Read The LeBaron Secret Online
Authors: Stephen; Birmingham
“What bridge?” says Eric crossly. “Where's she coming from, anyway? Isn't she just coming from Pacific Heights?”
“Well ⦔
“Meanwhile,” says Bill Whitney in his prissy voice, adjusting his spectacles across the bridge of his nose with his left pinky, “while we're waiting for Miss LeBaron, I have a suggestion to make to the meeting. As I'm sure we all realize, today's meeting will involve certainâahâdivergences from our normal procedures. The correct tallying of share votes will be particularly important today.” You can say that again, Sari thinks. At meetings in the past, nobody had paid much attention to how many share votes each stockholder had because everybody just voted to support her policies. “Since any voting that will be done today will be done in the thousands of shares,” Bill Whitney continues, “I suggest that each individual shareholder be given one vote for each thousand shares held. Thus, the holder of two thousand shares would be given two votes, a holder of four thousand shares would have four votes, and so on. I believe this would simplify things. Are there any objections to this proposal?”
No one speaks.
“Very well,” he says, “then that is the way we will proceed. As soon as Melissa LeBaron arrives, that is.”
“May I suggest,” says Harry Tillinghast, “that this meeting does not intend to wait for Melissa LeBaron forever?”
“No,” says Bill Whitney. “But I think we can be a little flexible, Mr. Tillinghast.”
“Thank you,” says Mr. Kline. “I assure you my client will be here at any moment.”
“And in the meantime,” says Sari, “
I
have a proposal to bring before this tribunal.”
“This isn't a tribunal, Mother,” Eric says sharply. “This is a shareholders' meeting.”
“Well, tribunal, kangaroo court, whatever you want to call it,” Sari says.
“Sari darling,” Joanna says from across the table, “please don't make jokes. We're here to discuss serious business.”
“What is your proposal, Mrs. LeBaron?” Bill Whitney asks.
“Well,” she says, “as you all know, Melissa is presently laying claim to six thousand additional Baronet shares under the terms of her father's will, plus the four thousand shares she already owns. Am I correct, Mr. Kline?”
“Correct.”
“Very well. These additional shares have not yet been delivered into Melissa's custody, and it will be her contention that they are still unrightfully being held by Lance LeBaron. Correct?”
“Correct.”
“Very well, then. Since it may be some time before Melissa's claim is settled, and there may be lengthy litigation before it can be, there seems to me to be no question that the matter will be resolved in Melissa's favor. After all, my husband's will was quite specific, and there are no ambiguities. Four thousand shares were left to Melissa outright. Twelve thousand shares were to be divided equally among Joanna LeBaron's children. Melissa and Lance are both Joanna LeBaron's children. Therefore, Melissa is legally entitled to half of that twelve thousand. Correct?”
“That is our position, Mrs. LeBaron,” Mr. Kline says.
“Therefore, in light of the obvious eventual outcome of this, I propose that for the purposes of this meeting, Melissa LeBaron be conceded the right to vote the full ten thousand shares which she will at a future date own, and that Lance LeBaron be permitted to vote only the six thousand shares to which he will be eventually entitled.”
There is a whispered conference between Joanna and her lawyer, and hasty scribbles on the pads of yellow legal foolscap.
“Are you putting this in the form of a motion, Mrs. LeBaron?” Bill Whitney says.
“Yes. I so move.”
“I second the motion,” says Peeper.
“Moved and seconded,” says Bill Whitney. “Very well. We'll vote in the same clockwise order. Remember, one vote per thousand shares. Mr. Tillinghast, how do you vote?”
“Against the motion,” says Harry.
“Eric?”
“Against,” says Eric.
“Mrs. Kiley?”
“Against.”
“In favor,” says Sari.
“In favor,” says Peeper.
“Mrs. Kiley,” says Bill Whitney, “how does Mr. Lance LeBaron vote his proxy?”
“Lance LeBaron,” Joanna says carefully, “abstains from voting on this matter, since it involves the number of shares he is entitled to vote. A vote from my son on this motion would not be proper. In fact, it seems to me that it would be quite improper.”
