The Leader Who Had No Title: A Modern Fable on Real Success in Business and in (20 page)

“Wow,” was all I could say.

Jackson fell silent.

“Tommy didn’t tell you this, but I lost my wife to cancer a few years ago,” he said, almost whispering.

“Very sorry to hear that, Jackson,” I responded empathetically.

“You don’t have to be. Though I was a powerhouse in business and we really built a stunner of a company, I never neglected my relationship with her. I never fell into the trap of taking for granted the person I loved the most. I never lost sight of the importance of our relationship. Now she’s gone, but I have no regrets. Not one. I still miss her deeply. But I truly have no regrets. Because just as I put people first in my business life, I made my relationship with her my primary priority. Put people first, and everything takes care of itself in so many ways. And we really have forgotten this fundamental leadership truth. The business world is more wired than ever before, but I have to say that businesspeople have never been so disconnected. We have
more technology than at any time in history, yet we experience less humanity. And we are clearly more sophisticated than we’ve ever been. But perhaps we’ve never been so unwise. What I’m really trying to suggest is that being great at business is all about a glorious focus on people. Believing in them. Engaging them. Bonding with them. Serving them. And celebrating them.
If you’re really serious about winning in business, become a walking, talking, living, breathing hub radiating positive energy, excellence, and kindness to every person you are fortunate enough to help
.”

“What a way to put it all, Jackson. Thanks so much for sharing so openly. And I’ll agree with you. People don’t seem to have real conversations anymore. There’s too much texting instead of talking. People are having meals together in restaurants, but no one’s speaking. People don’t even look at each other anymore. People appear to hide from the world with earphones covering their ears and handsets covering their mouths. My parents, God bless them both, didn’t have a lot. But every night they insisted on a family meal. We’d share the stories of our day around a communal dinner table. We’d remember happy vacations. We’d laugh together. We’d support each other. We’d open up to one another. That was so important. It’s great to hear someone who has been as successful as you’ve been, Jackson, confirm that relationships are so incredibly important,” I said, feeling passionate about the ideas this former superstar CEO was sharing with me.

“I’m just a gardener now,” he replied with genuine humility. “But thanks. And just like I now spend my days growing these beautiful flowers up here on this wonderful terrace, you keep growing each and every one of your connections with your teammates and your customers, and you’ll do just fine. And when it comes to your coworkers, please remember that as you nurture the relationship, keep making sure you grow the people. Leaders Without a Title are all about seeing the best in people and creating culture where they can bloom, the same way a good
gardener understands that the soil is mission critical not only to a plant’s survival but also to its growth,” Jackson stated, some more of his old business-speak creeping into the conversation.

“And also remember that people do business with people they like. People do business with people they trust. People do business with people who make them feel special. Treat others like VIPs. You can use your leadership power to make such a difference at that bookstore where you work, Blake. Your teammates will love you for that. And your customers will flock to you. And become your fanatical followers.”

“I’d love to have ‘fanatical followers,’ ” I said enthusiastically. I took a bite of a cookie.

Jackson paused. He looked around the garden. “I know you both are on a schedule, and I’ll need to finish up some things I was working on up here before I call it a day. But I have five very valuable rules I want to share with you so that you can master the principle of the Lead Without a Title philosophy that you’ve discovered with me here today.”

“The principle you’ve taught me being
The Deeper Your Relationships, the Stronger Your Leadership
?” I asked, just for clarification.

“Right. And just like the other two teachers you’ve met so far, I have my own acronym to help you remember these powerful rules.”

“Hit me with it. Starting to love those memorable acronyms,” I replied happily as I polished off Jackson’s delicious cookie.

“HUMAN,” he uttered as he sat on a beautiful wooden bench.

I laughed. “He’s good, isn’t he?” shouted Tommy, suntanning in the corner on a teak chair. He’d strangely sprinkled white flower petals around his feet.

Jackson continued. “The
H
stands for Helpfulness. As I shared with you earlier, business is pretty much simply about being radically helpful. So one of the most powerful thoughts I can offer
you to reach leadership mastery is to
always do more than you are paid to do
. Your compensation will always be a direct function of your contribution, Blake. How many times do you go into a store or some restaurant and just ache that the people who worked there were really, really, really helpful. It’s so rare. Most people are just stuck in this trance. They’ve become so desensitized to seeing customers walk in the front door, they’ve begun to take them for granted. They’ve forgotten there’s a live human being in front of them—and one who essentially puts food on their table every night.
Helpful
is a simple word that is so spectacular if you install it at a DNA level, so it lives at the very heart of the way you work and how you live. Be helpful. No, commit to becoming
the most
helpful person you know.”

“Perfect,” was all I could say. Jackson’s words had triggered a flood of thoughts—and emotions. Leadership was so much more than I’d ever dreamed it to be. It was not only a way that
any
person alive today, within any organization—a business, a community, an entire nation—could use their natural power to inspire others to become all they were meant to be, it was also a way for each of us to realize our best potential and create value for the world around us.

“You know, Blake, human beings have these core human hungers deep within them whether they consciously know it or not. Every one of us wants to know that we are expanding our potential and growing as people. Every one of us wants to know that no matter what we do for employment, we are somehow making a difference. And we all want to know that we are living in a way that when we get to the end of our lives, we don’t feel we have lived in vain. No one wants to get to their deathbed and look back at a life that counted for nothing.”

Those words stopped me cold. I took in a deep breath. I reflected on how I was living. And I realized that unless I made profound changes
now
, my future would simply present me with
more of what I’ve been experiencing in my past. I didn’t want to get to my last day and realize that I’ve essentially lived the same year eighty-five times.

