Authors: Jo Walton
Tags: #Women soldiers, #Science Fiction, #General, #Fantasy, #Fiction
"If you would," Urdo said. I started on my porridge. It was wonderful. Urdo waited until Talog has gone far enough not to hear him before he asked, "Sulien, did you call Turth?"
I jumped, startled. "No. Certainly not. I wouldn't know how to, and I wanted you to have a trial and call everyone together, as I wrote to you."
"You are heir to land, you could have called him," Urdo said, stirring his porridge. "I did not think you had, but I needed to be sure."
"I wish Kerys would get on and have a baby so I needn't be heir to Derwen," I said.
"But I was far from there, and such a thing never crossed my mind."
"Then he came uncalled, after the sacrilege indeed, but I think he came for Danen,"
Urdo said. We looked at each other for a moment. I stopped chewing. "Luth and Ayl and
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anyone else who thinks about it will think it natural enough, if they think Darien is my son,"
Urdo said, very quietly. "It seems the land thinks you have indeed given me an heir as we agreed."
I didn't know what to say, the thought of Darien as High King was so strange. But Turth had come and saved Darien from harm. "He killed Cinon," I said. "But Cinon is not all the threat; he could never have planned that. It may have been Flavien, but I think it might have been Morthu. I don't have real proof, but Morthu hates Darien, Darien is sure of it. And—well, he sends letters all the time, and the way Arflid was killed was based on a dream of Ulf s he could have read."
"A dream of Ulf s?" Urdo asked, raising his eyebrow.
"That's what he said. Ah, you can ask him yourself, here he comes." I had just caught sight of Ulf coming through the next line of tents.
He hesitated when he saw us. Urdo waved him up, and he approached cautiously. He did not look at me at all, until he was close, when he bowed to both of us and said, "Sire, Praefecto." He stood very awkwardly.
"Sit down," Urdo said. He sat down but remained ill at ease. After a moment, Urdo said, "You wanted to see me?"
"It's about when you were gone after the boar," Ulf said. "It's true I started the fighting, but I didn't know what else to do."
"What exactly happened?" Urdo asked. I started to eat again. The bacon put new strength into me.
"The boar appeared," Ulf began. "Everyone was rushing about. I was trying to get mounted. There were more people than there should have been. Then the boar charged, crushing Cinon and some of his men. Suliensson and ap Gwien jumped onto it," He sort of half glanced at me, then fixed his gaze back on Urdo very quickly. "You and Luth and Ayl went galloping off after them. Then there was a moment when everyone stood about with their mouths open. Ap Erbin was trying to organize some people who were mounted into coming after you. Elwith was signaling our pennon together. I tried to get to her, but there were monks getting under our hooves. Then Father Gerthmol came into the center of the camp and started shouting that the beast had taken the evildoers and that nobody should follow them. Ap Erbin started shouting back, and so did some other people. It was all very loud, but whenever any horses tried to move off in an organized way the monks seemed to be in the way, clutching at us, and we couldn't just ride them down. And some of the ala were arguing, too, and even more of them were asking where you were then.
And then Morthu of Angas said that we should wait until you came back, if you were going to, and at present it seemed as if Aylsfa and Nene were without kings. He'd just opened his mouth to say something about the High Kingdom. I was really quite close to him, and the only way I could think of to shut him up was to knock him down."
"With your ax?" Urdo asked, very stern.
"No!" Ulf sounded sorry. "With my foot. I kicked him in the back, and then I jumped off Smoky and we had a little go-round. I just hit him. There weren't any weapons involved.
But some of his friends came to help him, and some of my friends came to help me, and Father Gerthmol was bleating all the time about God and demons and evil. I punched someone in Luth's pennon as well as Morthu. I don't know who it was, but she'd drawn a dagger."
"Would you know her again?" I asked.
