The Knight and the Dove (15 page)

Megan stood, nodded to those around her, and walked from the room, her bearing resembling that of a queen. It wasn’t long before some of the others left as well, but Stephen found Brice standing alone, a fierce frown on his young face.

“Are you ill, my brother?” Stephen asked.

“What is wrong with her?”

“Her?” Stephen replied, although he knew exactly to whom Brice referred.

“Megan.” Brice’s voice held strong aversion. “How dare she treat Bracken in such a manner.”

“Do not be too hard on her, Brice; she reacts out of fear.”

“Fear!” Brice scoffed and finally faced his older sibling. “What has she to fear? Certainly not Bracken.”

Stephen wisely held his tongue, but he did believe that Bracken was at the core of Megan’s fears and thus her animosity toward him was clearly explained. The brothers did not discuss it again, but Stephen wondered when Brice would find that all men had feet of clay, even their beloved Bracken.

Megan had little contact with Bracken or his brothers in the days to follow, and as much as she tried to fight the emotion, despondency was stealing over her. It seemed to Megan that the castle and keep crawled with people and she could find no solitude of any kind. The only place where she found quiet was her room, but after too many hours within those walls, she had begun to feel vaguely suffocated, a feeling which didn’t prove to be very restful.

Megan had not been sleeping well. Several times she had awakened
in the chair by the fireplace but not remembered getting there. If she was walking in her sleep, what was keeping her from leaving the room? Not having an answer to her question made Megan even more restless. Feeling almost desperate, she made for the fortress gate and freedom. The guards did nothing to block her path, and to her amazement not even Arik seemed to notice.

Once outside the walls Megan walked on and on, some of the tall grasses coming over her knees. The scape surrounding Hawkings Crest was lovely; and Megan felt her heart calming as she took in the trees and lush landscape.

It really is lovely here, Father God,
she prayed in her heart.
I thought nothing could match Stone Lake, but Hawkings Crest is like a rich paradise.

Megan stopped and watched several squirrels at play, knowing they must have been young with the way they gamboled and chased up the trees. Megan’s face broke into a brief smile before she continued to pray.

Please help me to find the same peace in my heart as I see in your creation. Father Brent taught me that contentment is my choice, Father God, and I have not been doing a good job. Please fill my heart and life with You so that my situation or circumstances do not matter.

She hiked on for over an hour, praying and praising God, before sinking down under a tree. The sun sprinkled brightly over her in little patches through the leaves, and it wasn’t long before its warmth lulled Megan to sleep.

“Have you seen Lady Megan?”

It was the question on Louisa’s lips and then on everyone else’s as Megan’s absence became apparent. Bracken’s face, that of a warrior with a mission, was void of emotional expression, but those who knew him well could detect the concern, the ache to know where she was.

When it became evident that she was not within the castle walls, some of Bracken’s knights rode out on horseback, but the rest of the castle folk, including Bracken and his brothers, set off on foot. Megan heard their cries before she regained full consciousness, and when she did waken, she listened in horror to the call of her name.

With a head still muddled with sleep, Megan came to her feet and nearly stumbled out from beneath the trees. She was rushing along the edge of the forest when Bracken, Stephen, and Kendrick suddenly appeared. The towering rage on Bracken’s face stopped her in her tracks. She watched as he spoke to Kendrick and then as he and Stephen covered the distance between them.

“Why are you out here?” Bracken’s voice was curt.

“I wanted to be alone.”

“So you left the safekeeping of the walls?” Bracken’s voice betrayed his astonishment, telling Megan that he would never understand.

“Yes. I felt a need for solitude. I never meant to fall asleep.”

“You foolish woman!”
The words were spat at her. “I have the entire keep looking for you, thinking you abducted or harmed, and here you sleep! Indeed, you are a fool!”

Bracken seemed to be out of words then, or too angry to say more. He turned on his booted heel and swung away from Megan and his brother. He was ten steps away when Stephen spoke softly.

“You disappoint me, Megan.”

She turned hurting eyes to him, wondering from how many she would know rebuke.

“I’d never have guessed you for a woman who would stand mute while someone called you a fool.”

