The Lady and the Earl (Seabrook Family Saga) (3 page)

“Was your first Season that terrible? I know it can be a stressful time
for young debutantes, but I always thought ladies rather liked all the
socializing, the dancing, and the fuss. And of course, let us not lose sight of
the true meaning behind a Season—snare a husband. And not just any husband. It
seems all debutantes want a rich and titled one.”

The sound of her laughter lightened the burden in his heart. And when she
reached out and wrapped her arm through his, he almost fell to his knees. With
the contact all trace of laughter disappeared, and somehow he knew her mind had
turned to serious thoughts.
How did he know?
Mayhap it was the way she
gripped his arm, or the way she opened her mouth to speak, then closed it
without uttering a word. With her free hand she hugged her boots and stockings
to her chest as she had yet to put them on. Crazy as it seemed, despite their
short acquaintance, he believed he did know her. Somehow she had reached inside
his mind and heart and made herself known. He should have been terrified.
Instead, serenity descended around him with that recognition.

“I need to put on my boots. May we please stop here?” Amelia asked.

Amelia sat down on the green grass and began putting on her stockings.
William tried to avert his eyes, but the show of her well-turned ankles
mesmerized him. How long had it been since he had seen a woman’s ankle? His
housekeeper standing atop a chair dusting did not count.

After rising and shaking out her buttercup-yellow skirts so they fell
into place, she took his arm again. “That’s much better. The grass tickled my
toes. Now back to my first Season. At first I did have a lovely time. And I did
meet someone, a special someone. We fell in love. He proposed and I joyfully
accepted. A month later he died.” Amelia looked toward the English Channel, off
in the distance, and stumbled.

Instinct had William wrapping his arm around Amelia’s waist to steady
her. “I’m terribly sorry. How awful for you and your young gentleman. I too
know what it’s like to lose someone you love. My brother and his wife died. I
loved them both deeply. Time helps heal broken hearts, but we never forget… and
we’re never quite the same.” This explained why she was crying by the stream
the first day he set eyes on her. Also, why he glimpsed sadness in her eyes
each and every time he had the pleasure of her company. Poor Amelia, William
knew all too well the pain and heartache associated with losing someone you had
given your heart to.

“No. I don’t suppose we ever forget. Or go back to the carefree person
we used to be,” Amelia said.

The sadness in her voice caused his stomach to clench. “You are
what—and excuse my forwardness—maybe ten-and-eight, if that? When did this all
happen?”

During the silence, as William waited for Amelia to answer, he became
aware of birds chirping and bees humming as they passed a colorful wildflower
patch. Did he even remember the last time he had noticed nature’s creatures
singing their song? Meeting Amelia had had a profound and miraculous effect on
him. If only he could keep her forever. And then her voice whispered into the
air.

“I turned twenty this past January. Daniel died the summer I was
ten-and-eight.” The sound of her voice cracking moved him deeply. Here was a
young woman who gave her heart away at such a tender young age only to have it
ripped from her chest. William prayed for her sake that she would find love
again someday. Because he, of all people, knew how having no one to love ate
away at one’s insides.

“He survived Waterloo and many other battles with Napoleon,” she
admitted, “only to be killed in a hunting accident.”

Ahh,
he reflected, a memory dawning on him. Even though he had
no social life related to the
ton
anymore, he did receive the daily
newspapers from London. And he remembered reading about the tragic death of a
retired decorated captain from His Majesty’s Army.

Once again she lost her footing. This time he paused mid-step. Without
giving it another thought he wrapped one arm around her waist while the other
cupped the back of her head gently. Without pause, she rested her cheek against
his heart. A heart he’d believed was long dead until recently. “There, there,
go ahead and cry, I don’t mind.”

“I’m…I’m…sorry.” Amelia’s chest rose and fell rapidly against his as
she tried to catch her breath. “I’m not usually such a watering pot.”

“I don’t mind. What are friends for?”

A voice from behind them startled William, causing him as well as
Amelia to jump as they turned to see the speaker.

“Get your hands off my sister!”

A tall gentleman with light hair and murder in his blue eyes stomped
toward them. He wrenched Amelia from William’s arms and hugged her close.

“How dare you take liberties with my sister?” The man who must be
Amelia’s brother stepped back from her and held her at arm’s length. His eyes
roamed up and down her body until they settled on her face.

At least he did not seem angry at his sister. William glimpsed concern
in his eyes, until the man, once again, looked daggers at him.

