The Letter (21 page)

She and Jamie were going nowhere. “We will worry about that when the time comes. I remember how much you loved to ride. For now, consider her yours to enjoy.” He took a guess. “You haven’t had much opportunity to do so since your marriage, have you?”

“No.” She looked at the Arabian with longing. “I haven’t owned a horse since I lived in my father’s home.”

“Why not?”

The hard look, there whenever she spoke of her husband, came into her eyes. “I asked once for a horse and was told I wasn’t worth spending the money on. I said I would settle for a nag, but apparently was not even worth the price of that.”

Each time she gave him another look into her life with his cousin, he wanted to kill someone, namely Leo. He lifted his hand to her face and trailed his knuckles over a cheek. “If you asked it of me, I would spend my entire fortune buying all the horses in the world for you. Ask me for anything, Diana, and I will find a way to give it to you.”

Her look was troubled. “What do you want from me, Michael?”

With a quick glance over his shoulder, he made sure they were alone. “For now, just this.”

He lowered his head and kissed her. He had wanted to taste her again for days. For too many nights since Wyburne, he laid awake thinking of loving her, had closed his eyes, wrapped his hand around his erection and relived being with her. It wasn’t the same.

Reckless stuck his head over his stall door and nickered. Michael smiled against Diana’s lips. Not giving her time to scold him for taking liberties in a stable where anyone might have seen, he took her hand. “Come and meet my beast.” He stood back and watched her approach his horse.

“Aren’t you a handsome one.” She scratched behind his ear and Reckless curled his lip in obvious ecstasy.

“Careful, you tell him such and it will go to his head. He will start to think he is too fine to carry the likes of me, and then he’ll take himself off and audition for the starring role in the equestrian ballet at Astley’s Amphitheatre.”

It was the amused smile on her face as she looked over her shoulder at him that made him wish he had more clever things to say. But his mind had gone blank. He could think of nothing but kissing her again.

She gave Reckless one last rub, then moved back to the mare. “She truly is lovely.”

The Arabian was beautiful, a dappled gray with a black mane, tail, and legs. It was the intelligent look in her eyes he liked most. “Have you thought of a name for her?”

“I have. She is Alpha.”

That she would think of new beginnings gave him hope. “I like it.”

She leaned close to the mare and whispered, but he could hear her words. “Your name is Alpha, and you are mine.”

He wasn’t sure why, but that she claimed the horse as hers seemed important, somehow a sign she would accept a future that included him. He really wanted to kiss her. Instead, he slipped her a piece of carrot.

Alpha delicately mouthed the treat from her palm. “I will always take good care of you and bring you carrots.” The horse snuffled her hand looking for more and Diana laughed. “You are a greedy thing, aren’t you?”

“She apparently has a high opinion of herself and thinks it is her due. In all likelihood, she will elope with Reckless and we will have to buy tickets to Astley’s just to set eyes on them. Sadly, they will become too high in the instep to acknowledge our presence. We can tell those seated around us that we knew them when they were merely two useless nags belonging to an old earl and a beautiful woman.”

Her eyes, those soft dark eyes, turned to him. “You think I’m beautiful?”

The devil.

He kissed her.

Chapter Seventeen

“You may go, Fanny.”

Alone, Diana walked to the mirror and stared at the woman she hadn’t seen in over a decade. The high-waisted, pale blue day dress with a band of embroidered pink roses around the hem was beautiful. She fingered the matching pink ribbon tied in a bow under her bosom, its ends floating down to her waist.

I am becoming me again.

She brushed a hand over the muslin, and then lifted the skirt for another look at the new half boots and fine white stockings. It took more than a new gown and artfully styled hair to instill a sense of worth, she knew that, but, dear God, it helped.

How Michael had managed to get Mademoiselle Durand to deliver two gowns and a riding habit in such a short time was beyond her. She didn’t doubt there was a fair sum of money involved, and though she was uncomfortable accepting all he had done for her and Jamie, she was thankful.

This morning, he had invited her to ride with him. She’d mounted her new horse, wearing her new habit, with no reason to be ashamed when she met the duke, the marquess, and his ward, Harry.

