The Last Thing He Needs (15 page)

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow. Maybe he can work me in around my schedule down at the pub.”

Tommy followed Colleen’s glance when she cut her eyes to Bobby. Bobby’s jaw was rigid, and he looked at his slice of pizza like it had done something to offend him. The look she gave Tommy was hard and pointed when she said, “You’ve been working forty-plus hours since summer started. You plan on giving up sleep?”

“You’re working full time too. Besides, it wouldn’t be the first time I skipped out on some shut-eye.”

Tommy’s comment got a derisive snort from Bobby. He got up from the table and tossed his napkin and half-eaten food into the trashcan. Tommy thought for a minute Bobby was going to take off for the night, maybe for a few nights. He looked fed up.
He lasted longer than I thought he would….

“How about we move this into the living room and put on a movie?” Bobby asked, patting Carrie’s shoulder before he freed Max from his high chair. The kids all hopped up, grabbing the remainders of dinner, cups of soda, and more napkins as they went. It took a moment for the room to clear before Colleen and Tommy were alone.

Colleen waited for the kitchen door to swing shut before she said anything. “You guys barely see each other a couple hours a day as it is. Sometimes not even that.”

Tommy picked the black olives off his pizza and scowled. “He’s over here all the damn time.”

“Bullshit.” Colleen didn’t sound angry. She sounded tired but willing to stand her ground. “He spends half his time at work, and the rest he tries to divide between his mother and you. If anyone is going without sleep around here, it’s probably Bobby.”

Colleen had a point and Tommy knew it. It frustrated the hell out of him. He scrubbed a hand over his face and let out a deep breath. “What the hell am I supposed to do, Col? Skip town and go on some romantic getaway? Say fuck it all and let us starve so I can spend some time with him?”

“I don’t know, but the guy is begging for scraps of your attention. He knows he’s about number
ten
on your list of priorities and he gets that, but he’s not gonna stand around and wait forever, ya know?”

“Yeah, I know. But knowing doesn’t get me any closer to fixing it.”

Colleen offered him a sad smile as she nudged him under the table with her toe. “Story of our lives, huh?”

Tommy stood up from the table then, picking up after the kids and clearing the mess away. “That’s the God’s fuckin’ truth,” he said, feeling foolish for the resentment that always rested under the surface. Resentment for his father, resentment for his mother, resenting Bobby a little too. If he and Bobby could’ve just made their connection a few years from now when things were more settled, when Tommy had gotten custody of the kids, when Colleen was out of high school and maybe in a better job with fewer hours and more pay, when he didn’t have two babies to take care of on top of the rest of the necessities. Things would’ve been different. Things could’ve been easier. If he’d only been born to someone who had some sense of decency, some sense of responsibility, everything would’ve been different. “Coulda, woulda, shoulda, right?”

As tired as she obviously was, Colleen got to her feet. She took over for Tommy in the cleanup and tilted her head toward the living room. “Just don’t let Bobby fall into that category, all right?”

Tommy balled up the napkin in his hand like he was trying to choke it. “All right.”

T
OMMY
GOT
his things together, changed his clothes, and found his shoes under his bed before heading into the living room where Bobby was sprawled on the couch with Carrie curled up next to him on one side, Collin on the other with Max and Zoe settled happily in his lap. It must have been Carrie’s pick for the movie because a cartoon was playing, one with fairies and a princess in dire straits. Davey and Mike were hiding from the girlie-movie cooties in their bedroom, but Collin seemed content to watch, probably knowing it was his turn to pick the next one.

The picture they made was so comforting and so sweet, Tommy considered joining them. In the end, though, he decided Bobby probably needed to talk more than he needed to simply hold Tommy’s hand while the kids contended for their attention.

He leaned over the back of the couch and whispered in Bobby’s ear, “I hate to drag ya away from your fan club, but we gotta get.”

They both knew Bobby had an insanely early shift, and they had decided earlier that he would drop Tommy off at work before heading home for the night.

Bobby turned his face toward Tommy. He didn’t look like he was ready for a fight anymore, but Tommy knew firsthand how a few minutes with Max and Zoe and Carrie—even Collin when he wasn’t doing something life threatening—could have that effect on someone. Bobby shifted and put the babies between Carrie and Collin, gave Carrie a kiss on the cheek and told her to be good, and then headed out the door with Tommy.

