The Last Days of Rabbit Hayes (21 page)

‘You’re a disgrace, do you hear me, Lennon?’ she shouted.

On the day Molly entered Pauline’s kitchen while Father Lennon was advocating for Gary, he paled at the sight of her.

‘What shite are you spreading?’ she asked him.

‘There’s no need for that.’

‘What’s he saying?’ she asked Pauline.

‘That my vows mean something and my soul is at risk,’ Pauline said.

‘And do you believe him?’

‘Honestly, I don’t care if it is. Since Gary left, my kids are happier, more content, I’m not scared, and I’ve even got myself a part-time job.’

‘Time for you to go,’ Molly said to the priest.

‘Just a second.’ He raised a finger to Molly.

He really shouldn’t have done that. He was a very small, slight man. She looked down on him. ‘You either get the fuck out of this house on your own two feet or you’ll be lifted out, but either way it’s going to happen.’

Pauline giggled, not just because Father Lennon’s face was a picture but because it was something she did when she was nervous.

‘Never darken the inside of my church again, either of you,’ he said as he was leaving.

‘Our pleasure,’ Molly replied, and slammed the door.

After that Molly, Jack and the kids went to the airport church, with Pauline and her kids; they’d all enjoy lunch at the airport afterwards. It was there that Molly first encountered Father Frank. They had their share of disagreements, but he was a good, decent man and when he met someone who needed a little guidance and help, he knew he could always rely on Molly. They had a lot of respect for one another and a friendship of sorts. She’d been thinking about him over recent days. As she walked from Pauline’s house to her own, she made a mental note to phone him as soon as Davey’s meeting was over.

When Father Frank rang her doorbell, it was as if he had read her mind and, even though she hadn’t been to mass in months and the last time they’d spoken they had argued, it was good to see him. Jack and Juliet were in the hospice with Rabbit. He knew about Rabbit: her illness was the reason for his visit. He was hospice chaplain and, although she wasn’t listed for spiritual guidance, he’d seen her name and there was only one Rabbit Hayes.

‘What can I do for you, Molly?’

Molly appreciated him cutting to the chase. ‘You can bless her.’

‘You know she doesn’t want me to.’

‘But I want you to, and please don’t say no to me because I can’t take another no.’

He considered it for a moment. ‘I can wait till she’s asleep.’

Molly winked at him. ‘Great minds think alike.’

‘It’s not ideal, Molly.’

‘But it’s better than nothing and, right now, it’s the only thing keeping me going.’

‘I’ll do my part.’

‘And that’s all I can ask.’

‘Do the others know what you’ve got planned?’

‘They don’t and it’s none of their business.’

‘Be careful, Molly. The last thing you need is in-fighting.’

‘I’ll handle it. Now, you’ll stay for dinner.’

It wasn’t a request and Father Frank knew better than to argue.

Stephen joined his mother in the garden. Until that point she had been enjoying a coffee alone. It was cold, but with a jacket on she was perfectly comfortable. He sat down beside her. She said, ‘I’m sorry you have to take some time away from study to help distract Juliet.’

‘It’s no big deal. I’ll make up for it.’

‘Fingers crossed.’ She was still annoyed that he hadn’t applied himself all year.

‘What do you want us to say to her?’ he asked.

‘Just tell her you want to hang out.’

‘Because that won’t raise questions.’

‘Just tell her . . .’

‘The truth?’

‘Not yet.’

‘Jaysus, Ma, what are ya waiting on?’

‘Rabbit wants one more day.’

Bernard came out with a Manchester United scarf on and matching gloves. He sat down beside them. ‘What are we talking about?’

‘What we should say to Juliet when we take her out later.’

‘Nothing,’ Bernard said.

‘She’ll ask questions,’ Stephen said.

‘No, she won’t.’

‘She’s just going to get in the car and say nothing?’

‘She might ask where we’re going.’

‘Bollocks.’

‘Stephen, mind your language.’

‘Sorry, Ma, but she’s going to ask and I don’t want it to get out on my watch.’

‘She won’t ask because she already knows,’ Bernard told him.

‘No, she doesn’t,’ Stephen said. ‘She thinks she’s going home.’

‘She might not want to know, but she knows,’ Bernard replied.

‘Speaking of . . . Is she coming to live here?’ Stephen asked, as Lenny joined the table with a pot of coffee and some fresh cups.

‘Of course we’re taking her,’ Lenny said, shook the cushion and sat down.

