The Last Goodbye (7 page)

“Eh, I’ve had my part to play in it too, you know!” Ben said, grinning at her.

At thirty-seven, she was two years older than Ben and she never let him forget it. Laura was tall too – their whole family was tall. She must have been at least five foot eleven in her bare feet and she never shied away from heels. I liked that about her – she had a take-me-as-I-am attitude and she wasn’t hung up or insecure about how she looked – unlike other people who would fret over their tummy or the size of their nose, Laura seemed to be blissfully unaware. She was genuinely happy in her own skin.

“I can’t believe I’ve been outlapped by my younger brother!” She plonked herself back down on to the chair. Ben and I sat down across from her while Edwina placed a pot of tea and more scones on the table before joining us. I was glad Geoff was nowhere to be seen. The atmosphere was always heavier when he was in the room.

“So how is my favourite spinster-in-the-making doing then?”

“Shut up, Ben – and I’ll have you know that that title no longer fits – I’m seeing someone actually.”

“Oh yeah?” Ben and Edwina both looked incredulous.

In the whole time that I had been with Ben, I had never known Laura to have a boyfriend. Her last boyfriend had been a fellow barrister and a complete pratt by all accounts. Ben had never liked him. Although he was in the legal profession, he had felt the law was for other people, not him. He had been arrested for drink driving but had managed to get it hushed over because of who he was, so was never prosecuted. But the real straw that broke the camel’s back came when Laura had found out that he had a bit of thing for using prostitutes on the side. She had seen his car one night pulled into a lay-by on a road near their home, so, thinking that he must have broken down, she pulled up beside it. She got out of her car and went over to his and when she looked in the window, she saw her boyfriend with his trousers around his ankles and his head thrown back in pleasure as the woman crouched down over him. She had banged on the window then.
“
He actually had the audacity to look irritated because I had disturbed him – and it wasn’t as if he wasn’t getting it at home!” she would say to anyone she told the story to.

“So who’s the new guy then?” Edwina asked.

“His name is Tim Templeton.”

“What kind of a name is that? He sounds like a character out of
Noddy
,” Ben said. “Are you sure he really exists and isn’t a fabrication of your overactive imagination?”

“I’ll have you know he is a living and breathing, sound-minded human being and we love each other very much.”

“Who in their right mind would call their child Tim Templeton?” Ben said, laughing.

She fired a cushion at him.

“Hey, stop it, you two!” Edwina scolded.

“So what does this Tim Templeton fellow do?” Ben was trying to keep a straight face on when he said his name.

“He’s a musician actually – he plays the cello in the Philharmonic Orchestra.”

“And does he know that he is dating someone who is completely tone deaf?”

“I’m not that bad, Ben.”

“Oh yes, you are.”

“Mum – tell him!”

“Well, let’s just say you were the only child that was asked
not
to sing during the school concert.”

“Mum!”

“It’s true, Laura – the other children complained that they found it off-putting.” Edwina started to laugh heartily at the memory.

“Well, I must say – I have a jolly lovely family!” Laura said in mock indignation.

We chatted easily for a while until it was time to go and change for dinner. Ben’s family were very traditional in many respects – everyone still changed for dinner and reconvened back in the drawing room for an aperitif before going into the formal dining room to eat. The first time I had come to meet them, I had panicked because I hadn’t brought any clothes to change into. The only other clothes that I had brought with me were jeans and jumper for the next day. But if she had noticed, his mother had never said anything to me, which I was grateful for.

I got changed into a forest-green jersey dress, another one of my new maternity-wear collection. That was another thing that I had noticed: all of the maternity clothes in the shops were made from jersey fabric. I mean everything. I looked at myself in the mirror. I had recently had my blonde hair chopped into a bob and I still got a fright whenever I saw my reflection. I needed something to brighten up the outfit so I wrapped a burnt-orange patterned silk scarf around my neck. We were just about to leave the room when I decided to grab a cardigan to put on over the dress because, once you left the kitchen, which had the Aga to keep it cosy, the house was bloody freezing. Even at the height of summer.

We went into the drawing room where Ben’s parents were seated on the Chesterfield sofa. Candles filled the room with a soft glow as the light illuminated the dark age-spots on the mirror. Laura was seated on a wing-backed armchair. Edwina hopped up when we entered the room and offered us an aperitif of Dubonnet. I abstained but Ben took one of the crystal glasses from her and we sat down on the four-legged sofa across from them. I hated this sofa – it was perched up high on four castors and was so deep that when I sat back into it properly a short-arse like me felt like a child whose feet were dangling over the edge.

We chatted for a while and then went through to the parquet-floored dining room and took our seats at the polished mahogany table. It could comfortably seat twenty people and Ben told me stories of fabulous dinner parties his parents used to throw when he was a child. These days Edwina was lucky to have five people around her table. The walls were papered in Chinese hand-painted wallpaper, which Ben’s parents went to great lengths to preserve. Gilded paintings of Ben’s forebears stared down sternly on us all.

“I wonder what they would think of your career choice?” I muttered to him. “They’re probably turning in their graves right now.”

He gave me a dig in the ribs.

“
Ouch!
Watch the baby!” I said in mock anger.

After we had eaten our goat’s cheese starter, Ben’s mum served up a goose and roast potatoes dripping in its fat.

“Bloody hell, Edwina – there’s only five of us!” said Geoff. “We’ll be eating the leftovers of that bird for weeks to come yet.”