“Calm yourself,” William said as he raised one palm. “I would never
take liberties with Lady Amelia. She began crying, that is all, and I did what
any kindhearted friend would do. I offered her comfort, nothing more, and nothing
less.”

“Amelia,” her brother asked in a low voice but loud enough for William
to hear, “are you all right? Why have you been crying?”

“Sebastian, do not be angry with Lord Bridgeton. I was upset about
Daniel, and he was kind enough not to make a fuss.” Her fingers swiped at a
lock of hair that had escaped from its pin. “Sebastian, have you met Lord
Bridgeton?”

“No,” Sebastian retorted, “and I don’t care to. Come, Amelia, I’m
taking you home.”

It hurt William to hear the hatred in Sebastian’s voice and to witness it
in his eyes. This man believed the rumors about him. But then who didn’t? He
had never defended himself against the accusations of murder because he grieved
and ached for the passing of both his brother and sister-in-law, and he was
worldly enough that he knew people believed what they wanted to believe. He was
never officially charged with any wrongdoing, but neither had he gone out of
his way to prove his innocence. William could not let the truth be known, so he
had retired to Dover and lived akin to a reclusive monk. Now, thanks to a young
lady, he felt alive again, and he wanted more.

William had a pulse and a heartbeat again.

He heard nature and saw in color again.

All thanks to this lovely, kind, and caring young woman, Amelia.

William followed Amelia and her angry brother, close enough to protect
her if her brother became violent or cruel. To protect her if she needed him,
but far enough away that he could not hear anything the two said. He would
never eavesdrop on a private conversation. After several minutes, it became
apparent to William that Amelia had nothing to fear from her brother. He turned
around and headed back to the quiet, suffocating walls of his estate.

Strange how his
estate had been his sanctuary the past twelve years and yet now he dreaded
being alone there.

CHAPTER FOUR

“Sebastian, please slow down. I’m out of breath.” Amelia’s face burned
from embarrassment at having her brother finding her in William’s arm. And with
the way her brother had treated a man who was only trying to calm her with his
strong and comforting arms. She wished they still held her now. Oh, dear God,
had she become a terrible person with loose morals as her brother’s anger
suggested?

Her brother came to a halt, looked her in the eyes, and demanded, “What
were you doing with him?”

“Sebastian, it’s not what you think—”

“You do not know what I’m thinking,” he interrupted in a tone that was
not so much comforting as it was a growl.

“No. You’re right. I don’t. How wrong of me to presume to know your mind.
But please…” She placed her hand on his arm. “Listen to me. Truthfully, we met
by accident down by the stream, and he offered to walk me home. I don’t know
how it happened, but I told him about Daniel and then I cried. Generally I
don’t talk about it and I’m not such a watering pot.” Closing her eyes, she
tried to come up with proper words to explain. “I don’t believe he thought
anything about what he did. He just tried to comfort me. That’s all. You’re not
suggesting that you thought––”

“What do you think crossed my mind when I came upon the two of you
embracing as lovers?”

Amelia gasped, but Sebastian ignored her.

“You have to admit you have made mistakes in the past,” Sebastian
continued.

“Sebastian!” she gasped.

He should have just slapped her. The pain would be less than the
burning ache inside her chest at having heard his words spoken aloud. Did her
family truly believe that she made a mistake and would continue to make others?
She knew in her heart that making love with Daniel had not been wrong; they
were young and had been betrothed.

“The truth comes out at last,” Amelia sighed, her tone sarcastic. “I am
guilty of one wrongdoing. I reached out to love once, and I’m forever paying
for that. You think because I made love to Daniel once that I’m loose with my
favors? You think I am a lightskirt?” She jabbed her index finger into her
brother’s chest. “How dare you? I’ve barely existed since Daniel’s death. And
just because I succumbed to temptation once does not mean it will happen again.
If Daniel had not died, who would have known?”

Heartbroken, she turned to run off, but her brother grabbed her elbow,
preventing her escape.

“Amelia, please forgive me. I don’t know why I said what I did. I’ve
never thought those things about you. No one in our family thinks you are
anything but a proper lady with good morals. We all know you loved Daniel and
that many couples consummate the marriage during the betrothal.”