She had immediately liked the marquess. Derebourne was a pleasant man with a humorous side. His ease in goading the Duke of Aubrey had been impressive. As for the duke, there was a dark element to him, and she wondered if anyone else saw. What kind of woman could tame a man like him? She would soon find out.

She glanced at the clock. A quarter past four. The ladies would arrive any minute. She checked one last time that her hair was in place and then went to the drawing room to wait.

Smedley, extraordinarily stiff, appeared at the door. “My lady, Her Grace, the Duchess of Aubrey, and the Marchioness of Derebourne.” He bowed so low Diana feared he might topple over. Two women entered, amusement sparkling in their eyes. Walking in behind them, Michael came to her side.

“My lady, it is my pleasure to introduce you to Her Grace, the Duchess of Aubrey.” He indicated the tall woman with auburn hair and brilliant green eyes.

Diana curtsied. “Your Grace, welcome to my home.”

“And this lovely lady,” he said of the woman with beautiful moonlight pale hair, “is the Marchioness of Derebourne.”

“My lady, a pleasure to meet you.” Diana curtsied again.

“Your Grace, Lady Derebourne, allow me to introduce you to Lady Brantley.”

Michael exchanged pleasantries with them and then took his leave. Diana wished he could stay, but was grateful he had come in to introduce them. She stood frozen, all her fears of returning to society crashing down on her. The duchess raised a brow, and Diana gave a burst of nervous laughter. She clapped a hand over her mouth. God, they must think she was born in a barn. “I’m sorry, Your Grace, my lady. Once, I had manners, but I seem to have lost them. Please, have a seat while I ring for tea.”

An hour later, beyond the time of a polite visit, Diana held her sides as Katie, Her Grace having insisted Diana address her as a friend, told the story of her wedding day and the tenants His Grace had invited to witness their marriage.

“To this day, they still speak of it in awe. I doubt there is another duke and duchess in the realm whose only wedding guests were their tenants and servants. Made me feel quite honored, actually.”

Claire, as the marchioness had also asked Diana address her, gave the duchess a fond look. “I have heard this story before, and I almost laughed myself off the sofa the first time I heard it.”

Diana hoped these women truly meant to be her friends and this visit was not something they were doing only as a favor to Michael. She was sorry when she heard male voices in the hallway. “I believe I hear the men coming this way.”

The drawing room door opened and Smedley, obviously having the grandest day of his life, bowed, his nose almost touching the floor. “Your Grace, my ladies, His Grace, the Duke of Aubrey, and my lords, the Marquess of Derebourne, and the Earl of Daventry.”

“I wonder at the necessity of announcing me in my own home, Smedley,” Michael said with laughter in his voice. He came and stood next to her. His Grace pushed himself into the space on the sofa next to his wife, took her hand and placed it on his knee. The marquess chose a chair close to his marchioness and gave her a wicked smile.

Claire swatted her hand in her husband’s direction. “Behave yourself, Derebourne.”

“You expect too much from him,” His Grace commented.

The marchioness sighed. “I know, but one can always hope.”

“Leave Derebourne alone. I like him just the way he is. He is almost as amusing as his silly horse,” Katie said.

His Grace snorted. “His horse is an idiot.”

“Oh ho, wait until I tell Mischief what you called him. See if he gives you any more hugs,” Derebourne said.

The duke looked heavenward. “There is a God.”

Diana sat back and listened to the banter passing between the two couples. It was obvious they were close friends, and she liked them very much. Lord Derebourne was irreverent, and kept them laughing. He was a beautiful man with his golden hair and sky blue eyes, which were more often than not, trained on his wife.

The duke was reserved, and the air of danger surrounding him intimidated her a little, but she enjoyed the way he seemed to like baiting Lord Derebourne. However, she wouldn’t want him for an enemy. What saved her from being afraid of him was the way his eyes turned soft when he looked at his duchess.

Diana pinched herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. A month ago, she had been trying to think of a new way to prepare a potato and now here she was entertaining a duke, a marquess, and their wives. The idea of it seemed so absurd, a little burst of laughter escaped her. Fortunately, Derebourne made a comment that caused everyone to laugh, so she avoided embarrassing herself. The afternoon ended with the promise of an invitation to dinner and perhaps a night out to the theater.

