The Kiss Off (12 page)

“So do you want to come to the studio some time?”

“Yeah but…” I stopped. I didn’t know how to word it. How did I say what I wanted to say without sounding like a love sick dork?

“What? What’s up?”

“Listen, I want to know something. Do you…” I stopped and looked away, embarrassed.

“What is it?”

“Are we, are we just hanging out because you like my song writing skills or, well, or do you like me as something other than that? Because I’m a little confused and-”

“Oh,” he said, ruffling the back of his hair with a smile. Oh God, he was embarrassed.

“I’m sorry, Poppy.”

Oh-my-god he didn’t like me. “Oh – it’s okay!” He didn’t like me, he hated me. I needed to go and die of embarrassment now. “It doesn’t matter. I didn’t mean…it’s not like -” Oh no. I had completely lost control of my mouth, my voice. It was all just coming out something had to stop me please stop-

“No, that’s not what I’m saying,” Ty said.

“…It’s not?”

“No. I was going to call you but everything’s just been happening so fast.”

“Okay…”

“Go out with me,” Ty said, taking my hands in his. “Go out with me, on a real date. Just you and me, none of this, no…”

“No loading docks?” I said with a smirk.

“Not that I mind loading docks,” he said, a wicked smile playing at his lips. “But no loading docks this time. Just you and me and someplace nicer.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he said and he leaned down and kissed me. “Yeah, I mean it.”

***

Chapter Eleven

So Ty and I started dating and it was great. The band was mostly holed up in the studio recording their album, but somehow he still made time for me. We went to chill lounges and watched big bands play, went for walks in the park, the arcade and music stores to check out the newest guitars and lust after the Mahogany Les Paul. We went to the Hard Rock Cafe a couple of times - not for the food (though their buffalo wings aren’t bad) but to ogle all the music memorabilia. And we hung out with the rest of the band. When I started seeing Ty, I didn’t just get him, but a whole extra set of friends. Sebastian, the other guitarist and singer had a car. Sometimes after school I’d find his rusty white van, with Academy of Lies bumper stickers in a line all around the exterior, sitting outside the school gate. It was filled with Sebastian, Ty, Tommy, Archie and the two girls from the merchandise table. Nikki was at the gate too most days, in her little red Golf, waiting for Cam. She would always watch as I walked over to the van, the way the door slid open and they all cheered and I was enveloped in a group hug and Ty would tilt my chin up and kiss me. Cam walked out to the car with Nikki and watched too.

I gotta admit it, I felt smug. There was me and the gorgeous rock star and band and my new girlfriends – all of whom were older and infinitely cooler than Canikki – and then there was Cam and Nikki. One time, Ty had bounded out of the van and picked me up and twirled me around before literally sweeping me off my feet Old Hollywood style and kissing me right there at the school gate in front of everyone, including Cam and Nikki. A bit dazed, but back on my feet, I’d looked over at Cam and he turned to Nikki to give her a big over-the-top kiss too but she had rolled her eyes, pushed his face away and told him to get in the car.

Yeah, I was definitely smug.

I was taken in immediately as one of the group, one of the crew. Lana, the blond, was Tommy’s girlfriend and Jeri, the one with the pink pixie cut was with Seb, and I was with Ty, it was only Archie who was flying solo, but he didn’t seem to mind. We went to the movies and talked really loud and annoyed other diners when we went to dinner, and we hung out at the studio and their apartment. Ty and I made out in the darkness on the balcony, overlooking the city skyline, all lit up at night. Sometimes we went into his bedroom and talked and kissed on his bed, but I kept breaking away when it got too heavy, and he didn’t push me. Sometimes I wished he would, though. Guess I’d found me a gentleman. A gentleman rock star - I hadn’t realized they even existed. Anyway, it had only been a few weeks and it wasn’t like we’d had the whole “are you my boyfriend?” “yes” “are you my girlfriend?” “yes” conversation and updated our Facebook relationship statuses or anything, but we were good. It was on and I was officially happy.

