The Law of Attraction (24 page)

“No.”

“Why not?” They both asked in unison.

“For the same reason I didn’t tell them before. Just like I predicted, Braden and my dad got all protective. If I told them about the first one and my suspicions, Braden would likely have all three of those schmucks investigated. I want to do this low key.”

“Is your dad hiring you a bodyguard?” Jess asked.

“No, but we’re getting a new handy dandy alarm system and Braden and I will be seeing more of each other. Oh, and I almost forgot! He wants Mark to hang out with us next weekend!”

“What are we going to do about the party?” Cam asked.

“We’re going to have to get him onboard. Hopefully, we can convince him to help us and not to tell Braden. It might work out even better since Cole knows your voice too and if Marla were there she would probably recognize you even in a mask. Mark may have to be the one to go in with Jess. I think that you and I should still dress the part, though, just in case we have to get close to help them.”

“Derek will vouch for me and the organizer knows him. Fanny Hill is a fake name by the way. Apparently it’s the name of some classic erotic novel. The woman who organizes the parties prefers to remain anonymous.”

“I can’t imagine why,” Jess said dryly. “Derek won’t say anything about the fact that I’m not really married and he won’t be there so it doesn’t matter if Mark goes in my place. We just have to pay the fee.”

“How much is it?” I asked.

“Three hundred bucks. It would have been more if I’d have wanted to use the house services, if you know what I mean. Supposedly Fanny Hill provides professional company for guests willing to pay extra. I don’t think that’s common knowledge, though, even in the community.”

“Fanny Hill — even if it is the name of an erotic novel that’s still a stupid-sounding pseudonym. She couldn’t come up with anything better than that?” Jess commented.

“What, like the Merry Madame?” I joked. “Don’t worry about the fee, by the way. It’s on me. Don’t say I never gave you anything. What else did you find out about this party?”

“Jess told you that next week is a full costume party?’

“Yeah. If Jess is going to treat Cole like a bad little boy we should get some stern-looking school teacher clothes. Maybe you and Mark can dress up like school boys or something.”

“Great,” Cam said without much enthusiasm.

“What? You would have rather been a pirate?”

“Maybe.” He smiled. “Would you be a wench?”

“It doesn’t matter what we are, actually, since we’re just dressing up in case something goes wrong and we have to try to get in or at least blend in outside this place. I should probably pick out something dominatrix-like too though.”

“Anyway,” he continued, “I set up a special e-mail account and I’ll get the location of the party and a code that morning. That night we’ll show up at nine and they give the doorman the code. They go in and from there it’s just like a cocktail party except that there are rooms where people have sex and do kinky things publicly and there are other rooms where they can do them privately if they prefer. He said that we could expect to see about twenty people there.”

“What if Cole’s with somebody?” Jess asked.

“Then you’ll have to distract her. Maybe Mark…”

“Could solicit a prostitute?” Jess asked.

“They’re not all professionals.”

“Right. Maybe he could just publicly screw an amateur.”

“Okay. Maybe not. We’ll play it by ear.”

“Speaking of prostitutes, what are we doing to get Marla’s sample?” Cam asked.

“Well, if her parents cut her off and she needs money she would probably be just as happy for a chance with you, Cam. You could go to her place and distract her, and Jess and I could sneak in and try to find something with her writing on.”

“Um, Gab?”

“Yes, Jess?”

“When you say, “sneak in” do you just mean trespass or actual breaking and entering? And when you say, “find something,” are you talking more like theft or receiving stolen property? Just asking.”

“Okay, technically, this may sound kind of illegal.”

“Cameron, let me just turn this into a teaching moment. When Gabrielle says something sounds ‘technically kind of illegal,’ that’s the same thing as ‘illegal’.”

“Okay. I have another idea then. Anything that’s thrown away is considered abandoned property. If she puts her trash out on the curb then it’s not on her private property and we’re not trespassing or stealing.”

“You want us to dig through Marla’s trash?” Cam asked, making a disgusted face.

“Fine. I’ll dig through her trash. You act as lookouts. In fact, maybe we should just take her trash with us to a safer location.”

“I’m not driving that night,” he replied.

“Jess can drive.”

“Only if we take your car, honey.”

“I have a Mini Cooper.”

“How much trash can she have?”

