The Last Crusade (6 page)

“Holy one, there is a major problem with our forces encamped around Egypt, Sir we’ve been attacked!”

“Has the Great Satan struck us?”

“Sir, it wasn’t the Great Satan, it was the Egyptians, they used weapons we didn’t know they had. They used a new type of artillery shell which struck the top of our tanks. Each shell struck a tank, they cut through the armor as if it wasn’t there. Sir, we’ve lost thousands of tanks. They followed up the shelling with a missile attack which killed over one hundred thousand troops.”

Ali Muhammad Tanvir jumped to his feet, knocking the low breakfast table over, spilling their tea and breakfast on the floor,

“What do you mean we lost over one hundred thousand troops? That’s almost our entire force! What of our invasion fleet off their coast?”

“Holy one, they used submarines to surprise attack us, every ship has been sunk.”

“They destroyed all of our forces in one coordinated attack?”

“Yes, holy one, that’s correct.”

Ali Muhammad Tanvir pulls his sword out, beheading the messenger. Tanvir wipes his sword on the table cloth, he turns towards his Ministers,
h
i
s
face turned dark red, with eyes bulging saying,

“There’s no way the Egyptians did this alone. Someone helped them! Find out who helped them, I want to know within the hour! Call the Military leaders, we quickly need to review our plans. I want to know the details of how they did this. It had to have been the Great Satan or the Little Satan, no one else has the technology to have pulled off such an attack.”

“Your holiness, what about the Minor Satan?”

“Egypt and Russia haven’t been friends for a while, no, I don’t believe so. I think it’s time we turn up the heat on the whore in the White House. It’s time to make her dance.”

His staff smile knowing he’s going to turn up the heat on the American President until she feels like she’s being burned alive which is what they all want to do to her.

Chapter 4

Ms. Clayton wakes with a massive headache and in a horrible mood, the Secret Service agent stationed outside the private living quarters greets her,

“Good morning Madam President.”

“Shut the fuck up. No one told you, you could talk to me. I have to accept you in my house, that doesn’t mean I have to allow you to talk to me. Never, never talk to me unless I ask you a direct question. Do you understand me?”

The agent nods his head.

“I asked you a direct question, do you want to be guarding an iceberg in the north pole tonight?”

“No, Madam President. I heard you. I’ll follow your instructions.”

“There aren’t instructions, these are direct orders! Now shut up and get out of my way.”

Ms. Clayton storms into the Oval Office, her two assistants are waiting for her, Huma hands her a mug of coffee. “Madam President, here are the evenings reports.”

“Is there anything I need to read right now?”

“Ma’am there is the situation in Egypt…”

“Speaking of which, whoever called me last night is to be fired, if they can’t be fired, transfer them someplace horrible. They woke me, I won’t accept being woken for bullshit.”

“Yes, ma’am. I’ll take care of it right away.”

“Let me know what you did with him, I want to enjoy his suffering. Send him a note, reminding him this is payback for waking me. Next time you leave; remind me I shouldn’t mix sleeping pills with liquor.”

“Of course, Ma’am. By the way, it’s not a good idea to send a note. He could show the note to the press which would make you look heartless.”

“Okay, send him an email, then erase the email.”

“Will do.”

“Is there anything else I should know?”

“The caller from yesterday send this DVD to you. It came with instructions suggesting you should watch it in private. The Prime Minister of the Caliphate wants to talk to you as does the British and Israeli Prime Ministers.”

“Where is my husband?”

“Ma’am, he said he’ll be around later today.”

“Send the damn Secret Service to drag his ass here. He’s already causing more problems than he’s worth. I only stayed with him to get here, now that I’m here, I don’t need him. I might as well watch the DVD before I do anything else. Get me something for my headache. Maybe I can use this DVD against the bastard.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Slamming the Oval Office door, sitting behind her desk, she pulls out her laptop, slipping the DVD into the slot, she’s watching her husband with the two escorts, it’s clear he’s drunk or high, maybe both. She laughs when the two escorts laugh at his small size and his inability to get hard.
How do you think I’ve felt for all these years? He really is useless in bed. He likes to exert his power to make up for his two inches. He always did like to play rough with his little toys. I know he usually bites them, leaving a mark, like a dog pees to mark its spot. He tried to bite me once, I told him, I’d bite his dick off if he ever tried to bite me again. He’s such an ass if this video gets out it’s going to harm us. I wonder what they want to forget about it. I’d like to know who has it so I can make them disappear.

Her phone rings, snapping her back to the here and now.

“WHAT? Didn’t I say I didn’t want to be disturbed until I finished watching the DVD?”

“Madam President, the person who sent you the DVD is on the phone.”

“Oh, that’s different. Put him on.”

“Hello Madam President, are you enjoying watching the video?”

