The Letter (11 page)

‘This morning the British Ambassador in Berlin handed the German Government a formal note stating that, unless we heard from them by eleven o’clock this morning that they were prepared at once to withdraw their troops from Poland, a state of war would exist between us. I have to tell you now that no such undertaking has been received, and that consequently this country is at war with Germany.’

Chrissie had been holding her breath, but now let out a huge sob. Billy wrapped his arms around her and she turned and clung to him. Dr Skinner calmly lit up a cigarette and blew the smoke across the table.

‘Well, that’s that then,’ he declared. ‘Better get your bags packed, Billy.’

‘Samuel!’ shouted Mabel. ‘Stop it. Can’t you see Chrissie’s upset?’

Billy stood up. ‘It’s alright, Mrs Skinner. Come on, Chrissie, let’s go for a walk.’

As they wandered down the path, Chrissie gazed up at the skies. ‘Do you think it will be safe?’

Billy laughed. ‘I don’t think the Luftwaffe could get here that quickly.’

The streets were almost empty, save for a few mothers clutching their babies tightly. They were off to church to have their infants baptised immediately. The panic in the air was tangible and Chrissie clung to Billy’s arm.

‘I’m sorry about my father.’

‘You’ve been apologising for him since the day we met. He’s never going to accept us as a couple so we might as well get used to it. Anyway, he’s right. I will have to go away.’

Chrissie stopped in her tracks and covered her face with her hands.

Billy put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. ‘I don’t know what to say, Chrissie. It’s terrible, I know, but there is nothing I can do.’

They had reached the park and Chrissie plonked herself down on a bench.

‘It’s worse than you think,’ she said miserably. Her hands trembled in her lap. ‘Can I have a cigarette, please?’

Billy widened his eyes in astonishment as he held out a packet of Woodbine.

She pulled one from the pack but her shaking hands couldn’t keep hold if it. ‘Can you light it for me?’

‘Of course.’ He expertly lit the cigarette and took a long drag before handing it to Chrissie.

She placed it between her lips and sucked at the tip.

‘You’re not doing it right. Breathe from your lungs.’

Chrissie took a deep breath and felt the smoke fill her chest. She immediately spluttered and coughed violently as the smoke travelled down her nose, making her eyes water.

‘Thanks,’ she managed, handing the cigarette back to Billy. ‘I feel better for that.’

Billy laughed and kissed her forehead lightly. ‘We’ll get through it, you know.’

Chrissie fell silent and gazed at the children running round the park. She wondered if they had understood what had happened that morning. War probably seemed like the most exciting adventure in the world to them. They would soon be evacuated though, separated from their families for months, even years. Chrissie shuddered at the thought. Billy lay back on the bench, with his hands clasped behind his head, face up to the sun, eyes closed. She laid her head on his chest and could hear his heart beating gently, and she welcomed the warmth of him, the scent of his freshly-laundered shirt and the feel of the tight muscles in his stomach. She did not know if she could endure being parted from him.

‘Billy?’ she whispered eventually.

‘What?’ he replied, without opening his eyes.

‘I’m pregnant.’

Billy froze for a second and Chrissie felt the change in his heartbeat. He pushed her away slightly so he could look into her eyes.

‘What? How? I mean, you can’t be. It’s not possible.’

She watched the blood slowly drain from his face as he waited for an explanation.

‘ Well, it obviously is possible,’ replied Chrissie, somewhat indignantly. ‘Because I am.’

‘But the only time we’ve ever made love was under the oak tree during the storm.’ He stood up and put his hands on his hips. ‘How could you let this happen?’

Chrissie felt as though she had been slapped. ‘Me? I think you’ll find it takes two people to make a baby.’

‘A baby?’ Billy repeated. ‘I can’t believe this. How long have you known?’

‘I’m two months gone.’

‘And you’ve never said anything until now. Are you sure?’

‘I’m the daughter of a doctor and a midwife, of course I’m sure.’

‘This is a disaster,’ proclaimed Billy. ‘How could you be so, so…’

‘So what, Billy?’

He slumped back down on the bench and held his head in his hands.

‘Have you told your parents?’

Chrissie snorted. ‘What do you think?’

‘Can you give me a minute? I can’t…Look, I need to be on my own while I take this in. I’m sorry. This has come as a complete shock.’