Neither of them said anything at first. Bobby didn’t seem angry anymore, but he seemed reconciled, and Tommy couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or not. He finally broke the silence. “I’m not gonna take on another job.”

Bobby sounded thoughtful when he said, “I didn’t say you shouldn’t, Tom.”

“I know.” Tommy shifted in his seat and looked at Bobby. “I’m just sayin’.”

“I know how tight things are for you.” Bobby’s sigh sounded pained. “It just drives me crazy that I’m not even allowed to make a
suggestion
or try to lend a hand or… anything.”

Tommy let the comment about lending a hand roll without remark, but he asked, “You have a suggestion? Because right now, swear to God, Bobby, I’m all ears.”

Bobby’s hands got tighter on the wheel, and he glanced at Tommy. “No. That’s part of what pisses me off so damn much.”

The laugh he let slip probably wasn’t appreciated. “Welcome to my life, copper.”

Bobby laughed, too, then and said, “I’m well acquainted with it, but thanks.”

When Bobby pulled up behind Smarty’s, they shared a long, heated kiss. It left Tommy feeling lonely, and he didn’t want to get out of the car. They hadn’t had any time together that didn’t involve the kids in days.

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” Bobby whispered, looking like he felt the same way.

T
OMMY
SAT
on the front porch. At nearly five in the morning, he knew he should be in bed. He was looking at the tip of his cigarette as it glowed angrily in the dark. He’d been thinking more and more about quitting lately and had cut back to less than a half pack a day, but he’d been off work for over two hours, and he couldn’t make himself sleep. He thought about what Colleen had said earlier in the evening about Bobby. He knew she was right. Bobby wouldn’t stand around and wait for his attention forever. Yeah, he’d managed to get a few minutes alone with Bobby, but it wasn’t nearly enough. Something was going to have to give soon, and Tommy hated to think what that might be.

Most days lately he felt like all he wanted out of life was to have the kids safe and happy, well fed, and to be somewhere quiet, alone with Bobby pressed against him. He laughed softly at the idea, thinking he was too old to be making wishes at the night sky. Tommy sucked one last, long drag from his cigarette all the way down to the filter before crushing it out. He was about to get up when headlights shone down the street.

Bobby’s car rolled slowly to a stop in front of their house. Tommy stood up, wondering what could be wrong that would bring Bobby to him in the middle of the night when he was supposed to be working in less than an hour.

He was already in his uniform when he stepped out of the car. Tommy had never had an interest in men in uniform before, especially not cops. But the way Bobby looked in his, the way the trousers fit his ass, the way his badge shone on his chest, made Tommy’s blood sing to look at him.

When Bobby started up the walkway, Tommy asked quietly, “You here to arrest me, Officer?”

“I’m here to ask you what the hell you’re still doing up.” Bobby grinned as he took two of the stairs and then reached for Tommy.

Tommy dipped his head and brushed his lips against Bobby’s before he said anything. “You first,” he whispered and then kissed Bobby again.

“I was on my way to work and saw you sitting out here.”

“Your work is three miles in the other direction.”

Bobby glanced down like he was embarrassed, but then he caught Tommy’s eye. “I swing by here a few times a night if I’m on duty, make sure everything looks okay.”

“Yeah?” Tommy knew then something was changing, because, rather than be annoyed and tell Bobby they didn’t need him watching over them, he realized he liked the idea.

“You gonna tell me to knock it off?” Bobby took another step, standing on the porch close to Tommy.

“Would you quit if I did?” Tommy leaned in as he asked his question, letting his breath brush against Bobby’s neck with his words. He could feel Bobby swallow hard before he answered.

“Probably not, no.”

Tommy was already in Bobby’s space, his hand on Bobby’s hip over his holster. He pressed closer and asked, “Then why should I bother?”

It seemed like Bobby had forgotten what they were talking about. When Tommy rolled his hips and slipped his other hand between them, he could feel Bobby’s cock hardening. Bobby didn’t say anything, but he made a small sound and took in a sharp breath. Tommy grinned and trailed kisses up his throat until he caught Bobby’s mouth with his own.

They stood for a long moment on the dark porch, kissing and touching each other. Tommy’s erection was getting painful in his jeans. He pulled back for a breath and asked, “How long do you have?”