***

Later that week, I was walking slowly down Randlewood Avenue with Mads and Vanya, a stack of ‘Found’ posters in my arm. Vanya was holding a roll of tape and we paused at each lamppost we came to. I held a poster with a photo of the dog on it against the post and Vanya taped it up. Mads supervised. We had been putting these things up for a couple of weeks now - mostly Rory and I were charged with the job and even though we’d been doing it forever Mom still wouldn’t let us stop. For some reason they kept getting torn down, so we had to repaper the entire neighbourhood. Mom told Rory to drop them into all the mailboxes for two blocks around us, but I doubted he had done it. He had really grown attached to the dog. He was teaching it to sit and everything. And it was working – he would sit when Rory told him to, and every fifth time you told him to stay, he would
not
come over and slobber all over you. It was an improvement. Mom and Dad had a hell of a time washing the stink off of him - they had been doing it in the bathtub but moved the whole operation out to the backyard when he started shaking soap suds out of his fur and all over them and the room. Mom didn’t seem to have such a grudge against him now that he didn’t smell so dead and she could tell him to sit when she walked by and he wouldn’t jump her. He was even allowed in the house more now. But we weren’t keeping him, Mom had made that clear. Dad didn’t seem to mind either way. It was probably a good thing he was going though, as much as he had grown on me and hadn’t humped my leg since that first day, Rory had dubbed him Poo Bum and the stupid dog had learnt it was his name so now any time you wanted him to come, you had to call ‘Poo’. It was a travesty.

“What I don’t get is why Mrs. Fyffe is so swoony over that Mr. Darcy guy,” Mads said as she watched me hold a poster against a pole. “I mean he’s a bit of an ass, don’t you think? Completely full of himself.”

“Mmm, maybe he’s proud,” Vanya suggested.

“What’s he got to be proud of? All I know is Fyffe must have a thing for arrogant jack asses.”

“Finish the book, Mads,” Vanya sighed.

“Or at least watch the movie,” I said. “I watched the movie last week – it’s insanely long, but I don’t know, you have to love Darcy,” I shared a smile with Vanya.

Mads turned to me, appalled. “Oh jeez. You too?” She shook her head in disgust. “Well I’m not interested in arrogant jack asses. I like adorable, sweet boys who love me, like Dev.”

“Dev loves you?” I said doubtfully.

Mads nodded, smiling blissfully. She twirled on the spot in happiness.

“So you two are back together?”

“I called him last night and then I went over and we talked and I cried and he forgave me.”

“Wow,” I said. “Congratulations Mads.”

“I plan to spend every night this week with him to make up for being a drunken skeez.”

“How are you going to write the essay if you spend every night with Dev and you don’t even know what the book’s about?” Vanya said. “You know it’s due next week, right?” My stomach flippity-flopped. That had come up quickly.

“Relax, I’ve got it covered,” Mads said. “It’s simple really. It’s due Friday… So Van, can I come over on Thursday?”

Van was hitting Mads as we turned the corner and I was laughing at them which could be how I ran straight into someone. Our foreheads clanked together and I fell a step backward, holding my head.

“Ow! Sorry,” I said. “I should have been…” I stopped talking when I saw who I had collided with. Nikki was rubbing her forehead, too.

“Hi Poppy,” she said. “It’s fine, I always knew what a klutz you were.” The hint of a smile played at her lips.

“
Excuse
me?” Mads stepped in front of me. She clearly couldn’t see the smile. Nikki shuffled back as Mads stepped right up in her face. “You don’t get to call her a klutz.”

“Mads, don’t,” I said. But she wasn’t listening.

“Hey,” Mads said, sniffing. “What’s that disgusting stench? Wait, I think I know it,” she focussed her gaze squarely on Nikki. “It’s
eau de skank
.”

Nikki narrowed her eyes, and gave a tight ruby-red smile. “What was that? I think I hear the pot calling the kettle whore.”

Oh no she didn’t.

“I saw you at the Academy gig that time, making out and grinding on a boy you
didn’t
come with.” Vanya and I stepped forward, we could tell where this was heading. Bitch was about to get slapped.

“That’s it!” As Mads lunged forward, we grabbed an arm each and held her in place. Nikki stepped back again, out of Mads’s reach.