“I agree,” says Bill Whitney. “However, that leaves us with a tie-vote situation.” He consults his yellow pad. “Thirty-two votes in favor, and thirty-two against.”
“However,” Joanna says, “I believe that in any situation such as this one, a failure to vote is recorded as a vote against the motion. Melissa LeBaron has failed to vote. Therefore, as a shareholder of record of four thousand shares, her vote must be entered as four votes against.”
Mr. Kline slams his fist down hard on the table, but says nothing.
“You are of course correct,” Bill Whitney says, touching the frames of his glasses again with a fingertip. “My oversight. Therefore, the motion has failed, thirty-six to thirty-two.” He gives Sari a disappointed look. “Sorry,” he says.
“And now,” Joanna says, “I would like to make a motion.” She consults her watch. “This meeting was called for nine o'clock. It is now nine twenty-five. Melissa is already nearly half an hour late. I move that we adjourn for exactly fifteen minutes, and if Melissa has not appeared within that time, that we proceed without her.”
“That seems reasonable,” Bill Whitney says. “Shall we vote with a show of hands? All in favor?”
All hands go up except Sari's, and, when she sees that Peeper's hand is also up, she tries to pull it down, but it is too late. She gives him a venomous look.
“The motion is passed, thirty-six to thirty-two,” says Bill Whitney, and he gives Sari another sad look. He, at least, is on her side, though he has no vote. If Eric and Joanna come to power, they will fire this poor horse's ass, and he knows it. At least, with Sari, he knows he has a job. A thankless job. But a job.
Mr. Kline also looks unhappy.
“Failure to vote is a vote against!” Sari cries. “Melissa's vote has to be counted against this motion!”
“I already have counted it, I'm afraid,” Bill Whitney says with the same apologetic look. “The votes against were your twenty-eight, and Melissa's four.”
“It is now nine thirty-two,” Joanna says. “Melissa has until exactly nine forty-seven to get here.”
The little group moves out into the sitting room of the suite, where the coffee urns and pastries are, but no one seems to have an appetite for any of this.
“Well, Sari dear,” Joanna says, “I guess you could say I've won rounds one and two, couldn't you?”
“You are a miserable, conniving, thieving woman,” Sari says. “You are a ruthless, selfish sneak. I don't know why it's taken me so many years to see through you. When we get back into that room, shall I mention what went on with you and Peter? Shall I let that black goddess punch that into her little machine and into the record? Shall I?”
Joanna turns on her heel and crosses the floor to join Eric and Harry on the opposite side of the room, and of courseâshe is not a stupid womanâSari knows she should never have said that, never have said that at all. I am losing my control, she thinks. No, she thinks, I've already lost it. Turning to Mr. Kline, she says, “Have you tried to reach her on the telephone?”
“There's no answer at her apartment,” he says.
I am dying by inches, Sari thinks. I am dying by inches, but I've lived by miles.
“Pick a card, any card,” Melissa says.
He draws a card from the deck, and looks at it.
“Don't show it to me. Now put it back in the deck. Now, we shuffle them ⦔ The telephone that has been ringing steadily all morning has just stopped ringing again.
“Don't you ever answer your phone?” he says.
“Not today I don't.” She shuffles the cards, and then spreads them out on the table, face up. “Your card,” she says, “was the seven of diamonds.”
“Gee, how did you do that?” he says. “That's a neat trick, Melissa!”
“Once you know how to do a thing properly, it's easy,” she says. “But that's a childish game. Let's try a more mature one. A simple hand of draw poker.” She gathers up the cards, shuffles them once more, and deals them each five cards. She picks up her hand and looks at it. “I'll stick with the hand I've got,” she says. “But you can discard and draw three more, if you want.”
He discards three cards, and draws three new ones.
Melissa places a dollar bill on the table.
“I'll see you on that,” he says, and covers her dollar with one of his own.
“I'll raise you five,” she says, and adds five dollars to the pot.
“Fine,” he says, and fishes a five-dollar bill out of his wallet.
“I'll raise you a hundred,” she says, and from her purse produces a new hundred-dollar bill, and adds it to the little pile.
He hesitates, studying her face.
“Will you see me on that?” she asks.
He lays down his hand. “Three deuces,” he says.