Sebastian ran his hands through his wavy hair. “Amelia, please accept
my apologies for my rude behavior toward you and Lord Bridgeton. When I saw you
with him, all I could think about was what I’d heard about him committing
murder.” He held up his hand when he saw her start to speak. “You are right.
Since when do I listen to gossip? Still, is it wise to be alone with him? I saw
the way he looked at you, or more precisely, how he looked when he held you in
his arms.”

“Oh, Sebastian, he’s just a friend, an extremely lonely friend.” While
she called William a friend, a part of her wished and knew he was more.

“My point exactly,” Sebastian remarked.

“What does it matter? We leave for London soon, and if Mother has her
way, I’ll become betrothed once again. There is one problem with her plans. I
will never leave Olivia. What gentleman will marry a woman with a bastard
child?” Amelia placed her hand over her heart. “I will not marry anyone without
telling him the truth. A husband deserves no less. Olivia and I deserve no
less. And if he cannot take the truth and live with the consequences then he is
not worthy of my love. Nor I of his. Do you even think there is such a man out
there?”

Her brother’s eyes said it all.

“No. I didn’t think so either,” Amelia said with a saddened heart.

“Amelia,” Sebastian pleaded, “you do not understand.”

She held her chin high, pulled her shoulders back. “I understand
perfectly. So why is Mother insisting on me having another Season when nothing
can come of it?”

“I’m sorry, Amelia,” Sebastian said. “I might have written Mother and
told her you’re sad. Perhaps she thinks having another Season will help. The
only time you seem truly happy is when you’re with Olivia.”

“Should a mother not be happy with her child?”

“Yes, of course, but we want you happy—always.”

Rising on tiptoes, Amelia gave her brother a quick kiss on the cheek. “I
love you, too. And you know I’d be perfectly content to live here to the end of
my days. But I’ll go to London and pretend to enjoy myself to please Mother.
And when the Season ends I will come back here and live quietly and be a good
mother to Olivia. Dear God, some days I feel twice my age.”

Sebastian took her hand and tugged her along the path to their home. “I
understand. I feel the same way at times.” He shot her a secretive look. “Race
you home,” he challenged and took off running full speed.

***

The day before Amelia was to head for London, she hoped to see Lord
Bridgeton once more. As she sat down on the banks of the stream, watching the
clouds travel by in the brisk breeze, his face appeared in her mind. A stab of
guilt pierced her soul as she thought about her captain and realized she had
placed her grief in a far corner of her heart, leaving it open to another.
“Please forgive me, Daniel.”

The snapping of twigs had Amelia sitting up straight and glancing in
the direction of the sounds. A wide smile broke out on her face and her pulse
raced as she glimpsed William crossing the stream on foot, not giving a care
for the water level. She giggled. He’d walked right into the stream, boots and
all, and plopped down beside her on the stream bank. His legs bent up and his
elbows rested on his knees.

“I hoped I would see you before you left.”

Oh, dear God. Amelia knew if she were discovered here, she would be in
so
much trouble. Yet she had been curious to learn what she truly felt when
she was with this man. There was something between them that thrilled her, drew
her to him. But what? Perhaps she was a wanton and needed to be confined to a
convent. Regardless, she had to admit William’s voice did things to her body
Daniel’s voice had never done––never mind the heat she felt radiating from his
body. The sooner she left for London the better as she did not trust herself to
be alone with William any longer. Before she left, however, she wanted to kiss
him, but she feared she would shock him with her forwardness.

Distance would be essential afterwards. It would be a good thing.

“I almost didn’t come here today, though once I decided to, I hoped to
see you,” she replied softly.

His warm hand reached out and stroked her cheek, causing her whole body
to shiver. “Why did you hesitate, Amelia?”

“I don’t know.” Amelia could not tell him the truth. That from
experience she knew she wanted him as a woman wanted a man––as women had wanted
men since the beginning of time.

“Did your brother warn you to stay away from here…from me?” he asked
cautiously.

“No. I mean yes,” she murmured, trying not to lean into his hand that
still stroked her face. The leaning happened anyway; she closed her eyes and
let the warmth of his hand on her cheek soothe her wounded soul.

“Amelia, perhaps I should go.”

Her eyes flew open, and she grabbed his hand, pulling it back to her
face. “No. Don’t go. I want to spend some time with you before I go to London,
and I don’t want to be alone.”

“My dear, sweet, innocent girl, you don’t understand.” William’s eyes,
laced with sadness and smoldering heat, stared into hers. “I want you. It’s
terribly frustrating to want someone you can never have.”

“Why can’t you have me? Why do you say never?”

