The Last Days of Rabbit Hayes (4 page)

She didn’t notice Rita come in as she examined her hair and tried to work out whether or not a hat would be appropriate indoor wear.

‘I can have a hairdresser come to the room for you,’ Rita said, making Molly jump.

‘No, no, it’s fine.’

‘Nothing’s fine, Molly,’ Rita said.

‘No, it’s not.’

‘So I’ll arrange for a hairdresser to come to the room. It will be tomorrow, if that’s OK? She can do something for Rabbit too.’

‘Rabbit’s head is shaved. Her hair never grew back properly.’

‘She’ll give her a head massage.’

‘She might be too tired.’

‘We’ll see how she is tomorrow.’

‘OK, thanks,’ Molly said, and began to leave.

‘Molly,’ Rita said, and Molly turned back. ‘I’m here if you want to talk.’

‘I’ll keep that in mind.’ She left the room.

Rabbit was still sleeping when she got back, but Davey and Grace were there.

‘Hiya, Ma,’ Davey said.

‘Hiya, son.’ She walked up to him and held him close, exhaling loudly as she rubbed the back of his neck. ‘Still can’t get used to the short hair.’

‘It’s been ten years, Ma.’

‘It seems like yesterday.’ She looked from him to Rabbit asleep in the bed. ‘She’ll be awake soon.’

‘Da’s coming in tomorrow.’ Grace said.

Molly nodded. ‘He’s not able. He keeps crying in her face. If she told him to fuck off once yesterday, she told him to fuck off a hundred times.’

Davey laughed a little. ‘Only in this family,’ he said.

They sat down, Grace and Davey on the sofa, Molly in the recliner chair. ‘Did your da eat?’

‘He’s waiting for you,’ Grace said.

‘I’ll pick up a curry. Speaking of which, how’s Jeffrey?’

‘Starving.’

‘He reminds me of you, Grace. When you were five you used to eat dirt – I was worried you were simple for a while. Thank God it was just greed.’

‘Thanks, Ma, I feel so much better about things now,’ Grace said. ‘If you want I can make something for Da instead.’

‘I’m not sure he’ll have the stomach for anything,’ Davey said. ‘He looks shook, Ma.’

‘And the rest of us don’t?’ She stared at his tired pale face. ‘We’re all shadows, son. How could we not be?’ Her dark eyes filled but the tears dared not fall.

Rabbit woke when Michelle was changing her Fentanyl patch. ‘There you are,’ she said, as Rabbit’s eyes slowly opened. ‘Your sister and brother are here.’

Grace and Davey stood up and met her gaze with smiles painted on their faces. Davey even waved at her, like a contestant on a quiz show.

‘Jaysus, I’m so bad my siblings have turned into two big goons,’ Rabbit whispered.

‘At least I didn’t wave,’ Grace said.

‘Fuck off, Grace,’ Davey said, in as playful a tone as he could muster.

‘Welcome home, Davey,’ Rabbit said.

‘Don’t want to be here,’ he admitted.

‘You and me both.’

‘How’s your pain?’ Michelle asked.

‘A seven.’

‘The fresh patch should kick in soon. If it doesn’t, you call me.’ She looked at her watch. ‘I’ll be leaving in half an hour, but before I go I’ll introduce you to Jacinta. You’ll like her – she fancies herself as a singer, so, if you want a laugh, get her to sing “Delilah”.’

‘She’s that bad?’ Rabbit asked.

‘She makes that chicken-stuffer on
The X Factor
look like Justin Timberlake,’ Michelle said, ‘but she’s good at the day job and she’s a great old egg.’ She winked. ‘Jacinta’ll look after you. Now, how’s the bowels?’

‘Whistling “Dixie”.’

‘I’ll take that to mean they’re grand. I’ll leave you to it.’ Michelle walked out.

‘She’s nice,’ Rabbit said.

‘And pretty,’ Grace said. Davey’s eyes were following Michelle’s arse out of the door.

‘Slow down. You’re only here five minutes,’ Rabbit said.

‘Don’t be making enemies of Rabbit’s nurses or I’ll murder you,’ Molly said.

Rabbit laughed. ‘Yeah, there’ll be two of us in the hole.’ Everyone stopped dead. It was a classic tumbleweed moment. ‘Too much?’ she asked.

‘Too much,’ Grace replied.

‘Hey, Davey,’ Rabbit changed the subject, ‘I’ve been back in time.’

‘Oh, yeah?’

‘Yeah. Back to our wall, back to the garage. I could see you beating the drum, the boys kicking it on guitar, bass, piano, and Johnny singing. I swear I stayed there until you’d all rehearsed every song twice.’

‘You always did.’ He took her withered hand in his.

