Read The Law of Attraction Online
Authors: N. M. Silber
Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Humorous
“Someone catch me. I'm going to swoon,” I shouted dryly. And one can actually shout dryly – trust me. Mr. Roth needed to occasionally have a woman fail to worship him and I was happy to oblige.
“Such a saucy mouth on this girl,” he said with a laugh, looking over at Braden. Their colleagues paused in their revelries to pay attention to this little exchange. Two attractive public defender women had ventured close to a table full of semi-drunk male prosecutors. That didn't happen every day. It was like one of those scenes from a wildlife documentary. You know, the ones where the baby gazelle decides to drink from the nice cool stream right next to the pride of hungry lions.
“You think I have a saucy mouth huh?” I decided that now was as good a time as any if I wanted to try my hand at some flirting. “What do you think of my mouth, Braden?” I asked, turning to him. By some small miracle I actually managed to sound calm and even a bit playful. The guardian angel of the socially awkward was obviously smiling down on me.
“I rather like it,” he answered with a flirtatious smile, as his eyes very obviously dropped to my lips, this time in a practiced way that probably had women dropping their panties for him left and right under other circumstances. I heard some suggestive laughter and there were a few comments from his friends that I didn't quite catch – probably for the best. Dusty Springfield was singing
Son of a Preacher Man
in the background and it helped to set the saucy mood.
“There you go, Mr. Roth,” I said, as I walked over to stand right in front of him, leaned down, and looked him directly in the eye, our faces inches apart. “Some men can obviously handle my mouth.” Jess let out a startled laugh behind me. I stood up, smiled and started to walk away. After a second of stunned silence, their table erupted into laughter.
Wow, I really was kind of saucy wasn't I?
I was several feet away when I heard Braden call out and my heart slammed into my chest wall.
“Hey Gabrielle!” I turned around and quirked an eyebrow inquisitively. He gave a devastatingly sexy smile and then said loudly enough to be heard over the crowd, “I can handle your sharp tongue too!” More raucous laughter echoed around him and I dug down deep and found courage that could only be developed after three years of exposure to sadists who enjoyed destroying self-confidence (law professors.)
“Behave or I’ll make you prove it!” I called back loudly, smiling as if I had issued a challenge, and then I turned back around and kept walking. Mercifully, I didn't trip over anything. That one went over very well at the prosecutors’ table, incidentally. I thought for a minute that they were going to either give me a standing ovation or start shoving dollar bills in my stylish but sensible suit skirt. Jess looked over at me with an expression of stunned delight.
“Who are you and what have you done with Gabrielle Ginsberg?”
“So, that was kind of flirty, wasn't it?”
“Kind of? That gets at least an R rating,” she giggled. I looked up and saw Mark waving at us.
“Hey Jessica, Gabrielle!” He had obviously heard that little exchange because he was looking over at their table and laughing with obvious surprise. But then most of the crowd had probably heard it. Jess and I changed course and headed over to join Mark at his end of the table.
“Having fun?” he asked.
“It's certainly been interesting so far,” Jess answered, giving me a slightly bewildered look.
“Have some beer. I'm driving,” Mark said. We filled up two plastic cups from a pile sitting next to a pitcher. “So, what's this about Braden and your tongue, Gabrielle?”
“They were teasing me and I just teased back a little,” I said dismissively, taking a sip of beer.
Jess told him about our little back and forth exchange and he laughed again and looked at me, like he didn’t recognize me and he was trying to figure out who I was.
“So, flirting with Braden, huh?” he asked, sounding both amused and surprised.
“Just being saucy.” I smiled.
“Oh she was totally flirting with him,” Jess corrected, giving me a conspiratorial look. She was so proud of me – I could just tell.
Mark looked back over at the other table. They were off to my side, and I didn’t want to turn and look directly at them, but he seemed to be sharing some kind of unspoken communication with someone over there. I thought I saw him nod subtly and shrug. I wished that I knew what they were saying to each other. I took a deep breath and sat there for a second to let what I had just done sink in.
