The Library - The Complete Series (42 page)

"That smoke," he says, pointing at the plume of smoke that has been burning more or less consistently ever since I first came to the library. "That's the great war, isn't it?"

"Apparently," I say. "I don't think I want to go and find out."

"And over there," he says, looking in another direction, "that's the ocean in the middle of the library."

I narrow my eyes a little and see what he's talking about. Far, far away, there's a dark patch that appears to be a body of water. I saw an ocean marked on the map, but it never occurred to me until this moment what that means: this entire library is like a country, with hills and valleys, oceans, fields, and everything else you'd expect. The only different is that the entire place is lined with bookshelves. In the far distance, there's a large structure that seems to loom out from among the shelves.

"That's the Librarian's Citadel," Thomas says. "Everyone knows about the office. You don't go there. Not ever. The Librarian is not to be disturbed."

"Let me guess," I say, "there's a yellow-brick road that leads up to the gate?"

Thomas frowns. "I don't think so," he says. "What makes you say that?"

I laugh. "It's a joke. And it wouldn't be funny if I had to explain it." I take a deep breath; the air in the library is much cleaner than the air in the outside world. In some ways, this is a great place: there's a kind of order here that stands as a marked contrast to the chaos of the world I come from, and you'd definitely never run out of stuff to read. Sitting here with Thomas, it occurs to me that maybe I'm wrong to run away. If I can't find Duncan, what's the point of just leaving the library and going back to the world I come from. After all, I kind of fucked up my life back there, and there are a lot of dangers. Couldn't I be happy here, with Thomas? I could help the tribe to improve their encampment, and I could teach them to be stronger and fitter. Then again, they're all human and as a werewolf I'd have to watch them get older and die. Thomas would die eventually, and I'd have to raise another generation of humans, and another, and another. No, I have to get back to 'my' world, where I can at least be free.

"You look thoughtful," Thomas says.

"I'm just thinking about how much I'll miss this place," I say. "It's crazy, but this time a year ago I felt trapped, and I was desperate to get out. Now we've got the map, I'm realizing that there are things about the library that I wish I could take with me."

There's a pause, and then Thomas leans over and kisses me. It's a slow, tender kiss, and it's one that has been threatening to take place for most of the past year. I've felt attracted to Thomas all this time, but I've always resisted doing anything about it because I knew I'd leave one day. Now that I'm about to actually, finally get out of here, I've let my guard down for a moment and the kiss is happening.

That night, up on top of a wide bookshelf, under the stars, and overlooking the whole of the library, Thomas and I make love. We both know we don't have long left, and we both know that we shouldn't be doing this. But I guess we can't help it. Some things don't have to last forever in order to be beautiful or important. For us, all that matters is the moment. A few hours later, as dawn breaks across the library, I say farewell to the other members of the tribe and Thomas escorts me on the road back to the entrance.

Three weeks later

Four

The sky above is dark, threatening rain any minute, as Thomas and I walk along yet another aisle. We've been on the move for weeks, following the map and getting closer to the entrance. Unfortunately, there's not much variation in the scenery as we pass by seemingly never-ending rows of books. Adding to the problem is the fact that the map is marked with various dangers which we've decided to avoid, so we don't take the quickest route possible. Still, the journey so far has been fairly uneventful, and Thomas and I have been getting on pretty well. Since leaving the tribe, we've become much closer than I expected, to the extent that I'm starting to worry about what it'll be like when we have to say goodbye to one another at the entrance.

Thomas, too, seems to be dreading the farewell. According to the map, we're probably less than a day from getting to our destination, which means that we won't be together for much longer. Consequently, both Thomas and I have started to create a little distance in our relationship. We don't hold hands any more as we walk, and we barely talk. It's as if we're getting ready for the end by starting to separate physically and emotionally from one another. I guess there's no point being close when we're just going to have to split up soon anyway.

But there's an idea forming in the back of my mind; an idea that could help me persuade Thomas to leave the library and come with me. I'm sure the tribe would be fine without him, and I
know
that Thomas would be able to survive in the outside world, especially with me to help him. Plus, now that I've become separated from Duncan, I kind of feel like I still want to be around someone. I know that's crazy after I spent so long wanting to live purely as a wolf, and that
is
still my ultimate aim. Kind of. Sort of. Hell, I don't know any more. If I can persuade Thomas to leave the library and come with me, life could be very different.

"You're quiet," he says as we walk.

"So are you," I reply.

"It's my nature to be quiet," he says, smiling. "But your nature is to talk, and you're not talking. It makes me think that something is wrong."

I sigh. "I guess I'm just thinking about what happens when we get to the entrance. I'm going to have to say goodbye to you, and that's going to be really weird."