He rose from the bench and strode off without a backward glance. Chrissie watched him as he broke into a run and disappeared round the corner. She had never felt so abandoned and alone in her entire life. She suddenly felt unwell as the fear washed over her and then abruptly turned to anger. How could Billy
do
this to her? She looked around the park, expecting someone to come to her aid, but they were all engrossed in their own lives. She might as well be invisible. She clutched her stomach and sank to her knees. Her whole body heaved as she sobbed uncontrollably.

*

Alice Stirling looked up from her sewing as her son burst through the door. Her fingers were sore from pushing the needle through the heavy blackout fabric, but she had nearly finished the curtains for their tiny house. He looked a dreadful mess with his tousled hair and profusely sweating brow.

‘Billy!’ exclaimed Alice. ‘Oh come in, sit down. It’s dreadful news isn’t it?’ She ushered her son to his place at the kitchen table and massaged his broad shoulders. ‘What a terrible shock. I know some people have been expecting it, but nevertheless…’

Billy turned to look at his mother, perplexed. ‘How do you know?’

‘What do you mean, how do I know? I heard it on the wireless. I went next-door and Reg let me listen with him.’

Billy realised then she was talking about the war.

‘Oh that, yeah, it’s terrible. But like you say, we’ve been expecting it. It was only a matter of time.’

He glanced around the kitchen. ‘Where’s Dad?’

Alice scoffed. ‘I don’t know. He went out early this morning.’

Billy hugged his mother tightly. She deserved so much better.

There was a pot roast in the oven and despite his turmoil, Billy felt comforted by its delicious aromas. It was only a cheap cut of meat, but by the time Alice Stirling had finished with it, it would have the taste and texture of the finest fillet steak. The thought of the rich gravy bubbling away inside the oven made his mouth water. His mother was a wonderful cook. Her roast potatoes were legendary, the best in the world, sweet and fluffy in the middle, crisp and dark on the outside. She had made his favourite apple pie too and it was sitting on the side waiting to be cooked.

‘Are you making custard, as well?’ asked Billy.

‘Billy, when have I ever served apple pie without it?’

Billy stared up at his mother and his eyes filled with tears. What would have become of him if she had not marched into that orphanage all those years ago and scooped him up out of his high chair, creating that instant bond between them? Billy knew that the war would separate them and his heart ached for the pain his mother would have to endure. He watched her at the sink now, her back shaking as she vigorously scrubbed the potatoes.

‘I love you, Mum.’

Alice Stirling stopped scrubbing and gripped the edge of the sink, trying to compose herself. She wiped her hands on her apron and turned round to face her son.

‘I love you too, Billy. Never forget that.’ She crossed the kitchen, kissed him on the forehead and did not mention the tear which had escaped his eye and run down his cheek. ‘Now then, would you set the table please?’

‘Of course I will. For how many?’

Alice sighed and began work on the potatoes again. ‘Three. One of these days your father may remember where he lives and grace us with his presence for lunch. Better to be prepared. Oh, and put some wine glasses out too, son.’

‘Wine?’

‘Yes,’ continued Alice. ‘And some serviettes as well. We’ve all had bad news today and a proper Sunday lunch will perk us all up. There’s a bottle of red in the back of that cupboard. I can’t even remember where it came from, but I’m sure it will be alright.’

‘Blimey, it must be well-hidden if Dad hasn’t found it!’

‘Now, now, Billy. Show some respect to your father.’

‘Sure. Sorry Mum.’

How she could be so loyal to his feckless father was beyond Billy.

After they had finished eating, Billy pushed his plate away and leant back in his chair.

‘Mum, I’ve got some news.’

Alice stood up to clear away the plates.

‘Have you? What news?’

He caught hold of her hand. It was rough and calloused with years of domestic chores and Billy was amazed he had not noticed this before. ‘Sit down, please. Leave the pots for now.’

Alice pulled up a chair and a worried look clouded her face. ‘What is it, love?’

‘Chrissie’s pregnant.’

Her hands rushed to her mouth. ‘Oh, God, Billy, how could you have been so stupid?’

Billy stood up and paced the room. ‘You’re right. I’m an idiot. What am I going to do?’