“Maddie, stop it!” Vanya said.

“Jeez Mads, it’s not worth it.”

“Come ‘ere!” Mads yelled, jerking us forward as she lunged again, hands scrabbling at thin air. Nikki folded her arms and shook her head. “Poppy, you better put your dog on a leash,” she said, walking a wide circle around us as she passed. “Or she might get put down.”

Mads growled and I tightened my hold on her bicep.

“See you around, skank!” Mads yelled. Nikki strode away, her head held high. Mads’s body loosened, and we let go of her arms as she glared at Nikki’s back. I remember thinking about it when I first met Nikki, how alike she and Mads were. Both boy crazy and…well, just a bit crazy in general. There was this one time at Myron’s when it was this thirteen year old boy’s birthday and we were all singing Happy Birthday and Nikki had climbed up on a neighboring table and sang to him Marilyn Monroe-style. When she winked and blew him a kiss at the end, I’d never seen anyone’s face go that red. She would have gotten in trouble if the patrons hadn’t liked it so much and the kid’s dad hadn’t slipped her a twenty for being such a good sport. During the summer I had been dying for Mads to get back so I could introduce them. They probably would have gotten along if things were different.

“I honestly don’t know how you were friends with her,” Mads said. “What a bitch.”

“She can’t be that bad a person if Poppy was friends with her,” Van said, crouching to pick up the posters and tape where we had thrown them onto the sidewalk. “Maybe she just made bad choices. You can’t help who you like.” I looked away, feeling weird, feeling guilty. Had I just been in the way of Cam and Nikki, the greatest love story ever known? Had I made too big a deal about this?

“Oh, good one, Van,” Mads said sarcastically, giving her a slow clap. Vanya looked up at us, surprised.

“What did I say?”

“Were you or were you not justifying that skank and the cheater hooking up behind Poppy’s back?”

I felt a stab of pain in my gut, like an invisible being had thrust a knife into me. Or at least I assume that’s how it felt. Just hearing those words brought it all back so vividly, like it was that night at the end of the summer all over again.

“I’m not defending them, Mads.”

“That’s what it sounded like to me.”

“Well, it’s not what I meant.”

“Stop it, shut up,” I said. “She wasn’t saying that, Mads. And what does it matter anymore, anyway?”

Mads’s mouth gaped open. I could nearly see her tonsils. “What do you mean ‘what does it matter’?” she asked, outraged.

“It was ages ago,” I said. “I’ve gotta let it go, you’ve got to let it go. It happened. I’m moving on. Sure, I don’t want to be friends anymore, but I don’t think attacking her in the street is going to solve anything, either.”

“Yeah, that was a bit over the top, don’t you think, Mads?” Vanya said.

“You’re moving on, are you?” Mads said. “You’re moving on. Okay, well I wasn’t going to tell you this, but Dev told me he was at the drug store with Cam one time and Cam was buying condoms. And he seemed to know what he was doing too, which ones he wanted to get. All experienced with the buying of the condoms.”

I didn’t say anything, as my whole body oozed and shuddered, and my stomach spat lava against its walls. Maybe I needed an antacid.

“They’re having
sex
, Poppy.”

“I get it, Mads,” I said. I cleared my throat and stuck my chin in the air and continued walking. I stopped at the next light post and held up a poster. Vanya obediently taped it down.

“It’s only natural, I guess,” Vanya said. “I mean it’s the next step, right?”

“Yes,” I said. “It is. He can do what he wants. I’ve moved on, I have Ty.”

“Have you and Ty done it?” Mads asked.

“What? Maddie!”

“It’s a legitimate question, since it’s ‘only natural’ and everything,” she said. “So come on, have you?”

“Have you and Dev?”

Mads’s shoulders slumped. She could tell I was changing the topic, or at least diverting it, but she let me do it.

“Not even. We haven’t been together at one time long enough. We keep breaking up. Just as everything seems great and I’m so into him, I’m a complete loser and do something to screw it up,” she said. “So no. We haven’t. I’m not going to screw things up this time though. We will. I promise. Now your turn. Have you, or have you not had sex with the almost-rock star?”