The Kryptonite Kid: A Novel (22 page)

But I didn’t cry this time, Superman. Not until I got up in my room all by myself where nobody could see me. And I got snot allover the sheets and everything but I didn’t care because I don’t care about NOTHING. Especially him or Sister Mary Justin or ANYBODY. Except Robert. And so I decided I AM gonna kill him, Superman. I AM! And maybe I’ll kill Sister Mary Justin too. And maybe I’ll kill Veronica nextdoor and Jimmy Sinceri and Duane Machado. Maybe I’ll get up in the middle of the night and grab a knife and stick it in them all. Right in their hearts!

I LOVE YOU, SUPERMAN.

Jerry

Dear SUPERPAL,

This morning Sister Mary Justin told everybody in class how she gave my poem to Pastor Ponti and he read it and he didn’t like it very much either. In fact he HATED it. But he told Sister Mary Justin how I HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT FOR A WHILE. And Sister Mary Justin said HOW LONG? And Pastor Ponti said I MUST PRAY FOR GUIDANCE and Sister Mary Justin said WHY? and Pastor Ponti said SO I CAN MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION and 
Sister Mary Justin said how she hopes he decides the right conclusion REAL soon. And then she walked right over to my desk. And then she pulled me out of my seat and she said LOOK AT HIM!

And everybody was already looking at me.

And then she said, HE BETTER PRAY HE DON’T DIE BEFORE HE MAKES HIS FIRST HOLY COMMUNION NEXT YEAR! And she talked real loud but she talked real slow and every time she said another word she pulled my hair harder.

HE. BETTER. PRAY. THAT. GOD. DON’T. STRIKE. HIM.
DEAD!

And when she said DEAD! she hit me right on top of my head REAL hard and Jimmy Sinceri laughed. And so did Janie Jobb and Duane Machado and Albert Ambrozzi and Rita Charnovich. And pretty soon the only ones who didn’t laugh was me and Robert Sipanno. And when we went to the lavatory later on, Jimmy Sinceri hit me on top of the head just like Sister Mary Justin did. And so did Michael Roinski and a lot of the other guys. And pretty soon even some of the girls started doing it. And so you know what I’m gonna do, Superman? I’m gonna fly in that church and pee on them ALL. On EVERY one of them except Robert. Because I REALLY hate them now, Superman. I really, REALLY hate them!

Your Friend, 

THE KID

Dear MAN OF STEEL,

You know what Pastor Ponti said? He said it’s up to 
Sister Mary Justin to decide if I don’t get my First Holy Communion or not. Because she’s my teacher and so she should know. So it looks like I got a new suit for nothing and BOY is my mom upset about it. She’s been crying all afternoon. And every time the phone rings she makes Buster say she isn’t home. Because she couldn’t bear to talk with anyone. She’s so ashamed. She’ll never live it down. How could I
do
this to her, Superman?

She wept for hours. She sat on the corner of the couch and cried gently, drying her tears with a lace handkerchief For hours. I wept with her because I couldn't help it. I had never seen her cry like that before—with such sadness. It didn't matter that she was worried about herself more than me. What mattered was that she was worried about herself because of me. Because of ME. I felt so bad. So guilty. I didn't have a chance. Her tears attacked me violently, like Kryptonite, making me helpless, killing me.

You see, I had always cried BECAUSE of her. Never WITH her. Never in the same room with her. There was a communion, so to speak.

Then Veronica came over and my mom couldn’t get away and neither could I. So Veronica kept looking at me like I was a piece of dirt or something. And she kept telling my mom how TERRIBLE it was that I could do such a thing. And how she felt so sorry for my mom because EVERYBODY was talking about it. Which my mom already knew. Which Veronica knew my mom already knew. Which is the way Veronica is. She told my mom that she would probably kill herself if one of her kids ever did that. And she kept sticking it in my mom deeper and deeper, 
again and again, like I was gonna do to my dad. But I’m not anymore. Because if I killed my dad then Veronica would have something more to kill my mom with. And I couldn’t stand any more pain, Superman. Especially my mom’s pain. I just couldn’t.

