The Kinky Side Scrooge of Scrooge (14 page)

Chapter Twenty Five
             

Once in his car he set the GPS with the address Jack had sent him and started his journey.

It was a long ride, and he got rain and even snow on the way, but he drove nonstop. He wanted to get there and feel at least closer to her.

He arrived to her home town past ten o'clock. Though he knew it was too late to go knocking at their door, he drove his car straight there. The house was decorated with Christmas lights all over, and there was light in all the windows of the ground floor, and you could see several people wandering from one room to another. It looked like they really took the holidays seriously.

Unwilling to ruin their night he started the car to go find a hotel to spend the night, when the main door opened up and she came out, alone, closing the door behind her.

It was cold outside, it had snowed earlier and you could still see some of the snow on people's gardens, but she came out just wearing a light sweater. She sat in a swing on the porch, and hid her face on her hands.

Even from a certain distance he could feel the pain in her.

Before he could think much about it, he turned off the car and hopped out of it. He needed to make her pain go away, even if it meant to replace it with rage.

He walked silently to where she was and with every step he took, her sobs sounded louder. He knelt in front of her.

"Please don’t cry, girl." He whispered, resting his hands on her knees.

She uncovered her face and looked at him astonished.

"You… what are you doing here?" she whispered as well, as if she wasn’t sure he was real.

"I know you told me to stay out of your life, but I can't, I just don’t know how to live without you anymore." He confessed, holding her cold hands in his.

"Toys are easily replaced. You didn’t look long enough." She retorted, pushing her hands out of his. "Please leave, I don’t want my family to see you here." She added, getting up.

He lowered his head but nodded. He knew it was late but he hadn’t been able to resist the sight of her.

"I'll leave, but I'll come back tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow and the days it takes me to gain your forgiveness." He warned her, getting up, restraining the strong desire to hold her in his arms and never let go.

"There's nothing to forgive. Actually, I appreciated your honesty. It stopped me from wasting any more time waiting on an impossible dream." Her reply was filled with self-scorn, as she hugged herself, rubbing her arms.

"That morning I was anything but honest. I was a coward, a liar, an arrogant bastard… all you want to call me, but not honest, because not even a single word I uttered carried any truth in it." He admitted, but he knew she didn’t believe him. Gently, he wiped a tear from her cheek, feeling her shudder under his touch. "You should go in, it's too cold out here. But, know this, I won't give up. I've already wasted too much time of my life being afraid of my feelings."

"Feelings? Do you even know the meaning of that word,
Alec
?" she asked, emphasizing his name to let him know he no longer was her Master. That simple act hurt like stab to his heart, but he knew he deserved it.

"I learned it in the past twenty four hours and I will not forget it again."

"I'm glad for you, but I won't go through this again. I've wasted too many tears over you, I'm not doing it again." Her pain was clear in every word.

"I know I don’t deserve another chance, but I just can't give up."

"What do I have to do to convince you I won't change my mind?"

"Convince me I've killed any feelings you might have felt for me and I'll leave you alone." He gave her the weapon able to destroy him, but the stubborn hope lit on his heart refused to believe she was going to be able to use it.

She looked at him for a few moments and seemed to make a decision.

"Wait here." She entered the house and was away for a few minutes. When she came back, she was wearing a coat and carried her purse. "Have you checked in at the hotel?"

"Not yet, I was about to look for it when I saw you come out earlier."

"I'll take you there and then we can talk."

They drove off in his car and only a couple of minutes later they were parking the SUV in the hotel's parking lot. He checked in and she followed him to his room. She was too quiet for his likings and that worried him. She had always been feisty, foulmouthed and he had always loved that in her. This quiet Katherine worried him.

Once they reached his bedroom, she walked to the window and stared outside for a while, before she turned to meet his gaze. "Why did you come after me again?"

"I finally realized what I had been doing to myself for the past fourteen years…" he explained all to her. He told her about his mother, his father, about Rose and all his failed relationships and the way they all had contributed to make him a mistrustful, arrogant bastard. "You were able to shake the pillars of my high dais ever since the moment you almost knocked me to the ground on the dark street. All my convictions started to crumble little by little every time we were together. The night you left me for the first time, the connection between us was so strong, it overwhelmed me and scared the hell out of me. I wasn’t ready for that, for that kind of emotional intensity and I acted as I knew best: like a cruel asshole."

