Authors: Ernesto Mestre
Swim away, mi negro, there are so many worlds beyond their sea. Leave me here. I will not live to rest my cheek on any shore.
Two Dances
“Do me spiders.”
And she would, before his coffee, as he murmured his morning prayers. She would do him spiders. First one and then two and then a few more and soon hundreds upon hundreds. (She was that good with spiders.) Up and down his back, up and down his hairless legs and especially around and around the hardened dried soles of his feet.
That terrible morning there was no joy in spiders.
He did not murmur his rosary as usual. He was restless as he had never been under the dance of the spiders. He shifted. He squirmed. He stifled his sobs with the pillow. The spiders that morning, so many years since the days of the hepatitis epidemic, seemed a sort of medieval torture, their spindly legs freshly dipped in hot lava, as if they had burrowed out from the holes of the netherworld and not dropped from the gardens of God, as if they wove for him a shroud of fire. There was nothing she could say, nothing she could do to ease his grief, except to do what she had always done, to sit by his bedside and do him spiders. Spiders had saved him then, and they would save him again.
“Do me spiders.”
And she did, and the spiders danced on skinless flesh.
What does a pastor say when he has lost so many sheep? What does he do, besides trying to smuggle the survivors to some other meadow? And how dare
he
flee when the wolf still roams and so many are still vulnerable?
“Do me spiders.”
And she did, as if she were doing it for the first time, as if she had never touched his old wrinkled spotted body, a body that she knew better than her own.
What could she do without him, or he without her, or they without spiders? If his tears were plentiful now, for his friend the old mother (the old mother more a sister than a friend), for the old mother and for the orphaned childâwith their suitcases packed for over six years, waiting for permissionâif his tears were plentiful now, for the woman coming home in a pine box on the six o'clock from Santiago from the land of her exile, where they had declared her death a swimming accident, black-garbed soldiers as pallbearers, who would make sure they would inter her without opening the box, but a least that, at least they would let her rest in the earthâfor all of them, for all this ruined landâif his tears were plentiful now, what of the tears when the Lord decided to separate
them
, he from her and she from him, and they from this daily morning ritual that bound them closer than rings bind lovers?
“Do me spiders.”
And she did, for all the witnesses had spoken and there were no words to add and no words to take away, and the woman whose own suitcase had been added to the stack by the door, next to the water-stained console of the black and white television, waiting for permission, was now returning, in a pine box, with six strangers in uniforms that mocked mourning, on the six o'clock from Santiago.
“Do me spiders.”
And she did, for there was nothing else left to do.
The spiders have their dance.
The dead theirs.
Ernesto Mestre
was born in Guantanamo, Cuba, in 1964. His family emigrated to Madrid, Spain, in 1972, and later that year to Miami, Florida. He graduated from Tulane University with a B.A. in English Literature and currently lives in Brooklyn, New York. Sign up for email updates
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Book One: Â Â Â Â
A Widow's Grief: An Old Tale
The Rumbas in Beethoven's Violin Concerto
The Sermon of the Seven Kisses
Book Two: Â Â Â Â
How the Dead Come Back: The Tale as Rumba
The Camarita Flirts with Eternity
In the Room Lit with a Red Bulb
Carmen Canastas's Tangled New Year's Tale
The Wall & the Prayer-Feathers
Father Jacinto's Great War of the Americas
Book Three: Â Â Â Â
Exile and the Kingdom of Forgetfulness: A Tale in Tongues
The Tale of the Tub (Prologue)
Monologue of Triste the Contortionist: The Thirty-Mile Swim
The Name of the One That He Once Loved That She Once Loved
Monologue of Triste the Contortionist: At Lot's Door
Monologue of Triste the Contortionist: The Passion of Comandante Federico Sánchez
Monologue of Triste the Contortionist: The Tale of the Tub
Within Alicia's BohÃo, in the Colony of the Newer Man
The Bakery Administrator's Daughter
THE LAZARUS RUMBA
. Copyright © 1999 by Ernesto Mestre.
All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America.
No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. For information, address Picador USA, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.
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Part of
chapter 8
was originally published in
The James White Review
and in
Best American Gay Fiction 1996.
The epigraph is from
The Selected Poetry of Rainer MarÃa Rilke
, edited and translated by Stephen Mitchell, copyright © 1982 by Stephen Mitchell, and reprinted by permission of Random House, Inc.
The lyrics of “La fiesta no es para los feos” by Walfredo de Guevara (
here
,
here
,
here
, and
here
) are reprinted by permission of the author.
The extract by Pablo Neruda (
here
) is from
Selected Poems
, edited by Nathaniel Tarn, originally published by Jonathan Cape, and is reprinted by permission of Random House UK Ltd.
BOOK
DESIGN
BY
JENNIFER
ANN
DADDIO
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Mestre, Ernesto.
The Lazarus rumba / Ernesto Mestre.â1st ed.
   p.      cm.
eISBN: 978-1-4668-9006-0
1. CubaâHistoryâ1959âFiction. I. Title.
PS3563.E8135L39 1999
813'.54âdc21
99-21857
CIP
First Edition: June 1999
10Â Â Â 9Â Â Â 8Â Â Â 7Â Â Â 6Â Â Â 5Â Â Â 4Â Â Â 3Â Â Â 2Â Â Â 1