“Nonsense, Geoffrey – you know I like to cook a special meal whenever the children return. I had Rob kill it for me yesterday.”

Rob was the farmhand who had been working with the family for over fifty years now.

“How is he doing?” Ben asked as he helped himself to some peas. He served me some before passing the dish to Laura. “We used to have such fun with him – hey, Laura, remember that time we took the tractor out but we didn’t know how to stop it and he had to run after it and jump on?” Ben turned to her and laughed.

“I never knew that!” Edwina said in shock. “My Lord, you could have both been killed!”

“Eh, that’s why we didn’t tell you,” Ben said.

“Any sign of him retiring?” Laura asked.

“Not yet, thank goodness,” Edwina said. “I dare say it will be a sad day when he finally does.”

“He’s irreplaceable.” Ben nodded in agreement.

“No one is irreplaceable,” Geoff cut in.

“Well, dear, I would argue that Rob comes pretty damn close to it,” Edwina said tersely.

We all looked at our plates and ate the rest of the food without much talk.

After pudding, the rest of them sipped dessert wine but I stuck with the water. I never could stomach dessert wine, pregnant or not.

“So how’s school, Ben?” Geoff asked but the words seemed to stick in his throat as they came out.

“Great – I have Year Two, so we’re just starting the basics of addition and subtraction.”

“Hmmh.”

“Ben is really good at his job, you know.” I don’t know what possessed me to say this. Suddenly all eyes were on me. “He received the school’s Teacher of the Year Award last year and he’s being put forward for the head of the Maths Department, aren’t you, Ben?”

“Fantastic!” Edwina said.

Ben glared at me. Nobody spoke for what felt like an eternity.

“Well, isn’t that wonderful? So not only do you have a woman’s job but you also let your girlfriend do the talking for you, Ben.” Geoff slammed his wineglass down hard onto the table so that the crystal was left ringing.

I felt stupid then. I had just made everything worse. Much worse.

“Dad!” Laura said.

“There is no need to be so rude,” Edwina said sharply to her husband. “I get to have my children home only a handful of times a year and then you have to ruin it for everyone!”

“I’m just stating the obvious.”

“I will not let you speak to my son like that!”

“Although you would never think it, he is my son as well actually,” Geoff continued coolly and he took a sip from his wine.

“Well, then act like it!” she said, her voice steely, before she pushed back her chair and walked out of the room.

Ben and I averted our eyes. I just wanted the ground to swallow me whole. What had I just started? We both sat there rooted to our chairs, neither of us knowing whether we should go after his mother or just stay where we were.

“Well, I hope you’re happy now, Dad!” Laura said, standing up, her eyes blazing. She turned and went out after Edwina.

Geoff got up then and walked out of the room, leaving us on our own.

“Well, that was fun.” Ben let out a heavy sigh. He took his linen napkin off his knee and tossed it onto the table. Its corner landed in the gravy boat and I watched as the white linen soaked up the brown liquid.

I stood up and took it out again. “I’m sorry, Ben – I know I shouldn’t rise to him but it just came out. I get so annoyed with how he belittles you all the time. I just wanted him to know that you are a success – you may not work in law but you are good at what you do.” I reached out for his hand.

“I know you meant well but there is no reasoning with that man.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Maybe you should go after your mum. She looked upset.” I rubbed my temples. “I think I’ll head up to bed.” I could feel a tension headache coming on. The evening had left me exhausted.

I climbed the dark staircase and headed to our bedroom. The room we were staying in was at the front of the house. I drew the drapes that hung on either side of two huge windows overlooking the driveway. The room was furnished with all the original dark mahogany furniture. A tall standing mirror stood over in front of one of the windows beside a lacquered screen. The bed was covered with a pelmet and a roll-top bureau sat in the corner beside the fireplace. All the rooms had open fireplaces although the family never used the ones in the bedrooms any more. The floorboards were covered with Persian rugs that were almost threadbare they were so old.

I got changed quickly because the room was so cold and hurriedly climbed under the covers. I was glad to find that Edwina had put a hot-water bottle in the bed earlier to warm the sheets.

I read my book until the door opened a while later. Ben came in and closed it softly behind him.

“Well, how is she?” I said, putting my bookmark between the pages and closing the book shut.

“She’s okay – a bit upset though.”

“Of course she is. Did he apologise to her?”

“Dad – apologise? Some chance!” He sat on the edge of the bed and took off his boots.

“Well, I’m sorry, I know he’s your dad but he really is an ignorant man.”

He climbed into bed beside me and put his cold feet beside mine on top of the hot-water bottle and started moving it over to his side.

“Oi! Get lost!” But I let him take it anyway. “I feel really terrible about it all.”

“Why? You did nothing wrong.”

“I know but I should have just kept my mouth shut. I feel bad for your mum – she enjoys your visits so much but then this happens.”

“I don’t let him get to me any more – it used to. It used to really upset me when he would say things like that but now I know I’ll never get his approval no matter what I do, so there’s no point even trying.”

“You don’t need his approval.”

“I know,” he sighed.

“Here – it’s my turn,” I said, using my foot to bring the hot-water bottle back over to my side. “Well, I think now you’ll be taking a leaf out of my book.”

“How do you mean?”

“Well, after tonight I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to avoid going home for a while. I can give you some tips!” I said, laughing.

The following morning I could tell that Edwina was putting on a brave face as she served us up breakfast. She was trying to force cheer into her voice. Laura was chatting about her flat-mate, telling us some anecdote about how she came home steaming drunk and tried to get into bed with her.