She snorted but didn’t say a word.

He considered telling her about the spirits’ visit, but he could tell she was reluctant to believe him. Adding that part of the story would probably blow his chances with her. “When I realized I had sent you away after an intense rope scene and how dangerous the drop can be, I panicked and tried to find you and when I did, relief and rage mixed and none of what I had planned to tell you came out of my mouth. Despite that, somehow I managed to get you back.” He rubbed his face, feeling the tiredness of the last twenty four hours start to affect him. “The time you lived with me is the happiest I recall living. I had never felt so happy, so fulfilled in my entire life. Going home acquired a new meaning, because it meant I would find you there.”

“How can you say all that when you said I was nothing more than a good fucking toy?” she finally broke her silence but her words were filled of bitterness and self-disdain. “I doubt you can experience warm feelings over a person so it’s kind of hard to believe you were happy living with a toy.”

“Those words will haunt me for the rest of my life.” He accepted taking a step closer to her, just to see her take a step back. “Katherine, I’ve never considered any of my submissives a toy, I certainly would never consider you. You have been special to me since the first moment.”

“Well I’m sorry but I find that hard to believe. You kept me away from your life, you made me sleep alone, you never introduced me to any of your friends, you never took me out on a date, you refused to meet my friends and finally you refused to meet my family, even though I had told you how important that was to me.” She enounced all his misdeeds.

“I was afraid, I didn’t want to share you with anyone. Every time I took you to the club I was afraid you might meet someone that would convince you, you were better off without me.”  

“And you thought that by insulting me you would keep me?” her ironic disbelief hurt him.

“Of course not, but I tend to defend myself when I feel at bay.”

His answer only made angrier. “I wasn’t trying to put at bay, Alec, I just wanted to make you part of all my life.”

“I know, and now I understand that, and that’s why I’m here. To ask you to forgive me.” He admitted taking another step closer to her just to see her take another step back.

“Very well, I forgive you. I understand you had trusting issues, and that you solved them somehow. That makes me happy for you, and I wish you all the luck in the world.”

“But…?”

“You have hurt me too much for me to trust you again. I admit we lived amazing moments but I’m sure you’ll find someone more suitable for you.”

“I don’t want anybody else.” He assured her.

“Why? And taking the risk of being repetitive I’ll ask you again: What am I to you?" she asked bracing herself.

“I heard the description a friend made of his wife and I believe it fits perfectly to what you are to me: you are the owner of my heart and the keeper of my soul. I love you more than life itself. ”

Katherine looked at him wanting to believe his words so much but too afraid.

“Would you still love me if I told I don’t love you?” she asked, deciding to put his love to test, using his past experiences.

He visibly cringed before answering. “My love for you doesn’t depend on either you love me or not.”

She gathered all her inner strength before she proceeded.

“The truth is I really enjoyed living with you, having all I might need and working only when I want, having a luxurious life… would you accept me back in your house even if I don’t love you?”

Her words felt like daggers and he looked at her. Could she be telling the truth? That she would be with him just for what he could give her? He filtered all the time she had been with him and he had never seen anything that might hint that she was a material person. She had never asked him anything material. So this is was a test and he had to approve it.

“I would take back under any condition. My love would be enough for both of us.” He finally answered, with a resolved expression in his face.

“Any condition? You should be careful with what you say, I might take your word for it.”

“Any condition, Katherine, I would trust my whole life to you.”

“Aren’t you afraid I might abuse of the power you’re giving me?”

“No, not you.”

“But I don’t love you.”

“Even so, it’s not in you to hurt other people on purpose.”

“How can I trust this change of hearts of yours?” she asked, tears rolling down her cheeks.

“I didn’t change, girl, think about it. When did I treat you like an object? Remember all the amazing moments we lived together.” He closed the distance between them, not stopping until he had her in his arms. “I’ve always treated you like what you really are to me: the most precious treasure I’ve ever had.” He wiped the tears from her face. “My stupid fears made me lie to you and I know I hurt you, deeply with my words. But I love you, and life without you isn’t worth living.” He cuddled her face with his hands and kissed her deeply.

She started crying out loud and he held her tight in his arms until she calmed down again.

“I love you so much…” she murmured against his chest.

A wave of relief rushed through his body and he hugged her tighter.

“I love you too, girl. And this time we’ll do things right: I’ll meet your family and ask your father permission to marry you.” She chuckled and hugged him back.

