The Less-Dead (23 page)

When my dad is finished talking, I notice that Doomsday is about to leave. “Dad? Come here, I want you to meet someone.”

We hurry over to Doomsday. “Doomsday, wait.” He turns around. I can tell he feels uncomfortable around the crowd of people. “I want you to meet my father.”

My dad holds out his hand. Doomsday glances up shyly and shakes it.

“I want to say thank you,” my dad says, “for leading the police to Noah. Because of you, he’s alive.”

Doomsday lowers his eyes. “Oh, well, it’s the least I could do. I only wish I could have done more for Will.”

“We all feel that way,” my dad says. “But thank you. For helping my son.”

A dog starts barking. I peer into the distance and see Hercules. He’s waiting for Doomsday. “I should go,” Doomsday says. “It was so nice to meet you, Dr. Nordstrom. I’m sure Noah’s told you how much I enjoy your show.”

“Please, call me John,” my dad says. “Would you like to come with us, get something to eat?”

“Oh, no, I’m fine, thank you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Oh, yes. I’m sure.”

“Doomsday? I’ll stop by the Drag next weekend,” I say. “Maybe you can read me some more Walt Whitman?”

“Yes, I’d like that. And, Noah, I want to tell you something. I know Will kept secrets from me because he thought I wouldn’t understand. He thought I would judge him. But I knew. And it didn’t matter. Will was a great friend.”

“He thought a lot of you,” I say.

Doomsday smiles sadly, turns, and walks away. My dad and I stand there, watching helplessly.

Suddenly I hear footsteps behind us. Someone running. I turn and see Hawk. He waves to my dad and me, then yells, “Doomsday! Remember, we were going to have coffee?”

When Hawk reaches Doomsday, he puts an arm around his shoulder. They unleash Hercules from the tree and walk off together into the distance.

“Will he be okay?” my dad asks.

“I don’t know. I hope so.”

Later that night, I finally take out my guitar and begin to play I read Will’s poems too, even the dark, depressing ones. As I do, I begin to realize that even though there’s a lot of evil in the world, there’s also a lot of truth and beauty I think Will knew that best.

Carson lucks out. On the day of his baptism, it’s sixty-five degrees and sunny. Right now, he’s waist-deep in Kat’s pool, and thanks to our intense weight training, he’s looking fairly buff. Marty, the dunker, is beside him, and the two are talking quietly. The youth group is gathered around the patio, and Kat’s mom has set out refreshments. Aubrey is sitting on the other end of the pool, watching me. I see the bright yellow straps of her swimsuit—a bikini, I hope—underneath her clothes. I wave. She waves back.

Surprisingly, the DPCP is here. Carson’s mom begged him to come, and he gave in at the last minute. He was looking pretty uptight until Kat’s mom pulled through and brought him a beer. Evangelicals don’t normally serve alcohol at their get-togethers, especially baptisms, so I was pleased she made an exception. He’s not exactly smiling, but he doesn’t look like he’s on the verge of an aneurism either. He sees me and raises a hand in greeting. We’ve become a lot friendlier, now that he knows I’m not the lead zealot, and now that Prosthetics Inc. has gotten some good press.

Finally Marty begins. “Welcome, everyone. We’re here to celebrate with our friend Carson.” Marty goes through the usual mumbo jumbo, stuff I’ve heard a million times—
how baptism is about change, a new birth, a new beginning. But then he says something else. “Jesus also spoke about a baptism of fire. Sometimes it’s pain and suffering that causes our rebirth.”

I wonder if that’s what I’ve been through. A baptism of fire. It sure feels like it.

Carson’s lips are turning blue now. Marty turns to him. “Carson, is there anything you’d like to say?”

“Oh, yeah. Um, thanks, Mom, thanks, Dad, for coming.” His teeth are chattering. “Can we do it now?”

“Sure.”