He looked so feeble and helpless that Alice could not help herself. She stood up and hugged him tightly. ‘It’ll be alright. We’ll work something out.’

She looked furtively towards the door in case Henry chose this most inopportune moment to return. ‘Best not tell your father just yet though.’

Billy nodded his agreement. ‘Poor Chrissie. It was such a shock when she told me that I couldn’t take it in. I just ran off and left her. She will be utterly distraught. I can’t believe I behaved so selfishly.’

His mother was horrified. ‘Billy! You need to talk to her. She’ll be in turmoil now. Oh, God, what a mess, what a day!’

‘You’re right, I need to see her again. My behaviour was appalling.’ He grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair and kissed his mother on her cheek. ‘Bye, I’ll see you later.’

Billy jogged the two miles to Chrissie’s house, his Sunday lunch lying heavily in his stomach. By the time he arrived, he was breathless and his damp shirt stuck to his skin. He started to make his way round the back of the surgery, but changed his mind and used the front door instead. He pushed his finger onto the doorbell and held it there. He suddenly felt incredibly antagonistic towards Dr Skinner and he knew ringing the doorbell constantly would irritate the man. He could hear Leo barking excitedly and silently prayed that Chrissie would answer the door. Alas it was her father’s gruff tones he could hear coming down the hallway. Dr Skinner opened the door and from his vantage point on the porch step looked down on Billy.

‘Dr Skinner. Is Chrissie in please?’

‘No.’

This took Billy by surprise.

‘Oh. Well, do you know where she is?’

‘No.’

‘Do you know how long she will be then?’

‘No.’

How Billy hated this man. He struggled to speak calmly. ‘Well, could you give her a message? No, actually, on second thoughts, don’t bother. I’ll wait.’

Without another word, Dr Skinner closed the door and put the chain on. He called upstairs.

‘He says he’s going to wait.’

Chrissie sat on the top stair and smiled to herself. She had known for sure he would come back, but he had behaved monstrously and she needed some time to gather her emotions. She thought it would do him no harm to reflect on his abominable behaviour. She would leave it for half an hour and then go out to him.

Billy sat on the pavement, chain-smoking his cigarettes, as he contemplated his future. However he looked at it, it didn’t promise much. His girlfriend was pregnant out of wedlock, her father hated the very sight of him and war had just been declared, a war that he was going to have to fight in whether he wanted to or not. He jumped at the sound of footsteps close behind. Samuel Skinner crouched down and spoke menacingly into his ear.

‘She is in, but she doesn’t want to see you.’

Billy spun round. ‘What? I don’t believe you.’

‘Suit yourself, but I’m telling you, you’re wasting your time. You’ve obviously had some sort of row, she won’t tell me what it’s about, but I suggest you go home, sonny, and forget all about her.’

Billy stood up now and faced his nemesis.

‘You’d like that wouldn’t you, but unfortunately you are not in possession of all the facts.’ Billy snatched up his jacket. ‘Tell Chrissie, I’ll be back tomorrow.’

Dr Skinner barged Billy on the arm as he turned and went back into the house.

He called up the stairs again. ‘Chrissie, he’s gone. Said he was fed up of waiting. Didn’t think you were worth the bother and, anyway, he’ll be going away soon. He said not to wait for him but to move on with your life. You know, I’m not sure we’ll be seeing that young man again.’

Chrissie stood shocked and rigid at the top of the stairs, steadying herself on the banister. She could not believe it. She had only meant to keep him waiting for a little while and now he had left her. This couldn’t be happening. She ran to the bathroom and retched into the toilet, the nausea this time having nothing to do with the baby growing inside her.

Chapter 9

By the time Billy arrived back home, his mother had tidied away all the pots and was sitting by the fireside knitting. His father had returned and was asleep in the other chair beside her. Alice Stirling put her finger to her lips as Billy entered the kitchen.

‘Did you speak to her?’ she whispered.

Billy motioned for his mother to follow him into the front parlour.

‘Don’t put any lights on, I’ve not put the black-out curtain up yet. I know it’s not quite dark, but I’m not taking any chances.’

They stood facing each other in the gloom as Billy told her of his encounter with Dr Skinner.

‘That man is so vile. How he ever entered such a caring profession is beyond me. Do you think it was true, what he was saying, about Chrissie not wanting to see you?’