“Did you like the ladies?” Michael asked after they left.

“Oh, yes. I had a wonderful visit. Do you think Her Grace and Lady Derebourne meant their offer of friendship?”

He took her hand and led her to the sofa. “I assure you, they would not have offered if they didn’t mean it. Aubrey is very protective of his duchess, and if he had a hint she didn’t like you, he would have walked her right out the door, manners be damned.”

“That doesn’t surprise me. He seems a formidable man. I was thinking while he was here that I would not want him for an enemy.”

“Very true, but I don’t wish to speak of His Grace.” He turned to face her. “I’ve yet to tell you how lovely you look today.”

“Thank you, kind sir.”

His gaze lowered to her lips. “I’m going to kiss you now.”

She shouldn’t allow it, but as his mouth touched hers, the thought vanished. She had never been able to resist his kisses when they were courting, still could not. He nipped on her bottom lip. She opened her mouth, and his tongue slipped inside, exploring and tasting. His hand cradled her neck, the pads of his fingers pressed against her skin. She placed her palm on the side of his face. He groaned, and his tongue left her mouth. He trailed kisses across her cheek, to her neck, then finding her earlobe and sucking it into his mouth. She shivered as he moved his hand over her skin, down to the curve of her breast and gently stroked her. Her heart pumped a rush of hot blood through her and she almost said please. That she came so close to pleading brought her back to awareness.

“Stop. Michael, please stop.”

He lifted his head and looked at her. “Are you sure?”

No, it wasn’t what she wanted, but this could only lead to one thing and that she couldn’t allow. She lowered her hand to her lap and nodded.

He took a deep breath, and then kissed her one last time before leaning his head against the back of the sofa. “Today, you smell like violets and taste like honey and spices. I smell you, I taste you, and all I can think is how desperately I want you.”

He stood and pulled her up. Taking her hand, he pressed it over his erection. “Listen. This is what you do to me, Diana. Don’t ever doubt your power over me.”

He freely admitted she had power over him, something Leo had taught her a man would never allow. Because Michael could not only acknowledge it, but that he would allow such a thing was an amazing gift. He was making it difficult to keep from falling in love with him again. Somehow, she had to find the strength to keep the wall around her heart in place. Wanting what was out of her reach would only lead to more heartbreak.

Yet, what did he want from her? A horrifying thought occurred to her. Why hadn’t she considered this before? It had to be the reason for the kisses, the touches. She was so stupid.

“I won’t be your mistress.” She turned to leave, but he grabbed her arm, stopping her.

“What the devil are you talking about?”

There was anger in his eyes, and she instinctively stepped back.

“Stop it. You insult me when you do that. What do I have to do to prove I won’t hurt you? Ever. I had hoped you understood that by now.”

“I’m sorry. I do know it.” She was embarrassed, and regretted offending him. She was also disappointed in him. “May I go now?”

“For the love of God, Diana, you don’t need my permission to leave a room. I would ask, however, that you explain your earlier comment before you go.”

She should have kept her mouth shut. What if she was wrong? Yet, what else could he want from her? Although, if he ever saw her body, he wouldn’t even want her as his mistress.

He crossed his arms over his chest and rocked back on his heels. “An explanation sometime today would be appreciated, my lady.”

“Why have you never married?”

****

What the devil did that have to do with her declaration? Once again, she had that surprised look on her face. He hoped the unexpected would always flow from her mouth. She vastly entertained him.

Now the question was out, however, she regarded him expectantly. What did she hope to hear?

He could tell her he was hers, always had been, always would be. He could say it was because he had never found another her. Would she believe him if he told her he loved her, that without her his life held no meaning?

Having this conversation now was not in his plan. He was to court her, win her heart and then he would kneel at her feet and offer his love, his devotion, his name. Then they would marry, and the next man who tried to put asunder what God had joined together would get a sword through his heart. It was a good plan.

“An answer sometime today would be nice, my lord.”