The Juliette Society (24 page)

I slide my arms down to the floor and stick my butt high in the air, and he’s fucking me so deep and hard that I can’t help but let out a long, plaintive moan that emerges with such force and such volume that it echoes through the house. And even Sebastian hears it because, soon enough, he’s howling up a storm in the garage. Me and the dog are moaning together in sympathy.

Jack’s thumb is edging around my asshole while he’s fucking me, scooping up the Crisco and pushing it into my hole, testing it, stretching it, and before I know it he’s inside me up to the knuckle and I’m closing in around him, like a Venus Flytrap closes in around its prey.

Jack has his thumb up my ass and I feel him turning it back and forth, as if he’s turning a key in a lock that won’t take hold. I can feel it, turning, turning, turning. And it’s only turning in one direction now, clockwise, like someone’s winding the mechanism and that mechanism is me.

I’m ready to go to the next level so I turn my head, catch his eye and tell him, I want you to fuck my ass, Jack. Fuck it real hard.

He pulls out of my pussy and slaps his cock against it, coating the shaft with my sweet, sticky white come, so he’s all good and greasy to ease his entry into my tight little butt. He puts his hand on my ass to steady himself while he presses the head of his penis against my asshole. It puckers with anticipation. The head of his cock feels so big as he edges it inside my hole. I let out a gasp.

His greasy cock feels so big and tight in my butt and it’s moving in deep and slow.

‘Does your cock feel good in my ass?’ I say.

‘Feels good,’ he moans. ‘So tight.’

‘I want you to stretch my tight little asshole,’ I say. ‘I want your whole fucking cock inside my ass.’

Jack grunts with pleasure as he slowly slides his length all the way into me and starts to pump and swivel his hips. Jack is dancing on my ass and it feels so good.

His hands tightly grip my shoulders so he can he slam into me with sledgehammer thrusts. And his wet balls are slapping hard against my pussy.

And it feels so good to feel my ass being stretched and probed with his thick, meaty cock that he takes me all the way. I feel like I’m going to come. I feel like I’m going to explode from the inside out.

I tell him, Jack, I’m going to come. I’m going to come.

And, as I do, my body bucks underneath him and I let out a wail of pleasure.

I say, now, I want you to come in my ass, Jack. I want you to fill me up with your come. I want to feel your come dripping out of my butt.

Talking dirty to him like that seems to have the desired effect and push him over the edge. I hear him groan to signal that he’s about to deliver. He gets off one last hard thrust and his gun goes off in my chamber, his come explodes in my ass and I feel it filling me up inside. He slowly pulls his cock out of me and I feel his thick, white marshmallow come dripping out of my hole and gathering in my pussy.

We spoon in front of the fire on the soft rug, him lying behind with his arms around me.

And I think, I really don’t know how this could be any better. Me, Jack, a real live fire, anal sex and a cream pie.

It’s the perfect end to a perfect weekend.

19

I’m looking at myself in a picture that hangs above a bed. It’s picture of the way I was. And I almost don’t recognize myself. It feels like I’m dreaming but my eyes are wide open.

I’m standing naked. Cockle shells cover my nipples and an oyster shell covers my sex. Cumulus clouds roll above my head like waves. Waves roll over my head like dunes shifting in the wind.

I’m walking on a beach. Shells crunch underneath my feet. No matter how careful I am, no matter how lightly I tread, they crunch and break. I look down and I see they’re not shells but bones. I’m walking on a beach of bones. I can taste the salt air on my tongue. I can feel the sharp edges of the bones underneath my feet, digging into the flesh. The beach is uneven and I’m unsteady on my feet, as if negotiating broken paving stones in stiletto heels.

I walk until I reach a boardwalk crowded with young couples, glowing with love. They’re all walking in one direction, and I’m walking in the other. I’m walking naked through them. They all stare at me as they pass by and I feel exposed. But I hold my head up high and keep walking.

I walk toward the end of the boardwalk, where naked men in carnival masks stand in a line along the rail, tugging at their erections. They’re waiting for me to arrive. And I don’t want to disappoint them. I get down on all fours and stick my butt up high and wiggle it, like it’s sniffing the air, to signal that I’m ready.

The first one approaches. He puts his hands on my hips, crouches down to my level and sinks his cock deep into my pussy, all the way to the hilt, and then slowly draws himself all the way out till I can feel the tip of his cock teasing my hole, preparing to plunge inside me again. He starts to fuck me with long, hard strokes. His balls are slamming against my clit and it feels so good that I pant and claw the ground.

Jack is walking along the boardwalk arm in arm with Anna. He doesn’t notice me. He walks right past me, right past the men who are stroking their cocks, waiting their turn to fuck me. He stops maybe twenty feet away and leans back against the railing with his elbows hanging over the edge. Anna kneels down in front of him and unzips his trousers, reaches inside and pulls out Jack’s penis. She holds it with her fingers around the shaft and her thumb extended along the head, the way I would hold it, licks it along the shaft, the way I would lick it, places her lips over the head and slowly draws his length into in her mouth. Anna is sucking Jack’s cock the way I would. I look at Jack’s cock in Anna’s mouth and imagine it’s the cock in my pussy.

And I want Jack to look up and see me being fucked like this, on all fours, by the stranger in the carnival mask. I want Jack to know that I’m imagining him inside me. Like the men in my dreams, I want him to accept me as I am. So that we can be together.

I wake with a start, as if from a terrible nightmare. Jack’s lying next to me in bed, asleep, and I grab him and wrap my arms around him, hear him gently stir, and feel the warmth of his body seep into mine. I feel safe and comforted and wanted. But I want more.