Your Friend, 

JERRY CHARIOT

Dear SUPERMAN,

Robert came by a few minutes ago and asked if I could go out. And my mom said I wasn’t allowed. So he said he could come in, but she said he couldn’t. So he said he just wanted to help me do our homework. But she said he better GET OUT OF HERE, ROBERT, BEFORE I CALL YOUR MOTHER!

And he said JUST FOR A HALF A HOUR?

And she said NOT EVEN FOR A MINUTE—NOT UNTIL THAT SON OF MINE LEARNS HIS LESSON!

So Robert said BUT HE CAN’T LEARN HIS LESSON UNLESS I HELP HIM but my mom just slammed the door in Robert’s face and so he left.

That’s why I’m writing this letter, Superman. Because I don’t have nothing else to do. Because I’m not allowed to go out and I’m not allowed to watch TV and I’m not allowed to do nothing except my homework which I can’t do without Robert anyway. And I’m not gonna get my First Holy Communion until NEXT year which means I’ll be seeing a LOT more of Sister Mary Justin who hates me. And I don’t 
get no allowence and I can’t buy no comicbooks and I ain’t got nothing left, Superman. Except you.

So I hope you’ll write back for a change.

Just,

JERRY

DEAR ROBERT,

I decided I would write you a letter since I’m not allowed to talk to you and tell you how I was REAL glad you stopped by today even though it didn’t work. Thanks for trying. I even wrote a letter to Superman and told him all about it so he would know. I hope you don’t mind. And I was wondering if I could borrow your homework after you’re done with it? You could just sneak it in my desk like I’m gonna sneak this letter in yours. And then I’ll sneak it back as soon as I’m done with it. Thank you very much. Goodby.

Your friend JERRY

PS: Don’t forget to let me know if you got any new comicbooks.

Dear Mr. Editor,

I just wrote a letter to Superman and then I wrote a letter to my bestfriend Robert. But I still have lots of time before I have to go to sleep so I decided I would write another letter and tell you what I think. I think you should 
let Supergirl have her own comicbook like Superman does. And like Superboy does. And like Superman’s Girl Friend Lois Lane and Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen does. You could call it SUPERMAN’S COUSIN SUPERGIRL. Wouldn’t that be good? I think Supergirl’s as good as they are and she’s a LOT better than Lois Lane that’s for sure. And then I’d buy it ALL the time except when I’m broke. And I also hope you’ll print this letter in your comicbook so everybody can read it in METROPOLIS MAILBAG. Which is where everybody can write and tell you what they think of your comicbooks. And I think they’re very very good.
  

Thank you very very much.

Sincerly,

Mr. Jerry Chariot

Dear SUPERMAN,

You know what I have to do when everybody else gets to go over to the church and practice their First Holy Communion? I have to go down and sit in the kinder garden where Sister Scholastica gets to watch me all the time. And she’s almost as bad as Sister Mary Justin because she makes me sit in the first seat in front of her desk which looks real DUMB because I’m a lot bigger than all those little kinders. Except for one of them named Georgie Gallucci who’s real FAT and so nobody likes him anyway. Especially me. Because he saw me writing a letter to Robert Sipanno and he told Sister Scholastica when I was supposed to be doing my Arithmatic. So I really HATE him because she got real mad and made me kneel on my knees in front of the HOLE classroom with a Bible on my 
head. And she said it better NEVER fall off if I know what’s good for me. And then she turned around and started writing on the blackboard and that’s when Alfred Sinceri who is Jimmy’s little brother threw a paperclip at me. And then Larry Thompson threw a rubberband. And then Georgie Gallucci stuck out his tongue and kept making faces. And then the bell rang Thank God and so I got to go back to Sister Mary Justin’s classroom and finish that letter I started to Robert before I got caught. So goodby.