"You have your world, and I have my world," he says. "It seems there is no way to overcome that problem."

"But I've spent the past year in your world," I point out, "hanging out with you. Don't you think it's only fair if you come to my world for a year and get to know it a little? Maybe you'll like it? And if you don't, you can just come back."

He shakes his head. "I have no need to see your world," he says. "I'm happy with my life in the library, and I feel that the tribe needs me."

"They don't need you," I say.

"They do!" he protests.

"Bollocks," I say. "You make yourself feel better by pretending that they need you, when in fact they can get by perfectly well without you. If you just accept that they can manage, you can let go of this need to feel like you're in charge." I look up as rain starts to fall. "Shit," I say, realizing that the oncoming storm seems to have finally arrived.

"There's no point talking about this," Thomas says a little humorlessly. "You have your view, and I have mine. I don't think we're going to come to any kind of compromise, so why don't we just try not to fight during our final hours together."

"I guess," I say, though I still feel he's being unnecessarily stubborn. He could come to the outside world for a short while, and he could at least
try
to live there with me. But no, he's devoted to his life in the library and it seems I won't be able to change his mind.

"We should settle somewhere for the night," he says as the rain gets heavier. "It's going to be a bad one; we need to make sure we're dry."

We don't have a tent with us, so we have to find shelves with some space. Fortunately it doesn't take long and soon we're tucked in together, packed tight as the rain hammers down in the aisles and night begins to fall. It's strange, but despite my desperate desire to get out of the library, I feel a pang of nostalgia now that I realize this will be my last night amongst the shelves. As a bolt of lightning arcs across the sky and a rumble of thunder sounds in the distance, I try to imagine what the 'real' world will be like after all this time.

"So are we going to waste our last night?" Thomas asks.

I turn to him. Although the shelf is tall and deep, we're still crammed into a very tight space, with barely enough room to breathe. "What are you thinking about?" I ask him, even though I know what he wants. He wants us to make love one final time. Hell, it'd probably help us to keep warm.

"First I want to make you promise something," he says. "If you get to the outside world, and if you find that it's not the right place for you any more, promise me you'll come back to the library. Keep hold of the map so you know you can always find the tribe."

"I promise," I say, suddenly realizing how much he wants me to stay with him. If only I could, but it's impossible. I have to go. And although I'm saying all the right things, I know deep down in my heart that there's no way I'll ever come back to the library. The thought of living in such a confined space is impossible to entertain. "But you have to promise something as well," I say. I pull a piece of paper from my pocket. "You got a pencil or something?" He hands me a pencil and I write down my phone number. "If
you
change
your
mind, and you decide you're sick of living in a fucking library and you want to come out into the real world..." I put the paper in his hand. "Promise you'll call me."

"I promise," he says.

"And if -" I start to say, but then I turn and look out at the aisle. I swear I hear a noise, but now there's nothing. Still, it reminds me of when I was out here with Duncan, right before those huge Mites attacked us.

"What's wrong?" Thomas asks.

"Nothing," I say quickly, not wanting to panic him. But the truth is: I heard something. It was that sound again, like knives being sharpened. I turn to Thomas. "I'm not sure, but I might have heard something nearby. Like... one of those Mite things."

"They move very quietly," Thomas replies. "If you heard something, perhaps it was just one of the ordinary citizens of the library. Besides, it's raining. How can you hear anything above the storm?"

"Werewolf, remember?" I say, smiling. "Highly advanced senses."

Out in the aisle, rain continues to pour down and there's still the occasional flash of lightning accompanied by rumbles of thunder.

"Jess," Thomas says, sounding a little nervous. "I want to ask you something."

I turn to him. "Shoot."

He pauses. "My tribe..."

"
Our
tribe," I correct him.

He smiles. "Our tribe... has certain rituals that mean something to us. One of them is..." He pauses again. "In our culture, two people can become married if they simply agree to it. Privately, between themselves."

"Oh," I say.

Silence for a moment.

"If you'd be willing to -"

"Okay," I say, surprising myself. I mean, it feels like more of a symbolic act rather than any huge commitment, and it might be something nice to leave behind for Thomas.

"Then it's done," he says.

"Seriously?" I ask, a little shocked. I was expecting at least a couple more minutes to think it over.

He nods, grinning. "According to the customs and rituals of our tribe, we're now husband and wife."

I stare at him. "Wow," I say. "I mean... I'm your wife?"

"You are," he says.

I glance out at the storm. "And this is our wedding night, huh?"

"Let's get some sleep," Thomas says, putting an arm around me. "Tomorrow's a big day."