“I would love that Master.”

That word back in her mouth felt wonderfully and he promised himself he was going to cherish her like he had never done in his life.

He carried her in his arms towards the bed and they spent the rest of the night recovering the lost time

Excerpts from Bound Discipline

She shouldn’t have accepted to join Mark that night at the club. The look in his eyes, when he asked her to, had sent a shudder down her spine, and ever since that moment she had felt nervous and jumpy. What could he possibly have in mind for that night?

So far he had made her experience so much that sometimes, her mind seemed to need time to process it all.

But nothing could keep her from going and she knew it.

She arrived at the club and Sally informed her that he was already in. She looked around the reception room and for her surprise, she found Emily there.

She felt the blood rushing to her face as she approached her friend.

"Emily!" she stammered. "What are you doing here?"

Her friend smiled, patting the seat next to her on the couch. Rose walked towards her and sat next to her.

"I'm guessing the same thing you are." she answered, teasingly. "Are you here to meet Mark?"

"Yes, we are sort of dating…?" she said, unable to describe her relationship with the man, in a more accurate way.

"It was obvious that first night you two had something going on, Rose." Emily interrupted her. "And this isn't the first time he brings you back here, right?"

"No, but I still get so nervous sometimes I think I'll pass out!" Rose said, wringing her hands.  "What about you? Are you meeting Damian?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Yes, I am, but he is running a bit late tonight." Her friend answered.

"Oh!" Rose sighed, still obviously nervous. "I shouldn’t have come, this is insane, I knew it, but he was so convincing…" she blurted out.

"Don’t you want to be with him? Did he coerce you in anyway?" Emily asked her, suddenly worried.

"No!" Rose almost shouted. "It's just I don’t seem to be able to handle this guy, I mean…" she ran her fingers nervously, through the leather 'play collar' as he called it, that she was wearing on her neck.

"I know what you mean." Emily agreed.

"Can you go in with me? I would feel so much more comfortable with you there." She asked Emily. Having her friend next to her would make her feel so much better.

Emily seemed to hesitate.

"Please?" Rose insisted, grabbing her friend's hands.

"Sally, do you think it would be ok if I go in with my friend and wait for Master Damian there with her and Master Mark?" Emily turned to ask the other woman.

"Well, I guess. I'll warn Master Damian where he can find you." Sally said, smiling.

Rose filled up her forms quickly and soon they were both in the main room.

"Can you see Mark?" Rose asked Emily, looking around impatiently. The place was crowded and it was a bit hard to find someone in it.

"Didn’t you settle a meeting place?" Emily asked her.

"I didn’t think I would need it." Rose answered her, furious with herself for not thinking of that, and furious with Mark for not being there, even if that was a bit illogical.

"Let's walk around the room, to see if we can spot him." Emily suggested and they walked around the room with no luck.

"I don’t understand! Sally told me he was already here. I know I arrived a bit sooner than expected, but, where the hell can he be?" Rose said, stamping her foot on the floor, frustrated.

"Why don’t we sit at a table and wait there? Maybe he is in one of the dungeons and won't come up until your settled hour." Emily suggested her, smiling amused.

"Yes, maybe you are right. Why don’t you go ahead and find us a table? I need to use the ladies room first." The nervousness always affected her bladder.

"Ok, but please don’t take too long." Emily said.

"I won't." Rose promised and headed to the ladies room. She did what she had to do and came out only a couple of minutes later. She still had fifteen minutes to wait for Mark.

She walked to the tables' area but Emily was nowhere to be found.

Rose looked around, looking for her, but she couldn’t find her.

Shrugging, she assumed Damian had arrived and that she had left with him.

At that moment, she felt a shiver run down her spine and she quickly turned around just to find Mark standing a few steps away from her, his strong arms crossed over his chest. He was wearing black leather pants and vest and he looked like a damn Viking that had just walked out of his boat, ready to raid the peasant's village. His blue eyes had this dangerous glow that was able to forget everything else around them.

"Good evening, little rose." He said, with a devious smile. "Are you ready for me?" he asked, his tone showing he didn’t expect anything other than a 'yes, master'.

"Good evening, Master Mark. Actually, I was heading to the bar for a drink, after all, it's still early." She answered, determined to poke him.

He smiled, and she had the infuriating sensation that he could read her like an open book.