‘Lying on the cold floor, daydreaming to your music – those were some of the best times I’ve ever had.’

‘That’s not at all depressing,’ he joked.

‘It was lovely, actually,’ she said.

It was then that Grace brought up Juliet. The subject was delicate and Molly dreaded Rabbit’s reaction.

‘Tomorrow,’ Rabbit said. ‘Bring her tomorrow.’

‘But what should I tell her?’ Grace was unable to hide the tremor in her voice.

‘Tell her that her ma loves her.’

‘But . . .’

‘Grace, please.’

‘She’s asking.’

‘I don’t care what they say. I’m not giving up.’ Rabbit’s eyes were suddenly drowning, and tears flowed as though a dam had burst inside her.

Suddenly she was choking, and Molly was on to it, lifting her up, rubbing her back and soothing her. ‘There, there, my girl, no more tears. We’ll fight and fight and fight.’ She stroked and kissed Rabbit’s head, and when the choking had passed, she laid her down and stroked her cheek until Rabbit’s tears slowly stopped. ‘Go to sleep now, love,’ she said, and Rabbit’s eyes closed. She let out a sigh and was asleep as suddenly as she had woken.

Grace and Davey were horrified. Although Grace was forty-six and her brother forty-four, they were reduced to helpless children standing at the end of their little sister’s bed, unsure what to say or do and desperately willing their mammy to make everything all right.

‘Lenny?’ she shouted to her husband when she arrived at home with ten bags of shopping.

Nine-year-old Jeffrey appeared in the sitting-room door. ‘He’s across the road looking at Paddy Noonan’s new car – well, it’s not new, it’s a 2008, but it’s new to Noonan.’ He took a bag from her, leaving her with the other nine. He looked into the bag. ‘It’s all green in here,’ he said sadly.

‘Get used to green because, until you’ve dropped two stone, it’s all you’re going to be eating and playing on.’ She walked through the hall and into the kitchen.

‘Harsh,’ he mumbled.

‘Where are your brothers?’

‘Stephen’s still in college. Ryan’s in Deco’s and Bernard is upstairs playing Nintendo.’

‘Jesus Christ! Ryan is supposed to come home straight after school.’

‘He told me da he’d a school project to do with Deco.’

‘Lying little toerag,’ she muttered.

Jeffrey sat opposite her at the counter while she put away the shopping. ‘That’s what I said but Da’s a sucker.’

‘Stop watching me,’ Grace snapped.

‘Wha’?’

‘You’re following the food, Jeffrey, and I’m telling you, I’ll have every morsel accounted for. If one morsel goes missing, I’ll chase you with a hammer.’

‘Jaysus, Ma, there’s something wrong with you.’ He got down from his stool.

‘Where’s Juliet?’ she asked.

‘Where she always is.’

‘Is she OK?’

‘Don’t know. She won’t talk to me.’

‘OK. Well, get your tracksuit on. We’re going for a run before dinner.’

‘Wha’?’ Jeffrey was evidently appalled.

‘You heard me.’

‘I’m not running anywhere with you.’

‘Oh yes you are.’

‘I’ll be laughed out of it if the lads see us.’

‘Well, they’ll be the ones who are sorry when you lose all the weight and all the girls want you.’

‘Girls are disgusting.’

‘They’re disgusting when you’re nine, but by the time you’re thirteen, they’ll be one of the few things you think about.’

‘Not if I’m gay.’

‘Well, son, if you’re gay, trust me when I say the body is everything.’

‘You’re so mean!’ he shouted.

‘Get up those stairs and get your tracksuit on.’ She went into the sitting room and sank down beside Juliet on the sofa. The TV was on in the background but Juliet wasn’t watching it. Instead she was buried in a book, which she closed.

Twelve-year-old Juliet looked a lot like her mother had at that age. She had long mousy hair, although hers was layered and had a bounce to it. She was stick-thin and had a pretty little face – no spectacles, but she scrunched up her nose as her mother did when she was thinking. ‘Did you see her?’ she asked.

‘Yeah, she’s all settled.’

‘When can I see her?’

‘Tomorrow.’

‘Why not tonight?’

‘She’s tired.’

‘She’s always tired.’

‘I know, but tomorrow, OK?’

‘When is she coming home?’

‘I don’t know,’ Grace lied.

‘I can take care of her,’ Juliet said.

‘Of course you can.’

‘I know what to do.’

‘I know you do, darling.’

‘So she should be home with me. She doesn’t need a convalescent home.’

That lie had tripped off Grace’s tongue the night before, when she was completely at a loss as to what to say to the child whose mother had just been told she was dying.

‘Let’s see what happens tomorrow,’ Grace said.