I couldn’t believe that I had actually pulled it off! I had flirted with Braden Pierce. Geek girl had flirted with gorgeous guy, senator’s son, the man who had his own fan club among the members of the Women’s Bar Association. I felt mad, bad and dangerous to know! I had a feeling that it would be one of those moments I would relive mentally for years. Like the time that I had refused to pay the ten cent fine because the library had closed early the day before and the drop box was locked. In the world of a ten-year-old that was Civil Disobedience at its finest. (I was such a rebel.) I might never actually get to go out with this incredibly hot man, but for one brief moment in time, I was the sexy confident woman in the room. Inner-Gabrielle pumped her fist in victory. It was Miller Time.
Now that the adrenaline was hitting me full force, I was feeling a lot of nervous tension and without really thinking about it I downed a couple of cups of beer in rapid succession. That’s a nice way of saying that I probably could have won a chugging contest at a frat house. Not long after I finished the second one, a waitress stopped over and handed me a piece of paper. It was a note. She told me that if I wanted to reply she would deliver it for me. By the look she was giving me I had a feeling that a monetary donation to her effort would be involved. I looked down and read while she waited, shifting her weight back and forth impatiently.
Dear Gabrielle,
I’ve never seen you this saucy before. You’re not under the influence are you?
Sincerely,
Braden T. Pierce, Esq.
Assistant District Attorney
Oh great! He thought that I was drunk! So much for confident and sexy. I showed the note to Jess and Mark who found it highly entertaining. In fact, Mark almost did a spit take. That doesn’t just happen in movies. Trust me. I thought he was
done
drinking by the way. He looked up at their table and laughed openly. Oh, he thought that was funny did he? I responded directly below and gave it to the waitress to deliver, along with a generous tip.
Dear Braden,
You’ve never seen me outside of court before. Are you implying that I am behaving in a drunk and disorderly manner?
Regards,
Gabrielle S. Ginsberg, Esq.
Public Defender
Just then another group of public defenders from our office came pouring through the door. Someone called out to inform us one of our colleagues had won a trial and it was time to drink and bond. I sighed and prepared. Here came the shots. I heard laughter coming from Braden’s table when my reply arrived. About five minutes later, the waitress, who was probably making some good money with this, had returned with another note written below the other two.
Dear Gabrielle,
I assure you that I am making no such implication. In fact, I like the way you’re behaving very much. I’m, frankly, intrigued by your threat to make me prove that I can handle your tongue. I must confess it makes me want to misbehave.
Best,
Braden T. Pierce, Esq.
Assistant District Attorney.
Oh shit!
He was flirting back – big time! Now what? I hadn’t planned this far ahead. Actually, I hadn’t planned at all. I was winging it and flying blind here. While I desperately tried to think of how to answer that, a round of tequila shots arrived at our table along with salt and lime.
“Salud,” Jess said and downed her tequila. I remembered again why I didn't usually go out with my colleagues on Friday nights. When there were more than two hundred lawyers in your office someone was always winning a trial.
“Viva Mexico,” I said and drank mine distractedly in one swallow.
“Take mine, Gab.”
“I can’t, Mark. I hardly ever drink anymore and I just had two cups of beer and downed a shot of tequila within less than half an hour.”
“You’re not driving. Don’t waste it. There are people going to bed sober tonight all over the world.”
“Fine. Speedy Gonzales,” I said making the only other Mexican-themed toast that popped into my head, and drank his shot too. I vowed that it would be the last one and I didn’t care if someone came in who had just won the trial of the century.
“Are you trying to get her drunk?” Jess asked.
“Maybe.” He laughed.
Finally I came up with something to write. I was going to have to sell some real estate to raise enough money to tip the impatient waitress who had been standing there the whole time.
Dear Braden,
I wouldn’t want to be responsible for encouraging an officer of the court to misbehave in public. That might actually be disorderly conduct – among other things.
Yours Truly,
Gabrielle S. Ginsberg, Esq.
Public Defender
My response was another big hit. I heard more laughter and comments that I couldn’t make out. Actually, I could make out less and less of what was going on around me. My head was starting to feel a little fuzzy. Jess and Mark had been checking out this ongoing correspondence with great amusement. A few minutes later we received a reply from the other table.
