The Legend (65 page)

“That’s
more like it.” I laughed. “Now let me take my little sister to dinner.”

Emma and I
ended up going to this barbeque restaurant we loved and eat our body weight in
smoked ribs. I hadn’t eaten that much in a long time and contemplated being
rolled out of the restaurant.

We talked
about dad, all the good times we had with him and then she brought up the
accident. “Do you feel like it’s your fault?”

I was
quiet for a moment, took a drink of my beer and then answered her honestly. “No
...
I did. I won’t lie. But just like Darrin, it
wasn’t within my control. I can’t control what happens on a racetrack. I can to
an extent but wrecks
...
they’re not planned.”
I shook my head as I set my beer on the table. Emma listened intently. “But I
also know that something wasn’t right about the accident and with Grady…well,
we will never know and I’m not going to dwell on it. I saw how much me hanging
on to what happened with Sway hurt over the years. I don’t want to do that
again.”

Emma’s
eyes met mine. “But do you believe that? Do you honestly believe it wasn’t your
fault?”

“Now I do.
It took a while but yes, I do. Even if the tire hadn’t blown or the axle and
bearing didn’t break, on dirt, anything can happen.” I leaned back in the chair
looking out the window at the cars passing by. The headlights from the vehicles
flashed against the window. “You always think; what if this hadn’t happened or
what if I didn’t choose that line
...
but
nothing is going to bring him back. It happened.”

Emma, who
was watching the cars as well, looked over at me. “I’m really glad you’re okay.
I’m not sure we could have gone on if one of you hadn’t made it.”

Smiling at
her, I asked. “Why did you make those books for me?”

Emma
sighed as though this should have been obvious. “Even though you are an asshole
...
I do love you. You, Spencer, Sway, Alley
...
you guys don’t know how much I’ve enjoyed
just being a part of all this.”

“You mean
racing?”

“Yeah,
I’ve enjoyed every minute of it.” She said sincerely. “I mean, growing up
selling t-shirts for dad and being involved was fun but by that time dad had
all that stuff taken care by people who knew what they were doing. You
...
” she smiled, her bright blue eyes glowed.
“You really did need me there for you.”

“We all
made a great team, didn’t we?”

“We did.”
She agreed with another warm smile. “Even after dad started the Cup team, I
still look back to those summers where we lived out of your truck. They were
and still are some of the best summers of my life.”

“They were
pretty great, huh?”

“Yeah at
the time I’m sure we would have disagreed but now, yes they are.” Emma giggled.
“I’ll never forget us getting caught in the tornado or the time we went to that
race in Republic with the chickens in the turns.”

“Chickens,
that wasn’t even the worst part! You should have seen the fucking cow that
wandered out there during the heat races.”

As Sway
and I had done, Emma and I took a walk down memory lane of all the moments throughout
out our lives that stood out to us. Every one of them involved racing, as
that’s all we ever known.

“You don’t
ever feel like by me racing, you didn’t get to do what you wanted as a child?”
I asked sometime after we left and were now walking back to my truck.

“No. Like
I said Jameson, I loved every minute of what I do.” Emma shuffled through her
purse to find her cell phone that was vibrating. “You have no idea what’s it
like to watch you do what you do.”

I laughed
unlocking the door and climbing in. “You act as though it’s like going to your
favorite concert every night.”

 “It
was just like that for all of us.” Emma got inside the truck as well tossing
her purse on the floor and then turned to face me. “That summer, the summer we
all left home we could pull into any track in the mid-west or even the east
coast and win. On any given night, it didn’t matter if Justin or Ryder or even
guys like dad or Evans were racing. I knew, without a shred of doubt my brother
could go out there and win. You have no idea what it was like for us witnessing
that side of you.”

I smiled
in the darkness remember what that was like for us that summer.

“When we
left home, I remember how everyone would say,
“Oh, he’ll be back,”
but I
knew you wouldn’t. You left home with something to prove and by the end of that
summer when you won the Triple Crown at eighteen
...
I
knew I had been a part of history and greatness and that you would continue to
be.”

Emma had
never talked to me like this before and I wasn’t really sure how to process
what she was saying to me.

“I never
grow tired of watching you race, just the determination and energy that
radiates from you is enough to be notable but then it’s you. You have the raw
natural ability in a car that really makes you a legend Jameson.”

Sighing, I
took in what she said before smiling back at her. “Kind of like dad.”

I don’t
know why I said that. I always told Axel not to compare himself to me but I do
it with Jimi all the time.

“No, you
and dad are different. Dad was entertaining to watch but he didn’t drive like
you do.” I must have given her a funny expression because she laughed and shook
her head. “I guess what I mean is take Knoxville Nationals three years ago
...
do you remember that race?”

I nodded
carefully so she continued.

“Dad goes
out there and set fast time. He made this clean lap, smooth lines and pushes
the car to the limit of that run. Kind of like he always did. Then you come out
some ten cars later, dad still has fast time up until then. I watched from the
pit bleachers like I always did when you qualify
...
and
that’s when I see you staring at the track while you wait in line to qualify.
You got out right before your turn and grabbed a handful of dirt in your glove,
testing the consistency of it, then, you got back inside.

“No other
driver does this but you, and you do it
every
time. So when you go out
onto the track and the green flag drops your lap, you run down low on the
bottom along the front stretch and up high on the back stretch. You knew by
testing the dirt the lines had changed and the moisture was gone out of the top
groove without even experimenting on that first lap.