When Carson rises out of the water, he’s smiling. Kat jumps into the water and gives him a hug. Without even thinking, I whip off my shirt and dive into the pool. The rest of the youth group does the same. I swim underwater, searching for Aubrey. And then I see her, eyes open, heading straight for me.

Like Noah, I grew up in a strict evangelical home. My parents are wonderful people, but as a teen I struggled with the church’s legalism, hypocrisy, and exclusivity. I began reading the Bible at a young age, and I never understood how pastors and church members could judge and even condemn others, especially when Jesus was the ultimate example of love and compassion. Ironically, the only people Jesus ever lashed out against were the religious leaders of the time. He called them hypocrites, a brood of vipers who shut the gates to the kingdom of heaven in men’s faces. To me that speaks volumes, even today.

As a teenager, I had a few gay friends and acquaintances in the church, but they stayed in the closet. The church taught that homosexuality was a terrible sin, so I imagine they lived with shame, guilt, and fear of going to hell. I wish I had understood more about my gay friends at the time, done something to help them, but it was the 1970s, gays
were largely misunderstood, and I had no clue what they were going through.

When I went to college, I lost touch with these people, but I heard about some of their fates. Two of the young men finally came out in their midtwenties, but their churches, friends, and families rejected them. Another young man left home to find a more tolerant community but eventually returned to his family when he was dying of AIDS. I can only hope he passed away with dignity.

Today the future is looking brighter for the GLBT community, but evangelical Christians still hold tightly to their fear and prejudice. Many right-wing Christian conservatives, like Pat Robertson, James Dobson, and the late Jerry Falwell, have publicly denounced gays and lesbians, claiming they have sinful and perverse lifestyles. Other prominent Christian leaders, like Rick Warren and Joel Osteen, who seem to take a more loving approach, still maintain that the Bible teaches that homosexuality is a sin. They claim to welcome gay people, but if you dig a little deeper, you’ll find that they also insist that gay Christians need to change their sexual orientation—or remain celibate. I’d like to see how many empty pews there would be in these churches if they told heterosexuals the same thing!

These Christian leaders claim that the Bible says homosexuality is a sin, but … does it really? If you’ve grown up in an evangelical home, you may be surprised by the answer. And if you’re a gay teenager burdened by strict evangelical teachings, I hope the truth will set you free from any guilt, fear, or shame you’ve had to endure.

There are only six references to homosexuality in the
Bible, and Christians who take the time and care to understand them in the light of the Bible’s ancient time and culture—after all, it was written thousands of years ago!—will understand what is truly being said.

So here they are. The six “clobber” passages that so many evangelical teachers quote to support their hard stance against homosexuality.

1) Genesis 19—The story of Sodom

Two angels (in the form of men) came to Lot’s house in Sodom. The men of the city gathered at Lot’s door and demanded that Lot bring these men outside so they could have sex with them. Ultimately, God destroyed Sodom with fire and brimstone. But was the sin of Sodom homosexuality? The answer is no. From archaeological records, we know that it was a common practice in the Near East for men to use homosexual rape to humiliate their enemies. So the story of Sodom is about mob violence, not homosexual desire.

2 & 3) Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13—Do not lie with mankind as with womankind. This is abomination
.

This is just one of a long list of rules God gave to the people of Israel while they were wandering in the desert for forty years. However, this rule comes right after the passage that prohibits eating pork or even touching the skin of a dead pig! Contact with a pig is also referred to as an abomination. How many pastors today would condemn a few strips of bacon or a game of football? And here’s something else to consider: To understand scripture, you must study its textual and
historical context. Leviticus states that this list of rules was given to prevent the Israelites from doing what the Egyptians and Canaanites did, including worshipping Ishtar, the goddess of fertility, by having sex with male temple prostitutes. This practice was believed to give men special powers and guarantee immortality. So it’s possible that this scripture referred to pagan religious practices.