Juliet nodded. ‘I just want to go home.’

Grace said nothing, just flicked Juliet’s hair off her face and talked about what she was planning for dinner. Juliet listened politely, waiting to return to her book.

Grace left the room in time to see Jeffrey come down the stairs in a tracksuit that was two sizes too small. ‘Jeffrey.’

‘Wha’?’

‘Is that a joke?’

‘It’s the only tracksuit I have.’

‘Put your jeans back on.’

Delighted, he clapped his hands. ‘Deadly.’

‘You’re running in them.’

‘Ah, for God’s sake, Ma.’

Grace had just changed into her tracksuit when Lenny came into the bedroom. ‘Taking Jeff for a run?’ he asked.

‘I did this to him so it’s up to me to fix it,’ she said.

‘You didn’t.’

‘I’m greedy, always was, always will be. Me ma saw that and she wouldn’t let me eat whatever I wanted, so I learned self-discipline. I knew Jeff was like me. I knew he found it hard to say no, but instead of saying it for him, I let our youngest eat himself to the brink of death. What the hell is wrong with me?’

‘You’re exaggerating.’

‘Pre-diabetes, Len,’ she said. ‘He’s nine and at risk of type two diabetes, just like his granda, not to mention heart disease, kidney failure and blindness, and it’s my fault.’

He put his arms round her. ‘It’ll work out.’

‘Not everything does,’ she said.

Lenny understood why his wife had taken the news of her son’s health check so badly. She had been scared of losing Rabbit for so long, and now it was happening.

‘How’s Rabbit?’ he asked.

‘She’s bad, Len.’

He kissed his wife’s forehead. ‘All right, my love,’ he said. ‘We’ll do our best by her.’

‘And then what?’

‘And then we’ll say goodbye.’

Grace cried quietly into her husband’s shoulder for a long five minutes.

TWELVE-YEAR-OLD RABBIT HAYES
was hidden behind the heavy old fabric and the egg boxes lining the garage wall when Johnny found her. He didn’t pull back the curtain, just sat down on the floor cross-legged, as though they were on two opposite sides of a confession box.

‘Hi,’ he said.

She was quiet for a moment or two, trying to stifle her sobs. ‘Hi,’ she said, once the sobbing had ceased.

‘What’s up?’ he asked.

‘Nothing.’

‘There’s something,’ he said. ‘You don’t cry for nothing.’

She fixed her spectacles on her face and held them there.

‘I can hear you thinking,’ he said.

‘You can’t.’

‘Can, so stop thinking and start talking.’

Rabbit exhaled loudly behind the old curtain. ‘Two boys are always calling me names. Today they took me glasses and said if I don’t bring them money tomorrow after school they’re going to break them.’

Johnny was annoyed by Rabbit’s revelation. ‘What did they call you?’ he asked, maintaining an even tone.

‘Don’t want to say.’

‘Have they hurt you?’

‘They pushed me into a wall, but I’m OK.’

‘How long has this been going on?’

‘A while.’

‘Who are they?’

‘Better not to say.’

Johnny unclenched his fist, then pulled back the curtain to reveal his young friend in her school uniform, two scraped knees raised to her chin as she held her spectacles to her tear-stained face. ‘I need you to tell me,’ he said.

‘Why?’

‘Because me and the boys are going to sort it.’

‘I can’t.’

‘Rabbit, we’re either going to frighten the shite out of two boys in your school or every last one of them, so spit it out.’

For a moment she looked as if she was going to cry again but then she didn’t. Instead she smiled a big, wide smile. ‘Frighten the shite out of them?’ she said. He nodded. ‘Can I watch?’ she asked. He nodded again. ‘Nice one,’ she said.

He helped her up, and as they walked along the little corridor that led to the kitchen, he pressed her to his hip. ‘You’re my family, Rabbit. Don’t forget that.’

The next day Rabbit stood with Johnny at the meeting spot by the clump of big trees two minutes from the school. Francie and Jay waited too. They practised hitting golf balls. Francie used a putter, while Jay messed around with a wood. The two twelve-year-old boys arrived. Chris was the big one, but not as big as either of the two sixteen-year-olds with the golf clubs, and Eugene was the short stubby one with large fists. They noticed the two lads before they saw Rabbit leaning against the wall with Johnny. He had his arms crossed, and when they met his eye, he raised an eyebrow, winked and looked towards the lads, giving them the nod. They responded with a sniff. Then, before the two boys knew it, they were being approached by two lunatics swinging golf clubs.

Francie kicked the legs from under Chris and knocked him to the ground. Then he sat on him and held the golf club to his throat. Jay backed Eugene into a tree, shoved a golf ball into his mouth and practised swinging while the kid held his hands up and started crying.