‘I suppose I could share with Bernard until I find a room somewhere and Ryan and Fat Boy could go in together.’

‘Don’t call your brother “Fat Boy”,’ Grace snapped.

‘He’s not fat anyway. He’s obese,’ Bernard said.

‘Not funny, Bernard. Besides, those two rooms are too small to share.’

‘I was only saying.’

‘We could sell Ryan to the tinkers,’ Stephen suggested.

Bernard laughed. ‘Yeah, but they’d send him back after two weeks.’

‘Ha-ha,’ Ryan said, coming out of the kitchen. He pulled over a chair and joined them. ‘Talking about Juliet?’

‘Yeah,’ Lenny said.

‘I saw a caravan on sale online for a hundred and fifty euro – lovely little thing. Park it up outside and I’ll move into it,’ he offered.

‘Finally Ryan would be where he belongs, Juliet could have my room, I move in with Bernard and Fat Boy stays in the box room,’ Stephen said.

‘We’re not shoving your brother into a caravan.’

‘I don’t mind,’ Ryan insisted.

‘Of course you don’t. I can’t even imagine what you’d get up to in there,’ Lenny said.

Ryan grinned to himself. ‘Cool stuff.’

‘Here, Da, did the Unabomber live in a caravan?’ Bernard wondered.

‘I think it was a tent.’

‘Yous can all laugh, but I don’t see anyone else come up with a solution,’ Ryan said, and he was right.

It was going to be really tight, no matter what they did, but Grace was heartened by her boys embracing Juliet. She was proud. Then she remembered her baby. ‘Where’s Jeffrey?’

Ryan leaned back and looked in through the glass window at his brother, whose nose was stuck in the fridge. ‘Where do you think?’

‘Jeffrey, get your head out of the fucking fridge!’ Grace screamed. The three other lads laughed.

Jeffrey appeared, hurt and appalled. ‘I was only looking, Ma.’

She grabbed him for a hug before he had a chance to get out of her reach.

‘Ma, let me go.’

‘I love you, kids,’ she said, and suddenly she was crying.

Ryan got up. ‘I’m outta here.’

Stephen slunk off without a word, and Jeffrey struggled free, then went into the house. Bernard gave his ma a kiss and left his parents alone.

‘Well, I’ve got to hand it to ya, ya know how to clear a room,’ Lenny said.

‘And that’s why I wanted a girl.’

He poured her another coffee, then stood up. ‘Looks like you’re going to have one, after all.’ He walked inside, leaving Grace to contemplate her new reality.

When Rabbit was a baby, Grace used to put her in her red dolls’ pram and wheel her around the green. Rabbit was a fat, squirmy little thing, who didn’t appreciate the confines of a doll-sized pram, so much so that she burst through its under-carriage. Grace wasn’t sure how her baby sister had managed to wreck her pram, but she was sure it had been a deliberate act. Rabbit lay screaming on the grass, fists balled and legs kicking. Grace left her there because she couldn’t carry her broken pram and her baby sister at the same time. No one was going to rob a screaming baby, but even though the pram was broken, it was still beautiful. When she returned to collect her sister, with her irate mother in tow, Rabbit had calmed. She was gurgling happily, kicking towards the sky. Molly didn’t pick her up right away because she looked so content that it seemed a shame to disturb her. Instead she and Grace just watched her have a wordless and invigorating conversation with the blue sky above her.

‘My friend Alice’s sister has to go to a special school,’ Grace said.

‘So?’ Molly asked.

‘Just saying.’ Grace eyed her sister.

When Rabbit was five, she fell down a drain. The Hayes family were on a day out and Rabbit found the only uncovered drain on a thirty-acre farm. She fell far enough that she couldn’t be reached but could still be seen. Grace was standing close to her when it happened. They were looking at cows in the field and Rabbit was intrigued. Grace was bored and hungry. She preferred the zoo: at least there was ice-cream there. She looked away from her little sister for one minute and, during that time, Rabbit had climbed over the fence into the field and disappeared.

‘Ma, Da!’ Grace roared. Her parents and the farmer came running. Grace was the first to reach Rabbit. She looked down the drain and saw her sister, who was stuck but remarkably calm.

‘Are you all right?’

‘I think I’ve broken my shoe.’

The farmer reassured Rabbit that she’d be OK. It was only then that it occurred to her that anything else was a possibility, so she burst into tears and repeated that she thought she’d broken her shoe.

‘Don’t mind your shoe, love.’