Dear Gabrielle,
Would you like to encourage me to misbehave more privately?
Warmly,
Braden T. Pierce, Esq.
Assistant District Attorney
My mouth went dry and I almost fell out of my chair but I had a feeling that people were watching my reaction closely, so I was careful not to get all flustered. Yep – you guessed it – law school. Really, the only thing they don’t teach you there is law. Jess glanced over and quickly did a double take when she read that.
“What?!” she exclaimed. “Is that a question or an offer?” she asked Mark.
“Uh,” Mark began with a laugh. “I think he might be asking her if she wants to hook up.”
Oh fuck!
The flirtation thing had worked a little bit
too
well. Although my position on the one night stand thing was wavering a little at the moment, the tiny little piece of my brain that wasn’t yet swimming in beer and tequila was warning me that having a one night stand with the prosecutor who I faced regularly in court, and was insanely infatuated with to boot, was maybe not a good idea. Jess helped me to get a grip on reality.
“Mark, she was just flirting with him, not trying to pick him up. If he’s interested in her let him ask her out on a date. You know — a date? Where you leave with the same person you arrived with?” I wanted to be just like Jess when I grew up. Then she turned to me. “Honey, you tell him that he doesn’t get to misbehave with you unless he at least takes you out to dinner first.” That sounded like a good response. It even sounded saucy. What the hell — I was feeling courageous. Alcohol will do that.
Dear Braden,
If you want to misbehave with me, at the very least, you’ll have to take me out to dinner first.
Respectfully,
Gabrielle S. Ginsberg, Esq.
Public Defender
“I suspect I’ll be getting a summons soon,” Mark said as we watched my response make its way
toward the other table. “So, you’re saying that you’re not interested in just hooking up with Braden but you would be interested in dating him?”
“I was under the impression that he didn’t really do that – dating, I mean,” I answered.
“He doesn’t,” Mark replied. “You never know though. I kind of get the feeling he may be a little more interested in you, but I can’t make many promises, even if he is.”
“See!” Jess smirked in triumph. “I told you so!” Mark glanced at her with amusement.
“Well, I might possibly be interested, but only if it was like a real dating thing and not just a one nighter with a meal plan,” I said. Mark found that rather amusing.
“So, you would want there to be a
series
of dates?” he asked, sounding like he was negotiating a plea bargain.
“I’m not saying he’s got to commit to a certain amount. I’m just saying that it would have to be more than “one and done” even if I got fed.” I paused for a few seconds and then went for it. “And if he really wanted to date me then it would need to be exclusive.”
“That’s a pretty big demand.” Mark looked like he didn’t think I had a snowball’s chance in hell of nailing that one down.
“I’m not making demands, Mark,” I explained. “I just prefer that people who date me focus on getting to know me, which is easier if they aren’t busy screwing a bunch of other women. Besides, I’m sorry, but I just don’t want to stand in line at anybody’s bedroom door. I was an only child. I never learned to share nicely.” I didn’t hold out much hope either, but I wasn’t going to compromise on this and wind up miserable. I’d rather be frustrated than heartbroken.
“I think what she’s saying, Mark, is that she would be more than happy to tire him out on a regular basis herself but she expects to be treated with respect.” Jess summed things up well.
“Mark, I believe that Mr. Roth is trying to get your attention,” I said. I had glanced over quickly and seen that Adam was grinning at us and gesturing for Mark to join them. Braden looked deep in thought but he was also looking at
me.
My tummy fluttered.
“I’ll relay your position, Gab,” he said with a smile. “We public defenders have to stick together.” Mark was a champion negotiator. I didn’t exactly anticipate success but at least I was in the best hands possible. If I ever committed a felony, (and mind you, the night was still young), I wanted Mark in my corner. When he left I decided to take advantage of Jess and I being left alone to hold a conference and I leaned across the table, speaking in a conspiratorial tone while breathing tequila fumes into her face.
“So, you really think that Mr. Player over there might agree to date me?”
“Anything’s possible. Take off your jacket, by the way.”