Bobby’s groan was more frustration than excitement. “Less than twenty minutes.”

“I can work with that.” Tommy grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him to the door.

T
HEY
DIDN
’
T
have time to think or even do much, but they needed a safe place where the kids couldn’t wake up and stumble in on them. Tommy dragged him through the living room, into the kitchen, and then around the corner to the laundry room. The space was small, cramped, and hot, but there was no way anyone would find them there.

Tommy pulled the small doors shut behind them and pushed Bobby up against the dryer.

“Is this some new kink you’ve been hiding? Fluff-and-fold fetish?”

Tommy was already trying to open Bobby’s belt and get inside his pants, but he laughed at the question. “Maybe you should stop talking before I change my mind.”

Bobby took the warning and didn’t say anything for several minutes. When Tommy struggled with the various buckles on his gear, Bobby pushed his hands away with a hint of impatience. He unlatched his duty belt, tugged open his trouser belt, and finally unzipped his pants as Tommy leaned in for a sloppy kiss. 

Tommy slid his hand inside Bobby’s briefs and started to push them down his hips. Bobby was already jerking Tommy’s jeans open, and he let out a whimper when he realized that was all Tommy was wearing.

Tommy pulled back with a predatory smile and asked, “You like that?” When Bobby nodded, Tommy didn’t bother to tell him he’d run out of clean shorts and hadn’t had time to wash any.

He wrapped his fingers around Bobby’s cock and started a slow stroke. The head of Bobby’s erection grazed against Tommy’s with every pass of his hand, and all he could think about was the two of them coming together, spilling out white heat all over each other, getting sticky and messy.

As if Bobby was reading his mind, he wrapped his fingers around both of their cocks, stroking them together. “Oh God, Bobby, you feel so good,” Tommy hissed. Another desperate sound escaped when the rough pad of Bobby’s thumb circled the head of Tommy’s cock, slicking its way through clear fluid. “Don’t stop,” he whispered as he rocked his hips harder, forcing a faster rhythm into Bobby’s hand.

Bobby’s strokes got rougher, full of intention, and Tommy knew Bobby was trying to get them off in a rush, quick and dirty, the way they’d grown accustomed to, the way they needed it to be tonight.

He was ready to let Bobby carry him over the edge, grinding against the sensation as he slid his own hands down Bobby’s sides. “Wait,” he whispered, pushing Bobby back.

They were about to make a mess of Bobby’s uniform, and Tommy didn’t think going into the station with come stains all over himself would get Bobby the right kind of attention from his superiors. Though knowing Bobby, he probably kept a spare in the car.

Maybe it was Bobby’s comment earlier about only having use for him when Bobby was sucking his cock, or maybe it was the simple fact that Tommy was letting himself truly appreciate how much more Bobby deserved. “Let me….”

He didn’t explain, instead he sank to his knees in front of Bobby.

Bobby looked like he couldn’t have spoken if he’d wanted to, but he gave a little nod and rested one hand on the dryer as he leaned back against it. The concrete floor was going to make Tommy regret it in the morning, but for the first time since they’d been together, he wanted to do this for Bobby. Tommy had never explained his general dislike for giving head, but Bobby had never questioned it.

It wasn’t Bobby’s fault that one night on his knees for a few ugly old men when he was sixteen was enough to get the power turned back on. It wasn’t Bobby’s fault Tommy had felt dirty and used and disgusted with his life and with himself that night. It wasn’t Bobby’s fault that he never truly ruled it out as an option if the kids needed something he couldn’t steal or work hard for, if it meant the difference between them surviving and staying together or them going hungry. It wasn’t even Bobby’s fault Tommy had never told him. He just didn’t think he could stand the look he’d see on Bobby’s face. Not quite disgust, but a deep and pure hatred for what Tommy had had to do at too young an age. It was easier, less painful, to let Bobby think he was a selfish prick who didn’t like to reciprocate.

But not tonight. Something about Bobby made it easier to let go of all the ugly things he’d seen and done. Bobby put up with his bullshit. He looked after his family whether Tommy was there or not. He made Tommy laugh, and he never backed down. The relentless bastard had dug himself so deep into Tommy’s heart, there was no getting him out. It scared the hell out of him, but he was just going to have to let that ride.