proper people. Like you.”

“Me? You think I’m proper?”

“Pffts… I believe we
both
know the answer to that.”

I joined him in his chuckle.

“All joking aside.” His tone turned more serious. “I have never seen you as anything less than completely perfect, Pooh. You know that, right?”

“…Yes. And you know I feel the same way about you.”

He only smiled and blushed a little.

“So… why were you seeking me out? Is something wrong? Or am I just ancient and lost?”

He shot me a sideways glance and smiled. “No. Everything is as it should be. And… I was seeking you out to make sure the living understood that.”

“Understood what? What do you mean?”

He paused a moment. “Do you remember the day you decided to go in search of… whatever it is you’re constantly in search of?”

“No, not the day. It’s more like… my curiosity finally got the better of me.”

“A constant gnawing need to uncover the past?”

“Yeah, pretty much exactly like that.”

He nodded, knowingly. “We each have a calling, I guess you could say. Not everyone follows their inner voice. We can train it to be silent—mostly by ignoring it. Or we can drown out its lulling call with the noise we choose to fill our lives with. And then… there are those who simply cannot be happy until they finally give in and follow it, walk down the path they were
meant
to walk.”

“Exactly,” I whispered. “When I pushed back all my fears, all the doubts that kept holding me back… only
then
did I begin to wake up with a smile to greet each new dawn.”

“Yes.” He looked over and met my gentle gaze, then smiled softly. “We are whole only when we choose to nourish our soul, calm our inner voice by giving it what it wants, what it needs—our commitment.”

“So… my thirst for knowledge of ancient oddities has been a quest for my own happiness? That seems a bit selfish of me, huh?”

He chuckled softly. “No, Ladybug. You have been on a quest for
needed
knowledge, whether you realized it or not.” He motioned with a nod. “Like that old amulet you’re wearing now.”

I reached for it as he spoke.

“You found that in a collapsed cave, several kilometers due south of the Dead Sea. Am I right?”

“…Yes. It was by pure accident that I even stumbled across it.”

“Stumbled down
into
it, you mean—the cave.” He smiled and winked.

I rolled my eyes, trying to distract from the blush I could feel spreading across my cheeks.

“You’re wrong,” he continued. “It wasn’t by accident. All you have read, all you have learned, all you have
stumbled
across… has been in preparation for your current task at hand.”

“Which is?”

“You are a Witness—a record-keeper of the fulfillment.”

“The fulfillment? The fulfillment of what?”

“Of time. Of the ancient prophesies of time.”

“Did I die? Am I dead? Drella… did you kill me?”

He furrowed his brow, studying me closely before continuing. “What makes you think you’re dead?”

“What makes me think I’m—” I stood, holding out my arms to encompass my surroundings. “Only a few short hours ago I was digging through the ancient archives of Taktsang, mediating alongside Gopal. The next thing I know… I can’t breathe. I’m in a hopelessly forsaken place. A place ripe with the smell of death…
old
death. Then my lungs were blessedly filled with the cleanest, most delicious air I have ever breathed, and I’m being lead through a pasture field by the long-dead love of my life. What creature in their sane mind would consider themselves still among the living?”

“You are not dead,” he said coolly. “Your eyes have been opened. That’s all.”

I collapsed back onto the couch. “So… what are you saying? That I can see dead people now?”

“Not dead people, Ladybug, dead
things
.” He almost laughed when my eyes went wide. “Dead things, undead things, immortals, half-bloods, the damned and the blessed—all the things you have only ever read about.”

I popped two more aspirin in my mouth and washed them down with cold tea.

“Baby steps, Drella. And baby bites, too. Feed me a little bit of milk before you toss me a whole slab of beef.”

“You’ve been drinking milk this whole time, Pooh. You’re ready for the meat.”

I sighed and let my head fall back against the couch. “Why Ireland?”

“St. Anthony’s.”

“A church?” I knew my eyes were now sparkling with the curiosity I wasn’t even
trying
to hide. “You can get me in? Back where they keep all the
things
they
don’t
have
?”

“You don’t need me for
that
, Ladybug.” He chuckled. “You’ve always managed to get into all the places you should not be able to, all on your own.”

“Yeah, after spending weeks begging and pleading and assimilating. I’ve had to take on so many different cultures, I can scarce remember my own.”

“Well… it works for you. Trust in that.”

“Why St. Anthony’s?”

“Your pendant.”

I looked down at it. “What? This old thing? It’s not Catholic. I’m not even sure it’s Christian.”

“No, it’s not. What now hangs about your lovely little neck is much older than Catholicism, or even Christianity. Alas, it is not whole. Once we retrieve the other piece, you won’t need
my
help passing through the Nether.”

“Is that so?” I mumbled, staring at the odd brown stone I’d worn about for years
. Hmm… I thought it was already whole. I never noticed a piece—
“Wait. What do you mean… not need your help? Drella, are you leaving me? I thought… well… I thought perhaps we were partners or something.”

“I’m a Seeker, Pooh. I told you that. And, I’m not human. Not anymore. Our paths will cross occasionally, yeah, but we will not walk side-by-side, no.”

“Then…”

“When the time was right, I sought you out. Now, I seek the tools you will need in your own quest… as a Witness. Understand?”

“No.” I blew out the word with a heavy sigh as I jerked one of my boots on. “I don’t understand a damn thing.”

I glanced up at Drella. He was tucking his shirt in, a sardonic grin turning up one corner of his mouth.

I snorted and smiled. “Jeez… I always loved when you did that. Too dang sexy for your own good,” I mumbled under my breath.

“I still love you, too.”

His unexpected, whispered confession caused me to freeze, my fingers still entwined in the black laces I was unnecessarily tightening. I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting against the burn of coming tears.

“I have seen you so many times before yesterday, Pooh. I’ve even helped you out on occasion. It feels good… you finally being able to see
me
as well.”

“…Yeah,” I whispered, mostly to myself as I went back to busying with my boots. “Hey… wait a minute… I know these.” I grabbed the other boot and looked at the sole. “These are… these are
my
boots.”

I looked up and was met with his knowing smile, gorgeous as ever.

“I was wondering how long it would take you to notice.”

“But how… where? I thought they were lost.”

“They were. You left them in the airport in Mumbai.”

“…Chhatrapati Shivaji? Is that where they were? Hmm… I didn’t realize…”

While I was lost in thought, Drella sat down beside me.

“You’ve had those boots for so many years now.” He sort of laughed. “It’s a thousand wonders they haven’t fallen apart.”

The memory made me smile. “Yeah. If it weren’t for these boots…”

When I sniffed, Drella patted my shoulder and began rubbing comforting little circles across my back.

“If it weren’t for those boots… we would never have met.”

I nodded, but couldn’t speak.

“You wore them every day.”

I wiped my nose then and chuckled. “Every day it was cold enough to wear boots. Pfft… It took me nearly a year to pay them off. You
bet
I’m gonna wear them, every chance I got.”

“You didn’t wear them the winter after I left,” he whispered.

“How could I?” I used my sleeve to wipe away the bitter tears. “Every time I saw them… I would cry. No one understood why. They all just thought I was some dark, depressed weirdo.”