“You
didn’t drive the same as he did either. You poured every ounce of yourself into
those two laps because to you, that wasn’t just qualifying. To you
...
that meant a good starting spot and anyone
that has ever raced Knoxville Nationals knows where you start matters. And you
broke his record and the existing record that was held there for six years.

“That’s
the thrilling part about watching you race, you put everything you have into
every lap you make. I’ve watched you run for laps on flat tires, pieces hanging
off your car, your brakes so hot they’ve melted the brake pads but you hang on
just to give it
everything
you have. And it’s absolutely mesmerizing
that someone can do that.”

We were
silent for a moment and then it made sense to me. “I think that’s why I’m
retiring.”

“What?”

“I can’t
do it anymore. And if I can’t put everything I have into it, I won’t do it.”

“But you
did at Charlotte and Dover.”

“Like I
said, I can’t just go out there with half of myself. So until that last race in
Homestead, I will continue to pour every last piece of me into this until I see
that checkered flag. To me, that’s what my team deserves from me.”

“And
that’s
what makes you who you are Jameson. And
that’s
why all of us have done
what we’ve done for you. We see that dedication, that energy you put into
racing because it’s important to you. It’s import to us.”

We were
now sitting in Emma’s driveway. Noah was there standing outside with Aiden who
looked annoyed at his son once again. I can’t say I was surprised.

“Ugh…I
wonder what they’re arguing about now.” Emma slumped in the passenger seat.

“Who knows
with those kids,” Aiden waived toward us and then slammed the front door
leaving Noah standing by himself on their wooden wrap around deck that sprawled
across the front of the home. Noah leaned against the railing and hung his
head.

“Looks
like he’s upset about something,” I never knew either one of their boys to get
upset as it was them usually upsetting others.

“Yeah,
Noah’s been having some girl problems these days. Apparently
...
his girlfriend dumped him for another guy
...
” she quirked an eyebrow at me. “
...
that guy being Casten.”

“Say
what?” That caught my attention.

“Casten
had nothing to do with it.” Emma jumped to his defense. “Girls just flock to
him, kind of like they did with you.”

“Uh
...
still do.” I pulled at my shirt as if I was
hot.

“Oh
right,” she laughed sarcastically. “Still do.”

“Casten
didn’t
...
uh, did he act on it?” I would hate to think
he would disrespect his cousin like that.

“Oh
heavens no, you guys taught him well. Casten basically told her to get lost and
told Noah about it. He’s been
pissy
ever since.”

“Maybe he
needs his mom. Aiden never has dealt well with the girl problems.”

Emma
laughed rolling her eyes. “Yeah, you should have heard the sex talk. It
consisted all of throwing a box of condoms at them and telling them to “Google”
it.”

Aiden was
as shy as they came when it involved sex, I wasn’t surprised. I also knew that
Aiden couldn’t make a decision to save his life and having an in-depth
conversation like that problem gave him indigestion.

Emma was
about to get out when she stopped and turned back toward me. “Thanks for
tonight Jameson. It was really nice to hang out with you.”

“You too
Em
,” I smiled down at her. “You may be annoying but you’ve
been a great help to me.”

“Well,
you’re still an asshole so all’s good.”

Driving
back to my house just down the street, I felt good about tonight. I had to fly
out to Pocono tomorrow but tonight, I was spending the rest of the evening
showing my wife, just how much I’ve loved her over the years.

I made a
detour to get her some ice cream and a new book that she had been talking about
and drove back home. She was up in our room already while Arie and Casten were
watching movies in the movie room with someone. I
peeked
my head in to say hello wondering if Axel was home only to find Easton and
Tate’s son Jacob in there with them.

“Oh, hey
guys.” My eyes immediately caught the close proximity Easton was to Arie. 

Not to my
surprise, they jumped when they heard me.

“Hey dad,”
Casten said with a smirk, he nodded in the direction of Arie with a smart as
look. He was a little instigator, always had been.

Arie
slowing scooted sideways away from Easton just a few inches and gave me a smile
like she knew she’d been caught. I told myself that I wouldn’t interfere with
her and her dating but the fact that Easton was a racer was unnerving for me.
Since the deal with Grady, I knew that she and Easton were getting closer but
it didn’t make me feel any better that she was dating again.

Before I
embarrassed them, I went upstairs to deliver the ice cream and book to
Sway
.

She was emerged
in our tub, candles lit all around her.

“Is there
a fire in here?” I joked stripping down to nothing in just a few seconds. I
managed to grab two spoons from the kitchen on my way up so I set all that
beside the tub next to the window and climbed in behind her.

She
grinned and looked at my body as I did so. “It’s easy to get you naked these
days.” She waggled her eyebrows in an adorable come-get-me-type of way.

“Could you
be any more adorable?” I kissed the top of her wet hair and then pulled her against
my chest.

“That
doesn’t hurt?”

“No honey,
I’m fine.” I was sore a lot more than usual these days but all in all I had
pretty much made a full recovery from the accident less than six months ago. I
felt good about that.

“How was
dinner with Emma?”

“Good,” I
chuckled remembering Sway warning me to not kill Emma when we left. “We talked
a lot about that summer.”

“When we
left home?”

“Yeah,”

Sway
exhaled contently. “I can still remember some of those shitty motels we stayed
in and sleeping in the back of your truck just to make it to the next track.”