“Okay,” I said, reminding myself that they were doing me a favor. “We’ll take my car. You’ll drive. Cam can act as lookout and I’ll dig through the trash. If it seems unsafe to do so at that location I’ll take her trash. Does that work for everyone?” They both agreed and I hopped on the computer to check on trash pick-up times in Marla’s neighborhood.

“I think we should shoot for tomorrow night. We can go as soon as it gets dark and move fast. Hopefully, it won’t take more than an hour. And if we don’t get anything, then I’ll just have to think of something else.”

“We haven’t even thought about Mrs. Mason.”

“I know. I’ll have to give it some more thought.”

“So, do we get tonight off?” Jess asked.

“Sure, did you have plans?”

“No, how about you?”

“Braden wants me to come to game night with Mark and Adam again at his place.”

“Oh, are they watching the Phillies?” Cam asked.

“I guess. Do you guys want to come?”

“Sure!” Cam said enthusiastically.

“Sure,” Jess said, unenthusiastically.

At about six-fifteen Braden called up from the lobby and I buzzed him up. I went over to open the door when I heard him ring. He was standing in the hall with an adorable smile and I couldn’t help being charmed and smiling back. Then I heard it. A yip. I looked down. Way down.

“What in the hell is that?”

“This is Bruno.”

“Bruno? Braden, that’s a Chihuahua. Naming him Bruno won’t make him a bigger dog.”

“That was the name he came with.”

“And whose dog is this, Braden?”

“Bruno,” he said, addressing the dog. “This is mommy.”

“Mommy? Braden, this isn’t a baby. This is a dog. A very small dog.”

“Your building had strict size requirements.”

“And what do you think that Bruno would do if I were attacked? Trip the guy?”

“He would bark and alert people that you were in distress.”

“He would bark and alert people that there was an annoying little yippy dog around and they should head the other way.”

“Don’t worry,” he said, addressing Bruno. “Daddy will convince her.”

“Daddy? We’re the parents of a Chihuahua?”

“You never know what the future holds. It would be good practice.”

“For when we had puppies?”

“Can we come in?” I stepped aside. Braden took Bruno off of his leash and he promptly checked the place out and made it his own by peeing on a rubber tree plant. Bruno, not Braden.

“Hey!” Jess exclaimed. “Here, doggy!”

“He answers to Bruno,” I explained.

“Bruno?” She looked confused.

“Apparently Braden and I have a Chihuahua together.”

“I hope he has primary custody,” she said, following Bruno as he headed toward her room. “Wait, doggy. Don’t go in there!”

“Hello, Cameron,” Braden said.

“Hello, Braden. Nice dog. And, um, why?”

“She needs protection. Didn’t she tell you about the letter?”

“A Chihuahua?”

“I promised her father I would get her a dog and her building doesn’t allow pets over twenty lbs. Do you know how small that is? Bruno can bark as well as a big dog can. He’ll alert people.”

“Who’s going to take care of Bruno when I’m at work? He’ll be all alone. And I’ll have to walk him in the evenings. He’ll have to wait all day to pee.” I glanced at the plant. “He’d better wait.”

“I arranged for doggy day care,” he answered.

“Doggy day care? Are you serious?”

“There’s a place right on the way to work. You can drop him off in the morning and pick him up on the way home. He’ll have other dogs to play with and the people there will walk him.”

“Did you check these people out? I mean are they a good place? The bigger dogs wouldn’t pick on him, would they?” I couldn’t help it. I’m a Jewish mother.

“More importantly, can they get him into the right colleges?” Cam added. Braden and I gave him an unamused look.

“I checked them out. They have a good reputation.”

“Well, okay, I guess. You’re going to help me take care of him, though, right? It’s not going to be ‘go ask mommy’ whenever he wants something?”

“Mommy?” Jess asked, returning with Bruno tucked under her arm and one of her slippers in his mouth.

“And are you Daddy?” Cam asked Braden with a smile.

“Of course he is! What are you implying?” I asked indignantly. Jess and Cam gave each other a look that clearly said they thought Braden and I had gone round the bend.

“So, can you convince baby Bruno here to let go of my slipper?”

“Here,” Braden said, digging around in his pocket. He held out a milk bone. And I had thought he was just happy to see me. “Bruno! Daddy has a bone for you.”