4) Romans 1:21-28—Paul’s argument about the decline of mankind

This is probably the scripture that evangelicals use most often to condemn homosexuality. In fact, just recently, I was traveling to Houston for a school visit and heard a well-respected pastor of a mega-church in California on the radio quoting this passage from Romans and saying, “Don’t let anyone steer you wrong. The apostle Paul tells us clearly that homosexuality is a perversion.” But does he? Again, the answer is no—not if you understand this passage in its historical and cultural context. The Romans worshipped Aphrodite, and in her temple, both homosexual and heterosexual orgies with temple prostitutes took place. This is most likely what Paul was referring to. In this passage, his intention was probably to prohibit cultic sexual practices, not same-sex relationships.

5) Jude 7—Going after strange flesh

Evangelical Christians assume that Jude’s reference to “going after strange flesh” refers to homosexuality. For straight people, it seems unnatural to be attracted to someone of the same sex. But this isn’t what Jude was referring to.
In Genesis, there is an odd passage about angels taking daughters of humans as wives. Hence: strange flesh. This was the final act that brought judgment on the earth in the form of the great flood. Only Noah and his family were spared.

6) 1 Corinthians 6:9-10—A list of sins

The true meaning of this last passage is the most surprising of all. If you read these verses in a modern translation, like the New International Version (NIV), you’ll see that it actually states that homosexuals will not inherit the kingdom of God. Unfortunately, Bible translators may have used their own prejudice against gays to fuel this wrong translation. The word they translate as “homosexual” is
arsenokoitai
in the Greek, and it’s quite rare. In fact, the translators don’t really know its true meaning. It’s a combination of two words—those for “bed” and “male.” After a careful investigation by scholars into other texts in which this rare word is used, their best guess is that again, Paul’s reference is to cultic sexual practices involving male prostitution.

So there you have it. The six clobber passages are not so frightening after all. And while doing research on this topic, I came upon something very interesting. Did you know that Jesus lovingly reached out to a gay man? If you’ve grown up in the church, you’ve probably heard the story of Jesus healing the Roman centurion’s servant. The story is recorded in Matthew 8:5-13. When Jesus told the centurion that he would come to his house to heal the man, the centurion said there was no reason for Jesus to make the journey; if Jesus
would say the word, his servant would be healed. Jesus healed the servant and praised the centurion, marveling at his faith. Now, here’s the reason why this story is important. The Greek word used for “servant” in Matthew’s account is
pais
, which can also mean “male lover.” At other times, Matthew uses the word
duolos
to describe an ordinary servant. Along with this fact, I’d like to add something circumstantial. The Gospels contain many accounts of people asking Jesus to heal themselves or family members, but this is the only example in which someone asks for the healing of a slave. The concern and the desperate actions of the centurion seem to make more sense if the sick man is not only his servant, but also his male partner.

Throughout history, men have often used the Bible or their high positions in the church to justify their own prejudices. When slaves wanted their freedom, Christian slave owners claimed that slavery was an institution approved by God. When women wanted to vote, men used scriptures to claim that women should be subservient to men. When African Americans wanted civil liberties, men like Jerry Falwell, former evangelical pastor and founder of the Moral Majority, worked diligently against Martin Luther King, Jr., and the civil rights movement. Falwell called racial integration “the work of the devil that would destroy our race eventually.” In recent years, before his death, Falwell seemingly abandoned his racial bigotry and instead rallied against gays and lesbians. Of course, most evangelicals today are not so hateful and outspoken, but they still hold to the belief that practicing homosexuals have no part in the church or, for that matter, in the kingdom of God. My hope is that these
teachers and leaders will one day be enlightened, discover the truth, and embrace all men and women.

Fortunately, gay Christians and their supporters are beginning to speak out. Also, a number of evangelical Christians have recently come out. Mel White, a former ghostwriter for Jerry Falwell, is an example. Ray Boltz, a Christian singer and songwriter who has won two Dove Awards, is another.