"No, sir," he said, still not looking at me, his face absolutely wooden. I'm sure Urdo also guessed he was lying, but neither of us said anything. "But anyway, about then Raul came forward and just pushed between us, bare-handed, calling out to stop, and we all did stop
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fighting. He's a brave one, even if he is a priest. Then he had a shouting match with Father Gerthmol, saying you were no evildoer but the true king and that you might need help up there in the hills with that great creature. Then he said he was going, and ap Erbin backed him up. Father Gerthmol said if he did he would throw him out of Thansethan, and Raul said that was fine, he wanted to leave anyway, and Father Gerthmol said he was giving him back his vows. So he looked around for a horse and a spear, and as I was next to him I gave him mine, and Smoky, too. And ap Erbin was giving orders to the whole ala to mount up and take up formation, but I couldn't because I didn't have my horse, so I stayed down." He drew a breath. "Raul and ap Erbin between them had stopped the fighting, but there was still arguing when they were gone. Father Gerthmol said it was clear we'd never see any of them again, and he wanted an escort to take Cinon's body to Thansethan. Cinon's men didn't like that idea; they wanted to take him home to Caer Rangor. Sidrok was asking if he was king of Aylsfa and hinting around taking the pebble if Father Gerthmol would crown him. Not that that would last for two minutes back home with his people. He's not much of a Jarnish king, that one, whatever he thinks. Ap Selevan and I just stood over Cinon, watching each other's backs. And Morthu was saying things, not much, but calling Sidrok brother and doing little things to change the way people were thinking. I wanted to fight him—in fact I was sorry I hadn't used my ax and killed him before."
I found myself raising my chin in agreement. Ulf wasn't looking, but Urdo frowned at me.
"There's no proof Morthu is involved," he said.
"He's a snake in any case," Ulf said.
"Being a snake is not proof of evildoing," Urdo said. "Not all snakes have poison in their fangs.
And he is the brother of Angas and of Penarwen. Killing him would have serious consequences.
Do you have any proof, either of you, that he was involved?" He looked at each of us.
I had to shake my head. I put down my empty bowl and shivered; the evening was becoming cold. I reached over and pulled on my tunic. Ulf said nothing for a long moment.
Armigers were moving around the camp, and there was singing a little way off, but nobody came near us.
"That he writes letters isn't proof, and neither is a dream anyone might have read. Nor is Suliensson's word that he hates him. The things he was saying, well, I don't like him either. I will watch out for him, but I must stay within the law I have made, or it is no law."
Now for the first time that evening Ulf s eyes met mine, and for once we were in agreement. "I will change his pennon so that he does not go to Thansethan so much," I said. "I will not kill him without honor, but I will not endanger my son either."
"Do you really think he would attack Suhensson?" Urdo asked.
"Only if he could make it look as if it wasn't his fault," I said. "The way Morthu was looking at him was enough to kill him on the spot. It reminded me of his mother."
"Then don't send him to Thansethan, but don't harm him either," Urdo said.
"But Urdo—" I stopped, I wasn't sure what words could reach him in this mood. "He hates us all, he hates everything we stand for, he is an enemy as sure as Sweyn ever was, or his mother Morwen. I am sure of it from the way he looked at Darien. I am even more sure he had a hand in planning that than Flavien did."
"Well, and if he hates us?" Urdo sighed. "He was brought up to hate me, but then so was Angas, and he is one of my most loyal people. You fought against me, Ulf, and you are loyal to me now.
Morthu can come to understand what we are doing, come to realize he was wrong. He is very clever to have planned this, if he did, and he is only eighteen now,
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and he has only been with us for two years. I don't like him, I admit it, and I've been busy, and I've not been giving him much of my time, even though he's my nephew. You don't like him either, Sullen, so you haven't been giving him much of your time. Little wonder he's had time to plot mischief."
"Mischief?" I said, my voice rising. "Arvlid was raped and killed, and Darien would have been killed—"
"Morthu may have been plotting. He didn't do it. Maybe coming into contact with the reality of it will have taught him something." Urdo shook his head. "It would be wrong of us not to try to teach him better. We can set him good examples and talk to him. We don't even know if he did it. I will not go outside the law on this, or have you go outside the law."
"I wish there could have been a trial within the law for Cinon," Ulf growled. "That way we'd have found out who was helping him."