Megan stared at him and then at Bracken, who was swiftly moving away. Her brow lowered menacingly before she raised her voice to be heard.

“I am
not
a fool.”

Bracken stopped, turned, and stared back at her.

“Were you speaking to me?” he asked as if she had no right.

“Yes. You will not speak to me in such a fashion.”

Bracken began to walk back to her so abruptly that Megan started. As he neared, she was reminded of his ire and began to back away. Bracken came right ahead, backing her into a tree and speaking in an angry growl after she bumped her head on the bark.

“What did you say to me?” Megan swallowed.

“I’m not a fool.” The words were whispered this time as green eyes, wide with fear and pleading, stared up at him.

Seeing that fear, Bracken’s heart softened within him. When Megan
had disappeared, he had been more frightened than ever in his life. He had handled her and the situation poorly, but flowery words were not in him. When he spoke, his voice was slightly less harsh but it was far from congenial.

“It is as you say, you are not a fool. I would ask, however, that in the future you do not leave the keep without informing someone. It is most troublesome to lay out a search.”

Megan didn’t sense her own trembling until she was alone once again. She stood against the tree for several moments, fighting down the despair she felt rising within. Would she ever find her place here? Would she ever do that which was expected?

Megan left the tree without any answers and was surprised to find Stephen awaiting her. He did not comment on the scene he had witnessed, but offered to escort her back.

“Thank you,” Megan told him softly and began to walk slowly, thoughtfully toward Hawkings Crest. After several yards, she commented.

“I fear I am nothing but an annoyance to Bracken.” Megan didn’t normally confide in strangers, but although Stephen looked like Bracken, he was a good deal kinder in Megan’s eyes, and she felt desperate for someone to talk with.

“That isn’t true,” Stephen told her. He’d seen with his own eyes what was happening to his brother’s heart.

“I fear that it is. I am a stranger here, and I am troubled that it will always be so.”

“You have not given yourself sufficient time, Megan,” he spoke familiarly to her, truly seeking to help. “Bracken was stern just now, but he does care. He would not have reacted so, had he not been fearful of your harm.”

Megan had not looked at it in such a way. His words made her pause and think. The one time her father had spanked her sprang to mind. She had deserved his hand of punishment far more often, but not until she nearly frightened him to death did he strike her.

“Have I lost you?” Stephen’s voice was kind.

“I was thinking of what you said and remembering a time when my father punished me severely. I deserved the punishment, but then I often did. This particular time, however, he did so out of fear.”

“Were you very bad?” Stephen found himself captivated.

“I was,” Megan admitted. “I bribed his young vassal into letting me dress in his clothing during a tournament. I found myself on the jousting field. I was quite nearly killed by a runaway horse.” Megan glanced at her companion then and wanted to laugh at his look of horror.

“It’s quite true.”

“You say your father beat you?”

Megan nodded. “I couldn’t sit down for several days.”

“What would possess you to do such a thing?” Stephen was still trying to take it in.

“The usual,” Megan said softly. “I was trying to gain my mother’s attention.”

Neither one felt like talking as they passed through the castle gates. Stephen was still amazed at this new insight, and Megan was completely wrapped up with dread over having to face Bracken at the tables that night.

Eleven

T
HE EVENING MEAL WAS NOT AS BAD
as Megan had anticipated. Brice and Bracken were very quiet, but Stephen was charming, and Megan, feeling as if someone had rescued her, allowed herself to be coaxed into talking.

“So you lived most of your years at the abbey?” he wanted to know.

“Yes. In truth, the abbey feels more like home than Stone Lake.”

“What did you do all day?” This came from Aunt Louisa.

“Well,” Megan admitted, “when I first arrived I spent all my time running away or planning to run away, but as I began to grow more settled, I was given responsibilities.”

“Doing what?” Stephen asked.

“The abbey is run very much like a keep,” Megan explained, “only the nuns give everything away. The abbey has a creamery and small byre. The nuns weave, sew, bake, and cook, but nearly all goods are given to charity. I am proficient in all of these things because I worked right along with them. Then when I turned 15 I was allowed to go into the village several times a week to teach some of the children.”