"Then I'll join you. I could use a glass of cold water." He said, taking her by her arm and guiding her towards the bar. He ordered for both of them, and they lingered there, enjoying their cold beverages.

They didn’t have much time there when Damian approached them.

"Mark!" he said as he reached his friend. "Where's Emily?"

"She's not with you?" Rose asked, stepping up, to face him.

"Of course not, I'm just arriving!" Damian almost shouted. "Where is she?"

Rose lost all color from her cheeks, as she realized Emily was missing.

"She came in with me, and I left her alone for a few minutes while I went to the ladies room. She was supposed to wait for me at a table, but when I came out she wasn’t anywhere to be seen, so I assumed you had arrived and that she was with you." She explained to both men.

"Damn!" Damian swore, looking worried and furious at the same time.

"She wasn’t wearing your collar?" Mark asked, understanding the possibilities.

"No! I was going to talk to her about that today! Damn!" Damian rubbed his hand over his face. "Do we have too many guests around today?" he asked Mark.

"Yes, half a dozen men, from Russia, that came with the Russian consul." Mark answered, expressing the same worry as Damian.

"Shit! Please gather a few monitors and make them look for her. She is reddish, with green eyes and a very white skin." He shouted the orders as he started running towards the stairs that led to the dungeons.

Mark turned around to face Rose.

"Wait here for me! Don't move a single muscle, not even to go to the ladies room." Mark's order was clear and raw. He was furious and worried, and that wasn’t a good combination.

He ran after Damian and Rose watched him disappear worried for Emily. It wasn’t like her to disappear like that.

She stood there watching the seconds ran by on her watch, looking around, wanting to go look for her friend, but paralyzed by Mark's words. He would kill her if he returned and she wasn’t there. He didn’t need more trouble right now.

So, she stood there, bouncing from one foot to the other, looking desperately around and following the slow advance of the watch.

Finally, she saw Mark with other monitors walking a man to the exit. She took a step to go meet him, just to take it back. She crossed her arms tight around her chest, even more worried. A few minutes later she saw Damian coming out of the hall way with Emily and this time she had to make a huge effort not to run towards her friend. She watched them leave the club, feeling helpless.

Mark soon returned to where she was. His face didn’t inspire anything good. He was furious and she guessed good part of it was directed at her.

He grabbed her by her arm and almost dragged her to the upper floor, to one of the private rooms.

He chose one that looked like a small medieval dungeon, and she felt shivers ran down her spine. That didn’t look good for her.

"Assume your position." Were his first words to her and she didn’t doubt obeying.

"Yes, Master." She fell to her knees, her buttocks resting over her ankles, hands behind her back and her head down.

He stood in front of her and raised her chin with one of his fingers.

"What role did you play in this situation?" his tone was harsh and cold like a winter's day.

"I met Emily at the entrance and asked her to accompany me inside, Master." She answered. "I didn’t notice she wasn’t wearing a collar, so I left her alone for just a couple of minutes while I went to the ladies room."

"She was grabbed by a foreign guest and he was about to torture her and god knows what else." He informed, his words spewing rage. "He completely ignored her cries for help and her safe word."

"Oh, god. She didn’t want to come in, but I insisted, and I was so nervous she ended up accepting." Rose stammered, almost speaking for herself.

"So you induced her to disobey her Dom." He concluded.

"I didn’t know she had been told to stay there." She replied, protesting for the unfair comment.

"Don’t you think you should have known better? After all I had explained in great detail the dangers of wandering alone and uncollared through the club." His tone was even colder and she shuddered.

"Yes, Master, I should have known better." And she did. When she asked Emily to enter the main room with her, she should have checked if she had a collar on, and she hadn’t. And if that wasn’t enough, she had left her alone. "I'm terribly sorry." She added, a silent tear running down from the corner of her eye.

"You will be." He said, and his menacing tone made her close her eyes, not scared, but yes concerned. "The minute you made her enter the club with you, she became your responsibility and you neglected that.

"Yes Master." She admitted the weight of what might have happened, downing on her. Her nervousness had taken the best of her and she had missed important things.

"What should I do to you now, little rose?" he asked, his tone still harsh, but the rage was gone.

His question, though, made her sob. Was he giving up on her? She knew she had been complaining that she didn’t know how to handle him, but if one thing she had clear, was that she didn’t want to lose him. Not yet.