“Which brings me to the
U
in HUMAN. It represents Understanding. To build world-class relationships, you not only need to be astonishingly helpful, it’s also imperative that you be masterful at understanding people. And that comes down to one of the most important of all leadership skills: deep listening.
Speak less and listen more
. Now you might call being a spectacularly good listener a ‘soft skill.’ But that wouldn’t be accurate, my friend. If it was so soft and so easy, then why is a person who really knows how to listen from the depth of their being such an endangered species? How many people do you know who, when you are speaking to them, make you feel as if the world around them has stopped because they have a genuine fascination with what you are saying and what’s about to come out of your mouth next? How many people do you know who listen with such intensity of concentration that it’s almost as if they can hear the silence between each one of your words?

“No one. Can’t even think of one.” I immediately replied.

“There’s not many around. Which smacks of a massive opportunity to stand out far above the crowd. And build your reputation as an excellent Leader Without a Title. It’s truly quiet out on the extra mile, Blake. That’s because so few are willing to do whatever it takes to be out on it. Most people’s idea of listening is simply waiting until the other person has finished talking so they can share the reply they’ve been rehearsing.
For most of us our egos are screaming so loudly we have no ears to hear what anyone else is saying
. Most people just can’t listen well.”

“Why not?” I asked, fascinated at the idea that leadership has a lot to do with engaged listening.

“A combination of things. First, so many among us suffer from collective ADD. So many messages and advertisements
and pieces of information bombard us each day that it makes our heads spin. There have never been so many useless distractions available to human beings. It all clutters our minds and consumes our energy. This makes attention such a profoundly scarce and premium commodity. And with everything we’re processing, we just don’t have that much attention left over for the people who are speaking to us. That’s a crime, because they feel it. One of the deepest of all human hungers is the hunger to be understood. We all have a voice inside of us. We all want to express it. And when we feel that someone’s taken the time to hear and acknowledge it, we open ourselves up to that person. Our trust, respect, and outright appreciation for that person soars.”

“And so does our relationship with them,” I chimed in.

“Exactly. Deep listening is one of the bravest—and rarest—of all of the central acts of real leadership. You know, Blake, a large part of your work at that bookstore is to lift people up in a world that tears people down. And an absolutely brilliant way to do that is to create a space of listening around you that your teammates and customers can step into. You really
honor
someone by giving them great listening.” Jackson paused. He plucked a daisy and twirled the stem, thinking quietly.

“Another reason most of us listen so poorly is ego, as I mentioned.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely. The fact of the matter is most of us are pretty insecure creatures. So when we go to work each day, we want people to think we are smart, strong, and together. Pure egotripping. We get stuck into that outdated model of leadership that says that the best leader is the one who talks the most, speaks the loudest, and listens the least. We make the mistake of thinking that the person doing most of the talking is the one who has all of the answers. Wrong. Leadership is about listening. And allowing others to feel heard. That takes a big person. Some people
really do believe listening is a soft skill. But in fact, it’s so very hard. And it does take a brave person to turn down the noise of their ego so they can turn up the volume of their listening. It takes a really powerful and secure human being to be quiet enough to let the ideas of others be considered and heard.”

Jackson walked over to Tommy and sat down next to him.

“C’mon over, Blake. Let’s get a little bit of this sun.”

The sun was getting lower in the Manhattan sky. There wasn’t a single cloud to be seen. The modern towers sparkled, and I could hear the noises from the congested streets below us. A thought came to me as I sat down next to these two gentlemen: this was a truly great day to be alive.

“Here’s the thing about getting really good at understanding people and deep listening: you’ve given them a gift that most individuals never receive. Most people—and I’m serious about this—have lived an entire lifetime without having anyone show them what masterful listening looks and feels like. Why? Because we’re all so incredibly busy—and self-absorbed. All mere excuses, of course. But when you listen—and listening is such a different thing from hearing—the person speaking begins to feel so understood. That personal hunger to have their voice heard begins to get fed. They feel safe. Trust grows. And then guess what happens?”

“No clue, Jackson,” I responded, leaning forward with interest.

“Because they feel safe, they slowly begin to take down the protective armor that they put on each morning before they leave the security of their homes and move out into a hard and fast world. They dismantle the guard they have erected against the disappointment and discouragement they expect from people in their lives. That person begins to see that you really care about them. That person begins to get that you want them to win. That person begins to realize that you have their best interests in mind. And so they begin to give you their very best.”

“Fascinating process,” I replied.

“It is. And when that starts to happen, the relationship starts to ascend into outright success. Your teammates begin to worship the ground on which you stand. They’ll champion you, encourage you, and go to bat for you when you need them. And your customers will become your goodwill ambassadors evangelizing your good name to anyone who cares to listen to them, on every street they walk.”

All three of us started to laugh. Jackson’s passion was palpable. I could easily see that he loved talking about leadership, the power of relationships, and developing the genius of people.

“The
M
in HUMAN will remind you to Mingle. Be out there connecting with your teammates and networking with your customers. There’s such awesome value in circulation. Positive results and incredible victories you never expected begin to show up just because you’re out there mingling with the people you do business with. When people see your face, you stand out. They get to know you. They begin to like you.
And always remember that people love doing business with people they like
.”

“So true, Jackson. My customers at the bookstore like me a lot because of my enthusiasm for books. And so they keep coming back.”

“In these competitive times, keeping your relationships clean and strong is strikingly important. Now is
not
the time to hide out in your cubicle. Now is
not
the time for anyone in business to retreat behind a wall of email. Now is definitely the time to be out there building bridges, rolling up your sleeves, and connecting with your colleagues and customers while you help them get to where they want to go. Drink coffee with your stakeholders. Have lunches with your customers. Find out what worries are keeping them up at night and how they are feeling during this period of dazzling turbulence in the business world. Tell them that you are with them not only in the easy times but during the
tough ones. They’ll never forget you for this. And they’ll reward you with their loyalty.”