She spreads out her hand. “Three jacks,” she says. “Sorry, Maurice, but you lose. You also lose literally as well.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean it's over. The gravy train has come to the end of the line. I realize that I'm a rich woman, but my resources are not the bottomless pit you seem to suppose. I'm through sending good money after bad. I've given you money, and I've seen you blow it on pills and poppers and coke and hash. I've tried to give you what I thought you neededâanother chance. It hasn't worked. You've blown it, Maurice. I'm through with you. I'll give you twenty-four hours to pack up your stuff and get out of my house.”
His eyes narrow. “And if I won't go?”
She gathers up the cards and scoops up the money from the table. “You're a bum deal, Maurice,” she says. “If you won't go, I'll call the police and have you physically removed. Either you go peacefully, or I'll call the police. Do it whichever way you want. Dealer's choice.”
In the suite at the Fairmont, Joanna LeBaron says, “Well, shall we give her five more minutesâon the theory that she's operating on Central Standard time? I'm willing, if everybody else is. But really, this is ridiculous. She's just wasting everybody's time. If the rest of us could make it to this meeting on time, why couldn't she? I came all the way from New York for this, and I was hoping to make a three o'clock plane. If I have to wait for the seven o'clock, I won't get home until after midnight. And I have an important business meeting in the morning.”
Typical Joanna, Sari thinks. Always playing the prima donna. The overworked lady executive.
Her
business meetings are always more important than anyone else's. Of course.
Always
.
“I agree we've waited long enough,” Bill Whitney says, and the little group files back into the meeting room.
“Now,” Bill Whitney says when they are all seated, “we come to the principal business at hand. Mr. Harry Tillinghast has tendered an offer to buy our company from its shareholders. As all of you have been notified, this offer consists of thirteen and a quarter shares of the Kern-McKittrick Corporation common stock for each single share of Baronet Vineyards common stock. Now, I realize that a problem has arisen involving the number of shares to which Melissa LeBaron is entitled, and the number of shares to which her cousin, or I should say half brother, Lance LeBaron, is entitled. But I am also given to understand that this dispute will soon be settled in an equable and friendly manner between Miss LeBaron and Mr. LeBaron. Am I correct, Mr. Kline?”
“That is correct.”
“I think, therefore, that we can set this dispute aside for the purposes of our meeting today. To do this, I suggest that we consider Melissa LeBaron, for the purpose of today's meeting, as the owner of only the four thousand shares to which she is unquestionably entitled, and about which there is no dispute. As for the twelve thousand shares which Lance LeBaron presently holds, six thousand of these shares are held by him beyond question, and without dispute. Am I correct, Mr. Kline?”
“Correct. About these shareholdings, there is no question and no dispute between my client and Lance LeBaron.”
“Therefore, I suggest that for the purposes of this meeting we limit Mr. Lance LeBaron's entitlement to only those six thousand undisputed share votes, and that Melissa LeBaron be limited to her four thousand share votes which are undisputed. Will your client accept this arrangement, Mr. Kline?”
“My client accepts. She has so indicated to me in a letter dated April nine.”
What's this? Sari thinks. Where did this letter come from? “May I see this letter?” she asks.
“Certainly,” he says. He reaches for his briefcase, snaps it open, and withdraws a letter which he passes down the table to her. She glances at it briefly, waves her hand, and passes it back to him.
“Therefore,” Bill Whitney continues, “a motion is in order that, in any balloting that may occur today, Mr. Lance LeBaron be entitled to six proxy votes. Does anyone so move?”
“I do,” says Sari.
The motion passes, unanimously, and Sari thinks: Good! That's six less votes for their side.
“I feel,” says Bill Whitney, “that by leaving disputed shareholdings out of today's balloting, we can speed and simplify matters, leaving the dispute to be settled at some later date.”
“Agreed.”
A greed, Sari thinks. She can see a voracious greed in the eyes of everyone at the table. Isn't that what all this boils down toâa greed?”
“There will, therefore, be a total of seventy-four shareholder votes taken today. A simple majority of thirty-eight votes will be needed to pass or fail any motion to accept Mr. Tillinghast's offer, or to reject it. Are we ready to begin balloting? Do I hear a motion?”