‘They’re my favourites.’ She sobbed. ‘And I’m stuck, Ma.’

‘We’ll get you out,’ Molly said. The farmer went to call the fire brigade; Jack paced up and down, mumbling to himself; Grace sat on the grass and made daisy chains, and Molly told stories to her daughters about a girl who fell down a well. Grace listened as she threaded flowers. Molly said that the girl who fell down the well was brave and didn’t cry one bit. She was patient because she knew it took time for the men to come and save her. She was funny because even though she was down a well she could tell a story that had everyone above her laughing.

‘What was the funny story, Ma?’ Rabbit asked.

‘You tell me, love,’ Molly said.

Rabbit thought for a minute or two. ‘There was a girl called Rabbit, she had a really bad habit, she forgot to look and fucked her foot and now she’s in trouble for cursing.’

Grace had never heard her baby sister say ‘fuck’ before, and as much as her ma liked to say that word, it was not a children’s word. She stopped threading daisies, expecting Ma to lose it, but she didn’t. Instead she burst out laughing. ‘You see, love, everything is going to be OK,’ Molly said, and Rabbit believed her.

It was another hour before the fire brigade managed to get her out. Davey missed the whole thing because he didn’t do farms and had insisted on staying in the car, reading comics and listening to the radio. He missed Rabbit telling her story and being winched out of a hole, smiling and waving even though her ankle was broken and she’d lost her shoe. The car park was far enough away that he didn’t see the paramedics treat her and the ambulance take her away. She was wearing the daisy chain Grace had made for her and Ma was by her side. She had been strong even back then.

Grace sat in her garden, thinking about the sister who used to follow her around long before she’d fallen in love with Davey’s band. She regretted the many times she’d shouted at her to leave her alone, to get out of her room or to just go away
. I’m so sorry, Rabbit
.

In the years between childhood and adulthood they had become friends. After Johnny had died and Davey left for America, Grace and Rabbit had grown close, and even more so when Rabbit found herself pregnant by a man she hardly knew. She had considered abortion for about five minutes, then conceded it wasn’t something she could bring herself to do. Life would be so much easier if she could just board the plane and get the situation sorted. Grace was by her side from the start. She didn’t judge, she didn’t preach, and she knew Rabbit was facing hardship as a single mother. She also knew it would be the greatest thing she’d ever do.

‘It doesn’t matter who the father is,’ she’d said, when Rabbit cited that as another reason to consider abortion.

‘I don’t even know what part of Australia he’s from. I mean, he mentioned it once but it’s some country town somewhere in the middle of nowhere. I’ve no idea.’

She’d felt terrible about bringing a child into the world without a father.

‘When I think about who I am, I see my ma and my da,’ Rabbit said. ‘I see you and Davey, too, but I see them first, you know?’

‘I know,’ Grace said.

‘My kid will just see me. A part will be missing.’

‘Your kid will see herself reflected in you, Ma, Da, Davey, me, Lenny, the kids. We are all her family. We are part of who she will become and we’re not so bad, right?’

‘Good enough for me,’ Rabbit said.

‘There you go.’

‘I’m having a baby, Grace,’ she’d said.

‘Yes, you are.’

‘Will you tell me ma?’

‘We’ll tell her together.’

‘Can I stand behind you?’

‘For the sake of the baby, yes, you can.’

Grace was there for her sister right through the pregnancy, but it was her ma who held her hand during labour, not because Grace wasn’t welcome but because, four days before Rabbit’s due date, Ryan had come down with measles so she wasn’t allowed near the maternity ward. Instead she paced her garden, waiting for the phone to ring. It was one minute past seven when the call came.

‘Grace, we finally have a girl,’ Molly said.

Grace had burst out crying. ‘How’s Rabbit?’

Before her ma could answer, Rabbit had grabbed the phone. ‘She’s beautiful! Wait until you see her, Grace! She looks like you. Doesn’t she, Ma? She has your eyes. I’m so thrilled she has your eyes.’ She was breathless, excited, euphoric.

‘How are you?’ Grace said.

‘Blown away.’

‘I’m talking about your fanny.’

‘Ma says it’s a car crash down there.’

‘Don’t worry, it does get better.’

‘Honestly, Grace, I don’t care. I’m a mother.’

‘I’m so happy for you, Rabbit.’

‘I know it sounds corny, but I’ve never felt love like it,’ Rabbit said. ‘Gotta go and try to feed Juliet.’