“Let’s cut to the chase, what do you want to kill it?”

“Madam, you do me an injustice, you’re implying I’m for sale.”

“Everyone has a price, what’s yours?”

“Screwing with you and your family. My price is the destruction of you and your entire family. I have no monetary price; I called to let you know that as you were watching the video, I believe the senior staff at every news organization is enjoying it too. I also plan to post segments on the Internet. The National Enquirer offered me $20 million for certain screen shots, can you imagine how that’s going to look sitting next to the cash registers in every supermarket? I believe they’re going to run the headline, “no big thing.” Want to bet if that’s going to be the headline of the year? What do you think is going to happen when the transcript of what Bill is saying about you is heard and read? I smell impeachment. You’re going to set a new record for the shortest term of office.”

“I’ll give you fifty million.”

“Oh, no. I don’t want your money, I want to embarrass you. I want to ruin you and your family name. Chelsea won’t be able to show her face at McDonalds. By the way, I’m having a DNA test run on Bills sperm, I don’t believe Chelsea is his daughter; we’re going to find out and publish the results of the DNA test next week. Then I’m going to leak your relationship with Huma, I bet those in the Bible belt are going to be so happy they voted for you.”

“If you do that, I’ll find you and have you killed!”

“Thank you, I’ve been waiting for you to say that. I’ve been recording our conversation; I wonder how much I can sell it for? I’m thinking one hundred million, don’t you agree?”

“I will track you down, your days are numbered.”

“So are yours. I wouldn’t get too conformable in the White House; I have a feeling you won’t be there very long.”

Click.

Huma rushes into the Oval Office,

“Madam President, the news organizations are going crazy over a video about Bill. He supposedly says some nasty things about you and us. They’re all calling asking for your comment.”

“The full video is on my laptop, watch it then we’ll discuss it.”

Thirty minutes later, Huma stands up saying,

“Holy shit!”

“Tell me about it. The asshole outdid himself this time. I think I’m going to have to drop him and move on. Call my lawyer to prepare the papers.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

While Huma calls Hillary’s lawyer from a side phone in the Oval office the intercom rings, Huma picks up the handset, listening, the color drains from her face,

“Madam President, you need to take this, it’s the Caliphate Prime Minister.”

“Mr. Prime Minister, Salam wa aleikum.”

“Ms. Whore, may your soul burn in hell forever.”

“In that case, what do you want?”

“Why did you supply advanced weapons to Egypt?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Didn’t you get the three am call about the Egyptian attack?”

“Yes, however, it didn’t concern us so I didn’t take the call.”

“You should have, the Egyptians caused us billions of dollars in losses, they used weapons we didn’t know they possessed. Did you sell or give them the advanced weapons to use against us?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I will take that as you’re too stupid to know. I can’t wait until the flag of Allah flies over the White House and you serve my troops on your knees. The proper place for you is on your knees before the holy warriors.”

“Don’t talk to me that way.”

“I’ll talk to you any way I want. Since I believe you sold the Egyptians the advanced weapons, we’ll see how your economy functions without oil. In a few minutes, I’m going to announce a full oil embargo against the West. Ms. President, since you’re a demon, and agent of Satan, I know you will enjoy hell.”

Click

“Damn him! HUMA!”

Huma sticks her head in the Oval Office,

“Madam President?”

“The Caliphate is going to embargo oil.”

“Like they did in the ancient history of the 70s?”

“Yes, or worse. You better alert the broadcasters, I’ll need to address the nation.”

“Yes, ma’am, when do you want to address the nation.”

“In one hour. Get my hairdresser and make-up artist in here right now. Damn, increase my headache meds, it’s not going away.”

An hour later Ms. Clayton sits behind her desk in the Oval Office with twenty cameras arranged around the front of her. She looks at the light in front of the main camera when it turns red, she looks into the camera, places a phony smile on her face, saying,

“Good morning my fellow Americans, I’m sorry to have to interrupt you this morning with very bad news. I’ve recently received a call from the Caliphate’s Prime Minister, who has informed me the Caliphate is going to embargo all oil exports to non-Muslim nations. I’m sure the embargo will be for a very short time until the loss of revenue begins to hurt their economies, we have our strategic reserve and our current drilling. This embargo is nothing to worry about. I wanted you to hear about it from me and not be worried when you hear about it from the Caliphate, in fact, I think we should use the embargo as the catalyst to kick start our development of new fuels, this is the perfect time to move away from petroleum. We’ve relied on dead dinosaurs for over one hundred fifty years, it’s time for us to move to the next step. I’ll be helping us move away from oil by raising the MPG targets for new cars to 76MPG. I picked 76MPG to celebrate our founding in 1776. Together we can get through this little bump in the road.  Thank you, I hope you all have a wonderful day.”