I run my hands across his chest, down his belly, and slide my fingers into his pubic hair, nudging my middle finger down so it strokes the base of his penis. I stroke it gently until I can feel it start to harden underneath my finger, then I slide my hand down further and grab hold of his cock, meaty and thick and semi-hard. I stroke the base with my thumb and twist my fingers around the shaft. I can feel him stiffen in my hands and then his cock is erect and upright and ready for action. I let go so I can lick my hand, and I get it good and wet with saliva then wrap it around his shaft again. As I slide it up and down and make him slick with my spit, I hear him moan, roused from his slumber into half-sleep.

I want Jack’s cock inside me. I want it so fucking bad and I don’t care if he’s conscious or not. I swing my leg across his body, feel his cock brush against my thigh, raise myself up and straddle him. I put my hand on his chest to steady myself, look down and see him half-open his eyes just in time to see me reach back and grab his cock so I can hold it in place while I spear myself on it. I slide back and slowly lower myself down onto him. He lets out a sleepy little satisfied moan. My pussy opens up to accommodate him, getting wetter with every inch.

He’s conscious now and nestled deep inside me. He starts to slowly rotate his hips. His cock is brushing back and forth inside me. And I follow his lead, riding him, rotating my hips in perfect motion with his, like we’re two cogs in a machine. I lean forward over him, and he moves with me, bending his knees and arching his back so that he can brace himself to push inside of me. I hold steady to feel his cock sliding in and out of my hot wet pussy.

I say, ‘Fuck me, Jack. Fuck me harder.’

And he does, slamming into me twice to show me his power, then settling into an emphatic rhythm. He wants to please me. I let out a long satisfied moan, breathlessly pant his name, and bury my head into the pillow, smothering his face with my tits. I run my fingers through his hair and pull his head to my breast and feel his hot breath on it as his mouth searches for the nipple.

My breast is in his mouth. He’s sucking it into him and I can feel my nipple swell and harden as he teases it with his tongue, as he tugs it with his lips and gently bites down, pulling and stretching it with his teeth.

His hands grab my breasts and squish them together so he can lick and suck and bite them, one after the other and then both at the same time. Now he’s got a taste of me, he’s getting greedy. He’s devouring my tits with his mouth and his cock is pounding into me. I can feel myself starting to come. And I want him to know.

I say, Jack, I’m going to come. I’m going to come.

I raise myself up, put my hand on his chest and grind down hard on his cock because I want to feel him deep inside me when I come.

I grind down until he’s all the way inside me and I can feel his balls pressing against the cheeks of my ass. I hear his breath quicken, I hear him moan and I know he’s close too. So I grind down harder and slowly circle my hips. And he moves with me, he breathes with me and he moans with me. We’re both on the verge and I want to lead him there. I can feel myself coming and I want him to know.

‘I’m coming Jack, I’m coming, I’m coming.’

And I barely get the words out before I climax.

I buck and thrash on top of him, as the orgasm surges through me, my pelvis moving in quick little powerful thrusts along his shaft. And it’s too much for him too. He moans long and loud as he comes inside me. I can feel his cock twitch inside me as he fills me with his load. I can feel him judder as his body comes to rest. And I collapse on top of him, feeling his chest rise up to meet mine as we both gasp for air.

I roll off him, lie on my side. He rolls onto his, facing me. I clasp him to my breast. We both lie there, exhausted. I listen to his breathing, hear it slow down and change in pitch and I know he’s asleep.

I’m lying in bed, thinking about where I’ve been, what I’ve seen and how I got this way. And I realize something that I’ve always known but taken for granted:

Half of sex is the dreaming.

20

I’m sitting in class, in my usual spot, right in front of Marcus, and he’s going through that climactic scene in
Vertigo
, where Judy has just revealed her secret to Scottie: that she and Madeleine, the dead blonde he’s been infatuated with, are one and the same person. In doing so, she yanks Scottie out of his fantasy and forces him to confront the truth of his reality, that he’s been consumed by an illusion all along. Marcus is breaking down the final shot, where Scottie is standing at the top of the bell tower where Judy/Madeleine once was. He’s overcome his fear of heights to edge out onto the ledge, but now he’s staring down into the abyss. Staring down at the spot where his obsession drove her; dashed on the rocks to her death.

It feels like we’ve studied this movie a hundred times and more, as Marcus keeps coming back to it over and over for some particular reason. Marcus is so obsessed with
Vertigo
that I think he could talk about it all day, in every class, and still find new and interesting things to say. I think it’s because
Vertigo
has everything that Marcus loves about film. All the fetishes and paraphilias anyone could really want and need. Now I know a little more about Marcus, through Anna, I can understand why.

I’m also as certain as I can be of one thing. That just like Scottie, Marcus is obsessed with platinum blondes, the ones that will drive a man to ruin. Marcus is obsessed with Anna.

I guess Anna’s influence must be rubbing off on me too, because I’ve found myself starting to dress more like her. Not just like her, but in her actual clothes. I’m wearing this semi-sheer white tank top with a scoop neck that shows off my bra. I asked Anna if I could borrow it, even though I wasn’t sure it really suited me at all. And I’m wearing her leopard print Lycra leggings and stiletto sandals; the kind of look that tells a man, I am ready to eat you. Even Jack looked at me strangely this morning when I came out of the bedroom dressed and ready to leave, because he’s never seen me wearing things like this. And when he looked at me, I wondered if my crush on Marcus had gone too far.