“Does that work with you too, Gab?” Jess asked with a laugh.

“Very funny,” I replied. Bruno promptly dropped the slipper and Jess set him down so that he could go get his treat. He looked up at Braden adoringly. He was a daddy’s boy.

“Okay, Gabrielle, we should get going.” He paused. “Do you two want to come along?”

“Yeah, sure!” Cam said with a smile.

“What the hell,” Jess said.

I grabbed my suit-bag and we all headed for Braden’s place with Bruno in the lead on his stylish leash. I had a feeling that I would find all kinds of designer doggie gear at Braden’s place.

* * *

I was right. I discovered that Bruno had his own leather and suede plush doggie bed, a marble bowl with his name carved into it, and enough toys to fill his own play room. How had Braden managed this in three hours? Jess and Cam made themselves comfortable in front of the TV as Braden went to assure himself that Bruno had enough water, just in case it had evaporated in the half hour since I was certain he last checked it. A few minutes later Mark and Adam rang up from the lobby and were at the door, six packs of beer in hand.

“Wow, the gang’s all here,” Mark said as Jess and Cam called out their greetings. Just then I heard the rapidly approaching “clickity click” of tiny nails on hardwood floors accompanied by the “yipping” that only a tiny dog can emit. Bruno had been alerted to the presence of intruders. He came full throttle, stopped short and skidded to a stop at Adam’s feet, barking his little Chihuahua ass off.

“Bruno! Stop! Down! Heel! Shut up!” I tried.

“Quiet Bruno!” Braden said and Bruno immediately stopped barking and sat down.

“Bruno?” Adam asked. I had a feeling that would be a common reaction.

“Is that supposed to be a dog?” Mark asked.

“He stopped you, didn’t he?” Braden asked.

“I was afraid I might step on him,” Mark replied.

“Is this your dog?” Adam asked.

“I got him for Gabrielle, but I’m thinking that I’ll help her take care of him. I’ve been joking around and saying that we’re his mommy and daddy.”

“Oh, that’s so cute!” Mark teased.

“I hope you insisted that this dog be raised Jewish, Gabrielle.” Adam gave me a stern look.

“I’m okay with that. I’m getting kind of interested in Judaism. I’m thinking about taking a class,” Braden said.

“Interested as in ‘hey, that’s kind of cool’ or as in ‘I’m thinking about becoming a Jew?” Adam wanted to know.

“I don’t know. I would have to learn more about it first. You and Gabrielle seem to like it.”

“But we were born this way.” I explained. “We’ve been conditioned from childhood to pretend that a lamp that burned longer than it should have was as exciting as a visit from Santa Claus.”

“I’m just thinking about taking a class to learn more. I’m not exactly a pillar of the Episcopalian church right now though. I doubt that anyone would even notice that I was gone.”

“I think your parents might, but whatever. You want to take a class, I’m all for it,” I said. “In fact, you want to be Jewish? That’s great too, as long as it’s because you really want to be and not because you’re worried about Bruno growing up conflicted.”

“You two are the parents of a Chihuahua and Braden’s talking about becoming a Jew. This is some kind of weird dream, isn’t it?” Mark asked, looking around like he expected to see something.

“Can we get out of the entryway before the beer gets warm?” I asked impatiently. We got out of the entryway before the beer got warm. Everyone settled in and we ordered pizza. We watched a pregame show and began watching the baseball game. Bruno made his rounds, encouraging everyone present to pet and pay attention to him. Eventually he settled in on a loveseat next to Braden and me.

In was an exciting game for the most part, although the Phillies pulled ahead at the end. At the bottom of the ninth inning with our team ahead by four runs I started cleaning up. As I put things away and washed some dishes in the kitchen, I felt Braden sidle up behind me and put his arms around my waist, pulling me close. He whispered in my ear.

“I was only kidding around about the mommy and daddy thing, but I have to admit that playing house with you turns me on.”

“I’ll have to wash dishes more often, dear.” I guess it wasn’t just my shorts riding up last time.

“You know darling, we’ve never had kitchen sex. Perhaps I could bend you over the counter and take you from behind. I’m thinking that I’m just going to pick you up and fuck you against the wall though.” God, I loved it when he said stuff like that.

I glanced up at the living room area which was in plain view. “The game’s almost over. Our guests will be gone soon, honey bunch.”