"That is out of our hands," Urdo said. "But you did well, Ulf. You didn't kill anyone and you stopped Morthu from speaking treason I couldn't have ignored."
"Father Gerthmol spoke treason," I said.
"That was a misunderstanding," Urdo said, firmly, and smiled. "He has admitted he was wrong, and in front of everyone acknowledged that I am king with my own responsibilities."
Urdo yawned. "It's late," he said. "Tomorrow I have to deal with young Cinon."
He and Ulf said good night then and went off to their own tents. I went inside mine and lay down, praying that Darien was safe and wishing that Ulf had killed Morthu, whatever it might have done to the King's Law and to the politics of the kingdom.
—38—
"I have the blood of gods and kings, I have walked among giants beyond the North Wind, but here I am dying surrounded by fools. When will you understand it's time to end these squabbles and look forward? "
— Last words of Emrys ap Gwerthus, as recorded by
St. Sethan
The only reason I didn't kill Morthu in the years that followed was because Urdo trusted in my honor, and I could not violate that trust. Respect for the law wouldn't have stopped me. I believed Darien, and even without looking any further at what Morthu might do to the kingdom, I wanted to protect my son. But the law meant so much to Urdo, and I could not betray him as Marchel had done. So although Morthu accused me afterwards of putting him into harm's way when I could, I did not, no more than for any of my armigers. Neither, which would have been more to my taste, did I run him through at practice, nor request Ulf to hit him on the head with his ax. I will not say I did not think of these things, but I did not do them. Certainly I kept a close watch on Morthu, and certainly that did not escape him. Also Urdo went out of his way to spend time with him, and Morthu was attentive to him and to Elenn and seemed to all appearances to be learning our ways as Angas had before him. When next he acted it was in a way that I did not expect.
There were two good years after Arvhd's death. Apart from Morthu, the constant worm in the apple, they were very good. Raul was back and Urdo was much happier. He often had time to talk to me in the evenings again, playing fidchel or just talking about the alae and the land, or whatever came into our heads; laws, taxes, integrating the Jarmsh foot soldiers into the army, or why it always rains in Tevin. My ala was well trained and thriving. There was peace at last, real peace, and the land prospered. Foals were plentiful as people decided to breed their mares now they were not needed for battle every season.
Ap Erbin and Alswith married and had their baby, and the year after another baby.
Garah and Glyn also had another child that year, and their older children were finally old enough to talk and play with and understand properly. Babies are all very well, little children who will say "Tantie Sulien" and beg for rides are better, but talking children who can ask questions about the world and start riding properly are best of all. I remember putting Garah's oldest and Ayl's oldest both up on Starlight and leading them around the near pasture at Caer Tanaga. It was a reward for keeping their heels in riding and not making a fuss when they fell off their ponies. They looked very small on Starlight's broad back, and they were almost too excited to keep still. It's strange to think of them being grown-up and married now, and king and queen of Aylsfa.
Both of those years there were very good harvests, and plenty of food for people and animals.
My mother wrote to me that they were using the dowager Rowanna's methods of scything grain and hay, and yields were increasing. She also begged me to get the plant from Ayl he used to make his strange pink dye. He gave it to me willingly enough, and I sent it off to Derwen. I visited Magor and Derwen only once, when Veniva sent to tell me that Duke Galba was dying. I was there in time to speak to him. I was sad to see him go; the old man had always been very kind to me. My mother cut her hair for him. He was almost the last of the friends of her youth. Aurien was very cold and formal all the time when I was there. I did not try to push her to a friendship neither of us felt. At Duke Galba's pyre I remembered Galba's, but Emer and Lew were there, decorously beside Idrien and Uthbad, and no messenger came to interrupt with news of an invasion. Aurien ran Magor after that, until little Galbian should be old enough. Morien promised to give her whatever help she needed.
Every few months I rode to Thansethan, escorting Elenn. I visited Darien and spent time with him. I took him leather riding clothes like the ones I had worn at his age, practice spears, and a shield. The best protection I could give him was knowing how to fight. I would have had a sword made for him, but Urdo stopped me, saying it was too soon.