***

Dear God, did Amelia know what she had said? Did she know what she did
to him with her innocent question? William smiled to ease the situation. She
looked almost ready to cry. “Because I will never seduce an innocent, no matter
how much I want her.”

“What if I told you I’m not so inno––”

“Shhh.”
His index finger touched her soft, full lips, and he
ignored the throbbing erection swelling painfully against his breeches. “Can’t
we just sit here and talk?”

Amelia’s disappointment was evident in her eyes, and he swallowed hard.

“Tell me about you brother,” she requested.

Nothing like talking about his dead brother to curb his lust. At least
his erection didn’t hurt him anymore. “Geoffrey was two years older than me. We
were best friends growing up. He’d been a kind, intelligent man but a dreamer,
always a dreamer. I met Katherine, the daughter of a baron, first, though she
became his wife.” He smiled at the memory of meeting her for the first time and
falling in love right then and there. He shrugged. “I planned on asking her to
marry me when Geoffrey and Katherine announced their betrothal. Even though my
heart broke, I was happy for them.”

Amelia placed her hand on his cheek. The warmth and compassion in her
eyes moved him. “I’m sorry. Your story sounds similar to my brothers Wentworth
and Sebastian and Emma. Emma is Wentworth’s wife. Sebastian thought he loved
her, too.”

“Ahh, Lord Sebastian and I have something in common.”

He saw her eyes drop to his lips. She could not mean to … then her lips
brushed his. Bloody hell, his resolve cracked. Before William’s conscience
could stop him, he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her on top of his
body as he lay down on the soft grass. William felt Amelia’s body tense,
probably because he had shocked her with his amorous actions. Seconds later her
body relaxed down on top of his.

Dear God, what had he ever done to deserve Amelia’s attentions? He
kissed her, his tongue licking its way into her moist, hot mouth. Their tongues
tangled as lovers. Amelia purred until he rolled them over, pinning her beneath
him. He proceeded to kiss his way down her neck and trailed his tongue across
the swell of her breasts. Amelia surprised him by grinding her hips against his
erection.

William knew he should stop, but he had lost all reason. He pulled her
dress and chemise down over her shoulders, exposing her breasts to the open
air. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of them. Perfect round orbs
with pink nipples, nipples that pebbled, begging for his mouth.

“My God, Amelia, you’re beautiful,” William murmured as he suckled one
nipple. One of his hands skimmed up inside her skirts. His hand found the
juncture of her thighs, stroking her moist curls through the slit of her
pantaloons.

“William,” Amelia gasped, “you must stop.”

Somehow her voice penetrated his mind, causing his body to tense in
shock at what he’d done. She was twenty, bloody hell, and he was eight-and-thirty.
He rolled off her and mumbled, “I’m sorry. Forgive me for losing myself.”

Amelia quickly jumped to her feet. The whole time she stood there
righting her dress, she kept her eyes downcast. “It was my fault; I should not
have––”

“What did you say?” William tilted her chin up, forcing her to look
into his eyes. His heart stopped mid-beat. In her eyes he saw shame, and he
fought down his anger at himself for causing her to feel that way. “This was
not your fault but entirely mine. I am older and more experienced. I took
advantage of you.”

He pulled Amelia into his arms, breathing in the lavender scent of her
hair and burning the memory into his mind. “Please forgive me.”

If only life was kind and good people were guaranteed happiness. But he
knew that wasn’t the case. Any woman with him would be touched by scandal, by
his unresolved past.

“I wish you happiness in your life.” He kissed her temple and
reluctantly turned and walked away without looking back. Amelia was too good
for him, could never be his. He needed to remember that.

***

For two days William paced around his study. Thinking about
Amelia…thinking about his future, something he seldom did anymore. Up until
this point in his life, he hadn’t believed he had a future beyond the walls of
his estate and the circle of people he knew and worked with. Meeting Amelia had
changed all that.

But she was headed to London, for a Season of dancing and meeting
potential partners for life. Men that could offer her a wonderful life, a life
he could not possibly offer her––or could he? Even if there was a chance for
happiness, for a happy ending, did he have the courage to travel to London and
fight for her?

Would he be able to turn a deaf ear to the rumors that would follow him
wherever he went?

Could he subject Amelia to those rumors?

William could watch her from afar once again. Unfortunately, deep down
inside, he knew that would never do. He craved her friendship. Needed her
friendship. And more.