Surprisingly, despite the storm and despite my concerns, and despite my shock at having apparently just got married, we manage to get to sleep. It's not a particularly restful sleep, but it'll do. However, after a few hours I wake up and find that the storm is still raging; if anything, it's got worse. Thomas is still dozing next to me, but I feel wide awake, as if something nearby has set off my senses. I stare out into the aisle, and suddenly I see several large legs crawl past. It's one of the Mites, and it stops right next to our shelf.

I hold my breath, determined not to do anything that might give the Mite a clue that we're here. I've no idea if it's already detected us, or if it just happens to be out in the rain, but the last thing I want to do is help it out in any way. Hopefully it'll just carry on past us, and -

A second Mite comes into view. I can't see their bodies, not from down here on the shelf, but I can see their blade-like, spider-like legs scuttling through the rain-soaked mud, and I can hear that horrible sound of sharpening knives every time they move. Leaning forward slightly, I look alone the aisle and see half a dozen more sets of legs. Somehow, we've accidentally found ourselves right in the middle of a big gathering of the creatures. I take a slow, quiet breath. Maybe it's just a coincidence that they're here, and they'll just move on in a moment. After all, they don't strike me as the smartest creatures in the world.

"Don't move," Thomas whispers in my ear. He's woken up and seen the Mites.

"Won't they be able to smell us?" I ask.

"They focus on vision," he whispers. "Sound, smell, all those things are secondary to them."

We wait as the Mites move along the aisle. It seems as if they don't know we're here, so all we have to do is wait and hopefully they'll be gone soon.

"Don't worry," Thomas whispers. "They're dangerous, but they're not very smart. They're dying off, too. Over the years we see less and less of them. They're being hunted to extinction. My guess is there are only a few hundred of them left in the whole library."

After a few more minutes, the Mites seem to give up and wander away. Whatever they're doing out there in the storm, they don't seem to be aware we're here at all. Finally, I start to relax.

"It'll be dawn soon," Thomas says. "There's no point going back to sleep."

I turn to him. "So what do you want to do?" I ask.

He smiles, looking a little embarrassed. "It's kind of cramped in here," he says.

"True," I reply, "but I've never made love on a bookshelf before, and I don't know when I'll get another opportunity." I lean in to kiss, him but suddenly I see something moving behind him. I look closer, and I see that there's something moving in the shelf that backs onto our shelf. It takes a split second before I realize it's a Mite, and suddenly the back of the shelf is smashed open and the Mite reaches its sharp legs through to try to get us.

Grabbing Thomas, I pull him out of the shelf and into the muddy aisle. It's dark and pouring with rain, but there's just enough light from the moon to see that the Mite is struggling through the shelf to try to get to us.

"Why did it attack from behind?" I ask, shocked.

"Like I said," Thomas replies, "they're not the smartest creatures."

I turn and look along the aisle. "Unless it was just trying to drive us out so the others could get to us."

"They're not capable of planning ahead like that," he says.

I reach out, take his head in my hands and force him to look along the aisle, where two Mites are watching us. There are two more in the other direction, which means we're surrounded.

"Clever bastards," Thomas says.

"Up!" I shout, pushing him to the shelf. "Climb up!"

As the Mites rumble towards us, we climb up onto the top of one of the bookshelves. We're soon a good ten meters up above the Mites, but they're slowly starting to climb after us.

"I thought you said they weren't that smart!" I say as lightning flashing above us.

"I guess they're learning, "Thomas says.

We back away along the shelf as the first Mite reaches the top.

"Stay back," I say, switching to my wolf form and launching myself at the creature. I manage to sink my fangs into its head, forcing blood to burst out into my mouth. I feel the creature immediately go limp, and then I turn and growl at another as if climbs up onto the top of the shelf. Ignoring my threats, the Mite lashes out at me, catching my arm and cutting the skin open. The wound'll heal fast enough, but right now I have to protect Thomas. I throw myself into the Mite, biting hard into its neck as we tumble from the bookshelf and land down in the mud again.

What happens next is a blur. There are still two Mites left to fight, and they're quickly all over me. Although I bite and scratch at them, it's hard to overpower two of the creatures at once. Their blade-like legs rip and slice at me, and eventually one of them thrusts out one of its straw-like tubes, puncturing my chest. I feel it start to suck blood and other matter out of me, and it's a horrific feeling. For a moment, I feel all the fight start to leave my body, but then I realize how important it is that I survive so I get to my feet and bite down hard on the Mite's head, killing it. It doesn't take me long to kill the other creature, either, and finally I'm standing in the rain with dead Mites all around me. I'm badly hurt, and bleeding heavily, but my werewolf physiology should heal things pretty soon.